Raising Confident Hockey Players: Why Mindset Is the Real Game-Changer With Sandy Cohan

If you’ve ever watched your child lose confidence after a mistake — or questioned how much pressure is too much — you’re not alone.

In a standout episode of Our Kids Play Hockey, hosts Lee Elias, Christie Casciano-Burns, and Mike Bonelli sit down with Sandy Cohan, founder of Mental Edge Hockey, to tackle one of the most misunderstood aspects of youth sports: mindset.

Not motivation.
Not toughness.
Not “just wanting it more.”

Mindset.

And according to Sandy, it’s not optional — it’s foundational.

Mindset Isn’t a Bonus Skill — It’s the Foundation

For decades, mental training in hockey has been treated like an add-on. Something you address only when things go wrong.

Sandy challenges that thinking.

“Mindset is the foundation of the building. If the foundation isn’t strong, it doesn’t matter what you stack on top.”

Confidence, focus, emotional control, discipline, and grit aren’t traits kids either have or don’t have. They’re skills that can be taught, trained, and reinforced — just like skating or shooting.

Belief vs. Confidence: A Simple Shift That Changes Everything

One of the most powerful moments in the conversation is Sandy’s explanation of belief versus confidence.

• Confidence is what we see above the surface.

• Belief is what’s built underneath.

No roots? No tree.

When young players chase confidence without building belief — through preparation, effort, and reflection — frustration follows. But when belief is nurtured, confidence becomes the natural outcome.

Why Defining “Success” Matters (Especially for Kids)

Ask a 10-year-old what success means, and you’ll likely hear: winning.

That’s a problem.

Winning is an outcome — not something a player can fully control. Sandy and the hosts emphasize redefining success around effort, focus, and behaviors.

When players know:

• What a “good game” actually looks like

• What they’re trying to improve

• How progress will be measured

…they gain clarity, ownership, and confidence.

Parents: It’s Not About Preventing the Fall

One of the biggest takeaways for parents is this:

The goal isn’t to prevent kids from failing — it’s to teach them how to get back up.

Overprotection and harsh “toughen up” approaches lead to the same outcome: kids who lack resilience.

The answer lives in the middle — support with structure, encouragement with accountability.

And remember:
You’re not raising a highlight reel.
You’re raising a human.

Why the “Why” Matters in Coaching (and Parenting)

Kids crave structure. They want to understand the purpose behind drills, expectations, and feedback.

When coaches and parents explain why:

• Focus improves

• Buy-in increases

• Learning accelerates

This isn’t about adding more pressure — it’s about creating clarity.

The Power of Simple Daily Reminders

Sandy’s 99 Rules books exist for one reason: daily reinforcement.

Short, impactful reminders help athletes and parents reset perspective, especially during tough moments. They’re not meant to overwhelm — they’re meant to ground.

Consistency builds belief.
Belief builds confidence.
Confidence fuels performance — in hockey and in life.

Final Takeaway: Hockey Is the Vehicle

Jerseys come off. Seasons end. Careers move on.

What lasts is character, resilience, and self-belief.

If you want your child to thrive — not just survive — in hockey and beyond, mindset can’t be an afterthought.

It has to be part of the plan.

🎧 Listen to the full episode of Our Kids Play Hockey
📘 Explore Sandy Cohan’s work at Mental Edge Hockey

And remember — the mental side of the game might just be the most important one of all.