Brianna Decker's Olympic Journey and Mental Toughness in Hockey

Lee MJ Elias [0:08 - 0:47]: Hello, hockey friends and families around the world. And welcome back to another episode of our kids play Hockey. This is going to be part two with Brianna Decker. If you haven't heard part one, go back to the last episode of our girls play Hockey. We're going to dive into her life now as an olympian, as someone who has played at the highest levels of hockey, she is a gold medalist. She is a wonderful person. And she's joining us now on this part two edition of our play Hockey. The work begins. Sometimes when you reach the goal, and I think people forget that sometimes. I advise parents that, well, I want to play tier one or I want to do this thing. And I always say, just remember, it's a great goal, but when you get there, the work actually starts. 

Sheri Hudspeth [0:48 - 0:48]: Right? 

Lee MJ Elias [0:48 - 1:44]: Getting there is just the beginning to your point, uh, Brian. And I want. I want to, um, segue that into something else here. I appreciate how humble you are. I really do. But the truth is this, at least from where I'm sitting and from the other hosts here, you're one of the greatest hockey players on the planet, and you have played amongst the most elite groups of hockey players that. That have played. So I have to ask you some questions about that level and where you've been. We talked about separators at the prep school level as being razor sharp at the olympic level, at the world level. I can't imagine how thin the line is between making that team. And then again, we talked about making it and the work beginning. The rents do every day at the national program. Doesn't matter who you are, what are the separators that you have seen amongst the players that you've played with that have made that team? And not just in hockey, but as people as well? 

Brianna Decker [1:44 - 4:05]: Yeah, I mean, the biggest thing is, like, the mental side. And, like, that might sound cliche, but, like, again, like you just said, the line is so fine. Once you get up to that level of play, everyone's skilled, everyone's fast, everyone can shoot the puff. You know, I think for me, it's like the mental side of the game. And I've seen so many players not make our Olympic team simply based on their confidence in the mental side. The one thing, like, for me, and this is going to sound. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it sounds rude in some ways, but I just never gave an f what people thought. Like, I just went out, I played, I had fun. When I practiced, I practiced against my teammates like they were the opponent and, like, I didn't care about hurting feelings and, you know, when I was on the ice, obviously off the ice, I'm a totally different person. But that's. That was like how I was. And I had some teammates like that on the national team, too, that, like, you're gonna go put someone through the wall at practice. Well, it's like, I gotta practice that way to be able to play that way on a Friday night against Team Canada. And so that's kind of. I felt I separated myself because I left emotion out of it from an on ice standpoint. And then off the ice just tried to be, you know, I kind of. I was kind of. I goofed around and had fun. But the difference, I think, and sometimes, like, you know, you have like the Poulain versus, you know, other kids on other players on Team Canada, it's like the difference, I can tell you, is probably how she prepares, and she probably prepares like a professional athlete should. And you have to, you know, it's like, that's why I wasn't. It was time to dial it in. You know, I heard this podcast once about, from LeBron James, and he, you know, people can say whatever they want about him, but he prepares from a 24 hours standpoint. So when he plays at 07:00 on a Friday night, 07:00 on a Thursday night is when he starts to preparation. And it's like, it's so true. And the more you prepare, the more confidence you're going to have because you did everything you could to be ready for that moment. And so preparation and mental side are the biggest separators. I think once you get into that elite pool, when there's not much you can else you can count on. 

Lee MJ Elias [4:05 - 4:27]: So it's also very easy to have an opinion when you're sitting on your couch watching the game about what athletes should be doing. We talk about that a lot. But, you know, I love the answer, first off, so thank you for that. You had started saying this might sound rude, and it's not rude. You know, iron sharpens iron. And I think that we actually need to normalize that approach, not just in hockey. 

Sheri Hudspeth [4:27 - 4:27]: Right. 

Lee MJ Elias [4:27 - 5:06]: We're not just talking about going on the boards and putting someone through the boards. We're talking about at jobs, at school. You want to surround yourself with the people that are going to push you to be the absolute best you can be. And I agree with you about emotion. I always say this, Brianna, that it's important to have feelings. It's nothing wrong with having feelings, but you have to control them so that they don't control you. And again, to the parents listening, this is something you gotta work on with your kids from a young age. So, again, eight to 18, whether they're having an outburst or not, you should say that to them. You know, you have to get these emotions under control. It's not just for hockey. I can't come back to that. Enough. You can't do that in a workplace. You can't go in a workplace and just have your emotions take over. 

Sheri Hudspeth [5:06 - 5:07]: You're gonna get fired. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:07 - 5:26]: All right, so. So I. I love that answer. And, you know, it's funny. Across the board, we do a lot of interviews with, with. And thankfully, and very, very. With a lot of gratitude, a lot of Olympians, a lot of professional athletes. And you hear this across the board, we push each other harder than anyone else can. The greatest opponent is my teammate. 

Sheri Hudspeth [5:26 - 5:27]: Right. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:27 - 5:35]: That is a humongous separator amongst the. The world class and maybe just elite class. 

Sheri Hudspeth [5:35 - 5:36]: Right. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:36 - 5:46]: And these skill sets. Brian, I'm going to throw this back to you. It didn't start when you made the Olympic team. It wasn't like, okay, I'm on Team USA. I've got to work hard now. It started when. 

Sheri Hudspeth [5:46 - 5:46]: Right. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:46 - 5:48]: Probably at a young age. 

Brianna Decker [5:48 - 6:49]: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, super young age. And, like, I just, like. I remember it was. We had a camp for USA hockey, tryout camp. And I was. At this point, I was more of a leader on, like, in the program, so I was a little older, not at my oldest stage, but I was like, I think it was probably right before 2018 Olympics, but we had a tryout camp, and I'm in locker room, and I'm like, hey, guys, like, our job tonight is to, like, make it miserable for the other girls that we're playing against. And I even said, I was like, I want to make every kid and that every player on that other team look crappy tonight. I said shit instead, but I was like, I want to make them look crappy tonight. And someone was like, well, that's like. That's kind of rude. And I'm like, if you don't have that mentality, then good luck making the team. It's like, I had that mentality, but that's what I. That was what I thought about in order to go out there and not care that they have a us jersey on, because it's camp. But just think about it as, like, that's the. That's the opponent. That's who I'm supposed to be tonight. 

Lee MJ Elias [6:49 - 6:55]: And so isn't that a sign of respect? Like, again, I think we try to cut you off, we jumble this kind of in our heads. 

Sheri Hudspeth [6:55 - 6:56]: Right. 

Lee MJ Elias [6:56 - 6:59]: The ultimate respect you can give someone is giving them everything you have. 

Brianna Decker [7:00 - 7:00]: Yeah. Right. 

Lee MJ Elias [7:00 - 7:14]: So it's not disrespectful if you're going out there and giving everything you have. Right. Again, this is some of the social things I'm trying to just twist a little bit. And again, I apologize for stopping in mid sentence there. It's just, to me, that's. I want that. I want that respect that you're going to give me everything you got. 

Brianna Decker [7:14 - 7:32]: Yeah. Our head coach, the guy I coached with here, gordy Saferty, coached with, he coached me here at Shattuck, and now we coach together. And he says it every year. Like, competition is like the most sincere form of friendship. So when someone is seriously playing hard against you, it's because they love you and they want you to get better and they want to get better and. 

Sheri Hudspeth [7:32 - 7:32]: Right. 

Brianna Decker [7:32 - 7:42]: So you just gotta, you know, I mean, and he for sure said that to our group when we were here, but I was a, you know, high school student, not probably listening like I should have. 

Lee MJ Elias [7:42 - 8:01]: So, yeah, no, it's a great answer, and I really appreciate you diving into this. And another question, and this is one of those ones you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Um, luckily for us, we've got to see a lot of your success over the years, um, at every level that you played. But successes don't come without. Without failures. 

Sheri Hudspeth [8:01 - 8:01]: Right. 

Lee MJ Elias [8:01 - 8:11]: And I'm wondering if you would touch into any. Any, you know, challenging times in your career that have. Have sharpened the iron that you have become, um, to help you become a better athlete. 

Brianna Decker [8:11 - 9:37]: Yeah, I mean, I think there's. There's individual stuff as far as, like, injuries and, um, things like that, that you got to manage and go through. You know, my second career game at Wisconsin, I broke my arm and elbow, and it's like you're at a new place. You expect to go and hopefully make a difference. And so I think, you know, that was, you know, I managed that probably the most inappropriate way as a college athlete who got hurt. But then you learn from that and how to take care of your body and how to, you know, prepare and get back. But from a failure standpoint, honestly, you know, Megan Bozek, obviously, Sherry's on here, but it's like she can allude to this more than anybody. It's like losing a gold medal at the Olympics is probably one of the biggest failure feelings that you can feel. And after the 2014 Olympics, like, as a team you have to manage and how to go through that and what to do to come back. And the biggest thing that we did between 14 and 18 was, yeah, one dialing in on the mental side of things. But I. It was self reflection. And how are we going to change as a team, and how are you going to change as an individual to get a different result? And so when you're. When you fail at something, failure teaches you something more than winning does, and it sticks with you longer than a win does. So, you know, how are you going to change as an athlete? And if you don't change, then you're probably going to get a similar result from the year, you know, from that year, that situation. 

Lee MJ Elias [9:38 - 9:42]: Yeah, well, we were all watching the next one and pretty good about that one. 

Mike Bonelli [9:42 - 10:19]: Can I just ask you one thing that maybe. It maybe be great for some of our younger athletes to hear that is a long journey between learning a lesson in loss and motivating yourself for win. Right. And I think, like, is it is it is, are. There's just too many athletes. That's like, the day after is like, oh, we're. We're going to change it. We're going to work hard. We're going to, you know, the. The prep school team that loses the state championship, the high school team that loses and they're supposed to win, and then the next year, like, can you just talk about, like, how hard that is and maybe some of the strategies you and your teammates used to continue to keep that. That goal up there and ahead of. 

Lee MJ Elias [10:19 - 10:26]: You and not four years at a time. Yeah, I know there's world championships in between, but it's a four year journey between Olympics. 

Brianna Decker [10:27 - 12:04]: Yeah, and, like, that is, like, that is why it's so devastating. Like, you lose, you're like, holy crap, like, I gotta go through another four years before I'm in this moment. Hopefully you make that moment. I mean, like, the hiccups happen. Like, teams, you know, teams and goalies stand on their heads to, like, you know, eliminate some of, you know, us or Canada, and they've done it at world championships. And so, honestly, it's like, you got to break it down from one week at a time, one day at a time, is it seems like, holy crap, that's a lot. I mean, I don't want to do the math here, but that's a long time. But I would, you know, balancing when you need to take time off again, self reflection for number one, and then balancing when to take time off so your body doesn't get worn out with that four year stretch from a mental and physical standpoint. But then also, yeah, one week at a time of like, where do I want to be in one week? Where do I want to be in one month, one year, four years? And like, you just really have to break all that down. And what helps in these situations is your teammates, because they're almost, we're all in the same boat. And then at that, I mean, from 14 to 18 was ridiculous. Just because the pro leagues are all messed up. We have this league this year and then we don't have a league, and then now we do. And there was just all of that whole big concept of like, what do we do, what's best for us? You know, I think that's where you do got to do what's best for you and train and put yourself in a training environment. Again, that's you're surrounded by people that are better than you. But then also, if you are in an environment where you can't help yourself, but you are one of the better ones, what are you doing to separate yourself so people can't catch you? 

Lee MJ Elias [12:04 - 13:36]: You know, Brianna, I shared a video this morning of they dropped hundreds of golf balls off the top of a ski slope and there's a hole at the bottom and none of them go in the hole. And then they show the golfer getting a hole in one and they talk about all the practice. So goals without thought are just goals, right? Or dreams, if you will. It's when you put the thought in and as you said, find those little things along the way. That's how you get the golf ball in the hole. Except on a team aspect, you need all the people doing that all the time. You also said it that from 14 to 18 is an interesting time period in women's hockey. You said that the pro leagues were in disarray. A lot of question marks fast forward till today. We're in an amazing time for women's sports across the board. Uh, whether it be basketball, hockey, women's rugby. Um, something has changed in the last, we'll say twelve months, uh, for the better. And, and not just in terms of the popularity, but the acceptance across the board from at least american sports fans. Uh, the road to that was paved by people like you, Kramer, Granado. There's not enough names I could mention here, um, of the women who push the sport to where it's at. But we're here now and it seems like it's not going to go away. I would just love your thoughts on a. What that's like, for you, being in your position, seeing professional women's hockey on a massive scale and then b how that's going to change the world for the eight year old girl now who's growing up saying I could play pro hockey when I want, when I get older, right? 

Brianna Decker [13:36 - 14:02]: Yeah. I mean, I think that's the, that's the most incredible thing. It's like I'm here coaching these high school kids and they're like, I'm like, what do you like, where do you want to, like, you know, do you want to play college? She goes, yeah, yeah, coach, I want to play college. And then I hopefully can go play pro. And I'm like, that's awesome. Like, I never said that when I was at this age. And so for having these young kids have that, you know, goal to go play professional hockey and it's realistic and it's a sustain. It looks like it's going to be a sustainable league that's going to last. Like, that's incredible. 

Lee MJ Elias [14:02 - 14:03]: And expand. 

Brianna Decker [14:03 - 14:48]: Yeah, yeah, and expand. Yeah, exactly. And so I think for me in my position, I think, you know, it was awesome to be a part of that growth period and figure out what's best and what's going to work best for women's hockey. But the visibility aspect of things is what has been so huge across women's sports. Like you mentioned with, you know, with rugby and, you know, basketball and now in women's hockey, I mean, it's awesome. We will go to these games and see all these fans that are there and it's not, it's not just young little kids who are going or it's not just, you know, female viewers. There are guys and there are boys who are like, this is awesome and have respect for the game. And I think that's what's really important and that's how our sports can continue to grow is right. You know, getting some of that respect from the male side of things is, you know, important. 

Lee MJ Elias [14:48 - 15:37]: So, yeah, it's really cool to be at home with my family and put on the hockey game, if you know what I mean. It could be NHL, it could be dB, WHL, it could be women's basketball. But we just put the game on and we all watch it and we don't, we don't separate it, if you will, by the type of hockey. It's hockey. Hockey is hockey. This has been a wonderful week of Breanna Decker. We hope you go back and listen to the ride to the rink that we've done with her. Also, the our girls play hockey we did with her about prep school hockey. And we want to congratulate her from the entire show here once again for being inducted into the USA Hockey hall of Fame. It is an incredible honor and something that she has absolutely earned. So for Leah liah, Sherry Hudspeth, Mike Benelli and Brianna Decker, we'll see on the next episode of our kids play hockey. Thanks so much for listening, everybody. Have a great week. Have a great time in hockey. And always remember, skate on.