Tips To Not Go Crazy This Hockey Season

Lee MJ Elias [0:08 - 2:05]: Hello, hockey friends and families around the world. And welcome back to another edition of our kids play hockey. You know, when you're listening to this, we're most likely in the season, your kids probably playing hockey, because a lot of people play hockey year round. Today's topic is going to be one you like, tips to not go crazy during the season. Now what, what do I mean by that? Mike and I are privileged to watch a lot of hockey games from the bench, from the stands to. That's fair. Yeah, sometimes. And what I realized is that just kind of watching parents, Mike, there's a lot of anxiety, I think, sometimes in the crowd, and we want to go over some things that you can do as parents when you're watching your kids, just to kind of level off some of the anxiety. Some of you might be saying, well, I don't have a lot of anxiety. Maybe you don't, but those around you may. And I want to help you. And this could be everything from the goalie mom that is jumping up with each shot on Netanyahu to you watching your own kid. And I think that's where I want to start. Mike, one of the things you have to remind yourself as a hockey parent is that when you're watching the game, I know you're watching, quote unquote, the game, but when your kid's on the ice, most parents watch just their kid. All right. So my first tip is to just be aware of that and remember that we want to watch our kids, we want to support our kids. That's because you love your kid. Right. But it ends up creating a little bit of being hypercritical with our kids. Or you could say, do this, do that, go get that. My advice is not to do that. Let them play. One of the things that I don't like to see, and this is one of those things you can inadvertently create for your love for your kid, is does your kid look up at you when they make a mistake? That's not a good sign. All right? You want your kid to look at you for reassurance when they make a mistake. You actually want them to go back to the bench to their coach and discuss that mistake. They don't want to be looking at the crowd. Right. So, Mike, I'm going to throw it to you here, but that's my first tip, is to be aware that you are most likely only watching your kid when they're out there for a shift. 

Mike Bonelli [2:06 - 4:26]: Yeah, on both sides. Right. If you're a coach getting approached by a parent, understand the parent is probably only focused on their own kid and. And just. And just kind of, like, take it in where it's like, well, there's that. This. And you have to understand, like, okay, well, obviously this person is just only caring about their kid, right. Which is fine. It's just. It's part of being a parent, I guess. Right? I'm not watching when I watch my kids, I'm just watch. I'm watching them, like, oh, what are they doing? How are they doing? Like, and now when I blame them or I. Or I. Or I see something that I don't like about their play, I think I have a good perspective of saying, well, this. This is a result of this and this causes that, and that causes this. But other parents that I work with don't care or understand that. Like, they. They see a goal got scored and it's. Well, that guy let that player come out of the corner and they got scored on. That kid stinks. And that's not my kid's problem. Well, your four check in the beginning allowed that player to move and did this and then came in, and then they came over the blue line and nobody back checked. And yes, the end result was that player being exposed. But the fact is, you know, your player was a big part of that as well. And I think when we speak to parents and parents, when we look at the big picture, it is. It's. It is probably the most difficult piece. Right. To do that. I. You do it at the, at the school when you're. When you're at the band, right? Like, oh, my God, that. That sounds terrible. That kid's terrible. I'm like, yeah, well, your kid plays the trombone, but there's seven trombonists. Like, I don't even see his lips on the trombone, so he ain't even playing. Like, thank God, right? But. But it's just a matter of saying, well, it's all. And again, is it easy? There's no doubt about it. It's hard. It's the hardest thing because you really just. You really want to watch your kid, right? And it's hard to look at it from a, you know, from a. From a bird's eye view of the whole process, but knowing all that, just, you've got. You've got to find a way because it does project on your kid that you can't start going crazy now, if it's. If it's August, September, October, November, you can't, like, I can't. I've gotten. And this is. This is week. Like, we're going to be in week three or four or five, wherever you. 

Lee MJ Elias [4:26 - 4:28]: Listen when we're recording this. Yeah. 

Mike Bonelli [4:28 - 4:47]: Right. And you're in, and I can't tell you how many people, like, oh, my God. I heard the team's falling apart now. You know, would you. Would you like to. You should look into this. Usually I'm like, it's week three, guys. It's week two. It's week seven. Like, even me. Like, even, even nothing. There's nothing. No wheels falling off in youth hockey, you know, before. Before New Year's. 

Lee MJ Elias [4:47 - 8:01]: Mike, you actually bringing up a good point here, which is kind of one of my other tips here. Right. So just to kind of reinforce what you're saying, like, again, my tip is this, just be aware, if you're only watching your kid, I'm not telling you not to do it. I want to make sure the audience understands that. But when you can start seeing things a little more five on five and realize that your kid is part of a five skater unit with a goalie and see the game that way, it can really change how you watch the game. It actually makes the game much more enjoyable. Right? Like, I've seen parents like this actually freaks me out. Parents on their phones and when their kids out there off their phone and when their kids on the bench, they look back down at their phone, it's like, like, what are you doing? Like, put the phone away, man. You're in a hockey game. Enjoy the game. Right? And. And believe me, your kid, here's the funny part. Your kid probably looks at you on the bench and goes, oh, they're on their phone. They're not even paying attention. But just try and see a little bit of a broader view. Now, the next point, Mike, that you were tapping into, I think is really important. This is a huge tip. You had just talked about how it's week four and the season's over. It's like we completely forget the developmental nature of youth hockey. This is a huge tip. One of the reasons that I'm so calm is because I'm not so much looking at the team today as the be all, end all. As a coach, I'm looking at how much can I and the coaching staff progress this team over the season. So, for example, my kid had a game last weekend. They got killed by one team. There's a tournament they wanted. The teams killed them. I was excited because from my point of view, it's like, oh, man, we can develop them to compete with that team. I'm taking that macro view of you're supposed to develop throughout the season if you had a bad start. To me, it's somewhat of an opportunity through team building or practices to make that team better and to kind of break down the team and say, okay, what are the skill sets we need to work on? What are the drills that we need to work on, and how can we prioritize? This is something that's important, too, for parents and coaches. How do we prioritize what we need to work on? Now, as parents, you're probably not privy to those conversations, but coaches, we got to look at this as a six month process, right? If you're great in week one and you don't have much room for growth, I mean, that's not really, that's. You're probably a level below where you should be, right? You want to have that growth. You want to have it. So my second tip is learn how to take a macro view. We should never look at it as one game or one weekend is the whole season. And I mean that even with the championships at tournaments at the end of the season, your season is not based on whether they win or lose the last game. Your season should be based on development. So hopefully, you're in a situation where your kid is going to develop throughout the season, but you, in addition to not just watching your own kid all the time, the macro view, where can we grow from here? How can we be better from here? That is one of the reasons I appear to be so calm at a game, because I look, I want to win the game. And when it's a. When it's a close, you know, two. Two game, I have a lot of fun with that. But if we lose, it's not the end of my life, it's not the end of my year. It's not the end of my anything. It's just, oh, we didn't win that game. Right. Um, you know, that'll probably lead into a tip later of, like, how serious is all of this? But, Mike, I'll throw it back to you for that. On just taking the macro view on the season as a developmental opportunity for your kids as both a hockey player and a person. 

Mike Bonelli [8:02 - 10:17]: Yeah. It's the reason I love some parents that just don't even know anything about what's going on. Like, I just love the fact that they're so naive as far as what is really happening out there. Like, I don't even know really what is he supposed to be doing? Or, like, when grandparents come to games, I love that. Like, I love watching the grandparents that know nothing, they get it. Just watching, like, oh, isn't he great? Look at him over there. He's drinking his water bottle. His uniform looks great. And wow. You know, he wears that neck guard so well. I think it's just, I think it's a, I think it's so refreshing when people just want to go out and, you know, we use the comment all the time. Right? Just, just, I love to watch you play, and if you could get into that mentality. I just like watching you play, bud. Or like, I like watching the team play. I like watching. But I think what happens is, like, for somebody like me, it does come across as I don't care. And it comes across as I'm just not competitive. I'm like, well, I said I'm pretty competitive, and I care, and I do care, but I don't care about today. Like, I don't care about this one snapshot in the day. And I think it's like, it's like anything else. It really, it's like every. I don't know why. I don't know why sports puts us in a whole different frame of mind than other things that happen in life. It's a great question. If your kids don't eat peas at three, you're not freaking out that they're never like, you're not like, oh, my God, it's over. They're never going to eat vegetables. I got to find a way. And then all of a sudden, they're eating them. And we don't have a big party for it. And we don't post on Facebook that my kids eat the peas now. They just do it. They tend to like, oh, I like it. Most people don't like, yeah, well, yeah, maybe. Yeah, I guess. I know I gotta, I gotta get more Facebook friends, but I think it's just, it's just, to me, it's those situations where it's not that. No, it's not that. The parents that are sitting back don't care. Right. And they're not all worked up. It's just that it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things. When you look at the totality of a season and the totality of the season, winning the championship game at the end of the year is not the totality season either. I would laugh and go, do you guys remember when everybody wanted to hang me in September? 

Lee MJ Elias [10:17 - 10:21]: Like, you forget the wheels were falling off, Mike, the wheels were falling off, wanted to leave. 

Mike Bonelli [10:22 - 11:00]: Like, none of you, none of everybody befriended me and whatever, wouldn't talk to me, and now you're all, everybody's like, hey, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened. Look what we've done. I mean, we really didn't do anything. We just. We ended up playing a team that wasn't as good and we won. Like, I look at things differently from my perspective, but overall, it's just about the presence of mind to understand on any given weekend, on any given hour, on any given shift doesn't define who your team or your player is. And, yeah, and again, unless you're a goalie parent, it, then it does define you because you're crazy, because you lose your mind. 

Lee MJ Elias [11:00 - 11:02]: Well, I'll talk about the hockey goalie. 

Mike Bonelli [11:02 - 11:12]: Everyone. Because everyone else, everyone else, again, wherever. You know, you mentioned that nobody else is watching anybody else's kid, but you're. You're only watching your kid if you're a co. If you're a goalie parent, everyone's watching your kid. 

Lee MJ Elias [11:12 - 14:39]: Well, I am a goalie parent, and like I said, I will talk about the hockey dad, a goalie dads and moms in a minute because I've had a funny experience with that over the weekend. But, Mike, to your point, you know, I'm going to make kind of a sobering statement here that's a little. Little dark, but. But follow me here because I think this gives massive perspective. The highs and lows of your life are just moments like, so if you've experienced a championship, whether you're playing or your favorite pro team has won a championship, or. And follow me here, my friends, if you've lost a loved one or a pet, the moment of the win or the loss is just a moment. And some of these moments are really tough. But the thing is this, you cannot submit a season on one game any more than you can summate someone's life on the last day of their life, it would be a massive disrespect if you lost a loved one or a pet to only let the last moments of their life define them, that there's no way you can do that. So again, this is a very, like, I just made it very serious. I apologize. But parents, as the tip, the season works. There's no moment in the season that is that defining. It's. It's how you do it as a whole. Now, there may be great and tough moments, all right? But. But that's not the whole season. And I think that that's part of the tip here is you really got to put this stuff in perspective because you can get lost in a game. You can get lost in a game and a kid making a mistake or another kid making a mistake. And again, if you don't stop that thinking, it can become really dangerous. All right, I'm going to say it again as a tip for lowering your anxiety. Mike just said this, and I'm going to. This is, I'm going to go into the next tip here, right, about wanting to win and being competitive. Look, I'm extremely competitive. Extremely. Mike is, too. But we're also pretty kind individuals, and one of the things I tell people, and I've been underestimated on this in the past to a lot of people's detriment. Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. You can be very, very kind and very, very competitive. And I think that someone who's not kind or too serious, that does not make you more competitive than me. All right? It's a major misconception. So when you come with that rah rah, gotta win at all cost attitude, um, if it's delivered the wrong way, it can really be a detriment. And here's the thing. If you're a parent in the stands, I don't know if that's what the team needs. I'm I'm. I'm getting. I'm being honest with you. Your. Your kid needs what Mike said. I love watching you play hockey. I love the way you compete. I love you. No matter what happens, you're creating a safe environment for your kid, but also a safe environment for yourself. All right, again, not bragging here, but I take a lot of pride that when my son has a good or bad game, there's no difference in the car ride home of how we're going to interact. Now, usually, we won't talk about the game, but it's. I'm glad to see you, dad. That's what I want after each game. Right. Your stress levels. And I'm not just talking about enjoying the game, that your stress levels can project. We have to, Mike, as coaches, we got to know that on the bench, if we get stressed out on the bench, the team's going to be stressed. There's no doubt about it. Right. So you got to mind kind of your own emotions. I think that's the tip here, Mike, is you got to be aware of, are you experiencing anxiety, anger, whatever the thought is, and then you got to kind of compartmentalize those feelings. 

Mike Bonelli [14:39 - 16:18]: Yeah. We're not talking about coaches today, but the parent. And how do you stay sane, I guess, and a lot of it, too, is if you're an influential parent. If you're the parent, people, you know that people look up to you and you know that people, like, value your opinion and value your. Your knowledge of the game. Like, if you're that parent, it's even more important not to be a psychopath. Like, it's just, it's so important that you don't project your frustration on the other kids. And then let. I say this every year to every parent and every meeting I've ever had is your personal success, is our team success, but our team not having success will not allow your kid to have success. Like, it's just they go hand in hand. And if you don't get that as an influential parent, the parent of the superstar, the parent of the kid that never does anything wrong, the one that's leading the team, the one that's carrying the load, you need to help have a great projection and not lose your mind. Because just as the coach will lose his team and lose the respective officials and lose the respect of the other bench, your attitude on the other side of the glass will diminish how well your team can be and perform. And the blame game that starts and you can really, really influence. What's that saying? Like what? What? With great power comes great responsibility. You are that parent. If you're going to be losing your mind and showing outwardly how upset you are in a situation of somebody else's kid playing, you're hurting your own kid. That's the bottom line. 

Lee MJ Elias [16:18 - 19:20]: How about a great example of that? I have seen parents that have hand signals with their kids, and here's the deal. A lot of the time, the attitude with that is, oh, no, no, I'm not, I'm not. This is just like a work hard thing and get going kind of thing. It's not. I'm not trying to hurt the team. I'm not telling them what tactics to play. Most likely, you're hurting the team. And I'll tell you why. Because what you're doing is trumping the coaching staff and your kid's going to be looking to you and only you, for instruction, or your instruction will, will trump the coaches instruction. Now, look, I'm not talking about the moment you have with your kid where you kind of do the wheel signaling, hey, let's get going. Let's get going. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about parents telling their kids specifically what to do on the ice right when their kids are playing. Not good. All right. It's not good. I mean, we saw stories years ago of parents doing that, and it's, oh, they have this great sign language, and I'm like, this is crazy. Like, what's the coach gonna do? You can't do anything right and then you get people talking. But like you said, mike, it is a collaborative effort. You know, the parents that are watching you, veterans, you need to lead the way. Here's a funny way of looking at this. Most of you have a professional team out there that you watch. Whatever sport you think of, you're most likely not watching one player on every snap, every shift, every at bat. Right? You're watching the whole game. And I think that it's like, again, when you have your kid out there. Yeah, little different. I do get that. Try and bring that mentality. Enjoy the game. Look at the whole ice. Try and enjoy the game. If you're only focused on one thing, if you hype, look, here's the other thing, Mike. Sorry, I'm going all over the place. If you hyper focus on your kit, you're going to find 100 mistakes a game, because the whole game is built on capitalizing on other people's mistakes. Right. When I watch kids or I'm scouting kids, I'm not looking for every mistake. I'm looking, are they making the same mistake over and over and over and over again? And then at the end of the game, I'll usually have a one or two notes of, these are the two things I want you to work on. That's called coaching. All right? If you go to your kid, you did this, and then the second period, you did this. In the third period, you did this. And this is a good thing. You did this thing. That was great. That goal was great. But then you did this and you did this. Not helping. And again, if you're watching, we're talking about tips to lower your anxiety. If you're watching the game that way, you're going to create anxiety, you're going to make mistakes in a hockey game. The other thing you're creating for your kid and for yourself is you're creating a fear of failure. In the locker room this past weekend, we have a really impressionable team. The kids really listen to coaches. It's really great. But one of the things I had to say to them was, I don't want you playing. Afraid to make a mistake. A lot of you are playing and you're making bad decisions because you're doing exactly what you think we want you to do. Right? And it's like, you gotta be a little creative. It's okay for you to mess up. We'll coach you. We'll coach you up. As a parent, if you only tell them what they're doing wrong, they're gonna be terrified to make mistakes. And again, thus raising your anxiety and theirs. And it's a cyclical pattern. 

Mike Bonelli [19:20 - 19:45]: But that's. That's the art of coaching. Right. Knowing that you have. You can let the kids have the leeway to make mistakes and then not reacting to those mistakes. Like, you got you. It's a fine line because you gotta be willing to lose. You got, you got, you know, the transition from eight u to ten u hockey. Right. That's the offsides conundrum, but you got to be. You got to. You got to be. You got to be willing to allow five or six offsides to happen. 

Lee MJ Elias [19:45 - 19:45]: Yeah. 

Mike Bonelli [19:45 - 20:07]: Without punishing the kid because they will learn. You have to allow for a player to make a mistake and have some. Some gray area in what you're asking for and then allow them to explore making that change. Now, at some point, you got to pull the plug on that. Is this just, just. That's just the way it is. I mean, at some point, you guys. Okay, you're just not getting it. Like, we've got to reset here and we got to reevaluate this. 

Lee MJ Elias [20:07 - 20:07]: Absolutely. 

Mike Bonelli [20:07 - 20:29]: But if you're going to. If you're going to tell players to trust you and that you want to make mistakes and we want you to play fearless, then you've got to present the fearless coaching staff and allow that. And if you're a parent that says, I just want you to have fun out there, and then you don't allow the player to have fun because just. Yeah, but you're embarrassing me by having fun. Like, you're. Your fun is embarrassing me. 

Lee MJ Elias [20:30 - 20:32]: It's. Yeah, you can't be a hypocrite with it. 

Mike Bonelli [20:32 - 20:40]: Yeah, you can't. Like, you can't be the goalie parent that allows the kid to do the break dancing between whistles. Right. Then the music and then say, you got to get more serious. I want you to have fun. 

Lee MJ Elias [20:41 - 20:42]: You got it. 

Mike Bonelli [20:42 - 21:10]: You got, you. You got to be serious, and you got to be in tune. Like, I'm. Like, I am in tune. Like, I'm having fun and I'm definitely in tune. So it's just. There's. There's the. There's the weight. And again, I guess on this point, don't you, as parent a, you can't look at parent b and say they're doing what they're doing with their kid. Wrong, because you don't know the relationship with their kid. And they might have a very laughing, funny, laissez faire fair attitude. 

Lee MJ Elias [21:10 - 21:11]: You got it. Lazy fair. 

Mike Bonelli [21:11 - 21:21]: But, but they're serious. Like, there's a. How many pro player parents have we had on that were the funnest people you've ever. 

Lee MJ Elias [21:21 - 21:22]: Really great people. 

Mike Bonelli [21:22 - 21:58]: In the last three years, we've had, like, just like, off the air, they're even funnier. But guess what? They are ultra competitive. They are cutthroat competitive, but they find a way to have. Make sure there's joy and fun and all this other stuff going on in the, in the same atmosphere. But you, you. But we, we expect greatness. We expect competition. You can do both. But don't judge another parent down the other end of the bleachers by what they're doing. Unless they're doing the hand signals and the airplane. 

Lee MJ Elias [21:58 - 28:41]: Look, I'll give you one, too, like, like, as a competitor. Um, this is one for all the parents, like, and I'll tell you what, this applies. This is a good tip here, too. Um, when I was younger, I had the, I have to be ultra serious and ultra angry at my opponent, and I gotta be all these things to compete. And as I got older, I switched that anger and this really, really worked. I mean, I would say I'm even more competitive now. I switched the anger to gratitude. I'm thankful to have an opponent. I'm thankful to be on the ice. I'm thankful for the opportunity to compete. It did not make me any less competitive. It made me more competitive. And I think, as parents, look, if your kids playing youth hockey, you've had some level of success, or you're struggling really hard and you're making it work, have the gratitude for that situation. Any day you get on the ice is a great day. I firmly believe that every time I go to a practice or get off the ice at a practice in a game, anything, I'm thankful for the opportunity to be around the game that I love. We don't bring that enough to the rank, at least not outwardly. I don't see it as much as I'd like to see it. Um, the other thing, too, Mike, and again, you can bring up some really good points here. Um, is that you gotta let your kid have fun. Um, there's a time and a place, right? Like, we just had a conversation with a young man. We were losing a game. We scored. He did a huge celebration. We said, yeah, it's not the right time. To. To do the bow and arrow thing when you're down by four goals, right? That's. That's not correct. But when we're up, you can do that. Or, or when it's close, you adversely. You would not do that when you're up by four or five goals. It's incorrect. Um, look, I'll get a switch one, because we only have a few minutes left. Gotta talk about the goalies, right? I'm a goalie, dad. Um, my wife is a goalie mom, and my son is a pretty fun kid to watch. So follow me here. He does the moonwalk to the net at the start of each period, and it's. It's actually pretty good. He puts his head down. He puts. It looks like. He actually looks like he's holding his hat. He likes to dance sometimes. Keep money's ten between shifts. He's having a good time. And I've seen him over the last year really click into, okay, the pucks dropped. I gotta be serious now. He doesn't. He's figured out the right time and the wrong time to do this. I don't want to tell him, hey, don't do that. Be serious. Right? And I don't want the parents telling me to tell him to be more serious. That's what he needs to compete right now, and I'm not going to get in his way of that. Now, with that said, and I got a preface as I talked to my wife this morning about this, and she said, this is okay. My wife is struggling a bit because every time there is a shot or anything comes close to the net, you see her tense up and she just, you know, it's out there, it's free, and pucks up. Like, she freaks out, admittedly. She says this, and she turned to me last game. She's like, how are you so calm? How are you so calm with this? And I said, because the puck's gonna go in the net, right? He's gonna get scored on. He's gonna have situations where he doesn't make the save. And you might want to chalk that up to my 30 plus experiences of playing, but I'm also not judging the success, and I'm not saying that she is on how many saves or how many goals go in the net. I just know that's an outcome of the game. And the thing is, this is not just goalie logic. Every kid on the ice is going to make mistakes. Every kid on the ice is going to make good decisions and bad decisions. And like I said, we talked about the macro of the game and the tip of the game. The pucks gonna go in the net. And what I look at is not the puck. And this is a goalie mentality, too. We've had a lot of goalies on. It's not so much, oh, it's in the net worth. It's the end of the world. It's okay. It went in. What can we improve on there? What happened there? What can we learn from there? And the thing is having that mentality, Mike, and again, I'm not trying to pat myself on the shoulder. I was taught this from other goalies. Having that mentality of not it being in the net is the end of the world. But let's learn from this. Every time he's picked up on that, and I've said it, we have this kind of ten second rule of 3 seconds to feel whatever you want to feel whatever you want to feel. 3 seconds to kind of analyze what happened, 3 seconds to get your mindset, and then on second ten, the puck drops again, or you're back in set. And it's fascinating to watch him do it because you can see him doing it. Right. There's no judgment there. Again, I was taught that. I'm not projecting this to our audience, like, this is my idea, but it's a tip. How you respond to what happens to you is infinitely more important than what happens to you. So one of the great stress relievers for me, Mike, is to have that mentality, really, with every kid. It's not just my kid, right, of. Okay, that's something that happens in hockey. How are we going to respond from that? How are we going to learn from that, man? Does that lower the anxiety? Okay, there's also, like, kind of getting into the final tip, too. I'll let you talk about this, too. Like, ego plays into this as well, right? It's not abnormal for parents to be worried about what other parents are thinking. It happens, right. Or if your kid slashes a kid across the arm, you get embarrassed. Right? But I think you also got to remember, and this is part of that tip, right? Hey, Mandev, we're all in this together, all right? We're a hockey family. Throughout the season, you know, you're all yelling at your kids as much as the other families are. You're all having problems at bedtime. You're all having problems getting the screens away from your kid. You all deal with school. You're all dealing with the same rap. I almost said another word there. I didn't want it to censor ourselves today. Okay? And I think that the older you get, the more you realize. Yep. No. Hey, Johnny, it's having a bad day today. We've been through this. Most likely. No one's judging you too much, all right? Just remember that you're a hockey collective. You're a family. You all go through this crap together. All right? And you can learn together, too. So again, Mike, I'm going to give you some time here, too. Just the tips so far, obviously. Remember, be a little more in touch with your emotions and make sure that you're in touch with. Am I only watching my kid? The next tip is to take a macro view of the season. Okay? You can enjoy a game while having a macro view of the season. It's not the end of the world. Some parents are way better than that than others. But you got to remember that if you're having a lot of anxiety. All right, tip three is to make sure you remember that the development is important. That's a little bit along the lines of the macro, but how you respond and how you learn, that's the lesson you want to be teaching your kid. Remember, above all, hockey is a vehicle for your kid's growth as a human being. That is the ROI on the game you're learning. Life lessons that will apply to life. Doesn't matter if you are an NHL Stanley cup champion hall of Famer or if you never play past high school. The lessons you're learning are going to apply to your life in some way. You got to remember that little fact in your head if you want to lower anxiety. Mike, I'm tossing it to you. We have three minutes. Go for Mike. 

Mike Bonelli [28:43 - 30:42]: Yeah. No, this is the reason why we have our kids play hockey. It's. It's to allow all of us to learn as. As a community and to have a bond. There is. The bond is we don't talk about golf, really today and football. We're talking about hockey players and ice cold ranks and long nights and long drives and kids with crazy coaches and crazy teammates and crazy parents and embracing that craziness and understanding that it's all just part of what we're all doing all the time. And I think the input from this audience, the output from us, the ability for us to have a platform to discuss these things. And sometimes this is in real time, right? You're talking and I'm going, oh, my God, like, I just did that. Like, I cannot, but I gotta really change what the hell I'm doing or. Or that. That is a reminder to me. And I'm hoping that, you know, the feedback I get is when people listen to us, they say, wow, that was a great point. Or, oh, that was a bunch of B's. Or, hey, that was, that's something that I need to think about. And I think I can now approach another parent with because all of us are in the same boat. We're, we're all in the same ranks every single weekend. And I, and I, and I swear to God, we could put together like just a, a, you know, a note sheet for the weekend. Say, this is what I joke around a lot of my parents, that I do have a crystal ball for hockey. I am, I am, I am Cernak. I just know that I know what's going to happen. Tell me the scenario, tell me who you're playing. Tell me where you're playing and I will let you know that there will be a parent getting kicked out of the game. I'll let you know that the coach will lose his mind. I'll let you know that. You'll probably go through two or three goalies. I let you know just because after 35, 40 years of doing this, there are tendencies that happen, good or bad, they just do. But we can learn from each other and then embrace this chaos and say, well, how do we just make it better? And if we can't make it better for everyone, how do I just make it better for me? And if you can do that and you can nick away at these little things that, you know, you're not crazy. The hockey world's crazy, right? 

Lee MJ Elias [30:42 - 30:43]: You're not crazy. 

Mike Bonelli [30:43 - 31:15]: Yeah. And you don't have to lose your mind. You just have to understand that you are losing. You are going to lose your mind because you're a parent and you're watching your child and just how you then, and I don't deal with it great either. I mean, I have many times where I'm like, oh, boy, I really, really wish I had to do over there, but now I can go back and say, okay, where did I go wrong? What I do wrong as a coach there? Why did I, why did I talk to that player the way I talked to them? And how could I make sure I don't do that again to the next player? And that's just, that's why we hopefully, that's why we all play sport. 

Lee MJ Elias [31:15 - 33:44]: Yeah. Look, you live and you learn. We've all heard that. And, you know, Mike, I think one of my favorite things that we hear from people that listen to the show is that, you know, I never thought of that before. And that's the point, right? Like, the reason that we love this show is because of what you just said. Everything that's happened in the game has most likely been experienced by somebody. But we don't. We don't do a great job of communicating that with each other as a hockey collective, if you will. And I think that we, we do that as an audience, as hosts. We're just sharing what we've learned. I the most, and you and Christie know this. I have benefited from this show the most because I have the youngest kids, and I have learned so much from you and Christy about what to do, what not to do. And you talk about a crystal ball. You have told me you're going to experience this situation and this is what it's going to feel like. And then it happens. And I'm like, man, I was prepared for this. Even though I still feel that anxiety sometimes. I was prepared because Mike told me this was going to happen. All right. I remember I was not going to tell my kids first shift. I was not prepared for what happened there, but I kind of was because I was like, oh, my God, it's happening to me. But that's why we do it. Did we miss anything? You have other tips that we didn't talk about? Email us, team, at our kidsplay hockey.com. remember I said it before. This is a collective. While we do appreciate having that expert title for you as an audience, it gets better when everybody chimes in. So make sure you share your tips and the things that you want to do either again at team at our kidsplay hockey.com or on our facebook group our kids play hockey and also accompanying all episodes. Now, Mike, I don't even know if you know about this. There will be a link that you can click and actually text us questions, comments, anything you want to kind of get involved in the episodes. But this was a good one, man. Again, tips. Tips to not go crazy this season. I think I need to end it. Mike, on what you said a minute ago, you're not crazy. The hockey world is crazy, but we're all crazy together in this hockey collective called our kids play hockey. Oh, that was just beautiful. You put a little bow on top of that one. Okay, that's gonna do it, my friends. Have a great week. Have a good time in hockey. Remember to always skate on. We'll see you in the next our kids play hockey. We hope you enjoyed this edition of our kids play hockey. Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network or our website, ourkidsplayhockey.com. also, make sure to check out our children's book when hockey stops@whenhockeystops.com. it's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life. We're very proud of it. But thanks so much for listening to this edition of our kids play hockey, and we'll see you on the next episode.