The Mental Load of Being a Hockey Parent: Managing Pressure, Guilt & Joy

🧊 The Mental Load of Being a Hockey Parent: Why You’re Not Crazy (The Hockey World Is)

If you’ve ever found yourself gripping your coffee in a cold rink at 6 a.m. thinking, “Why does this feel like so much?” — this episode is for you.

Being a hockey parent isn’t just a commitment; it’s an emotional marathon. Between early mornings, expensive gear, endless travel, and the ups and downs of your child’s performance, it’s easy to lose sight of one crucial truth: this is supposed to be fun.

🏒 The Hidden Mental Game for Parents

As Lee Elias opened the episode, he named what every parent feels but rarely says aloud: there’s a mental load that comes with this sport. It’s not just schedules and carpooling — it’s managing your child’s confidence, nerves, and burnout while keeping your own stress in check.

Christie Casciano-Burns reminded listeners that expectations can break relationships. “It’s okay for them to fail,” she said. “That’s the point of youth sports — to mess up and figure it out.”

💸 Money, Pressure & Perspective

Mike Bonelli pointed out a truth many parents feel quietly guilty about: the financial investment adds pressure. When you’re spending thousands each season, you want to see “returns” — and that mindset can create unnecessary anxiety.

Lee built on that idea, urging parents to shift their focus: “Don’t judge success by points or wins. Judge it by behavior. Effort. Character.”

❤️ Letting Family Come First

A standout moment came when Lee shared that he skipped a practice so his son could spend time with his visiting grandmother. “There’s no game more important than family,” he said — a sentiment Christie echoed with emotion as she spoke about her late husband, who always chose family over hockey.

Christie’s perspective was a poignant reminder: the time we get with our kids is fleeting. The rinks, road trips, and early mornings? These are the good old days.

🤝 Community, Compassion, and Connection

The trio agreed that the hockey community can — and should — support parents just as much as players. Whether it’s helping a family through illness, sharing rides, or simply checking in with another parent who’s struggling, small gestures make a big difference.

As Mike summed up: “If you want to have a positive environment for your kids, then make one. Be a good person. Be there for others.”

🧭 Final Whistle: What to Remember

• You can’t — and shouldn’t — control every game.

• Focus on effort and attitude, not stats.

• Model emotional balance, even when you don’t feel it.

• Say yes to family, no to guilt.

• Remember: You’re not crazy. The hockey world is.

Youth hockey isn’t just about raising players — it’s about raising people. And sometimes, the best coaching you’ll ever do happens far away from the rink.

🎧 Listen to the full episode of “Our Kids Play Hockey” for more honest, heartwarming conversation about parenting in the hockey world — and why letting go might be the most powerful move you can make.

💬 Join the conversation: team@OurKidsPlayHockey.com
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