Sept. 2, 2023

Cultivating a Competitive Culture in Youth Hockey

Ever wonder how to keep the fun and competitive spirit alive in youth hockey? This week we draw on our experiences to discuss the art of fostering a vibrant, competitive culture among young players. We share practical strategies for coaches and parents alike, on how to manage the emotions that come with competition, and how to start the season off in a manner that keeps the game exciting and engaging for the players.

We reveal the secrets of nurturing a competitive culture within a team, from setting high standards to creating opportunities for players to challenge each other. Discover the power of small area games, setting game rules and, above all, the critical role of a coach in shaping a team's competitiveness. We also examine how to teach players to compete effectively, ensuring they are battle-ready when the season commences.

Losing streaks can be demoralizing, but we dive into strategies for overcoming these setbacks. We highlight how to build confidence and unity within the team, and how to keep players engaged. Moreover, we discuss ideas for creating creative competitions in practice and recreating game scenarios with high stakes to help develop mental skills. Finally, we reflect on the essence of long-term development in competitive sports, stressing the importance of establishing a competitive culture early on, and how to make competition enjoyable, even in the face of losses. Listen in as we break down these concepts and much more!

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00:51 - Keeping Competition and Fun in Hockey

11:15 - Fostering Competitiveness in Teams

23:01 - Strategies for Overcoming Losing Streaks

29:52 - Building Competitive Skills in Youth Sports

37:53 - Long-Term Development in Competitive Sports

WEBVTT

00:00:07.149 --> 00:00:13.826
Hey everybody, seasons here, so today we're talking about how to keep the competition in the game and make it fun.

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We talk a lot about hockey has to be fun and it does, but we go through this episode how to make it competitive and how to make it fun at the start of the season so that you have some of these skillsets throughout the year.

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So Mike Bonnelli and I have a great conversation today and give some actionable items that you can add into your practices or conversations you can have with your kids about how to turn that competition or competitive level competitive, competitive.

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That can't say this, how to turn the competitiveness level up.

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I did it.

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I don't know if we're going to keep that, but it's in there now.

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So if you're looking to turn your mental competitiveness up this year, head over to game seven, groupcom.

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It's spelled out all three words and take a look and you can download our free team building brochure that we put on there.

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It's a little ebook that has multiple drills for your team for the season.

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Or if you're looking to go a little bit further into something virtual or in person, you can see all of our options there on how to do some team building exercises or culture building exercises within your team, which is becoming really a mainstay in any successful organization at this point.

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So again, that's game seven groupcom.

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Download the free book with all of the drills that I use with all the kids that I coach, absolutely free.

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Just give up an email.

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Don't worry, I'm not going to email you every single day If you want to those people in your inbox.

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That's annoying, but this podcast may be.

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So enjoy our kids play hockey with me and Mike Bernalino going over how to keep your teams competitive throughout the entire season.

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Hello hockey friends and families around the world, and welcome to another edition of our kids play hockey.

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I'm going to start this one with a little bit of a story.

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I remember that last year you know it's always preaching fun, mike, and I always preaching fun, christie, mike and I are always preaching that hockey has to be fun.

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And a parent came up to me who listens to the show and kind of correctly said to me but what about the competition?

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They got to be competitive, they have to learn how to compete.

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And I remember I had a little bit of a malfunction, because to me competition is fun.

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So I understood where she was coming from.

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She was kind of saying like, look, everything can't just be sunshine and rainbows all the time.

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That's kind of how she was taking it, and so we had a really great conversation around.

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Yeah, there's a right and wrong way to introduce competition, being competitive, both as an individual, as a teammate, and then how coaches could introduce being competitive.

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So Mike and I were talking before the episode you're hearing this right before the season starts.

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So today we're going to go over kind of the start of season, how to introduce competition in a fun way for your team.

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And you know, mike, before we even dive into it, I want to say one of the things I think people can forget is kids are naturally competitive, whether they're, you know, type A, type B.

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I was at a showcase with my son yesterday and his team and we had a little bit of like a cookout after one of the games.

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You know we were tailgating and, without any prompting nothing, they started playing wiffle ball and I was listening to them and you know it was a little bit lower to the flies, like it was funny, but they were competing and you know that's a strike.

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Get up, I'm up to bed.

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So, kids, we got to remember this kids will naturally compete if you let them, and a lot of great competitors were made on those sand lots or, in this case, a parking lot.

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So when you introduce competition or being competitive, we all have to remember, as parents, there's already an element of that there.

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It's about cultivating that element, bringing it out of the kids in a way that's not going to create massive anxiety, massive fear.

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Right, and I'm just kind of equating this to the whole show.

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That's the turn, I think, where coaches lose kids right, where, okay, you're competing for just a spot, which is a thing, don't get me wrong but the pride of competing for that spot and understanding that.

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So I want to go over today with the great Mike Bonnelli I left the pause there for effect about or editing, or editing or how to keep it competitive while having fun.

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And Mike, let's start again.

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We're right at the start of the season.

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Let's get your thoughts on this.

00:04:06.085 --> 00:04:09.391
Yeah, okay, we'll just preference it to by by what age are you at?

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Right, because we want to be, you know, we want to.

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I just think I think even at the earliest, you know, the youngest ages, the kids are actually as competitive, but they don't know how to like, they don't know how to control that competitive.

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So, because sometimes it looks like cockiness or it looks like arrogance or it looks like bullying, but sometimes it's not, it's just, it's just listen, we're, if you're blessed to have a competitive child, like a kid that's like, almost like to the point where they're crying if they lose, like that people say, oh, look at this kid, you know what.

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But I, if you really look at those kids, like I, when I see those kids later on in life, I want that kid like I want that kid that's like that can't control their emotions.

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And then you can teach that kid how to control their emotions and hopefully it becomes, you know, manifests itself later on in a different way.

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You know, not slashing a stick over somebody's head, but actually you know, fighting for a spot when you're 18, 19, 20 years old.

00:05:05.230 --> 00:05:08.120
But you could start judging those kids and seeing those kids.

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So if you're a coach, juggling, you know the, the competitiveness, and then educating your parents and talking with your kids that we're, we're, we're in competition against each other.

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This is a sport.

00:05:20.983 --> 00:05:34.769
I mean you have to compete, not to run away from it, but to build on it and to educate through it, and then and then you know, and then we have to understand that we're working with children and you know how to help them navigate.

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You know this, this world, right, we see it in professional athletes all the time.

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Like you're, like people are shocked when they meet somebody they see on the ice, like like I'll just use an example in our area, in New York area like a Jacob Truba who's known for his big hits and is, you know, just vicious hockey.

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You know out there and just not caring at all.

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And then you meet the guy off the ice is like the nicest person in the world and you're like, how do you do that?

00:06:01.266 --> 00:06:03.596
Like how, how can you be this?

00:06:03.596 --> 00:06:12.764
How can you be a warrior, you know, for 60 minutes and be a cutler for the rest and it's.

00:06:12.764 --> 00:06:15.531
But that's where we're getting into right now.

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Right, we're getting into a season that we wanna create a competitive atmosphere but at the same time, learning and teaching that.

00:06:22.827 --> 00:06:32.923
These are there's ebbs and flows of that and there's times to do it and times that you have to tone down and you have to learn how to control it as a coach and a player.

00:06:33.639 --> 00:06:35.326
Mike, you just reminded me with Truva.

00:06:35.326 --> 00:06:39.721
Some of our younger parents won't remember the great Stu Grimson whose nickname?

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was the Grim Reaper because he was so tough on the ice.

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It was definitely an enforcer.

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And I remember towards the end of his career he did this great commercial where he gets a phone call and it's his kid and he's in the locker room.

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He's acted all tough and he has to sing the itsy-bitsy spider in front of the whole locker room and it was a really endearing moment.

00:07:00.127 --> 00:07:06.247
But that commercial ended up really being true for most of the players in the league that off the ice they're different people.

00:07:06.247 --> 00:07:10.764
And you're bringing up a great point, mike, and this is definitely for the coaches and the parents listening.

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In hockey we spend a majority of the time on skill sets, tactics, maybe even some team cohesiveness.

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It is coming to the forefront now that we had spent almost no time on the mental skills of the game.

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Now, with that said, it's out there, people know that, okay, this is becoming important, but it's still the early Wild West days of this and you talked about it.

00:07:31.184 --> 00:07:34.086
Why are we not working on the mental skill sets?

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And one of them is and this is something everyone listening can do helping your kid harness their emotions, helping them harness their impulses.

00:07:43.567 --> 00:07:45.464
So, mike, you made a great point.

00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:50.644
Sometimes you can get a kid who is just so out of control that it's almost you know.

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You might start thinking, man, I don't know how to handle it.

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I don't want this.

00:07:53.526 --> 00:08:08.966
When I see a kid that is really upset about losing and lashing out, as a coach, my job is to harness that emotion and, as you said, if I have a kid that hates to lose, I'll tell him or her hey, I like that, you don't like to lose.

00:08:08.966 --> 00:08:10.382
As a coach, I actually love that.

00:08:10.382 --> 00:08:14.704
You hate to lose, but you're letting the emotion control you instead of you controlling it.

00:08:14.704 --> 00:08:22.228
That's a really important lesson for a six, seven, eight, nine, 10 year old that you're letting the emotion beat you.

00:08:22.228 --> 00:08:33.846
You need to be in control of that emotion and I'll tell you I mean, amongst the pro athletes that I've met I'm not gonna even limit this to hockey man, they are competitors, they hate to lose.

00:08:34.500 --> 00:08:36.799
Well, you have to teach them, too, how to control those emotions, right?

00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:38.184
It can't be like it's just like anything else.

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You know, lee, you gotta skate faster here, buddy, you gotta skate faster.

00:08:43.085 --> 00:08:45.914
Well, coach, thanks, what would you like me to do?

00:08:45.914 --> 00:08:48.347
Like, I think I'm skating fast, right?

00:08:48.347 --> 00:08:50.145
So, hey, you have to control your emotions.

00:08:50.145 --> 00:08:52.166
Okay, great, but I'm eight.

00:08:52.166 --> 00:08:54.287
So what tools do you want me to do?

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What tools do you want me to do?

00:08:55.801 --> 00:08:57.668
And Bob and Dad can't control their emotions.

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If you see them in the stands, they're out of control, right.

00:09:00.129 --> 00:09:03.904
So there's so much, there's so many, and they're getting near task.

00:09:03.904 --> 00:09:11.506
I mean, let's, we're all just volunteer dads and moms, I mean, we're literally getting out of work and we're being asked to be psychologists, right.

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But there are tools, there are ways to use what's out there, people like yourself and getting you know there's.

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If you're really truly coaching young kids and you wanna get the best out of them and you wanna be a teacher and you wanna be a coach, then you know it's kind of falling on you to learn, you know, how to help harness those behaviors.

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Whether that's fair or not, it just is what it is.

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Or you just have out of control kids and get a miserable season and let it and then quit at the end of the year.

00:09:41.524 --> 00:09:43.346
But I think it's just you know just.

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But again, it's your obligation to learn how to harness those things.

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Can we all do it perfectly?

00:09:48.268 --> 00:09:50.605
No, but I think there's.

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Like I said, if you want that emotion because I want that emotion personally, like I want kids that are emotional, especially if they're a really good player, like skilled player.

00:10:01.379 --> 00:10:12.485
But if they're, you know, if you're trying to build a team around kids that are like-minded, you know emotionally invested kids, then you gotta teach them the tools you know to harness those emotions.

00:10:12.659 --> 00:10:17.986
Well, you know, mike, I'll give you a great example of kind of the opposite of this, and this might be surprising to people.

00:10:17.986 --> 00:10:20.267
So I was coaching a team, a high-level team.

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I have to say that for a reason, because these are adults I was coaching where everyone got along.

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I mean, it was actually a really beautiful locker room.

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It was a wonderful place to be and everyone got along all year.

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Now, if you're listening, that sounds like, oh, okay, well, it must have been a good season.

00:10:35.024 --> 00:10:36.823
It was an okay season.

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The problem was everyone getting along.

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There's nobody pushed each other.

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So, you know, I was at a few practices and guys were not going after rebounds and everyone was just like, oh, you know, it's okay, all right, and I'm like that's, I'm not okay with that.

00:10:48.427 --> 00:10:55.860
And there wasn't that player or players to say, hey, finish the rebound right Now.

00:10:56.101 --> 00:10:59.486
Coming back to competition, there's a lot of ways to describe competition.

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You want that coach or player that's gonna challenge the teammates or the players to get to the extra mile.

00:11:07.225 --> 00:11:12.506
I've talked about it on the show before the Nathan McKinnons, the Sidney Crosby's, the Michael Jordan's, right.

00:11:12.506 --> 00:11:16.570
When you get behind the scenes, you find out how fierce these guys are.

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They don't stop, even with their own teammates.

00:11:18.447 --> 00:11:22.104
But we've said all the time, iron sharpens iron, steel sharpens steel.

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You need that level of competitiveness and emotion and just raw, I wanna compete to succeed.

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So I always found that fun.

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I wanted someone to push me right.

00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:37.407
Now, kind of bringing the show back to you talking now.

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Right, I wanna talk about ways you can implement these within your team, especially at the start of the season.

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Because, again, mike, you and I talked in the pre-show about you know, there's these teams that start 0-1-12 or they start 12-1-0 and then you try and ride that the whole year and it's the skillsets, the mental skillsets haven't been developed because you're riding an emotion, right.

00:11:57.788 --> 00:12:02.989
So when I bring a team and I want your thoughts on this too, mike you almost have to explain it.

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This goes with everything we talk about, with trust, accountability.

00:12:05.682 --> 00:12:07.629
You know these kind of high standards.

00:12:07.629 --> 00:12:13.107
You always wanna explain what high standards are at every level, right, again, a might team is gonna have less of them.

00:12:13.107 --> 00:12:14.263
It might just be two.

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Then a junior team might have 15.

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I mean, it doesn't matter, but you gotta establish them.

00:12:20.120 --> 00:12:30.068
But then you should also describe and establish what is competition and that you want your athletes to challenge each other and that that's gonna be fun.

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And we're gonna put you in situations where it'll be fun to challenge each other throughout the season, whether it is a basic scrimmage or a small area game in the corner or a kind of ridiculous game like dodgeball on the ice.

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We're gonna cultivate competitiveness as a skill.

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This is something every coach can do, right, and you'll know who your competitors are and if you're a great coach, you'll help cultivate that competition in the ones that aren't competitive.

00:12:58.447 --> 00:13:03.067
Right, cause every kid is motivated a little bit differently and I'll call it the Pearl Harbor effect.

00:13:03.067 --> 00:13:09.687
You know, probably not the best term, but the idea is you wanna wake up the sleeping giant sometimes, and sometimes you never know what kid that's gonna be.

00:13:09.687 --> 00:13:13.307
There might be the quiet kid in the corner that's got a lot of rage inside.

00:13:13.307 --> 00:13:22.070
Again, not going deep into that, but my point is, as a coach, as a parent, as a teammate, you can cultivate hey, we wanna be competitive all the time.

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We want our practices to be competitive so that games are easy.

00:13:25.624 --> 00:13:26.799
Right, mike?

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Start of the season.

00:13:27.942 --> 00:13:29.082
This is something to look at, right?

00:13:30.767 --> 00:13:38.368
Yeah, well, listen, it's the reason why the small area game phenomenon has developed over the last 10 years.

00:13:38.368 --> 00:13:51.746
Right, because flow drills and passing drills that end in the corner of the rink or that you're not really going, you're going against a cone and not a player, all these different aspects of teaching.

00:13:51.746 --> 00:13:57.738
If you teach not to compete, then how do you expect a player to compete?

00:13:57.738 --> 00:14:02.855
Right, if you go into the season and you're like man, our kids just don't battle.

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We haven't done a battle drill in 20 weeks, of course they don't battle because they don't know to battle.

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And I think that's but mentally too, just understanding that if you want to, you can create and cultivate a competitive environment.

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And I know the guy I work with, wally Kozak a lot, he's a mentor of mine and Tim Boffrel.

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And they'll say, well, don't use I use the word, I use manipulate a lot in the youth hockey, my youth hockey verbiage, and they'll always correct me like you're influencing, you're not manipulating.

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I say, I say I can yagi them.

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I use the karate ketchum.

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I can manipulate a youth hockey's competitiveness by saying, okay, it's don't forget guys, it's six five, there's only a minute left.

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Like what do you mean?

00:14:48.816 --> 00:14:51.340
It's six five, it's 12, nothing, no, no, it's six five.

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And then I'll just say it's six, five.

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And then, you know, they'll fight a little bit.

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But then they're like, oh my God, it's six five, and they'll, and they'll also, they'll compete and they'll want to, you know, kill each other out there, and I think that's you know.

00:15:00.868 --> 00:15:06.027
So to me, to influence that as a coach is is really how I want to start.

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You know, getting getting out of the gate, because if I want my kids to be competitive and you know I could you can do this in games too.

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If you're, if you're in a season at the beginning right now, and you're blowing teams out and you just decide, well, we're just going to blow teams out without any structure, you know you're beating the teams.

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You can now put in a lot of roadblocks and a lot of things in there to to force the kids to be competitive.

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They won't like.

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You could add, you must pass to the defenseman twice in the zone.

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You could, you could, you could bring in that if a forward.

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You know, if we don't, we cannot, we cannot make a forward pass.

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Or there's all kinds of things you can do to influence and manipulate and Miyagi the situation to form competitiveness.

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Because if you, if you're, if you're in a season right now where you're, you're like, think you're, you think it's actually a benefit to you that you're beating teams by eight or nine goals, then you're, you're losing sight of what your job is as a coach and really where the season should go.

00:16:05.118 --> 00:16:15.967
So, if you're a parent and you're in the car with your son right now, or daughter, like, well, we've just won nine games in a row, we've, we've, we crushed the composition by 10 goals every time, well then you're in the wrong league.

00:16:15.967 --> 00:16:17.393
Then you're playing the wrong kids.

00:16:17.393 --> 00:16:23.914
You're not an elite, you're not, you're not a you're, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not a team that can't be touched.

00:16:24.184 --> 00:16:28.826
But what you need to do, then if that's your situation, coach, you got to find a way to compete.

00:16:28.826 --> 00:16:46.912
Because when we, when you get through these easy times and then all of a sudden you get into a competitive atmosphere and your kids don't know how to compete, or they're like shocked, like what you know, I know, I know you as a coach too, right, sometimes you like as a coach, when you're on a winning streak, to get knocked around a little bit right before you have to play in big games.

00:16:46.912 --> 00:16:49.669
Yeah, it reminds players that you have to compete.

00:16:49.669 --> 00:16:51.264
It's not going to be easy Like.

00:16:51.264 --> 00:16:55.950
Sometimes you're like, oh, thank God we didn't go on that 20 game win streak before that they ended a season tournament.

00:16:55.950 --> 00:16:58.471
Because we did, we're getting knocked out in the first round.

00:16:58.565 --> 00:16:59.730
I mean look at Boston last year.

00:16:59.730 --> 00:17:03.032
I mean any president's winner, right, Any president's winner.

00:17:03.032 --> 00:17:05.777
It's just a death, it's too easy it's too, easy.

00:17:06.645 --> 00:17:07.488
It's not a light switch.

00:17:07.488 --> 00:17:10.368
Competition I I believe this.

00:17:10.368 --> 00:17:11.689
It's not a light switch.

00:17:11.689 --> 00:17:16.855
Even the most competitive people in the world can't, and that's a negative and a positive right.

00:17:16.855 --> 00:17:20.133
The people in the world are are are competitive all the time.

00:17:20.133 --> 00:17:23.490
They're always on Like they're always they're playing chess.

00:17:23.731 --> 00:17:26.366
They're on, they're throwing the chess board across the room, like so.

00:17:26.366 --> 00:18:01.316
Now, whether it's negative or positive, I don't know, that could be another discussion, but so you want to, you want to as a coach, you want to keep it on, you want to keep, even if you, the kids, know, like my lacrosse kids used to hate me because, well, for probably a lot of reasons, but number one was that if we were beating a team, if we were beating a team, I forced them to do things that they were uncomfortable doing, which allowed teams without, without embarrassing the other team, forced them to do things that they were, like I might say okay, all the righties must pass and catch lefty you must.

00:18:01.316 --> 00:18:03.592
Now, it's hard to do that in hockey, but lacrosse you can do it.

00:18:03.592 --> 00:18:05.491
Like you must be on your left side.

00:18:05.491 --> 00:18:09.028
Oh, that's, I can't do it, that's the whole idea.

00:18:09.048 --> 00:18:09.669
That's the point.

00:18:09.710 --> 00:18:13.664
Yeah, and you're not embarrassing the other team, you're just sharpening yourself.

00:18:13.664 --> 00:18:22.123
But you as a coach, can influence, manipulate those situations and you as a parent, if you have a player, that's that much better.

00:18:22.123 --> 00:18:26.539
You should embrace the fact that a coach doesn't want them to score eight goals in a game at will.

00:18:26.539 --> 00:18:28.811
That's going to say, hey, you've got it.

00:18:28.811 --> 00:18:33.996
You've got to help me and make these situations harder for yourself to get better.

00:18:33.996 --> 00:18:42.137
And so that's where I think you know competition and making competitive players and athletes.

00:18:42.137 --> 00:18:45.009
It's, it's, it's.

00:18:45.009 --> 00:18:46.855
It's so many different pronged approach.

00:18:47.505 --> 00:18:57.795
You know you're making me think of a lot of things here, so I want to tell everybody listening again look, everything Mike is saying is true and it's you can add in kind of the age appropriate drill sets for this right.

00:18:57.795 --> 00:19:16.569
One of the things I always find funny, mike, is you know, if I'm, if I'm going to practice for younger kids and I'll just say younger, the younger half of you, thaki, it's sluggish, you know, some coach, I'm like, yeah, I guys are dragging the day and look, sometimes you got to practice at 5pm on a Friday, that's likely right.

00:19:16.569 --> 00:19:19.693
So instead of being upset about it, you know what I started doing?

00:19:19.693 --> 00:19:24.590
All right, we're going to do kind of one-on-ones races and you watch how fast they start skating.

00:19:26.027 --> 00:19:28.392
All right, especially at the youngest age, you really want a kid to move.

00:19:28.392 --> 00:19:31.017
Put that kid against another kid, all right.

00:19:31.017 --> 00:19:36.614
Also, it's kind of a disclaimer there might be a kid who's not succeeding at that every time and they might get upset.

00:19:36.614 --> 00:19:40.433
This is an opportunity for you as a coach and a parent to talk to that kid.

00:19:40.433 --> 00:19:42.346
Yes, and I think it's really hard.

00:19:42.346 --> 00:19:44.953
You skated to try and catch that kid who's a year older than you.

00:19:44.953 --> 00:19:48.711
Man, I really loved your effort, your efforts pushing you to be further.

00:19:48.711 --> 00:19:51.031
That's a message, believe it or not, you can give it any age.

00:19:51.926 --> 00:19:55.175
That's why, that's why families that have big like I grew up in a family of a big family.

00:19:55.175 --> 00:19:59.446
I had three brothers that I always like it was bloodbaths, I mean it was like you know.

00:19:59.446 --> 00:20:05.667
So you know my mother would come in like who broke the bedroom door, like why is the bedroom door off the hinges?

00:20:05.907 --> 00:20:07.010
What door You're wrestling?

00:20:07.010 --> 00:20:07.352
What door?

00:20:07.352 --> 00:20:08.053
We have a door there.

00:20:10.144 --> 00:20:10.425
We don't.

00:20:10.425 --> 00:20:14.867
You know, my father would be like well, now you don't have a door, that's all, but you know.

00:20:14.867 --> 00:20:15.088
So I think.

00:20:15.088 --> 00:20:30.751
But you're absolutely right Like you can take the runt of the litter and bring them in and give them something that they could be good at, or give them some positive feedback as to what they are doing well, and then to really encourage them to continue to do that Right.

00:20:32.305 --> 00:20:34.212
And look, I don't think that happens enough to be fair.

00:20:34.212 --> 00:20:37.734
And again, look, if you're one coach with 10 kids, it can be hard.

00:20:37.734 --> 00:20:39.770
If you're two coaches with 20 kids, it can be hard.

00:20:39.770 --> 00:20:41.115
But this is something you know.

00:20:41.115 --> 00:20:50.512
You want to filter in it, even if it's just after practice, like, look, you didn't win a race today, but, man, you were moving and it's going to pay off and it kind of it kind of want to, you know, turn this into this too.

00:20:51.105 --> 00:20:53.292
I've seen teams where they have a great goalie.

00:20:53.292 --> 00:20:58.516
The goalie is just best in the league and you know, the whole season it's like well, we just got a great goalie.

00:20:58.516 --> 00:21:00.365
That goalie is a tool.

00:21:00.365 --> 00:21:01.189
You know.

00:21:01.189 --> 00:21:08.025
There needs to be a conversation with that goalie of, hey, we're going to have our guys shoot on you harder than in games because you're going to make them better shooters.

00:21:08.025 --> 00:21:09.691
That in turn they'll make you a better goalie.

00:21:09.691 --> 00:21:15.977
Sometimes it's not always 50-50 in terms of the balance, but iron sharpens iron Right.

00:21:15.977 --> 00:21:30.701
So if you can make your team and I'm going to say it in a positive way competitive at your practices and explain to them what competition is and why we're going to compete against each other and we want it to be fun, maybe even keep a standing system.

00:21:30.701 --> 00:21:34.374
Whatever you got to do, that's appropriate for your group and their mentality.

00:21:34.374 --> 00:21:36.770
It's going to do wonders in the game.

00:21:36.904 --> 00:21:39.374
Mike, you talked before about winning streaks.

00:21:39.374 --> 00:21:44.616
I, you know, I've always said a team is the most vulnerable during a losing streak and a winning streak.

00:21:44.616 --> 00:21:50.828
You are equally vulnerable at both of them because it just takes a little bit of turn to turn your mentality off.

00:21:50.828 --> 00:21:56.615
If you're not prepared and I do things that are unorthodox when we're in the middle of a winning streak, I'll have a meeting with the team.

00:21:56.615 --> 00:21:58.029
Hey, what are we going to do when we lose?

00:21:58.029 --> 00:22:01.270
I'll say it right in the room you can't talk about losing.

00:22:01.270 --> 00:22:03.993
No, I can, because it's going to happen if we don't talk about it.

00:22:03.993 --> 00:22:05.710
So what are we going to do when we lose?

00:22:05.710 --> 00:22:10.334
And just to hear them talk about well, we got to mentally be right back the next game.

00:22:10.334 --> 00:22:10.935
We got to do this.

00:22:10.935 --> 00:22:14.950
We can't change too much or adversely losing streak.

00:22:14.950 --> 00:22:15.951
Okay, what are we going to do when we win?

00:22:17.036 --> 00:22:25.926
You know, you know it's funny about losing streaks, mike, and this kind of plays into the episode when, when you're in a losing streak, the mental side of it is you're asking the wrong questions.

00:22:25.926 --> 00:22:30.525
When I, when I see teams in losing streaks, the questions typically are why can't we win?

00:22:30.525 --> 00:22:31.827
It's a horrible question.

00:22:31.827 --> 00:22:32.961
It's not a good question.

00:22:32.961 --> 00:22:34.327
You're not gonna get a good answer to that question.

00:22:34.327 --> 00:22:37.179
Or you know, why are we not scoring more goals?

00:22:37.179 --> 00:22:39.946
They're weak questions, right?

00:22:39.946 --> 00:22:43.450
You got to dive deeper into the level of the team of.

00:22:43.450 --> 00:22:50.448
Okay, you know what are the skill sets I need to work on right now that we're lacking that could develop into something good.

00:22:50.448 --> 00:22:52.259
What are the mental side?

00:22:52.259 --> 00:22:53.924
What are we fearing right now?

00:22:53.924 --> 00:22:57.986
What is fearful in our mind that it's not allowing us to compete?

00:22:57.986 --> 00:23:00.220
These are thought-provoking questions.

00:23:00.220 --> 00:23:03.167
If you get the team thinking, things start to change.

00:23:03.935 --> 00:23:07.748
Losing streaks or winning streaks, it's you're in the same mindset every single day.

00:23:07.748 --> 00:23:10.015
All right, even pros know they're gonna lose.

00:23:10.015 --> 00:23:10.980
All right.

00:23:10.980 --> 00:23:12.226
And look, I, how many.

00:23:12.226 --> 00:23:13.934
I don't know how many movies need to be made about this.

00:23:13.934 --> 00:23:23.116
I don't know how many situations have to happen where you see a team on a 20 game losing streak lose to the middle of the ground team, just cuz they're really, really hungry, right.

00:23:23.116 --> 00:23:25.462
And the other team you know, oh man, we're down by two goals.

00:23:25.462 --> 00:23:27.106
That hasn't happened since October.

00:23:27.106 --> 00:23:27.817
I, what?

00:23:27.817 --> 00:23:28.818
What do we do?

00:23:28.818 --> 00:23:29.461
What do we?

00:23:29.461 --> 00:23:31.666
It happens every year, every year.

00:23:32.116 --> 00:23:35.515
The best is like in the between, in the between period, it's always like we're better than these guys.

00:23:35.515 --> 00:23:37.036
They're not as good as I go well they're.

00:23:37.036 --> 00:23:39.020
They're clearly better than you, because they're beating today.

00:23:40.084 --> 00:23:42.318
So they are better than you, but so, so you know.

00:23:42.318 --> 00:23:45.556
But that, but again, those, those are looking for Excuses.

00:23:45.556 --> 00:23:46.578
All they're not as good as us.

00:23:46.578 --> 00:23:46.920
They're not.

00:23:46.920 --> 00:23:48.785
Well, not okay, let's forget about that.

00:23:48.785 --> 00:23:49.826
What are you doing?

00:23:49.826 --> 00:23:51.078
Forget about what they're doing.

00:23:51.078 --> 00:23:52.304
You know what are you doing.

00:23:52.304 --> 00:23:53.017
Are you getting?

00:23:53.017 --> 00:24:13.265
Are you can you get pucks in deep, even if you don't like that philosophy, and Change the momentum of the game, change the you know the way you're playing, so that you can catch up and then recoup and then gain Confidence, like you all see, we all see it in games, right, that that that confidence is contagious, like doing the right thing and and building momentum.

00:24:13.265 --> 00:24:27.026
It's like back in the day, when somebody to have a really big hit and all of a sudden, like I used to, I, when I, when I would teach, like checking and and body contact clinics, it was always, like you know, 15, 20 years ago, it was a why do we body check?

00:24:27.026 --> 00:24:30.015
Well, intimidation and changing the momentum for the game.

00:24:30.877 --> 00:24:31.601
I mean when.

00:24:31.621 --> 00:24:39.224
I was coaching you know my as a college coach it was like, okay, we're, we are gonna lay out the most vicious hit we can right now.

00:24:39.265 --> 00:24:43.055
We're gonna start a game with that we're gonna build our momentum.

00:24:43.055 --> 00:24:46.784
So so, what can we do differently as players now?

00:24:46.784 --> 00:24:52.075
To just create you know, create that, can you know that the ability to compete the whole game.

00:24:52.075 --> 00:25:00.815
Well, let's just, this is when these little battles and they add up to big battles right, I know we played, I know it was funny, we played a prep school game one time.

00:25:00.934 --> 00:25:04.086
We're against a opponent that was beaten us like by eight goals.

00:25:04.086 --> 00:25:09.595
Every time they played us and, okay, I said, the whole game, we're just gonna get the puck and ice it, win the face off.

00:25:09.595 --> 00:25:10.999
I don't care if you have possession, ice it.

00:25:10.999 --> 00:25:13.326
Well, well, coach, what about ice the puck?

00:25:13.326 --> 00:25:20.462
We're playing the long game here and that game probably took three hours, but it is ice the puck and we did lose.

00:25:20.462 --> 00:25:23.229
We lost one, nothing, but we're in the game.

00:25:23.269 --> 00:25:29.291
The whole time the other team lost their mind and I, you know, and people like, oh my god, mike, what did you do to the team?

00:25:29.291 --> 00:25:30.035
I go, we didn't do anything.

00:25:30.035 --> 00:25:42.515
We actually we played to our lowest Denominant, you know, but at that point I was trying to gain confidence, not in that game, I didn't think we'd ever win that game, but I was trying to gain confidence in is the future games.

00:25:42.515 --> 00:25:58.595
So just just getting the kids to buy into something that worked for me Allowed me then to introduce other things down the road, knowing I was gonna take the loss, but I can control that whole time, like that whole time was talking about hey, look who you did there.

00:25:58.595 --> 00:25:59.602
That's the right play.

00:25:59.602 --> 00:26:01.634
Look who we are right now ended the first period.

00:26:01.634 --> 00:26:02.761
No, we were ready at the first period.

00:26:02.761 --> 00:26:04.413
Last game we were down by seven goals.

00:26:04.413 --> 00:26:06.019
Right now we're down by zero, zero.

00:26:06.278 --> 00:26:10.898
So you know, as a coach and as a player and as a parent, we're in the beginning of the season.

00:26:10.898 --> 00:26:15.000
You've got to find all these little strategies To get to the end game.

00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:15.761
And what's the end game?

00:26:15.761 --> 00:26:17.859
The end game is not until March.

00:26:17.859 --> 00:26:19.452
Right, it's a long.

00:26:19.452 --> 00:26:26.607
Well, we are so long ways away lifetime, season ending, whether it's a positive or negative experience that we can.

00:26:26.669 --> 00:26:37.548
We can, you know, manipulate, control and Miyagi, all these things for our kids, because these kids are nine and ten and eleven years old.

00:26:37.548 --> 00:26:40.364
They shouldn't be that hard to fool, right?

00:26:40.364 --> 00:26:43.674
So you know, so we can do that with them every day.

00:26:43.674 --> 00:26:47.394
We get them in practice and in games, and sometimes you know coaches and games.

00:26:47.394 --> 00:26:49.662
You know the games coming up.

00:26:49.662 --> 00:26:50.925
You know where you.

00:26:50.925 --> 00:26:54.075
You know where you could play these games right with the kids.

00:26:54.075 --> 00:26:56.281
You know where you could push envelopes.

00:26:56.281 --> 00:27:02.787
You know going into a game, whether or not you could try different things to keep the game closer to to.

00:27:02.787 --> 00:27:09.580
You know manufacture stress to manufacture Kids fighting on the bench, like sometimes I'll.

00:27:09.580 --> 00:27:11.666
I'll play games early in the youth hockey season.

00:27:11.666 --> 00:27:14.885
We're all do things where I want to see which kids are gonna break.

00:27:14.885 --> 00:27:16.530
It's kind of like a Navy sea helpful.

00:27:16.530 --> 00:27:17.374
I want to see.

00:27:17.374 --> 00:27:20.875
I want to see who's gonna break first on holding this 200 pound log.

00:27:21.296 --> 00:27:24.343
Right, it's gonna be you who's gonna break first, and you know.

00:27:24.343 --> 00:27:25.445
And then you put this kid here.

00:27:25.445 --> 00:27:28.240
And put this kid here, say, okay, who's gonna now beat up on this kid?

00:27:28.240 --> 00:27:30.307
Get all those things out of the way now.

00:27:30.655 --> 00:27:31.499
Yeah, now's the time.

00:27:31.519 --> 00:27:33.305
You want to know who your kids are and what the.

00:27:34.537 --> 00:27:35.521
You want to know for two reasons.

00:27:35.521 --> 00:27:40.086
One, you want to know who's gonna be there at the start and then you want to know who you're gonna have to coach, and that's part of the job.

00:27:40.086 --> 00:27:41.755
That's not doing it right.

00:27:41.755 --> 00:27:45.787
And look, we have all youth coaches have all had a kid.

00:27:45.787 --> 00:27:48.930
We started the season and even you might have gone as coach of law.

00:27:48.930 --> 00:27:56.075
This kid's gonna be a lot of work and at the end of the season that that kid is the one that gets the game winner or has the breakout in the playoffs and does everything.

00:27:56.075 --> 00:28:01.428
And it's because of your six months of work or six months of putting that kid in the right position.

00:28:01.428 --> 00:28:05.234
Adversely, there's a kid who starts that starts really hot and cools off right.

00:28:05.234 --> 00:28:06.657
So this is all part of that.

00:28:06.657 --> 00:28:13.621
I'll say, miyagi, we're not gonna title this episode the manipulation of nine-year-olds, but you know it's all part of it.

00:28:13.621 --> 00:28:14.906
Right is understanding how to do that.

00:28:14.946 --> 00:28:32.243
I wrote a couple, a couple notes here, mike, especially at the start of the season, for your kids, for parents listening, get to know your teammates, get to know who kind of matches Whether it's a yin yang or kind of same same space type of thing who who fits well with your kid right and then can they challenge each other.

00:28:32.243 --> 00:28:37.801
I know right now it's actually really funny On my son's squirt team Him and this other kid.

00:28:37.801 --> 00:28:39.734
They're really good friends but they started out as enemies.

00:28:39.734 --> 00:28:44.132
I remember they were pushing and fighting every day and like coach had to separate them a few times.

00:28:44.132 --> 00:28:52.267
Now they're like best friends on the team and they push each other and I've been told I have been told by this young man's parents that's scoring on my son is like one of his.

00:28:52.267 --> 00:28:58.531
The biggest goals he has at practice or like in a in a rec game is scoring on my kid adversely.

00:28:58.531 --> 00:28:59.394
What do you think my kid wants?

00:28:59.394 --> 00:29:00.664
He wants to save it.

00:29:00.664 --> 00:29:04.320
It's a great relationship and you know afterwards they play games together.

00:29:04.320 --> 00:29:05.303
You know I love each other.

00:29:05.303 --> 00:29:05.763
They're friends.

00:29:05.763 --> 00:29:08.618
It's a great Competitive relationship.

00:29:08.759 --> 00:29:19.404
I actually hope Selfishly that I can create that with my daughter and my son, where I can get to a point where I can say when they're pissing me off, hey, go downstairs in the basement, just go shoot on each other, have some fun, leave me alone.

00:29:19.404 --> 00:29:21.217
No, you get.

00:29:21.217 --> 00:29:22.580
You got to cultivate these things now again.

00:29:22.580 --> 00:29:25.289
Listen, there may be some people listening to go.

00:29:25.289 --> 00:29:26.954
Well, that's kind of harsh.

00:29:26.954 --> 00:29:27.742
You know that that's.

00:29:27.742 --> 00:29:29.596
That can be tough, I, I.

00:29:29.596 --> 00:29:31.923
Real life is gonna be way tougher than any youth season.

00:29:31.923 --> 00:29:53.714
Your kids gonna have All right, and if you can help build these skill sets I always like to bring the ROI of hockey back to the life lessons All right, this stuff all translate, translates, excuse me, to high school, college, work, whatever it is, whatever your kid decides to do after 18, all of this stuff, and if you're doing it for 10 years, they will be infinitely more prepared for the rigors of the real world.

00:29:54.136 --> 00:30:02.663
Now, if you don't challenge them, if you don't allow them to compete in the right way, if you protect them too much we all want to protect our kids, including me.

00:30:02.663 --> 00:30:07.316
Alright, this, this is where you develop massive anxiety, fear of failing.

00:30:07.316 --> 00:30:10.144
They get on the real world and they cannot handle it.

00:30:10.144 --> 00:30:28.210
And Again, mike and I have seen this right, not wishing that on anybody, I'm not calling anybody weak, but I'm saying that the skill sets you can learn to be competitive, to deal with adversity, to overcome large obstacles which is another definition of adversity Directly translates.

00:30:28.210 --> 00:30:34.590
I'll give you another one, like you talked about that, the, the Scorpion 6, 5, one of the things I implement with a lot of teams.

00:30:34.590 --> 00:30:37.498
Hey, the score is always 0-0, always.

00:30:37.498 --> 00:30:39.775
That has got to be your mentality.

00:30:39.775 --> 00:30:41.545
I don't want you to think you're down by three goals.

00:30:41.545 --> 00:30:46.065
I don't want you to think you're up by three goals, the score is nothing, nothing and you got to find a way to win this game.

00:30:46.065 --> 00:30:54.051
And that's one of the things I use, whether we're losing or winning the game, to keep the competitive level up, because there's a mental side to competition.

00:30:54.051 --> 00:30:57.632
I've seen teams relax and lose games Every second.

00:30:57.632 --> 00:30:58.036
You're on the eye.

00:30:58.036 --> 00:30:58.944
I mean you pay a lot for it.

00:30:58.944 --> 00:31:09.066
You know you might as well utilize as much on time on the ice to develop something Right and again you said it before, you know your ability to create Competitive things.

00:31:09.066 --> 00:31:10.328
Move your D to forward.

00:31:10.328 --> 00:31:13.875
Move your forward to D if you can, right, have two goalies in the net.

00:31:13.875 --> 00:31:16.707
Find different ways to challenge your team Right.

00:31:16.727 --> 00:31:18.814
Beyond, beyond the skill sets, you have to teach something.

00:31:18.814 --> 00:31:21.113
I'm not negating that right, yet you have to teach skill sets.

00:31:21.113 --> 00:31:26.609