Do You Really Need Private Lessons?

Lee MJ Elias [0:00 - 1:09]: hello, hockey friends and families around the world. And welcome back to another edition of our Kids Play Hockey. It's Lee Elias with Christy Cashiano Burns and Mike Benelli. I'm not gonna lie to you, too. I love doing this open. It's exciting every time I get to do it. And I love the smiles on your faces. For those of you listening, we obviously create videos of all of these two, which you can find across the social sphere. But this is going to be a great episode today because we've got an in demand topic, Private Lessons. It's on the minds of lots of parents when I walk around the rinks at all ages, asked about, should I do it? Should I not do it? So today's title is, Is it time for Private Lessons? What skills Coaches can and can't do. We're gonna have a discussion for you. We're gonna break it down. Is it worth it? When should you do it? Why should you do it? What to look for if you are gonna do it. But it's a pretty important topic, guys, because more and more people looking for private lessons, looking for that extra ice. Why don't we start out by discussing just the benefits of private hockey lessons? Because there are several, right? But you got to know what you're getting into. Christy, do you want. You want to lead us off on this one? Yeah. 

Christie Casciano [1:09 - 2:31]: Well, you know, there are benefits because you both are coaches and you know, coaches are busy. You don't have time to fix everybody's issues. And every kid has issues. Some, they might be weaker skaters. Some need work on their shot. Some need work on how they carry themselves, their posture, their edges. There's so many different little things that you see in kids that need fixing, improving that you don't have time for. So that's when private lessons can help. But I caution that I think 11 years old and under, they can be a waste of time, because for reasons kids are still developing, you don't even know if your kid wants to keep playing hockey year to year until they're 11 or 12. So it can be a waste of money. What's not a waste of money? Maybe getting a few extra lessons on skating. That's never a waste. You can always improve your skating. There's so many areas that you can improve. Your footwork, your edges, your posture, you know, keeping your head up as you're skating. Those are all little things that you can work on as a kid 11 and under. But I think when you get into the more specifics about the shooting and, you know, the Game situations. I think it's a waste when you're under 11 years old. What do you guys think? 

Lee MJ Elias [2:31 - 2:52]: I'm really glad you clarified that because I know a lot, a lot of under 11 year old families that do private lessons. And Christie, I believe you're 100% correct. It's got to be focused on skating at that young age. It is the most fundamental skill in the game. And look, if you're, if your 10 year old has this great shot but can't skate to the net. 

Christie Casciano [2:52 - 2:53]: Yeah. 

Lee MJ Elias [2:53 - 2:56]: I mean that's the skill you need to work on the most. 

Christie Casciano [2:56 - 2:57]: Right. 

Lee MJ Elias [2:57 - 3:22]: And to be fair, most of the people I see doing this, that is what they're focused on. They're going to a skating coach to work on their stride. But still you're, you are developing. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I also think you got to keep your expectations realistic that you know, a good skating coach is going to help you get better, but it's not going to jump you from, you know, baseline. Said the best player in the world overnight. That takes, it takes a long time to cook a hockey player. That's what I keep saying. 

Christie Casciano [3:22 - 3:46]: Be realistic about it. You're right. And a lot of this stuff the kids in the summertime can work on right in their driveway with a stick, puck, roller blade and that in the driveway. All those things that they can work on in their own time without the pressure of having them formally get dressed, go to the rink, you know, and now you're getting back into the year round season kind of situation. 

Lee MJ Elias [3:46 - 3:47]: Right. 

Christie Casciano [3:47 - 3:52]: Where they can learn a lot of their skills, pick them up just practicing right in the driveway or just at a free skate. 

Lee MJ Elias [3:52 - 4:33]: Yeah. Well, let's turn it to Mike here because something Mike always says, and Mike, you said this so eloquently in an episode a long time ago about if you're going to go to a private instructor, know why you're going, like, don't just show up and say make me good. You know, I want to work on my skating. If you're younger, if you're older, yeah. There's lots of little nuances you can work on. And also from Christie's point, make sure it's not something your kid can just do in the driveway at the house. Right. You know, if you're going to go to a skill instructor, make sure they have a specialization or at least they're good at it to a point they can explain it. Right Mike? So let's go to you, like to me, the benefit of a private hockey instructor. Is Mike, to your point, knowing why you need to be there in the first place? 

Mike Bonelli [4:34 - 5:24]: Yeah. So you want to, you want to relate it, it's very relatable to school. Right. So you could be in a big classroom and you can be in an academic place where, you know, maybe your son or daughter struggling in that particular class or in that particular subject. That's kind of where the private lesson comes in. It comes in as, you know, maybe I'm. Maybe my skating's behind, maybe my shooting's behind, maybe I'm not turning and maybe I'm afraid of getting body checked or I'm afraid of, you know, physical confrontations along the boards. Like this is where I think private lessons really come into play. And it's a private tutor. It's somebody that can, can look at the deficiencies or, you know, I don't want to say players are behind. To Christie's point, you're not really behind. Under 11 years old, you're not. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:24 - 5:25]: Right. 

Mike Bonelli [5:25 - 6:04]: You're not behind. But you can get into a really good situation where you can fine tune certain things and a lot of it on the private side too. When I think about private lessons, I'm not. You just don't think about on ice. You got to think about, you know, all the different things that happen, Whether it's physical fitness, whether it's private lessons on balance and agility and coordination, whether it's a private lesson on watching game video or learning how to journal or whatever it is. Like there's some, there's some instances where kids and parents don't feel comfortable in a big group. And they're much more beneficial being in a very small, tight knit, you know, one on one setting. 

Lee MJ Elias [6:04 - 7:19]: Right. You know, it brings up a good point. Let's, let's take a look now more at the coaches, right? Like, what should you be looking for in a great coach, which we're kind of alluding to now? We've established that you should have a reason to go, right. It's not fair to the coach just to say, hey, make my kid better. Well, there's a lot, there's a lot of different aspects to that. Skating, shooting, passing, game sense, agility. I mean, there's so many things. So I think what you want to look for, just to start with a great private coach is is there someone that can specialize in whatever you identify that needs to be worked on? If it's a skating coach, perfect. Right. If it's a skills coach, perfect. But what you should be looking for in a great private coach is some form of specialization that, you know, they know what they're talking about and you're going to get your money's worth. Okay, now, now there is a scale on that, right? Because I don't think there's anything wrong to go into a college kid. And you know, and look, college players typically charge a little bit less because they're in college, right. Versus someone who's charging a hundred players plus dollars an hour who it's their job to do this. So realistic expectations. What can you afford knowing what you want to do? And then does that coach have a clue? Right? I think that's an important aspect of finding a great coach. 

Christie Casciano [7:20 - 7:25]: And when it comes to posture, strides and edges, don't be afraid to go to a figure skating coach. 

Lee MJ Elias [7:25 - 7:38]: 100%. 100%. Chrissy, I agree with you. I mean, look, that kind of harkens to the play, multiple sports type thought process. I mean, figure skaters are typically much better on their edges than hockey players are, right? They can teach you something. 

Christie Casciano [7:38 - 8:23]: Yeah, yeah, I did that with my kids early on and they really helped them with the edges. And then, and to, to prove my point, the coach would often use Joey to show an example when they had to work on, you know, edges and all that. Hey, Joey, show the kids how to do this. And he was really good at it because he had a couple lessons with a figure skating coach and his edges were just superb, just better than anybody else's. And I credit that to the figure skating coach he had. It was really good, his posture too, at looking up. So many kids have their heads down, don't they? That's something they can learn early on, break that habit when they're 11 and under. That's something you can work on with your kids, right? 

Mike Bonelli [8:26 - 9:36]: I tend to use the same rule for private lessons and skate sharpening. So if you go, if you go into a skate sharpener and you say, hey, can you sharpen my skates? And they say, yes, and they take your skates, run and get them. Go get them and. And run away. Run away. Same thing with private lesson. You know, if you're going to say, hey, I want my son to have a private lesson, great, I can do it. It's at 7am on Wednesday morning and I charge 85. Great. Run away. If there's no if, there's no question about what position does my kid play, right? What does he need to work on? Have you ever seen the player escape before? Have you ever done an evaluation? Have you done a You know, an update on who. You know, just looking at the player and what. And how they play and who they play for and what the expectations, all that goes. You're paying a lot of money. It's a lot of money to end time and time and the effort of getting there. Right. And doing these things outside your normal schedule. So I would just follow that rule that, you know, if you're going to go find a good coach, it's not so much this. It's. It's not so much the background of the coach, it's the questions the coach asks before they do the lesson. 

Christie Casciano [9:36 - 10:10]: That's a great point. And also, let's say at the end of the season, your coach comes up to you and your kid and says, hey, he needs to work on or she needs to work on their skating, and they leave it like that. Don't leave it like that. Ask them, well, what about it? What is it about the skating? Is she not getting enough speed? Is it her starts? Is it her stops? Is it, you know, how she skates toward the net? What is it specifically that she needs to work on? Just don't leave it as, oh, she should work on her skating. She needs to work on her shot. Well, what is it about the shot? 

Lee MJ Elias [10:11 - 10:11]: Right. 

Christie Casciano [10:11 - 10:29]: You know, tell me specifically. And then you can take that and go to the private coach and say, specifically, we need to work on stops or her starts. They're not explosive. Coach wants to see explosive starts. And you can hone in on that and work on that specifically so you're not wasting your money. 

Lee MJ Elias [10:29 - 10:51]: I wrote down here, too, that. And this is true of all coaches, but it's super true for, you know, skills coaches or private lesson coaches. Is your teacher. Right, Right. Like, we don't use that word enough when we talk about coaching. Coaching is teaching. Coaching is teaching. Right. So when you think about teaching, you think about school. Christy, what do most teachers assign after the lesson? 

Christie Casciano [10:51 - 10:52]: Right. Some homework. 

Lee MJ Elias [10:52 - 11:13]: Homework, Right. So. So that's another value to me. Yeah. Like, if a private coach is not giving you something to do at home, and, you know, they're just like, yeah, come back again, come back again, come back again. And I'm not saying you shouldn't go back again. All right. But if. If it's. If it's just like a transactional relationship, that's something to think about. The. The best private coaches I ever had, I would leave with assignments. 

Christie Casciano [11:13 - 11:14]: Sure. 

Lee MJ Elias [11:14 - 11:51]: The next time you come back here, this needs to be done. And I'm not going to coach you if you don't do it. Wow, that was a lot of value. All right. And it actually scared me a little bit because I wanted to keep coming back. All right, we'll get into motivations in a minute. So, yeah, look, you're looking for a teacher. Mike brought up some great red flags there of, you know, there's got to be some purpose behind it. Let's just say it that way. If there's no purpose behind it, they're just taking your money. And I do want to say this, like, because some parents say, well, my kid wants to train. They want to do it, go to a stick and puck. It's. It's 10, 15 bucks if they, if they have stick and puck near you. And if they don't, without going too deep into it, there's plenty of off ice training aids that can help you practice outside your house. 

Christie Casciano [11:52 - 11:53]: That's true. 

Lee MJ Elias [11:53 - 13:21]: Play close attention to this podcast, if you know what I'm talking about. Okay, I want to keep moving on here because, Christy, you alluded to this too. There is a communication, or there should be a communication between your regular season team and a private coach. And I actually don't think this happens enough. Okay? So when we're talking about what skills coaches can and can't do, again, Mike, to your point, too, you want to have some form of communication between your head coach and your skills coach, all right? Even if it's as vague, Christie, as you said of, hey, my coach wants me to work on this. That is, that is a form of communication. Okay? In the best, the best case scenario, your skills coach is talking to your head coach and you're working together to help this kid get where they need to be. But, Mike, I want to throw that to you, right? I think we need to talk about for a minute. You know what can't private coaches teach their kids that they can learn in a team setting, Right? And also, how do you make it so they don't interfere? Because if you're not careful, gang, a private coach can really actually be a detriment to your kid if it's not what the head coach wants. Right? So quick example of that, right? Kid comes in, I'm a center. I want to be the best center. I want to do all this stuff. You go back to the team, the kids playing wing, kids playing a totally different position than what they want to be better at. That's not going to work out. All right, Keeping in mind, too, we always talk about positionless hockey, but you know what I'm saying, Mike, I'd love Your thoughts on that? What. What can't private coaches do and what. What should they be doing to inter. Not interfere with the team? 

Mike Bonelli [13:23 - 14:24]: Yeah, well, I think that's. That's a key component, right. Is if your private coach has no communication with the head coach and the person that's working with you all the time, then, you know, how beneficial can they be on certain little nuances of the game that the co. Like. Like, I'll give you example. I. I ran into a kid that he was getting lambasted by the coach because he couldn't ship the puck off the glass. Like, he couldn't get the right positioning to angle the puck and chip it out. Now, most people would be like, well, why would you ever teach that? Like, we should never teach glassing out and try to get rid of the puck and, you know, try to move the puck away from you without skill. But on this particular team, the coach needed that and wanted that, right? So then giving the kid the confidence that they could be in those situations to flip pucks out and have a better angle on their stick and have a better angle on their arms, like, that was a. That's a big teaching piece. So knowing what the coach wants compared to what the player needs is a big component of why you might go see a private coach. 

Lee MJ Elias [14:24 - 16:14]: Yeah. And I want to say this too, that, you know, I like to keep this in perspective as a coach, right. I want to help every kid I coach. I mean, I really, really do. But the reality is, at a practice, I probably can give you 30 seconds of real private instruction because I gotta. I gotta coach the whole team, right? So if that kid is not able to receive that information in 30 seconds, which is really not crazy when you think about it, there's a lot going on at a practice. You know, that's the time I have. And there was a time I did do skills coaching, too, when I can give you really a good 45 minutes to an hour and really focus on something that's special, okay. Especially if you need to learn that skill. And Mike, again, you're talking about, again, the little nuances of a skill, right? I think when you look at skills coaching, let's use your glass and out example, right? There's so many little things there that actually apply to other areas of the sport. Puck protection, awareness, how to lift it correctly, the right speed, the touch. Those can be applied other places. You know, one of the things I always like to tell growing players is, you know, you know that everybody knows that. Talk about you need your 10,000 hours. You get 10,000 hours and you'll kind of get to a really good place. What was cool is I remember when I kind of reached that time point, right? And what started to happen was multiple skill sets started to work together. So the skills I had built up now were essentially talking with each other and allowed me to learn things very, very quickly. So glassing out, I said it, the touch, the understanding turned into other things like passing and saucer passing and understanding, body protection, turning away, all of those things started to work together, right? So those little nuances are great, but you have to know what the team wants and then your ability to teach that in a multifaceted way is super duper important, right? 

Christie Casciano [16:14 - 16:57]: Yeah, very, very much so. And also parents have to have realistic expectations. I can remember an example of this. You know, hockey mom spent six so much money over the summer because she wanted her kid to have a great shot. Well, he did had a great shot, but the problem was he didn't know how to make opportunities for himself. He didn't have the game awareness. So even though they spent all that money, the best shot on the team didn't make him a better hockey player. Because there's more to hockey players than just having those specific skill sets. You got to put it all together. So, Chris, when you're investing in all this coaching and private lessons. 

Lee MJ Elias [16:57 - 18:21]: No, it's such a great point. And again, I'll give one quick example and then we'll kind of move on here. But you're right, I think everyone's focused on skating, shooting, passing, and maybe the physical side of the game, right? And don't get me wrong, they're all very important, okay? They're all very, very important. But most of them you can work on on your own, right? You want to get better at skating, you should have someone teach you how to skate and skate, okay? But little things like we're talking about offense and systems and teams, you know, understanding the responsibility of F1 in the zone and how to angle a player and be on top of that player and move that puck where you want it to go. I'm telling you, as a high level coach, that is an insanely important skill that my F1 can do that, all right? And I'm often shocked at how many people, people do not understand how to do that, all right? Or defensively, net front presence in our zone, understanding how to box people out and get possession of the puck, that's not a sexy skill, right? But boy, is it a valuable skill. If I, if I was Gonna speak to my defenseman about getting a private lesson. It would be. Let's talk about how no one ever gets to the front of our goalie. Right. Not just having your big slap shot. So just something to think about when you're talking. Right. Private coaches are not necessarily there for your hockey iq. They're there to give you the skills so you can apply it within your hockey iq. Yeah, right. This is a good one. 

Mike Bonelli [18:22 - 19:18]: I think you do have to understand, too, if you're. Now, you know, we're speaking to the folks that are doing the private lessons and, you know, or you aspire to want to give privates. I mean, that's a huge piece of the puzzle of teaching the why of saying, okay, listen, I know you can stick. You could stick, handle through this cone and under this deviator and, and get to a place where, you know, what, what's your end game like? Where are you trying to get to at the end? And I think, you know, if you're, if you're watching your son or daughter in a private lesson and all they do is end every single drill with a shot, that's just not the game. The game. They get three shots a game. Maybe, maybe end most of the drills with a pass or a dump or a, Or a chip or, or redirect somewhere where now you can build hockey IQ into the player. The biggest thing we'll hear from skills of skills or coaches evaluating talent will be the player is a great, skilled player. They just don't know where to go in the game. 

Christie Casciano [19:18 - 19:19]: Exactly. 

Lee MJ Elias [19:19 - 19:21]: And, and I'll say this to you so important. 

Christie Casciano [19:21 - 19:48]: I heard that over and over again, especially when Sophia was getting recruited, you would hear coaches say that, oh, you know, know this, this player, this player has great skill set, but you put them in the game and they freeze. They don't know how to think, they don't know where to go. They don't know how to be part of the team. You know, so you can have all these great skills, but if you don't want to play the game and work with your teammates, it's not really going to benefit you. 

Lee MJ Elias [19:48 - 20:05]: Well, again, great example. How many times do we see a breakout drill trying to break out of the zone, but then the end of the drill is come back in the zone and take a shot when it's like, well, the goals to get the puck out of the zone, retrieve the puck and get. So the drill should actually end with you exiting the zone, and that's the goal. 

Mike Bonelli [20:05 - 20:06]: Yeah. 

Lee MJ Elias [20:06 - 20:41]: Right. So great points there. Okay. Yeah. Another Thing I want to talk about too is just let's call it interference. Right. Doing private lessons in the off season is one thing, and I think that that's for the players specifically. You know, once you had maybe your exit interview with your coach, like, these are the things my coach wants me to work on. A little more freedom here with your, with your skills coach in the season. I see kids do the same thing. They still get coaches. It's a lot of hockey. It's too much in my opinion, too, Christy. Yeah. Unless you're a really high level player that has a skills coach on the team, which is a totally different environment. 

Christie Casciano [20:41 - 20:43]: You know, that's totally different. 

Lee MJ Elias [20:43 - 20:43]: Right. 

Christie Casciano [20:43 - 20:47]: Having a skills coach on the team is very different. 

Lee MJ Elias [20:47 - 20:47]: Right. 

Christie Casciano [20:47 - 21:01]: Than hiring one privately and taking them to another rig, another time adding more to their plate on top of school, on top of what other extracurricular activities they have. That's way too much for a kid during the season. 

Lee MJ Elias [21:01 - 21:07]: Yeah, I agree. I agree with you on that. And you know, sometimes parents say to me, well, they're asking for it. They want more ice time. They want more ice time. 

Mike Bonelli [21:07 - 21:07]: Yeah. 

Christie Casciano [21:07 - 21:13]: My kid would love to have an ice cream sundae every night. Okay. Does that mean it's good for them? 

Mike Bonelli [21:13 - 21:16]: No. Parent. Be a parent. 

Lee MJ Elias [21:16 - 21:17]: I'm with you on this. 

Christie Casciano [21:17 - 21:18]: Good for the kid. 

Lee MJ Elias [21:19 - 21:52]: I think it's a, it's a. You got to take it by a kid, by kid basis. I think there's a difference between doing it weekly, wanting to do it weekly, and maybe once in a while. All right. Like maybe if you're really struggling with something and you really think a coach can help you, it's a nice gift, actually. It's a nice present. Right. We're going to get you a private lesson. Sorry. So I just think that every family's got to gauge that just because your kid wants something doesn't mean you have to give it to them. You're already spending a lot of money. Yeah, right. If they're getting the ice time, my question would actually be during the season. Well, why are you not practicing this at your practice? 

Christie Casciano [21:52 - 21:53]: Exactly. 

Lee MJ Elias [21:53 - 21:55]: Okay, that's a great point. Yeah. 

Christie Casciano [21:55 - 21:57]: Mike agrees with us. 

Lee MJ Elias [21:57 - 21:58]: He's not. 

Christie Casciano [21:58 - 22:00]: Even though he's being silent on it. 

Mike Bonelli [22:00 - 23:24]: No, I just, I just think. I just think. I think it's common sense. I mean, it's a bit. Listen, I'm. And I'm all for. I see, I'm. I do a lot of private lessons and I do a lot of one on ones and I see a lot of the same kids not with me because I kind of regulate that a little bit on my own, right? But I see the same kids on the ice every single morning. And guess what? You know, a lot of them look happy. They look like they're, they look like they're enjoying it. I mean, I, I, they, they, hopefully they don't have all Ds, you know, in school, but like, you know, but, but I mean, I don't know, I don't know how they're finding the other time to do the other things, but that's, hey, listen, if you're a family that can do it and your kid's not, you know, complaining about getting up and going, then, then, then, you know, do what you want to do. I just, I just think it's over, over the course of a player's career, those hours add up and it's, it's. If your ultimate goal is at the end game is to have your kid play pro hockey, which is fine, you know, that's what you want, you want your son or daughter to play pro, then the way to get there is not what you're doing because by the time they are able to get there, all these other things are going to have a lot of impact on them. Injury, overuse, you know, burnout, all that kind of stuff. And you can't project that in a 9 and 10 year old, but you can, you can, you can, you can defend against it by having a nice healthy, you know, setup for, for one on ones and team instruction. 

Christie Casciano [23:24 - 23:40]: Right. I'm so glad you mentioned that. Injury, burnout, kids just not loving the game anymore. You put all that at risk when you, when you load them up like that, parents. So pay attention to that. We've seen it. 

Mike Bonelli [23:40 - 24:55]: Yeah, and you made a good point, you know, as far as the off I stuff and Lee too, right. That you could take these off ice tools and get the reps in without the wear and tear on your body. Because then your kid is going to say, oh, I feel tired here. If you're with a private coach most of the time, you're never going to tell that guy, you know, you've had, here's my example right from, from my own personal experience. So my son was a catcher in little league baseball and in little league baseball there's a rule that pitchers can only pitch so many innings and so many pitches. But so Michael, when he was growing up was the only kid that wanted to play catcher or the only kid that was catcher. So I would have these arguments with the coaching staff that, well, he can't be in a full game. He's throwing as many balls back as the pitcher. Three pitchers pitched. He's the only catcher. So all of the reps that he's getting are inefficient later on and are going to open him up to injury where. And overuse. Where you're only thinking about the pitcher. What about the kid that's throwing the ball every single time, you know, unless it's hit out of the ballpark. So I think it's like, it's the same thing with a parent and a private lesson. Like, be aware that those reps add up. Goalies are. We know this with goalies. Right. We already know that with goaltenders. 

Lee MJ Elias [24:55 - 24:55]: Yeah. 

Mike Bonelli [24:55 - 25:00]: That those could be really negative reps. Even though you think you're doing a positive thing. 

Lee MJ Elias [25:00 - 25:59]: Again, my kid will not play in the spring. I. We don't. At this age, we don't let him play in the spring. And you know what? I say it every year on the show. There's no complaint to start, but what always ends up happening, which is a good thing. It's around. We're recording this in early June. It's, hey, when can I get on the ice again? I want to get on the ice again. Music to my ears again. He's 11. This will change as he gets older. He'll want to do more, most likely, but I'm not forcing it. It brings me to this kind of next in, like the final part of this episode, which is two part. Right. How do you know if your kid's ready for private lessons and then what age? You know, I think this is what's important. We're all kind of alluding to it. Right? First off, let's just say this. Your kid has to want to be at these things. You have to want to be there. Do not bring your kid to a private lesson if they're not begging for it. All right? And parents, I hear them, hey, maybe we should do a private lesson and get your skating going. This is my. My opinion. You don't have to agree with me on this. That's not the way to approach it. It's. Hey, buddy, how would you feel about opportunities to help work on your skating? 

Mike Bonelli [25:59 - 25:59]: That's. 

Lee MJ Elias [25:59 - 27:55]: That's the question you might want to ask. The kid goes, I'd love that. Then. Then, now you can open up a conversation. But if you say, there's this private lesson you can go to, it's going to make your skating better. Well, you're telling the kid, I want you to work on your Skating, Right. That's how they're going to internalize it. The second thing is this. And again, my opinion, I, I can't speak for every family out there. And if you disagree with this, that's fine, let us know. Private lessons should be a reward, especially at the younger ages. Okay. What I mean by that is this. My dad and mom did not take me to private lessons till they saw me shooting a thousand shots on my own volition in the garage every day. They saw me putting time in on my own and they recognized, oh, wow, he really wants to work on his game. That's when that became an availability. And they told me, and you know, looking back at this now as an adult and a dad, they said to me, we did that because you showed us you wanted to, to do that you wanted the extra work. We were more than happy to reward you with that because it costs a lot of money. Right. Keeping in mind too, this isn't. There was no YouTube back then. There's no Internet, not, not to the way it is today. I couldn't just go search what to train outside. Like I was making it up. Right. So if you see that drive in your kid at any age. I'm actually not going to put an age limit on this. And they want extra work and you find a great coach. To me, yeah, there's no right or wrong age to start. Okay. I don't, I don't want to put an age limit on. I think the type of training changes depending on the age. But if your kid has the drive and they want it, reward them with it. And, and really like, hey, I see you training outside. There's a great coach nearby. Would, you know, let, would you like to see that? Like, would you like a little more stuff there? I, that's my opinion. Okay. So again, I, I don't think that there should be too much of an age limit. I mean, I see crazy people out there with six year olds doing four sessions a week. That's crazy. That is crazy. All right. But, but, you know, once in a while just to work on your stride. 

Christie Casciano [27:56 - 27:56]: Sure. 

Lee MJ Elias [27:56 - 28:15]: Again, it's the most fundamental. You would totally get your kid a tutor if they couldn't read. All right. You know, at a certain age. So I just don't have a problem with that. And then again, that dives into. How do you know they're ready? Well, they're outside practicing. It's all they're doing. Right. Like to a point. You got to moderate. But I'd love your thoughts on this too. Yeah. 

Christie Casciano [28:15 - 28:28]: Oh, yeah. So I agree with you. 11 and under, we. We were into the private coach thing, but that was only to help them with the mechanics of skating. That's never going to hurt you. That was definitely worth the investment. 

Lee MJ Elias [28:28 - 28:29]: Right. 

Christie Casciano [28:29 - 29:02]: As they got older, we did get some private coaches. Sophia needed help with just her speed and her starts. You know, the college coach wanting to see more explosive starts before she went to college. You know, we hired a speed coach. And, you know, the biggest benefit I saw with both of my kids when they had the private lessons was confidence. Their confidence level got boosted, and that was worth every single penny that we spent. They were just out there. They felt more confident, and that was a game changer. 

Lee MJ Elias [29:02 - 29:24]: Yeah, we're very blessed here in this area from a goaltending standpoint that, you know, we've had the guest on, you know, Matt Tendler from the. The goalie doctor, but there's so much availability for goalie private lessons or small group lessons. And, you know, we. We do do that right before the season. We go to a goalie camp. Because you said it, Christy, the confidence that he has out of that camp, it's just. Just a great lead into the season. 

Christie Casciano [29:24 - 29:25]: Sure. 

Lee MJ Elias [29:25 - 29:48]: Right. And it's funny because when I see him get on the ice sporadically in the summer in that you can tell he hasn't played in a little bit. Yes, he has fun, but even he goes, yeah, I haven't played in a minute. So, like, that's another thing. That prep of here's. Here's the goal I want you to have. Here's the confidence we're building. Get on the ice. I love that. Mike, I'd love your thoughts on this, too. Again, it's. We're kind of discussing how do you know your kids ready, what age should they start? Right. I think we're tapping on that right now. 

Mike Bonelli [29:50 - 30:05]: Yeah. And I think. I think a good way to wean some. Sometimes wean into it. And even if you're. If you're in a. Especially with the younger kids, but the older kids, I think it's crucial. But, you know, you know that you got to really look at more like the semi private. Like, I would. I would really rather work with like two or three kids. 

Lee MJ Elias [30:05 - 30:06]: Yeah. 

Mike Bonelli [30:06 - 31:18]: In a setting that, that, that, you know, and. And make it where, you know, they around. If they're around the same skill ability and the same age and like, have the same ability to, you know, kind of focus and be attentive. Those small groups. And I don't mean six or seven, I mean Two or three. Like, yeah, it's really, you know, and the kids can compete against each other. They're. They're facing passes from themselves. Like, you know the old saying that, you know, if you're. If you. If you want to, you know, a great player will never get a bad pass. Right. They'll always learn how to get, you know, So I think us as private coaches, a lot of times you want to give that perfect pass every single time to the player. But the real. The real key is giving them really bad passes and. And have. And sometimes the best person to give a bad pass is just another bad player. But I think if you. If you, you know, so I think it's just, you know, just. Just putting kids in age groups where they can compete a little bit. It. It. Eliminate it. It adds a little bit of competition. It. It does add a little bit of, like, ego, you know, it adds a little bit like, hey, I'm better than this kid and I'm doing better than that kid. And that's good thing. Yeah. You know what, what I. What, what I. What I definitely don't like, though, is the ones. Is the parents that do the privates, and they don't tell anybody about. It's like this top secret. 

Lee MJ Elias [31:19 - 31:22]: I can't let them know. We can't let them know about this. 

Mike Bonelli [31:22 - 31:27]: And they're like. And then all of a sudden, you walk in the rink and there's six other kids from your team there. Like, what are you doing here? 

Lee MJ Elias [31:27 - 31:30]: I thought, how did they know? How did they know about this person? Because that person's trying to make money. 

Christie Casciano [31:33 - 31:38]: Don't be one of those parents. If you have a good skills, coach your kid. Share it. 

Mike Bonelli [31:40 - 31:51]: Yeah, there. If it's in a team kind of setting and you can have two or three kids, and plus it saves you a hell of a lot of money. And I think just the ability. The ability to have that little competition is great. 

Christie Casciano [31:51 - 31:51]: Yeah. 

Lee MJ Elias [31:51 - 35:24]: Well, when you look at the best players in the world, you know, Sidney Crosby, known for training with Nathan McKinnon every summer, like, they don't do it alone most of the time, and then they'll switch up trainers every two to three years. All right, final notes before we close this out. You know, I read a great book by Tim Grover, who was the trainer for Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant. He has two books out called Relentless and Winning. And one of my favorite parts was he never gave them a good pass at practice ever. He never gave them a good practice because to be the best players in the world you don't get good passes all the time. So they just got over it and they learned the other thing I wrote on here. One of the things I encourage parents to do with their kids. All of your kids are watching YouTube. All of them. Okay. Lay this line on them. Did you know you could search YouTube for skills? Did you know you could search how to be better at this? Just plant the seed in their mind that they can search for things. Right. Make sure you know what they're watching. Not everything out there is really great advice. All right. But one of the things is if your kid can learn the skill of, oh, I can learn by watching. I can search. I can find things. That's a pretty valuable skill other than show me Minecraft world, people eating each other, whatever they do. Okay. Right. Teach them the skill to search. All right. The last thing I'm going to say before I close this out. Forgot who said this quote. When it comes to hockey, you have your toolbox. And the goal is to get as many tools in that toolbox as you possibly can. A great private lesson, skills coach or small group coach is going to give you tools for that toolbox that you can't necessarily get at your team practice. The more tools you have, the more things you can do. If you only have the big. If you only have the hammer of skating and the wrench of passing and this whatever other tool you want to pick for for shooting. Good tools. But you can't fix everything with just three tools. You need a lot of little tiny tools to find the way to get through. Fill your toolbox up and find a coach that's going to give you tools that is the most valuable thing you can get out of private lesson. All right, that's gonna do it for this episode. We hope you gave you some really good takeaways. Things to think about if you're looking for a private lesson. At the end of the day, kid loves the game. You'll find a path. You'll find your path. Nobody's on the same path, all right? And above all, just enjoy it and love it. And remember, if you're financially not able to afford it, there are so many avenues out there that you do not need to do. Do this to build your skills. I would love to see more kids back on the street playing roller hockey, playing street hockey, just playing hockey. Don't have to be in the rink all the time. That's going to do it for this episode. Great discussion, guys. Chris DiCassiano. Burns. Mike Benelli. I'm Lee Elias. Remember, if you have a question, comment, thought, agree, disagree, email us team@our kids playhockey.com or in this episode description There's a little link you tap that you text us. It comes to us. Remember to leave your name if you want us to talk about it, or an email if to you want want us to contact you. But no matter what you do, enjoy your hockey. Enjoy your day. We'll see you in the next episode of Our Kids Play Hockey. Take care everybody. We hope you enjoyed this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey. Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network, or our website, our kids playhockey.com also make sure to check out our children's book, When Hockey Stops at When Hockey Stop. It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life. We're very proud of it. But thanks so much for listening to this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey and we'll see you on the next episode.