Sept. 30, 2023

Embrace The Chaos: The Art of Balance with Hockey Mom of 4 & Entrepreneur, Kim Wright

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Season 1 Our Kids Play Hockey

Being a hockey parent is a tiresome job, but what would happen if you multiply that by four kids? Add in a few successful businesses to make life more chaotic and you have today's guest, Kim Wright.

Kim is the mastermind behind multiple successful Nothing Bundt Cakes locations, and the mother of four young, lively hockey players (two goalies, a defenseman, and a mite!). Her story is not just inspiring; it's a testament to the power of resilience, passion, and an unwavering positive attitude.

Kim reveals her secrets on how to juggle different roles without compromising on any. She discusses how she uses technology and external help to manage her packed schedule, emphasizing that each child is unique and their interests and skills can evolve over time. Kim strikes an extraordinary balance between life and hockey, making sure she doesn't sacrifice opportunities or relationships.

We also explore the importance of extracurricular activities for children in this episode. Kim talks about how her children participate in activities like taekwondo, golf, surfing, and pickleball, and the ways these activities contribute to their overall development. She discusses the vital role of clear communication between parents and children, and how mistakes can lead to growth and learning.

This episode is a treasure trove of practical advice and inspiration for busy hockey parents, so prepare to be inspired by Kim's journey!
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00:49 - Juggling Kids and a Successful Business

11:12 - The Benefits of Hockey for Kids

23:01 - Parenting and Busy Schedules

27:59 - Manage Busy Schedule With Kids

39:16 - Communication and Priorities in Parenting

42:16 - Athletes and Extracurricular Activities

49:59 - Networking and Connecting With Others

55:47 - Communication and Accountability in Family Planning

01:02:07 - Managing Multiple Kids' Sports Schedules

01:12:20 - The Impact of Entrepreneurship on Hockey

WEBVTT

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What would you do if you had four kids playing the game?

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And what would you do if multiple kids were goalies within that family?

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Our guest today is living that life While also being a very successful entrepreneur.

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This is I'm not gonna lie, it's one of my favorite episodes I've ever done.

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It literally embodies the Our Kids Play Hockey title, so you're gonna enjoy this one.

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We have Kim right on today.

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It must listen for all of us today.

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Good episode Also.

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We're into the season now.

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If you're looking for some professional team building, team bonding talks with your team, we're offering special deals right now over at Game7Groupcom that if you come over there and let us know or you can email us, lee at Game7Groupcom If you're interested in some team building for the year, we're giving discounts to anybody who listens to this podcast.

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Just let us know that you're interested and we'll go over some plans with you about the same things that we do with pro teams and college teams and junior teams.

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We do with MIGHT teams and squirt teams and PWE teams, and it's all about bringing that group together, whether you're the players or a coach who just wants to learn more.

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Check us out again Game7Groupcom for all of your team performance, team building, team bonding needs.

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But without further ado, let's get into the episode today about having four kids playing hockey two of them goalie with our guest, kim Wright.

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Enjoy the episode everybody.

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Hello hockey friends and families around the world and welcome to another edition of Our Kids Play Hockey.

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I'm Lee Elias with Mike Benelli, and we've got a very special guest today, one whose hockey life balance will both shock you and equally impress you.

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Kim Wright joins us today.

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She is the mother of four youth hockey players Aiden, who is 14 and is a triple A goalie.

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The twins, brady, who is 12 and a goalie.

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And Jack, who is also 12, obviously, and a defenseman both play on a double A team.

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And Charlie, who is seven years old and is a might Now for this audience.

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That bio would be enough to wow you, but Kim takes this to the next level.

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Check this out.

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In addition to being a full-time hockey mom, kim is the owner and operator of five nothing but cake locations, while also serving as the chairperson and Northeast Rep for the organization's brand advisory council.

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She's also a staple in her local community, serving as a board member for her local chamber of commerce and a chair for her local YMCA advisory board, not to mention.

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Kim can always be seen around town or on the nightly news at events sharing the joy of bunk tapes.

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She also doesn't just do these jobs.

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She's also recognized for these jobs, and I'm talking just recently as in the past three years, kim was awarded or recognized as the check this out 2023 mainline chamber of commerce.

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Woman owned business of the year.

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2023.

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Delaware County Chamber of Commerce.

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Small business person of the year 2023.

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Mainline today power women honoree.

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From 2019 to 2023.

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Mainline parent community love award winner.

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And 2020 a wonderful year Nothing but cakes.

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Love that's living our values every day.

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Award winner.

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Those are just the recent awards.

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Kim was also the feature of our own Kristy Kashiwena Burns hockey mom article in this month's USA Hockey Magazine.

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People, I'm going to be honest with you.

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There's more to this bio than I read, but we don't have two and a half hours to go through all of them and we need to get in the show.

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I will just finish with this.

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Of all of the accomplishments that I've said, parent being the number one, kim is a thoughtful and wonderful person and parents with a genuine nature to help others.

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It's so obvious when you meet her that she cares about you and cares about what you're saying.

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It's a rarity nowadays.

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Kim, welcome to our kids, play hot.

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Good morning.

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Thank you for having me.

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I'm super excited to be here and see you and Mike face to face.

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Lee, I'm excited that this past year, you and I have been able to have more FaceTime, since our might play together, which has been awesome.

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Just for the audience.

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So you understand, kim and I are in the same area and for the first year of my hockey journey, when my son was younger, we've lived busy lives.

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Kim and I was like you guys got to meet each other.

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It's amazing you haven't run into each other.

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I think it took about a year before we actually met and then we didn't stop seeing each other every day afterwards.

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But you know, I'm always in all of you and everything that you've accomplished.

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I've said it many times that, like you might be shorter than me, but I look up to you Something I say to my wife, right in all of the stuff that you do.

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So, kim, I thought really hard on these questions, right, and I need to leave lead off with a good one, and this is how I wrote it.

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Kim, how the hell do you juggle all of that?

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Well, you know I get asked that a lot.

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You know in business as a mom, and one thing that I always say is that, ultimately, every day, I wake up and I embrace the chaos, right, I know that I'm going to have you have to have a good game plan, right, always in order to try to succeed and do your best, but I'm always ready for everything to fall apart and when it does, and when it starts to unravel, I'm just ready to embrace that chaos, because, ultimately, my goal every day is to control the chaos, but sometimes it doesn't happen.

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So, you know, positivity a good attitude can do.

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Attitude just like we tell our kids on the ice is super important, and I would say that's my number one thing going in every day, and I understand that not everybody has a positive mindset, mentality which I'm blessed with.

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To be honest with you, that's how I wake up every day.

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I see the glass half full every day when I wake up, but I know that that's not natural for everybody, right, some people wake up and you know they have a different outlook.

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But I would say the best thing that you can do every day is to attempt to put positivity in the world, so it comes back to you.

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Well, I think we need to get t-shirts made that say embrace the chaos on a hockey parent, or something like that.

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You know, I want to ask this question too, because I'll be I'll be upfront.

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But you know, I talk a lot about mental fitness and mental health on this channel.

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I don't always have the easiest time transitioning when things chaos presents itself.

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Right, you know, I have my plan at the beginning of each day, just like you.

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Things happen, so I'm wondering if there's anything you know, in addition to the positivity which exudes out of you that you know you lean on when something goes left instead of going right.

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Is it?

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Is it a deep breath for you?

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Is it deep practice that, normally?

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Or is it just you know?

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Hey, that's, it's the way it is and I got to move forward.

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Well, you know, since you know, your podcast is primarily about us being parents to hockey children.

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I think one of our biggest challenges in our household as parents is that some children lean more towards what you know, our persona, and we can identify with that, and then sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes that's the ultimate challenge.

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And then you know, opposite of that, sometimes our child is so opposite of us we can't understand them and we just want them to, you know, kind of go into our lane and do the things the way that we want them to, even though we know, as they grow to adulthood, like they're going to be their own person and we need to help them, be the best for them, right, because we need to go out into the world and then achieve things on their own.

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So I would say, you know, having and the hockey world is so great about this hockey family is the most incredible.

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Best thing about putting our kids in this youth sport is that I lean on other people and, lee, you're one of those people.

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I know that I've called you.

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You know for small things, for large things and you know when you do that because you really need to, it can.

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It can change everything for you.

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Sometimes it's a validation, sometimes it's actual things that help you, sometimes it's a tip like oh, I get my pre-made foods from this person and she delivers them, you know, once a month.

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So it just depends on what it is.

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But I think that knowing you know, leaning on your hockey family, for me is what gets me through it, because the schedules are always going to be for me overwhelming.

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So I've already scheduled this week when another teammate is going to give my center ride, when we're going to give his center ride, just so that all the magic can happen and everybody can get where they need to be.

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It's tremendous advice, kim, and I'll tell you that.

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You know, one of the mistakes I think I made earlier this is kind of like business and hockey I'm talking about is I had this overwhelming, I have to do it myself kind of attitude, and you learn pretty quickly.

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If you want to succeed that it's just not possible.

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You have to have a great support system.

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You have to surround yourself with people that are going to help you like minded people.

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Another one you brought up too it was funny is you talked about the pre-made meals.

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You know it, I had this stubbornness about this for the longest time, about no, I, you know we have to make our own food and it's like no, it's.

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That was not a hill I was willing to die on and it turned out to be one of the best things ever was just to get some support.

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Right.

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It was, it was lack of a word.

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It's worth the investment of time and money to get that back with my family.

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So, exploring those things kind of, as you said and as you kind of mentioned, it's different for every family, right, depending on location and what you do.

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Next one I want to dive into, and then, mike, I'll let you talk.

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I'm just excited about this one.

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I'm here to learn.

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I'm here to learn because I have complete chaos in my life every day.

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So there you go.

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Well, it breaks the chaos right.

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That's kind of me.

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That's the theme of today's show.

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Kim, again, we mentioned you have five nothing but cakes locations, but that you're not new to business.

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You and your husband run a business successfully together for many years.

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So weaving that in kind of knowing that you've been in the professional world for a while.

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When the kids did get into hockey all right when it started, did you know what you were getting into?

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Or was this kind of new for you?

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And I want you to keep in mind the parents listening that have just started their journey so no, absolutely not.

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I was naive to the hockey world.

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Had I been more versed I probably would have, you know, directed them to anything else, but no, absolutely.

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My kids at the time played t-ball and soccer and they just weren't into it.

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So Aiden, my oldest son, who was six at the time, said mom, some kids at my school play ice hockey.

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I think I want to check it out.

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So naively I said, okay, let me talk to their moms.

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And you know their moms gave me.

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You know they told me the truth.

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They were like oh, hockey so great, we love it, you meet so many friends.

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But they did not tell me the like, the real deal at 5am it's going to like suck all of your weekend time away, it's a money pit.

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They did not tell me any of those other things.

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I am glad today that they did it.

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But you know you're talking to a Texas girl who was born and raised in Texas.

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I think we got the Dallas Stars.

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You know, when I was probably in middle school or maybe early high school, we were a football family and then I lived here for 15 years.

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So I did not know anything about hockey.

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I feel like I got partial advice when I asked and, but of course you know, soon as we signed up the kids and they immediately fell in love with it and we've been here ever since.

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Yeah, it's like that advice.

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How was hockey?

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It's great, it's really great.

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You should try it.

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No, I'm driven by your house.

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You have, you know, eight feet of grass.

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So I don't know if you know, but no, but I think, I think that's like a cautionary tale, right, it's almost like we, and we say it from the hockey's, the hockey perspective, I mean, that's always the.

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The biggest selling point is like just get them into the rink and get them on the ice and you got them hooked like that's the, that's the.

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I guess the negative piece of the positive side of what we do from a, from a grow the game perspective get them out there getting playing.

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They're hooked like the.

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The the ability to get a kid onto the ice is the hardest piece.

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The keeping them there is actually Fairly simple, you know, if you can keep.

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Yeah, well, that's it, I mean it's just the kids, the kids just like it.

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Just one of those sports where, you know, in a world that we're living in, like T-ball, becomes very boring to them.

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I mean, I obviously like a lot, of, a lot of people I try to, you know, inject into these other sports because you know I want them to succeed too, because I want, I do want to be out On a baseball field watching my kids play, and not always in a rink, you know, 12 months a year, but I think that's the.

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The struggle for me is like you've got to get out of this mode of Nine kids standing around waiting for a ball to get hit to them, and that's why hockey is really, you know, elevated itself because there is so much action, there's so much, you know, opportunity To build in success for these young players, especially when your kids started right, kim, with like, the like the little six, seven and eight year olds.

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The way the game has evolved has given these kids the opportunity to play All the time touch pox, be active, you know, leave with a good sweat on and, you know, and have a little bit of success as opposed to, you know, I mean, t-ball is hard, I mean hitting a ball is, they say, the hardest thing to do in sports, right?

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So I think you know, I think that piece is a great piece for you and your family.

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But again, like you said, it's like, well, nobody told me about all this other stuff on the background and and but, but again, that's why we lean on people like you, like that's why you know, christy would interview somebody like you because, like, we want to find the secret sauce to okay, well, how do we manage all that?

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And and it is a hard thing to do Whether your kids at any sport I don't want to put hockey into a corner here, because any parent that puts that has their child playing a competitive sport.

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I mean, I just met, you know, two gymnasts this weekend that that haven't been home in three weeks.

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So you know, it's just they're out and about and they have to go.

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You know they have to go away to meets and they have to go to different states.

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I mean we're, you're, you're fairly lucky at the youngest ages and hockey that you could stay within your.

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You know, if you choose to, you can stay within your bubble.

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I mean you can go, you know bonkers, but you can, but you can, but you can control that chaos, I think, in a lot of ways.

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We're gonna go over her schedule in a moment, yeah.

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Yeah, I mean I'm reading these rundown.

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I'm like geez, I'm tired.

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Just reading the rundown.

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I don't even understand how this evening is possible, but no, it's.

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It's like but again to the point of it is a scary thing to get into, but we do what we can with for our kids and as long as those kids are driving that I think it's you know then we'll make our schedules work.

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You know, mike, I think that you hit on some key points, which is to just get kids onto the ice.

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Um, you know, it's just a great business format, to be honest with you, you know, and nothing.

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Bun cakes we say all we have to do is get cake in mouth.

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Once we do that, you can they, they drive themselves to the bakeries right, and if you have a great product, if you have a great you know program, then people will come back for it.

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Uh, and you're right in terms of the teaball kind of and the soccer lines.

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That was why my boy struggled and I just posted recently on social I think, lee, you might have seen it it was a picture of my twins when they were probably first or second year, adams or mites or something like that, and Everybody was in the handshake line and my two twins, probably five or six years old, were wrestling on the side of ice and I just felt like that, that was them.

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They just had this.

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Um, hockey has a physicality to it that is constant.

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They have to be in control of their bodies to just stand upright, to move forward in the line, you know, and that's not even any, you know, adding any hockey skills in, and that is why hockey was a win for me as a mom and that's why I kept going, despite the time it took all of the gear, that I was confused by Acquiring the gear, purchasing it all of it, because it had that piece of it that kept them constantly active that no other sport was able to offer at that time and that was a huge win for me, for them on the ice and then for me after they got off ice, because they were truly engaged.

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The whole time they were tired and then now, as they grown into Middle schoolers and high schoolers, they are learning such life lessons.

00:15:44.408 --> 00:16:01.203
That goes beyond that physicality, about being committed to you know a training program or to your team, whether you know it's a successful season or not, whether they are a complete match for their coach or not, or for all of their teammates, or whatever it happens to be.

00:16:01.203 --> 00:16:07.812
So you know, as a mom, those are the main things that make hockey a winning sport for us as a family.

00:16:08.500 --> 00:16:11.054
Yeah, I'll say too that you know I think about.

00:16:11.054 --> 00:16:15.674
I'm at that point in my life when I'm starting to see things through my own parent my own parents, says eyes.

00:16:15.674 --> 00:16:30.346
Right, I don't know how to say that Plurally, but I remember, for me specifically, the relief on my mother and my father when I found the game because it fit my Personality and look, I love baseball, football, I even enjoy basketball, but they never fit my temperament.

00:16:30.346 --> 00:16:33.240
When I found the game it was so such a clicking moment.

00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:34.785
I remember like, oh, this is it for me.

00:16:34.785 --> 00:16:37.629
But I could just never stand in center field and wait.

00:16:38.520 --> 00:16:47.650
That was never my, my shtick, if you know what I mean well is, you know, and Lee, you know, you have, you know Logan and Alina, so you understand that their personas are not the same.

00:16:47.650 --> 00:16:52.730
Their mentalities aren't, their limits for things aren't the same, the way that they process information.

00:16:52.730 --> 00:16:58.825
It will never be the same, but the beauty of this sport is it truly can be a fit for everybody.

00:16:58.825 --> 00:17:10.619
My oldest, your typical oldest, type a, my twins are so gregarious and so they're there for the social aspect of it, um, but they're all equally motivated.

00:17:10.619 --> 00:17:15.112
Motivated because the sport is, so it can be so inclusive and it can.

00:17:15.112 --> 00:17:25.311
Kids in so many different ways to get them to come back and to be motivated to wake up early and to continue to show up With these ridiculous schedules that you know are six months long.

00:17:25.613 --> 00:17:27.500
Oh yeah, and go ahead, mike, go ahead, my bad no, no.

00:17:27.520 --> 00:17:33.969
I just want to because I it's just like you know, I don't take notes like Lee, so I'm just trying to, I'm trying to go off the the, the piece here.

00:17:33.969 --> 00:17:38.776
I'm gonna take a note on that, I'm speaking here, I don't take notes, so the bit, don't tell my wife.

00:17:38.776 --> 00:17:41.627
So so the, so the the piece there.

00:17:41.627 --> 00:17:42.673
You know you made a great point.

00:17:42.673 --> 00:17:43.817
I think this is something I really harp on.

00:17:43.817 --> 00:17:49.612
All the time is like you have a AAA child and then you have a, you know, let's say a double a child.

00:17:49.652 --> 00:17:50.974
But I'm imagining two double a child.

00:17:52.163 --> 00:18:05.073
Double, double trouble there and but and I'm not saying it's not like a, you know, but it is a big drop-off in, like the, the, I guess, the intensity of it and and you mentioned, you know, fun, and I think that's the piece we start to miss.

00:18:05.073 --> 00:18:10.010
And you're in the world of all these different people, you know all these different levels.

00:18:10.010 --> 00:18:21.502
Having that ability to know where that fun scale is Compared to the competitive scale and I think that's a great point you made is that these, the vast majority of our kids, just want the Social piece of this.

00:18:21.502 --> 00:18:28.709
They want the, you know, I don't know if they want the structure, but they want the social piece.

00:18:28.709 --> 00:18:29.170
They want to.

00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:30.654
Hey, I had fun, we.

00:18:30.654 --> 00:18:41.204
We won some, we lost some, we learned to lose, we learned to win, we learned that this coach is not great and we learned that this coach is, like, the best person in the world, like that.

00:18:41.204 --> 00:18:45.517
That's the kind of stuff I think we lose sight of sometimes when we forget that.

00:18:45.517 --> 00:19:01.099
You know, hockey is for everyone, but hockey it is for kids it's, it's for, it's for these children to enjoy this time in their life and and not it doesn't always have to have an end game of well, they're playing because they want to get to the quote unquote next level.

00:19:01.099 --> 00:19:03.971
Right, I just want my kids playing.

00:19:03.971 --> 00:19:06.140
So they're playing this winter and then they want to come back and play again.

00:19:06.140 --> 00:19:09.049
I mean, because it it they to your point.

00:19:09.049 --> 00:19:10.474
It's taking time in their day.

00:19:10.474 --> 00:19:13.567
That's positive, you know.

00:19:13.567 --> 00:19:16.539
Hopefully, hopefully, they step on the ice and you know that's 60 minutes is a positive experience.

00:19:16.539 --> 00:19:29.564
Maybe we I think a lot of us lose sight Of the fact that that's really what the core of the game is and in certain families, the one elite child you know, triple a kid, is still the same kid, is still the same kid.

00:19:29.564 --> 00:19:34.988
They're still just, they have just as much fun Going to the rink, they have such as just as much energy.

00:19:34.988 --> 00:19:37.682
They're just not, they just don't.

00:19:37.682 --> 00:19:41.231
They're just not at that level or whatever that level might be at that time.

00:19:41.231 --> 00:19:55.400
But it's a great point, because I think a lot of us have multiple Children, especially when you're in hockey, right, you're like, oh, let's hope that all our kids play hockey, because if they're not, you know, if I got four kids and they're playing four different sports, and then you're really in a whole another world.

00:19:55.400 --> 00:20:00.845
But I think it's like, you know, knowing that you can have all those kids playing Under one umbrella and hopefully.

00:20:00.845 --> 00:20:05.248
Well, it doesn't sound like you did a great job of Hand me down equipment, because you got a goalie and then you got players.

00:20:05.288 --> 00:20:07.011
But two goalies, two skaters yeah.

00:20:07.381 --> 00:20:13.163
Yeah, yeah, so may, okay, so you're, you're, you're, you're getting, you're getting to move it around a little bit then, at least as far as you know, reusing equipment, I guess.

00:20:13.523 --> 00:20:17.073
Well, that's my youngest skater cannot get any of the stick hand me down.

00:20:17.073 --> 00:20:18.926
See, he shoots the other way.

00:20:20.463 --> 00:20:22.022
Oh, poor planning.

00:20:22.022 --> 00:20:22.987
That's a nice investment.

00:20:23.781 --> 00:20:29.443
Yeah, you're gonna say something Sorry, go for it um, no, I was just saying that you know it.

00:20:29.443 --> 00:20:57.460
Really, what I have found in seeing my oldest and then my middles at those two different levels of play is, despite the triple A level being more intense and having a tougher schedule and more training and pressure, what I found is, equally because that's my oldest son's mentality he finds a lot of joy in that, just as much as my double A players find joy with their group.

00:20:57.460 --> 00:21:09.380
It's just because they found their people and they found their people who love the game, kids that are their same age, who share that love and they love it in the same way.

00:21:09.380 --> 00:21:14.204
And that has been really eye-opening for me.

00:21:14.204 --> 00:21:21.352
I would say because to see my oldest son be excited to do a gym workout in addition to the ice time.

00:21:21.352 --> 00:21:39.762
He's around people who take it as seriously as he does, who want to commit to it as much as he does, who are considering their you know what food they're eating and what you know drinks they're drinking or not drinking in the same way that he does, and for him it feels so great.

00:21:39.762 --> 00:21:49.457
You can just tell that he's excited to be around them because nobody is going to judge him for taking it so seriously or say oh, you know you're too.

00:21:49.457 --> 00:21:53.503
You know you're too serious about it, and he has found a new.

00:21:53.503 --> 00:21:57.612
You know he's able to be his authentic self with them all the time.

00:21:58.599 --> 00:22:06.892
Yeah, I love it you brought that up because it's so true that the gauge on fun for kids this is an important point, right.

00:22:06.892 --> 00:22:16.712
It's different for each kid and parents have to remember that their gauge, like your gauge as a parent, doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be your kid's gauge, right.

00:22:16.712 --> 00:22:22.938
But the best pieces of advice I ever got when my kids were younger was someone told me you have to remember they're not you, right.

00:22:22.938 --> 00:22:32.460
A lot of people like to say, oh, you get that from me, you get that from your mom, you get this from this person, and obviously there are traits that are inherited, but that's a separate, whole person, right there.

00:22:32.460 --> 00:22:35.404
They're them, right, and they're going to develop into themselves.

00:22:35.404 --> 00:22:37.608
They're not you or your wife or whatever.

00:22:37.608 --> 00:22:39.393
They're themselves, right.

00:22:40.820 --> 00:22:45.509
And he gets really confusing for you, which adds twins into that whole.

00:22:45.608 --> 00:22:46.391
Oh, I bet.

00:22:46.711 --> 00:22:48.253
She's more complicated, right.

00:22:49.021 --> 00:22:50.828
I struggle with that the most because I'm just like you.

00:22:50.828 --> 00:22:51.712
Can't be your own person.

00:22:51.712 --> 00:22:52.777
Just do what you do.

00:22:52.777 --> 00:22:55.008
Do what I need you to do, so make my life easier.

00:22:55.008 --> 00:22:57.460
So I don't understand why you're going off on these, these other tangents.

00:22:58.162 --> 00:22:59.787
Kim's t-shirt is embrace the chaos.

00:22:59.787 --> 00:23:02.093
Mike's t-shirt is just do what I'm asking you to do.

00:23:02.153 --> 00:23:05.682
Stay in your lane, Stay in your lane, kid no your role.

00:23:06.305 --> 00:23:07.788
No, but it's true.

00:23:07.788 --> 00:23:12.460
I mean, I remember when I was playing and you know, as I matured and got older, I understood this more.

00:23:12.460 --> 00:23:14.544
I loved the hard work.

00:23:14.544 --> 00:23:21.076
I mean I loved it and I'm telling you, I left the rink, I left the gym, I left sometimes in pain, but I was.

00:23:21.076 --> 00:23:28.094
I loved the game, I loved that, right, and I was always confused growing up of other kids, and this is my mistake, my fault.

00:23:28.094 --> 00:23:31.000
I couldn't understand how other people didn't act like that, right.

00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:32.484
It wasn't until I got older that it was like.

00:23:32.484 --> 00:23:33.748
That's not for everybody.

00:23:33.748 --> 00:23:37.223
Some people just want to skate and have a good time and that's okay too, right.

00:23:37.223 --> 00:23:49.211
It took me far too long to kind of understand that and then, and also that that can change over time, right, like, we see this all the time in might the kid who's lazy, in might might be your hardest worker in 10 years.

00:23:49.211 --> 00:23:52.624
You just don't know, right, and vice versa, you know.

00:23:52.624 --> 00:24:02.771
So it's an interesting concept in terms of parenting and kids that listen, I want to dive into your schedule and I want to remind people a few things here before I get into this, because Kim shared this with us.

00:24:02.771 --> 00:24:05.460
It's as crazy as you think, but I have to remind the audience.

00:24:05.460 --> 00:24:10.853
She is a business owner on top of this with five nothing but cake locations.

00:24:10.853 --> 00:24:16.767
By the way, we don't do mid rolls on this and Kim's not paying us, but if you've never been to a nothing but cakes, you need to go.

00:24:16.767 --> 00:24:18.430
All right, you need to have one of those.

00:24:18.430 --> 00:24:22.397
If you pass it, stop by, even get one of the little small ones called what do you call those?

00:24:22.397 --> 00:24:23.460
It's called a bundtlet.

00:24:23.460 --> 00:24:25.344
A bundtlet, I mean it's even.

00:24:25.344 --> 00:24:27.188
It's a genius name.

00:24:27.188 --> 00:24:28.771
If you've never done that, do that.

00:24:28.771 --> 00:24:30.796
I got to reiterate this is not an advertisement.

00:24:30.796 --> 00:24:32.460
This is just me helping all of you listening.

00:24:32.460 --> 00:24:34.948
If you've never had one of those, you're missing out.

00:24:34.948 --> 00:24:35.269
Okay.

00:24:37.222 --> 00:24:43.291
Since we're taking this little moment that nothing but cakes loves to create fundraisers for all of your teams.

00:24:43.291 --> 00:24:45.275
So if you need anybody, we are happy to help you.

00:24:45.500 --> 00:24:47.785
You see that we're providing even more value to the audience now.

00:24:47.785 --> 00:24:48.907
So check them out.

00:24:48.907 --> 00:24:51.881
You won't, you will not be, you will not regret that, okay.

00:24:51.881 --> 00:24:54.464
So again, she's a business owner five locations.

00:24:54.464 --> 00:24:56.028
She is active in her community.

00:24:56.028 --> 00:25:00.074
She has four children to whom are goalies.

00:25:00.074 --> 00:25:02.807
That's how we're walking into this segment here.

00:25:02.807 --> 00:25:07.199
Okay, so this is I'm going to go over the schedule and, kim, if I miss anything or mistake anything, let me know.

00:25:07.199 --> 00:25:09.061
This is how the schedule looks.

00:25:09.061 --> 00:25:11.365
On Monday, the twins have practice.

00:25:11.365 --> 00:25:12.126
That's at one rank.

00:25:12.126 --> 00:25:13.509
That's the slow day.

00:25:13.509 --> 00:25:17.034
On Tuesday, 6am goalie training.

00:25:17.034 --> 00:25:17.594
What was that?

00:25:18.681 --> 00:25:23.792
Today, that Monday now also includes an off ice before the ice time, which was not.

00:25:23.792 --> 00:25:24.776
This is brand new.

00:25:24.776 --> 00:25:28.156
This week that will be for the remainder of the season, so it is a slow day, you're correct.

00:25:29.040 --> 00:25:31.528
All right, monday twins have practice and off ice.

00:25:31.528 --> 00:25:32.529
There's an off ice.

00:25:32.529 --> 00:25:36.460
Okay, so that's one Tuesday 6am goalie training, you heard that right.

00:25:36.460 --> 00:25:40.328
Then Aiden has practice, then Charlie has practice, I'm not mistaken.

00:25:40.328 --> 00:25:42.112
That's three different locations, correct?

00:25:44.703 --> 00:25:49.632
And all three of my two goalies and my defenseman go to that early morning training time.

00:25:49.632 --> 00:25:54.400
My defenseman uses the time as a shooter to improve himself.

00:25:55.964 --> 00:25:57.269
And none of them can drive yet right.

00:25:57.800 --> 00:25:58.060
Correct.

00:25:58.060 --> 00:26:03.432
Oh, I'm like counting down, this is 14 and I am like we're going to be at the door.

00:26:04.584 --> 00:26:05.807
Yeah, so just keep that in mind.

00:26:05.827 --> 00:26:09.269
Wednesday I think so, but I'm doing team driving right now.

00:26:10.603 --> 00:26:13.750
Yeah, mike, mike fears for his life every, every single day.

00:26:13.750 --> 00:26:18.794
Wednesday 4pm goalie training and then Aiden has practice.

00:26:18.794 --> 00:26:20.460
Is that that's two different locations, correct?

00:26:21.461 --> 00:26:24.527
Yes, so we live in Springfield, delaware County.

00:26:24.527 --> 00:26:32.420
That afternoon training is in Hatfield, pennsylvania, and then his practice is in New Jersey.

00:26:33.723 --> 00:26:34.527
Wow, yeah, that's a good point.

00:26:34.527 --> 00:26:35.269
We didn't even mention that.

00:26:35.269 --> 00:26:37.625
Thursday, 6am goalie training again.

00:26:37.625 --> 00:26:43.323
Charlie the youngest has practice, the twins have practice, everybody's practicing that day and then there's school hockey practice.

00:26:43.323 --> 00:26:46.048
So that's four different practices.

00:26:46.048 --> 00:26:50.074
That's your busy day, I guess, of practice.

00:26:50.074 --> 00:26:55.126
Friday, aiden's team has office and on ice practice again a little bit slow.

00:26:55.126 --> 00:27:02.242
And then you get to the weekend where it's written here games, games, games all over the place, and you're looking and you actually get lucky.

00:27:02.242 --> 00:27:05.229
At least three ranks, that's if you get lucky.

00:27:05.229 --> 00:27:07.813
Sometimes you have a game or two at the same rank in this location.

00:27:07.813 --> 00:27:15.391
But that's your week without your job, right, and it's now seems like the app time to mention to that.

00:27:15.391 --> 00:27:20.022
Your husband is insanely involved, obviously, and I see him all the time as well.

00:27:20.022 --> 00:27:23.570
Another loving, caring parent who cares deeply for his children.

00:27:23.570 --> 00:27:25.923
But that that is a sketch, kim.

00:27:25.923 --> 00:27:27.709
That would be a full time schedule without a job.

00:27:27.709 --> 00:27:31.163
Agreed, how you got to let the?

00:27:31.163 --> 00:27:32.425
How do you coordinate this?

00:27:32.425 --> 00:27:38.074
I mean, you hinted at it earlier that you have people help you, but I mean, are you guys getting up at 430 every morning together and then go in a bed at?

00:27:38.453 --> 00:27:38.994
4am.

00:27:38.994 --> 00:27:47.383
You know we're not all getting up at 430, usually will and I rotate and you know that's how we we plan it out.

00:27:47.383 --> 00:27:54.030
So, number one, we use a Google calendar and everything is imported and shared that way we can all see it.

00:27:54.030 --> 00:28:02.741
We do have all of our kids have Team Snap on their phones the older ones that have phones so that they don't have to ask us what time is my practice, what do I have?

00:28:02.741 --> 00:28:09.013
They are responsible for knowing and being part of you know the planning and getting it done and being prepared.

00:28:10.441 --> 00:28:10.801
Love that.

00:28:10.981 --> 00:28:14.227
On the logistical side, because it just is so much.

00:28:14.227 --> 00:28:18.532
I mean, nobody's helping us in the mornings, because I don't think we could find somebody to hire to do that.

00:28:18.532 --> 00:28:20.455
Even everybody's got a price.

00:28:20.455 --> 00:28:26.092
Yeah, exactly, but we're already paying for the gold community, so I think that we're like at the limit on the budget for that.

00:28:26.092 --> 00:28:44.461
I don't know if I'm studying more into that, but we do lean on we we have somebody that helps us three days a week in the afternoon, so she may, and, lee, you have helped her potentially in the locker room or at the ring to make sure that our youngest is on the ice, and you know he has all the money on that he should have.

00:28:44.461 --> 00:28:46.522
So we do use hired help.

00:28:46.522 --> 00:28:53.570
And then, of course, we coordinate with all of our hockey family and we never hesitate to reach out and ask.

00:28:53.570 --> 00:29:10.263
That's one of our first calls to make if we see that there's a conflict or something is going on, because I think that one of the things that will and I do very consciously, and this week is a good example on Wednesday I did have games to Philadelphia Union game for my youngest.

00:29:10.263 --> 00:29:20.542
He loves watching all pro sports and it was over the summer and the game got postponed, so it's postponed to Wednesday and you know we're not going to.

00:29:20.542 --> 00:29:23.246
We're not going to say, oh well, he has to miss out on that.

00:29:23.246 --> 00:29:27.932
That's a moment that we had planned to make a memory with him and we're not going to change it.

00:29:27.932 --> 00:29:30.915
So will is going to take him to that, which would leave me free.

00:29:30.915 --> 00:29:41.769
But additionally, through all my networking and things, I got tickets to see the preview for Cirque du Soleil for me and my twins and I don't want them to have to miss that.

00:29:41.769 --> 00:29:48.037
So we have already coordinated with somebody from our hockey family to take our oldest and you know.

00:29:48.037 --> 00:29:57.729
So I think that we really rely on making choices that are going to help us manage our schedule, because what I never want hockey to do is subtract from our lives.

00:29:57.729 --> 00:30:01.692
Hockey has been such an amazing addition to our lives.

00:30:01.692 --> 00:30:08.583
While logistically it is a nightmare, it is worth every effort to do it.

00:30:08.583 --> 00:30:16.973
But I never want to miss out on other opportunities because of it, and I think that that's a trap that a lot of parents and families can find themselves in.

00:30:16.973 --> 00:30:23.027
So I don't want anybody to look at our crazy schedule and think that it means that we say no to other things.

00:30:23.027 --> 00:30:23.948
We do, of course.

00:30:23.948 --> 00:30:27.453
Naturally that happens because you can only fit so much into your day.

00:30:27.453 --> 00:30:30.501
But you have to make the good choices.

00:30:30.501 --> 00:30:31.323
You have to.

00:30:31.323 --> 00:30:43.914
You know in your mind, you know where your priority list is in terms of kind of a hierarchy of what you're saying yes to when things conflict, and make sure that you know there is some balance.

00:30:43.914 --> 00:30:51.932
I won't say it's like a true balance, but where at night when you go to bed and you know your heart feels good and you can put your head down and feel like you know what we made the right choice.

00:30:53.480 --> 00:31:06.257
And you must have, you must have obviously done your research to make sure that the teams that the kids are on don't have these crazy policies where if you miss a practice, you miss a month of games or you know there's no flexibility.

00:31:06.257 --> 00:31:11.223
And you know, because that's so important, because you're absolutely right, you have to have you know.

00:31:11.223 --> 00:31:20.615
Us as coaches and administrators and people that run these youth hockey programs have to understand that you can't and I used to do this when I was young, like when I first got into coaching, before I had kids.

00:31:20.615 --> 00:31:24.121
I'm like, oh Jesus, I said seven o'clock tonight, just throw an email out there.

00:31:24.121 --> 00:31:25.443
Hey, guys, practice that at seven.

00:31:25.443 --> 00:31:29.993
And I got like 18 parents like their heads exploding, like are you crazy?

00:31:29.993 --> 00:31:32.420
Like how can you just add this to my schedule?

00:31:32.420 --> 00:31:35.006
And I never really thought about it from a parent perspective.

00:31:35.006 --> 00:31:36.628
I'm like, no, don't you want to be at the rank?

00:31:36.628 --> 00:31:37.971
Like why wouldn't you want to be at the rank?

00:31:37.971 --> 00:31:43.352
And then I'm, then I'm like, oh, you have other kids, oh, you have a job, oh, you do other things outside of the ring.

00:31:43.352 --> 00:31:45.905
I think a lot of us forget, especially the young coaches, right?

00:31:45.905 --> 00:31:51.460
They think, oh, yeah, I love going to, you know tournaments every weekend, or I'll do this or I can add in another practice schedule.

00:31:51.460 --> 00:31:53.563
But you know to your point, kim.

00:31:53.563 --> 00:31:55.704
You know obviously the coordination of all that.

00:31:55.704 --> 00:32:18.460
But also picking and choosing where your kids play is so important because you have to understand the parameters of what the consequences are to have a real life and make sure that you can have a balanced life because, honestly, that's the most, it's not the most important thing sometimes that people running the teams it's it, although we say it is it's the most important piece to being a parent and to having kids.

00:32:18.460 --> 00:32:28.892
So I think it's really so important to hear that message that you know you're not denying your family the opportunity to do these special things because of some rigid.

00:32:28.892 --> 00:32:36.460
You know well, you have a practice on Thursday night, so for the next 28 weeks, on Thursdays there is just nothing else that can happen.

00:32:36.460 --> 00:32:53.057
And I think that's so important for us as coaches and administrators to remember too that you need to build in not only the schedule for that, but also build in the communication, if that's allowed, because most parents, if you don't communicate it to like oh my God, what do I do?

00:32:53.057 --> 00:32:53.419
What do I do?

00:32:53.419 --> 00:33:00.127
What do I do like like, if I mispractice, is this going to affect my kid and how's that going to trickle down and what are the other parents going to say?

00:33:00.127 --> 00:33:07.017
So I think it's so important for everybody to kind of communicate within that, within that organization, that this is okay, it's not.

00:33:07.017 --> 00:33:09.460
You can't, you know, you can't just miss 15 weeks of Thursday nights.

00:33:09.460 --> 00:33:13.507
They don't take Taekwondo every Thursday and miss my Thursday practice, hockey practice.

00:33:13.507 --> 00:33:18.255
But there are there are ways to schedule around that and we encourage that.

00:33:18.255 --> 00:33:21.326
So I think that's great that you're able to find those organizations.

00:33:21.326 --> 00:33:23.010
I hope that that will do that for you.

00:33:24.020 --> 00:33:25.084
Yeah, I think that you're right, mike.

00:33:25.084 --> 00:33:26.909
I think that as parents we do.

00:33:26.909 --> 00:33:37.210
And you know the thing I think that is most different about hockey and again, I'm not an expert in the other sports as a parent but you know we're so die hard about this.

00:33:37.210 --> 00:33:39.212
We, you know, we live, eat and breathe it.

00:33:39.212 --> 00:33:43.721
We dedicate so much of our life to it and you know we're all in.

00:33:43.721 --> 00:34:05.332
So I do think that as parents who you know your child is not responsible for driving themselves or for what time they get anywhere we do feel a burden and a responsibility and we do have concerns because we're investing so much time and money and effort into it that it could adversely, you know, affect them if we miss anything.

00:34:05.332 --> 00:34:29.342
And I do think that you know to your point good communication, clear communication, and almost celebrating people when they're having things that are important, confirmations, first communions, whatever it happens to be in their life, because I think it really you know saying to a group and to your team at the onset of the year hey, if you have a conflict, just communicate it, let us know.

00:34:29.342 --> 00:34:51.440
We want you to be able to, you know not, you know, don't come to practice if you are having, you know an important family function, but I think you know, going even a step beyond and celebrating that gives the rest of us who are not having that you know, time away from the team, the the permission for when it's our turn to feel better about doing it.

00:34:52.440 --> 00:34:58.710
I just want to add one more thing, because this just literally happened to me last week as a coach being asked about like so I'm the assistant coach in this team.

00:34:58.710 --> 00:35:02.034
So I'm not a great assistant coach, I'll be, I'll be very honest.

00:35:02.034 --> 00:35:04.737
But I but I like the.

00:35:04.737 --> 00:35:11.306
I like the fact that I don't have to be like people actually come to me, like before nobody ever came to me ever like, oh my god, like this guy's a lunatic.

00:35:11.306 --> 00:35:12.449
But now I'm kind of like.

00:35:12.449 --> 00:35:13.851
I'm kind of like the easy guy.

00:35:13.851 --> 00:35:16.916
You know I can be in the rank of the power because we think coach thinks about this.

00:35:16.916 --> 00:35:22.463
And so one of the parents like hey, listen, we got, we might have opportunity for tickets to a game on Tuesday.

00:35:22.463 --> 00:35:23.686
We have practice on Tuesday.

00:35:23.686 --> 00:35:24.306
What do you think?

00:35:24.306 --> 00:35:28.331
They want to go to NHL game and my only advice is listen, it's a long season.

00:35:28.331 --> 00:35:31.376
You really got to pick and choose when you want to miss those dates.

00:35:31.376 --> 00:35:32.882
It's just like school, right?

00:35:32.882 --> 00:35:38.208
If you, if you miss every, if you miss 13 Fridays to go to hockey tournaments, it will affect you.

00:35:38.208 --> 00:35:59.739
If you miss two and you communicated that and planned it out and you pick and choose when you're going to miss, that becomes so much less stressful for everyone involved and like so you know, and so if it's a, if you're going to go to a hockey game, but you're going to 16 of them, maybe don't miss this practice, because this is a really important practice for you because of where your kid is like kind of in the pecking order right now.

00:35:59.739 --> 00:36:05.567
Now, later on, you know, maybe you plan it out and get in your pick and choose, like, oh, we only have one game next Saturday.

00:36:05.567 --> 00:36:09.411
This Tuesday might be the good day to miss practice, like and but that takes.

00:36:09.411 --> 00:36:10.893
It takes planning.

00:36:10.893 --> 00:36:12.114
We talked about all time, right, lee?

00:36:12.114 --> 00:36:19.851
It takes communication, it takes you can't just live your life waking up in the morning and say, oh, okay, my seven kids have practice and what do I do?

00:36:19.851 --> 00:36:20.771
So I think it's just.

00:36:20.771 --> 00:36:25.420
But I think also, as coaches, need to do that to like okay, I have 18 families responsible for me.

00:36:25.420 --> 00:36:30.505
I can't just tell them on Monday what we're doing Wednesday, and I think that's you know.

00:36:30.505 --> 00:36:47.527
All those pieces really come into play, especially in hockey or any sport, any competitive sport, that scheduling really becomes so important because things can't just, you know, pop up, like I used to joke all the time, like if my, if my wife doesn't see it on the calendar, it doesn't exist.

00:36:47.527 --> 00:36:50.309
Like you cannot do it because it doesn't exist.

00:36:50.309 --> 00:36:51.771
Like that's no, no, that doesn't.

00:36:51.771 --> 00:36:54.295
That doesn't have nothing to do with me, you figure it out.

00:36:54.295 --> 00:37:00.956
So I think it's so important for us to see that and me, like I have no responsibility for anything like oh, they have dentist appointments at four o'clock in the afternoon.

00:37:00.956 --> 00:37:01.577
They can't go to that.

00:37:01.577 --> 00:37:02.440
You know, special hockey event?

00:37:02.440 --> 00:37:05.722
No, they have a dentist appointment that's been scheduled for two months.

00:37:05.722 --> 00:37:07.565
Like so I think that's it's.

00:37:07.565 --> 00:37:07.945
It's.

00:37:07.945 --> 00:37:11.628
All of us, as hockey people, have to understand that that scheduling, that communication is so important.

00:37:11.628 --> 00:37:16.594
But you do it when you can, but think about, don't take advantage of it.

00:37:16.594 --> 00:37:17.855
You know, pick and choose.

00:37:18.295 --> 00:37:30.976
You know when you're gonna have those special days for the kids pivot is that when we start to be concerned more for our kids' ice time or their play time, they're also at an age where they're old enough to start to communicate for themselves.

00:37:30.976 --> 00:37:32.353
So I think that that's.

00:37:32.353 --> 00:37:48.219
The other important piece in our household is, if we're having to miss anything, whether it's elective or, you know, because there's a conflict, we are having conversations in our house with our boys that are 12 and older, saying, hey, what choice do we wanna make?

00:37:48.219 --> 00:37:50.016
Why will we make these choices?

00:37:50.016 --> 00:37:58.137
So that they can begin to process, you know, those decision-making skills and because we're making the choice as a family.

00:37:58.137 --> 00:38:11.559
And then we do help them to reach out to their coach, where we might be with them when they're having a conversation, or we might help them create the TeamSTAT message to reach out to them and begin that communication.

00:38:11.559 --> 00:38:21.498
And for my 14-year-old, he does it very easily on his own now and we don't even have to, you know, we just make sure that he does it but and he has a great relationship with his coach.

00:38:21.498 --> 00:38:31.811
So I think, as long as the coaches are understanding that, not only are they a coach on the ice, but what I love about the best coaches that we've had are that they are.

00:38:31.811 --> 00:38:37.757
I'm doing my part as a parent at home to have these communications, to create this communication skill set.

00:38:37.757 --> 00:39:03.597
But then, when they're supporting it by acknowledging and saying to my 12-year-old hey, this is really great, I'm so glad that you reached out to me, you did a good job in being clear, or, hey, if next time when you reach out to me, this is what I would like to see, and giving him those parameters, and, but mostly it's just that positivity, because it's letting them know this is a good thing and it just encourages them more to do it.

00:39:03.597 --> 00:39:10.034
You know at any other point in time that they need to, and that's a life skill set and that's what, of course, you know, all of us say in hockey.

00:39:10.034 --> 00:39:16.657
That's why we're really here, because they're building life skills and this is one of the ways that I have found it really valuable for my kids.

00:39:17.389 --> 00:39:19.115
So, kim, I'll say this I got a page.

00:39:19.115 --> 00:39:21.876
I know it's now, but I got to comment on a few of these things.

00:39:21.876 --> 00:39:34.480
But one is that you just reminded me as a coach, something that as a coach, it's easy for us to forget sometimes that how hard it is for a young child to come to us.

00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:39.378
And I want all the parents listening to know that I'm talking about the kids, not the parent.

00:39:39.378 --> 00:39:47.155
I love it when a player comes to me, they talks to me about their goals or what they want, even if they're nervous.

00:39:47.155 --> 00:39:52.014
The fact that they can come talk to me, to me as a coach, that's a huge win, that they can feel comfortable.

00:39:52.014 --> 00:39:54.034
But again, easy to forget that.

00:39:54.034 --> 00:40:01.139
You know, as an adult, it's hard for a 10 year old or a 15 year old sometimes to approach you because you're the coach, you're the adult.

00:40:01.139 --> 00:40:03.637
There is a slight intimidation factor there.

00:40:03.637 --> 00:40:07.039
You know you have control over this person's ice time.

00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:14.657
So just to echo, kim, to the parents listening, and I don't think there's ever a time that you're too young to be realistic about this.

00:40:14.657 --> 00:40:22.197
I think even in might, I want the kids to be able to feel comfortable talking to me, encourage your child in the right way.

00:40:22.197 --> 00:40:25.579
I got to say it like that to talk to the coach.

00:40:25.579 --> 00:40:31.237
That might mean calling or texting or whatever and saying, hey, can I meet with you before the next practice?

00:40:31.237 --> 00:40:38.119
You're gonna learn a lot about your coach if they say no to that, by the way, all right and just so you know, I've never had a coach Actually, only one time.

00:40:38.119 --> 00:40:39.873
Only one time had a coach say no to that.

00:40:39.873 --> 00:40:44.617
All right, they weren't a very good coach, but my point is I want to hear from the kids.

00:40:44.617 --> 00:40:48.637
The other thing, kim, I got to bring this up and I talk about this a lot on my other channels.

00:40:48.637 --> 00:41:01.032
You'll notice in your intro I never used the phrase work-life balance, and there's a reason why because I don't think work-life balance is a thing I think we all say that I think it's fairy dust, it doesn't exist.

00:41:01.032 --> 00:41:15.217
I do believe in priority balance and to me, you are someone that if there was a Mount Rushmore of people with priority balance, your family would be on it Because, as you've said, we know exactly where our priorities lie.

00:41:15.217 --> 00:41:16.735
Our family comes first.

00:41:16.735 --> 00:41:19.556
Two, hockey is not number two.

00:41:19.556 --> 00:41:25.052
Right, growing up and experiences and ROI on hockey being life skills.

00:41:25.052 --> 00:41:28.275
That's the next thing, and then it's also we're well-rounded.

00:41:28.275 --> 00:41:29.994
I love that you said Cirque du Soleil.

00:41:29.994 --> 00:41:31.934
You know it's funny, mike.

00:41:31.934 --> 00:41:33.594
We don't talk about this enough on the show.

00:41:33.594 --> 00:41:47.036
We talk about making well-rounded athletes and how you should do other sports, but we don't ever talk about the other extracurricular things like music and acting and the arts right, and how important it is.

00:41:47.036 --> 00:41:49.579
I care about it, mike, I care about it.

00:41:49.579 --> 00:41:51.838
No, you know, honestly, Wait, wait, wait.

00:41:51.900 --> 00:41:54.846
I just gotta say something, because my family I can't wait for this, Mike.

00:41:57.175 --> 00:41:57.958
I just gotta say.

00:41:58.179 --> 00:42:11.081
I just gotta say my family listens to this to rip me all the time right About my speaking, but all my whole family's artists and musicians and I'm literally the only one that can't draw a stick figure.

00:42:11.081 --> 00:42:17.500
So you know I have artists, musicians, I have actresses, my whole family's in the arts.

00:42:17.500 --> 00:42:25.675
So and again, my best athletes have always been the lead in the school play model, un president, debate club winner.

00:42:25.675 --> 00:42:31.398
Like that's the best people that I recruit when I go after players are the best people.

00:42:31.398 --> 00:42:32.635
They're the most well-rounded.

00:42:32.635 --> 00:42:39.315
They're not a hockey player ready to explode when they blow their knee out at 11th grade and can no longer play the game again.

00:42:39.315 --> 00:42:43.458
So I just wanted to preface that because it'll get cut the wrong way on my side.

00:42:44.594 --> 00:42:45.416
I appreciate you saying that.

00:42:45.416 --> 00:42:50.739
Actually, you're making my point and Kim's point here, and I'm gonna say this too, because a lot of times people will how does that help with hockey?

00:42:50.739 --> 00:42:52.396
Which is not the right mentality at all.

00:42:52.396 --> 00:43:00.579
But it does, because you're learning how to be creative and your ability to apply creativity of the game, especially at the higher levels, is really important.

00:43:00.579 --> 00:43:17.833
I was just listening to John Tortorello do a press conference head coach of the Flyers, jokes aside and he was talking about his elite level defenseman and how what he wants to see is creativity within the constraints of the system, and that that's what separates a guy who plays every night from a guy who doesn't.

00:43:17.833 --> 00:43:27.777
So, just being a formulaic player, it does exactly what you're supposed to do, but while I'm not knocking that, that's not the full picture, right?

00:43:27.777 --> 00:43:28.713
You want to allow?

00:43:28.713 --> 00:43:35.036
I say this as a coach all the time I want you to be creative within the space you're given, because that's what makes a great player.

00:43:35.036 --> 00:43:38.273
And again, so, kim, just bringing it back, this is the point I wanted to say.

00:43:38.273 --> 00:43:40.817
I love that you have that priority balance.

00:43:40.817 --> 00:43:45.376
I love that you exposed your children to things other than just hockey.

00:43:45.376 --> 00:43:52.958
We didn't even get into the like, just the business aspect of your life which I'm sure they're very, very much attuned to, or they're around all the time, right?

00:43:52.958 --> 00:43:55.735
So for the parents listening, kim, I'd love to get your thoughts on this.

00:43:55.735 --> 00:43:57.556
It's all about priority balance.

00:43:57.556 --> 00:44:03.416
You really need to decide and this can change year to year like what are the priorities in the household?

00:44:03.416 --> 00:44:08.014
All right, because that's how you start to divide the time in your mind, right?

00:44:08.014 --> 00:44:10.972
It's not work-life balance, that's it's.

00:44:10.972 --> 00:44:13.353
You're never going to succeed with work-life balance.

00:44:13.353 --> 00:44:15.657
You're just going to feel horrible all the time.

00:44:15.657 --> 00:44:17.576
Kim, you're the master at this.

00:44:17.576 --> 00:44:19.173
Please, any comments you have on that?

00:44:20.070 --> 00:44:22.237
Well, you know, I always say my kids love hockey.

00:44:22.237 --> 00:44:27.896
Right, they always want hockey to be their focus, and I think that's amazing and I love that and that's why we spend so much time in the sport.

00:44:27.896 --> 00:44:34.193
But, you know, when there's this, what I call a unicorn of an off season, because I don't really think there is one.

00:44:35.429 --> 00:44:36.454
You have a day here or there.

00:44:36.514 --> 00:44:40.981
yeah, I too, you know, I, we, they do.

00:44:40.981 --> 00:44:45.235
They have played lacrosse and other more scheduled sports, I would say, or seasonal sports.

00:44:45.235 --> 00:44:48.298
That has sometimes worked for us and sometimes not.

00:44:48.298 --> 00:44:55.150
However, we try to participate in what we call lifetime sports, which means you know if that so.

00:44:55.150 --> 00:44:59.195
Taekwondo is one of them, golf is one of them, surfing is one of them.

00:44:59.195 --> 00:45:13.295
We do things that allow tennis, racquetball, you know, pickleball, all these things that where we can dictate the schedule on them or we can do them, you know, for three weeks and then not do them again and then come back to it a month later.

00:45:13.295 --> 00:45:26.097
Because I do believe that all that hand-eye coordination and all of these other and just being around other people and other athletes, you know, if you're a great hockey player, you're a great athlete, you know.

00:45:26.097 --> 00:45:37.295
So having you know input and experience and time in other spaces and places only builds if hockey is your focus.

00:45:37.295 --> 00:46:04.793
And if it doesn't end up being your focus, then you have these other experiences to decide where you wanna change your focus and how you might wanna maneuver from something, because when you live a life in hockey that is so all-encompassing and then you step away from it for whatever reason, that is, whether it's injury, whether it's a choice, because of something negative or that happened, or just because of whatever it is finance you move, I don't know.

00:46:04.793 --> 00:46:13.655
I want my kids to be able to maneuver and know, maybe, where they have other interests or talents, and music is one of them too.

00:46:13.655 --> 00:46:26.579
All of my boys play the ukulele very well, and they've played other instruments as well, but again it's because they can pick up a ukulele and they can take it with us on a road trip or to a tournament and they can have it with them.

00:46:26.579 --> 00:46:35.719
So we're purposefully choosing things that we can acclimate into our life with the most ease as possible.

00:46:36.311 --> 00:46:37.215
I wanna be with your team.

00:46:37.215 --> 00:46:41.639
I wanna be with your team on a weekend up at a hotel, at the ukulele, out in the lobby.

00:46:41.639 --> 00:46:42.420
That's what I wanted to do.

00:46:42.420 --> 00:46:43.760
Geez, that's pretty cool.

00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:59.862
I mean and that's my point too right, we had a player, I think you know, a couple of years back and one of my high school kids played the electric guitar and he played the you know the star-spangled banner in his hockey equipment on the ice, like plugged into the speaker.

00:46:59.862 --> 00:47:00.568
That's awesome.

00:47:00.750 --> 00:47:03.634
Please tell me there's video of that somewhere there's somewhere I don't know.

00:47:03.655 --> 00:47:04.097
Somebody has.

00:47:04.097 --> 00:47:09.336
I shouldn't say a couple of years ago, this is back in my other life, but I think it's like it's just.

00:47:09.336 --> 00:47:12.255
But those are the kind of things like I love to embrace, those things.

00:47:12.255 --> 00:47:16.376
Like I just did a survey for a new program I'm working with and that's the whole survey.

00:47:16.376 --> 00:47:17.715
I don't think I even mentioned about hockey.

00:47:17.715 --> 00:47:19.396
Like I just want to know what are your interests?

00:47:19.396 --> 00:47:19.916
What do you like?

00:47:19.916 --> 00:47:20.833
You're a dog person?

00:47:20.833 --> 00:47:21.576
You're a cat person?

00:47:21.576 --> 00:47:22.572
Are you like?

00:47:22.572 --> 00:47:23.155
Do you play other?

00:47:23.155 --> 00:47:25.172
You know, what other sports do you play Are you?

00:47:25.172 --> 00:47:26.637
Is it your primary sport?

00:47:26.637 --> 00:47:27.875
Is it your secondary sport?

00:47:27.875 --> 00:47:29.293
What other do you love?

00:47:29.293 --> 00:47:30.177
Art, do you love?

00:47:30.177 --> 00:47:30.954
Music, do you love?

00:47:30.954 --> 00:47:44.317
Because this is the kind of stuff that helps us, even in Lee's world of team building, like when you know you're always gonna have that best player right, but if you want to have the best team, other kids on the team have to feel valued.

00:47:44.317 --> 00:47:52.097
So if you can extract what they're great at and build it into your team dynamic, all of a sudden that kid is looked at differently.

00:47:52.097 --> 00:47:56.898
Like they don't have to just be a great goal scorer or a great defender or a great goalie.

00:47:56.898 --> 00:48:04.318
They could be great as something else that we do in a different team building activity and it just elevates them in the mind of the kids.

00:48:04.318 --> 00:48:07.132
They're like, oh my God, this guy's unbelievable at this, like I didn't even knew.

00:48:07.132 --> 00:48:08.737
I didn't even knew we had this talent.

00:48:08.737 --> 00:48:10.536
And because talent is talent right.

00:48:10.536 --> 00:48:22.757
So I think it's just so important to know your players and to what you're doing, kim and your family is, you know, allowing your athletes to be people and to explore all these great other things.

00:48:22.757 --> 00:48:26.034
And I love that idea of, like you know again, it is hard to play.

00:48:26.034 --> 00:48:36.577
You know we joke around with the USA hockey model that we want our kids to be multi-sport athletes, but yet we put the hockey programs into a position where you can't be a multi-sport athlete.

00:48:36.577 --> 00:48:41.572
I mean, we have tryouts in April, we start seasons in August, like it doesn't.

00:48:41.572 --> 00:48:46.335
It's not conducive to be a three-season athlete the way we've designed the sport.

00:48:46.335 --> 00:48:53.677
But tennis, golf, badminton, archery, whatever it is, do those other things.

00:48:53.677 --> 00:49:05.231
And if you can schedule it around your crazy schedule and make it a part of their daily thing that they do for life, sport, I think that's so important and that's great, because I think it's just at the end of the day.

00:49:05.231 --> 00:49:12.168
It does make a better athlete, it does make a better hockey player, but and Lee says this all the time it just makes a better person and yeah nothing.

00:49:12.168 --> 00:49:14.757
It's just an opportunity to be a different person.

00:49:15.329 --> 00:49:22.456
Yeah, as a business owner I do a lot of networking and I talk to a lot of people and I have it, I'm lucky, I have an amazing product that I am able to provide.

00:49:22.456 --> 00:49:30.715
But what I always say is you know, you can go to a lot of places to get cake for your birthday, to celebrate somebody at the office, to you know, for corporate gifting.

00:49:30.715 --> 00:49:49.936
But when I meet people and the reason I tell my boys that you wanna learn other things and kind of have an interest in other things, so that when you talk to people you can connect with them Because, right, you might be all about hockey but maybe that's that teammate and you're not, like you know, totally in sync.

00:49:49.936 --> 00:49:55.932
But maybe you learn that you like the same music or maybe you, like you said, you're both into archery or whatever it is.

00:49:55.932 --> 00:50:14.840
Now you've made a connection and so, and I try to share with them that in the business world, when I network, I'm just trying to meet people and learn about them and for them to learn about me, the cake is secondary, because now if they say, oh, she's a hockey mom or she's a sport parent or she's a boy mom, now they're gonna say, wait, what does she do?

00:50:14.840 --> 00:50:24.835
And maybe I'm gonna, maybe I wanna work with her, right, Because now we've connected on a personal level and that's the other piece that I think is really important to doing other things.

00:50:24.835 --> 00:50:39.436
Because hockey we're so intense about it and you know it gets competitive no matter what level you're at it allows the boys and girls to have a different connection that's separate from the hockey, Because at some point they will conflict.

00:50:39.971 --> 00:50:46.661
I was gonna say, kim, this might have been one of the first times you were introduced as a hockey parent first, and then award winning business owner because of that.

00:50:46.661 --> 00:50:57.137
But you're making a great point and you know there's a cautionary tale here, because I have played with and met, when I was younger, players who only did hockey.

00:50:57.137 --> 00:51:11.335
I mean, it was their life and I'm gonna tell you I'm not, this isn't a shot at them, but they could not carry a conversation about anything other than the game and it could become frustrating at times for them and for the people around us because they had no other interest.

00:51:11.335 --> 00:51:23.096
And then the cautionary side of it is the game ends for all of us at some point and it would terrify me that if I was whether it was 18 or 40, and I couldn't talk about anything else.

00:51:23.096 --> 00:51:26.137
I mean we can't do that to our kids.

00:51:26.137 --> 00:51:26.471
We can't.

00:51:26.471 --> 00:51:29.338
We have to open them up to other experiences and things like that.

00:51:29.338 --> 00:51:35.199
Another thing I love about talking to Kim is that you know anyone listening to this can't just go.

00:51:35.199 --> 00:51:36.615
Well, yeah, I mean it's easy for her.

00:51:36.615 --> 00:51:38.195
No, she's got four kids in a business.

00:51:38.195 --> 00:51:41.338
This is like a no excuses episode for everyone, including me.

00:51:41.338 --> 00:51:51.619
One thing I wanna touch back on was earlier in the episode you had said that the kids are somewhat responsible for their schedule on the digital calendar.

00:51:51.619 --> 00:51:53.297
So here's a parent question.

00:51:53.297 --> 00:51:59.311
This is actually me actually asking you, even though we're on the air how do you handle mistakes, right?

00:51:59.311 --> 00:52:02.858
How do you handle, hey, the elbow pad, the glove didn't make it in the bag.

00:52:02.858 --> 00:52:05.197
How do you handle and misread the calendar?

00:52:05.197 --> 00:52:07.476
I mean, it's gotta happen, right?

00:52:07.476 --> 00:52:08.992
You know that's something.

00:52:08.992 --> 00:52:12.456
Again, I'm in the first season now where both the kids are playing right.

00:52:12.456 --> 00:52:16.137
Last year and the year before it was really just one within reason, right?

00:52:16.137 --> 00:52:19.539
So how do you handle mistakes or mishaps, or hiccups?

00:52:23.132 --> 00:52:27.574
You text your husband and say huh, see I, just, that's my own.

00:52:27.574 --> 00:52:29.733
This was your responsibility I've never had that happen to me.

00:52:30.889 --> 00:52:31.130
Never.

00:52:31.130 --> 00:52:40.414
I'm sure you know one thing that I always say, and if my bakery teams ever hear this, they're gonna say there she goes.

00:52:40.414 --> 00:52:48.771
I always say mistakes are great because they're a place where we can have the most growth right we can be.

00:52:48.771 --> 00:52:55.014
If we're successful every day, that's wonderful, but in order to have true growth, we have to make the mistakes.

00:52:55.014 --> 00:52:59.797
And mistakes are where the learning happens, and all I can ask is that we don't repeat them.

00:52:59.797 --> 00:53:16.018
So, as you know, I think that at work actually it's a lot easier for me than at home, because home is like it's emotional and they're, you know, they're my kids, so I don't always have the HR hat on, you know, when the frustration bubbles up and all those things.

00:53:16.230 --> 00:53:16.952
The HR hat.

00:53:16.952 --> 00:53:17.896
I liked that.

00:53:17.896 --> 00:53:18.637
I understand that.

00:53:18.637 --> 00:53:19.853
I do understand that.

00:53:21.130 --> 00:53:22.896
All and it's really interesting.

00:53:22.896 --> 00:53:30.333
In addition to some of the other things that you shared about me, I also do some writing for some local publications and my.

00:53:30.333 --> 00:54:06.362
The article that I'm currently working on is called from manager to momager, and I'm really writing about how, as I've developed as a professional and I've had to develop a lot of these HR skills and management skills in order to understand people, understand myself, et cetera, in order to set them up for success, I'm now translating a lot of that to my household, now that my boys are of an age where I feel like they need to be more responsible and the burden needs to be more with them and grow more with them than with me, especially regarding school hockey and everyday preparation in our household.

00:54:06.362 --> 00:54:08.601
So you're right, mistakes happen.

00:54:08.601 --> 00:54:13.304
I mean, that's just the nature of having a crazy logistical schedule.

00:54:13.304 --> 00:54:19.862
I think that the best thing that we can do for our kids is set them up for success.

00:54:19.862 --> 00:54:31.706
So mistakes are going to happen, but, just like at work, I can't give somebody a warning if I haven't given them the opportunity to truly succeed.

00:54:31.706 --> 00:54:38.302
So, and I'm gonna really break it down for you and it's funny that you asked that because, like I said, I'm writing this article.

00:54:38.302 --> 00:54:40.402
So I really had to put pen to paper on it, literally.

00:54:40.402 --> 00:54:46.409
And it's all about how am I communicating it?

00:54:46.409 --> 00:54:48.958
Is it verbal, is it written?

00:54:48.958 --> 00:54:50.480
Is it via Team Snap?

00:54:50.480 --> 00:54:53.262
And how does my child need to hear it?

00:54:53.262 --> 00:54:55.840
Are they audio, are they visual?

00:54:55.840 --> 00:54:57.481
Are they tactile learners?

00:54:57.481 --> 00:55:00.945
And making sure that I am giving them whatever they need.

00:55:00.945 --> 00:55:02.902
So Team Snap is one of them.

00:55:02.902 --> 00:55:04.360
We use a lot of lists.

00:55:04.360 --> 00:55:10.663
So and again, you can imagine that I create a list, I laminate it and then we use an expo marker.

00:55:10.663 --> 00:55:20.583
So, for example, if we're gonna go on a tournament trip, I have a list, it's printed out and it says trip planning and it says there's a blank, and it says shorts and blank and pants.

00:55:20.583 --> 00:55:31.500
And then I give the expo marker how many they might need, and I give it to them the Thursday before we leave and I say go get your duffel bag and fill it up with these items and we check it before they leave.

00:55:31.500 --> 00:55:41.159
So again, I'm still making sure that they didn't bring shorts instead of pants when we're going to Michigan, but that they didn't.

00:55:41.159 --> 00:55:44.561
They brought two, no holes in their socks, et cetera.

00:55:44.561 --> 00:55:47.523
But they're doing kind of the heavy lifting piece, right.

00:55:47.523 --> 00:55:50.764
They're saying, well, this is a sweater that's my favorite.

00:55:50.764 --> 00:55:54.519
Or then they might give them the opportunity to ask me hey, mom, where's my favorite sweater?

00:55:54.519 --> 00:55:56.639
Oh, I need to have it washed then.

00:55:56.639 --> 00:56:03.655
But it's giving them those steps to get there, because otherwise we're just saying go, pack your bag, be.

00:56:03.655 --> 00:56:07.601
That's the equivalent of a coach on the ice saying skate harder.

00:56:08.659 --> 00:56:11.543
All right, right, but it's so simple, kim, I don't.

00:56:12.436 --> 00:56:15.724
The result that you want is giving that direction right?

00:56:16.394 --> 00:56:17.320
No, it's a great point.

00:56:17.320 --> 00:56:18.438
It's a five-star answer.

00:56:18.438 --> 00:56:29.304
By the way, I'll tell you, it's funny you bring this up to Kim, because I was just giving a friend of mine who has younger kids advice and I said to him that your younger kids can do more than you think they can.

00:56:29.304 --> 00:56:32.561
Just sometimes for us as parents it's just easier to do it.

00:56:32.561 --> 00:56:36.264
But I said that, just know that they can probably do more.

00:56:36.264 --> 00:56:39.601
They could feed the dog, they can take their dishes to the sink.

00:56:39.601 --> 00:56:42.121
It's funny you mentioned that because that conversation reminded me.

00:56:42.121 --> 00:56:49.880
With my son and my daughter we were having some, I'll just say, inconsistencies with getting the bags packed and I was getting very frustrated.

00:56:49.880 --> 00:56:58.461
And what I've learned to do and this is actually just following what you said is that when I get frustrated I actually look at myself and say, okay, what am I not doing?

00:56:58.461 --> 00:57:04.402
It's not always me, but what am I not doing communication-wise, that they're not receiving the information.

00:57:04.402 --> 00:57:05.960
And you made a very important point.

00:57:05.960 --> 00:57:13.505
We always talk about 10 out of 10 problems or communication-based, but people receive and retain information in different ways.

00:57:13.505 --> 00:57:17.960
I've said it before if I see something visually like, I'll give you as a hockey example.

00:57:17.960 --> 00:57:19.420
If you show me a drill.

00:57:19.420 --> 00:57:22.757
I will be able to do it almost immediately If you just tell it to me.

00:57:22.757 --> 00:57:26.239
With nothing on a board, I have a very hard time with that.

00:57:26.239 --> 00:57:27.338
It's just whatever reason.

00:57:27.338 --> 00:57:27.820
I've tried.

00:57:27.820 --> 00:57:33.867
So one of the things I did was I had Logan with me, my son, who has two bags now.

00:57:33.867 --> 00:57:35.621
He has a player bag and he has a goalie bag.

00:57:35.621 --> 00:57:36.780
So you can imagine it can get.

00:57:36.780 --> 00:57:38.862
Sometimes the gear has to go back and forth.

00:57:38.862 --> 00:57:40.199
He'll talk about goalie stuff in a minute.

00:57:40.199 --> 00:57:46.503
And one of the funny things is I said, okay, this is what we're gonna do, we're gonna make a checklist, just like you did.

00:57:46.503 --> 00:57:49.918
But I said, logan, you're going to create it, I'm gonna help you make it.

00:57:49.918 --> 00:57:51.721
So I put the accountability on him.

00:57:51.721 --> 00:57:52.458
I'm okay, what are the?

00:57:52.458 --> 00:57:55.784
And I helped him what are the pieces of equipment you need for this, for that?

00:57:55.784 --> 00:58:02.440
And he actually enjoyed it, which I was kind of half mad, half happy about, because it was like I've been telling you to do this for months.

00:58:02.440 --> 00:58:12.358
But he made the list, he put the list up and now he has the accountability of doing it and I can say to him you made a list, you made that list, not me.

00:58:12.358 --> 00:58:18.818
So I think that little tips like that are really important, not the one I just gave, but all of the ones you said of.

00:58:18.818 --> 00:58:20.264
We find different ways.

00:58:20.264 --> 00:58:30.958
Another quick one was for whatever reason this is now, this is a parent, husband, wife thing for whatever reason, the digital calendar that I've created and spent a lot of time on just wasn't clicking in our house right.

00:58:30.958 --> 00:58:35.021
I was getting very upset about it, but then again I did it as a husband.

00:58:35.021 --> 00:58:38.039
I turned around and I said, all right, what can I do differently?

00:58:38.039 --> 00:58:46.898
Because this again for those listening my wife has an insanely busy job, to the point that checking her phone to check a calendar really is not always the easiest thing to do.

00:58:46.898 --> 00:58:54.824
So I went out to the staples and I was praying they still had those old paper calendars that you can write on.

00:58:54.824 --> 00:58:57.677
I'll share a picture of it in the group and I wrote.

00:58:57.677 --> 00:59:03.318
It's basically just who's dropping the kids off at school, who's picking them up and who has hockey that day, and it has been a dream for us.

00:59:03.318 --> 00:59:04.838
She checks it every day.

00:59:04.838 --> 00:59:05.981
It's worked.

00:59:05.981 --> 00:59:07.300
For whatever reason it's worked.

00:59:08.717 --> 00:59:09.721
Do you physically write it?

00:59:09.721 --> 00:59:14.260
On there, I physically write it, I will give you my pro tip for that, because we also have paper calendar.

00:59:14.481 --> 00:59:14.762
Sure.

00:59:15.155 --> 00:59:16.880
My tip is for repeating events.

00:59:16.880 --> 00:59:18.264
Avery makes labels.

00:59:18.264 --> 00:59:21.320
They're the return address labels and they're 80 on a page.

00:59:21.380 --> 00:59:21.942
That's a good idea.

00:59:22.335 --> 00:59:27.623
You just write Alina's practice and you just do a full sheet and then you just stick them on every Tuesday, Thursday.

00:59:27.775 --> 00:59:31.882
If I make it too easy, I can't complain that I have to do it and get those brownie points at the end of the day.

00:59:31.882 --> 00:59:33.501
No, that's actually a really good suggestion.

00:59:33.974 --> 00:59:35.460
I got hand cramps from the schedule.

00:59:36.114 --> 00:59:38.257
Color code the colors I did that.

00:59:38.855 --> 00:59:43.237
So I have a color coded between when one has practice, the other has practice.

00:59:43.237 --> 00:59:44.201
They both have practice.

00:59:44.201 --> 00:59:49.878
What's funny is that, looking at it, we have big rectangles now over the days where there's no hockey.

00:59:49.878 --> 00:59:53.844
So we have like, wow, there's five days this month.

00:59:53.844 --> 00:59:58.101
That's like a record where we don't have to be anywhere, and naturally we schedule other stuff for those days.

00:59:58.101 --> 01:00:09.143
But the point I'm making, kim and again this is what you've championed here is that it would be easy for me to stomp around the house being like I made this digital calendar.

01:00:09.143 --> 01:00:12.000
It wasn't working and we had to find something that worked.

01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:12.902
Same thing with my kids.

01:00:12.902 --> 01:00:15.182
I told you to put the equipment together.

01:00:15.182 --> 01:00:16.498
It wasn't working.

01:00:16.498 --> 01:00:19.001
I had to find a way that they were gonna receive it.

01:00:19.001 --> 01:00:26.626
That's part of the growth aspect of this, both as a parent and as a player and a child.

01:00:26.626 --> 01:00:36.583
And also I mean, look, there's a million coaching examples of this, mike, we could give that's a whole nother episode, right, but I think it's important we bring this up because it's always changing every year.

01:00:36.583 --> 01:00:36.976
Go ahead.

01:00:37.016 --> 01:00:37.358
Mike start.

01:00:37.358 --> 01:00:45.539
No, I'm just trying to debate the paper versus the digital, but I think it's.

01:00:45.539 --> 01:00:56.664
It all depends on the family and the ages of your kids and the fact that, to me, I'm aghast when I find out like a team doesn't have a digital app.

01:00:56.664 --> 01:00:59.273
That's amazing, Like how are you even living?

01:00:59.355 --> 01:01:02.539
Even my adult team has that, mike, yeah, I know everyone.

01:01:02.840 --> 01:01:03.663
I'm like wait a minute, wait a minute.

01:01:03.663 --> 01:01:05.201
You don't have a scheduling app.

01:01:05.201 --> 01:01:06.260
I said, how do you live?

01:01:06.260 --> 01:01:11.255
I mean so again, and my wife's all paper, I'm all digital Like.

01:01:11.255 --> 01:01:12.822
So it's like it's like just trying to.

01:01:12.822 --> 01:01:21.755
I'm up there taking a photo of the calendar on the fridge because I've got to coordinate, I've got to coordinate with her having that scheduled.

01:01:21.755 --> 01:01:22.639
That's the way she works.

01:01:22.639 --> 01:01:37.625
But again, it's just a matter of and I think that goes back to like the scheduling and coaches knowing that you can't just add things in at the last minute and it might seem like a bonus, like, oh, I've added this ice on Thursday nights and we're all we'd love you to comment Managers too.

01:01:37.976 --> 01:01:40.320
This isn't just coaches Managers need to do this too.

01:01:41.056 --> 01:01:41.237
Yeah.

01:01:41.237 --> 01:01:43.985
And then there's like, oh, my God, like how am I going to do this?

01:01:43.985 --> 01:01:48.701
And then to Kim, we were saying right now your kids are stressed out, Like, oh, I can't miss practice.

01:01:48.701 --> 01:01:54.521
Well, we're away, Like we've already planned this day, and so we got to work it out.

01:01:54.521 --> 01:02:06.623
And but I think it's that piece is so vitally important for the health of your family Because it's just, and if you're lucky enough to have one child, I guess it's not that bad.

01:02:06.623 --> 01:02:17.978
But if you're in a place where you got to be in multiple places with multiple kids and multiple events, then that coordination of the daily activities is huge, Vital and it does.

01:02:17.978 --> 01:02:25.184
And again, I like the fact that you're not it's not a balance, it's that you're actually just managing And-.

01:02:25.775 --> 01:02:36.961
Yeah, and I think to take it down to our youngest kids level, which Charlie, is seven, so he's clearly he's not gonna, he doesn't have teen snap and he doesn't necessarily read a list.

01:02:36.961 --> 01:02:40.422
But you know I try when we're there early.

01:02:40.422 --> 01:02:48.199
I think the hardest thing that we do as parents it's hard for us as parents is like you said, lee, is that they can actually do more than we give them credit for.

01:02:48.199 --> 01:03:08.943
So if you get there early, what you have to think about and again, I always everything for me is goes to the business mindset, which is and I learned this when I grew from one to two to three, now to five locations what I did when I had one location and even two locations is not sustainable as an owner and for my bandwidth, as I've grown to five and we're still growing.

01:03:08.943 --> 01:03:14.262
So now every decision I make is is that sustainable when I have twice as many bakery locations?

01:03:14.262 --> 01:03:16.081
The same is true for our kids.

01:03:16.081 --> 01:03:32.137
Earlier you can have your kids help you, the more sustainable it will be for your life if you have other kids that are coming into this sport or any other sport and, more importantly, it ensures the happiness that we all have at the beginning that we need to try.

01:03:32.137 --> 01:03:36.980
That's harder to keep as our kids get older and our schedules get busier and things get more competitive.

01:03:36.980 --> 01:03:39.804
So a good example is just this past weekend.

01:03:39.804 --> 01:03:48.838
Charlie and I were probably the first ones at the rink for the 7am game and it was dark and early and we were in the locker room with plenty of time and I said you know what, charlie?

01:03:48.838 --> 01:03:50.117
I want us.

01:03:50.117 --> 01:03:58.222
You tell me which gear goes on first and then you try to put it on and if you need help I will help you, because we were the only ones in the locker room.

01:03:58.222 --> 01:04:04.260
But the and again not every day you know there are days when you have the 430 practice and you're hustling from school and work.

01:04:04.260 --> 01:04:07.864
But if you the more you can do, the earlier you can do.

01:04:07.864 --> 01:04:11.324
You have to have a sustainability mindset right.

01:04:11.324 --> 01:04:26.940
What is going to help you sustain your sanity, your schedule, your life, your happiness and what burden can you translate to the kids so that they can also have pride and be happy and excited that they're self-sufficient?

01:04:27.795 --> 01:04:31.579
Right, and some of the trade-off too is especially with the youngest child.

01:04:31.579 --> 01:04:39.659
I'll say and I've realized this too is you realize, you know this might be the last time you get to do certain things as a parent.

01:04:40.235 --> 01:04:41.840
You see my husband at the ring.

01:04:42.615 --> 01:04:43.661
I wasn't going to bring that up.

01:04:43.661 --> 01:04:45.159
But you can bring that up if you want.

01:04:45.159 --> 01:04:50.141
Your husband is a tall hulking man who I never want to make upset, I'll put it that way.

01:04:50.141 --> 01:04:58.561
But yeah, no, it's funny because my daughter gets her self-dressed outside tying her skates and it's like you have a moment where it's like, oh man, I'm never going to do that again.

01:04:58.561 --> 01:05:01.199
But you got it again.

01:05:01.199 --> 01:05:01.902
It's a balance, right?

01:05:01.902 --> 01:05:03.521
You got to decide certain things.

01:05:03.521 --> 01:05:05.340
You can always help them if you ask, right.

01:05:05.340 --> 01:05:07.259
But those are fun things.

01:05:07.259 --> 01:05:09.099
With the last kid, kim, I'm looking at the time.

01:05:09.099 --> 01:05:12.400
I have several questions, but I'm going to skip over some of them.

01:05:12.400 --> 01:05:30.240
I realized early on in the episode we could actually have you on a whole episode of our kids play goalie if we wanted to, which we're probably going to do, because, with two goaltenders in the house and the realization from me as you watched me go into my goaltending parent chrysalis and come out the other end of that, because there's a whole denial phase with that.

01:05:30.240 --> 01:05:34.657
But there's two questions I really want to get to here that I think are important.

01:05:34.657 --> 01:05:38.057
This next one, I think, is going to speak to a lot of parents.

01:05:38.057 --> 01:05:39.797
You have a child in AAA.

01:05:39.797 --> 01:05:46.822
You have two children in AA and you have a mate, a beginner player okay, different ages, different people, different kids.

01:05:46.822 --> 01:06:00.440
I want to know about the household mentality of those different levels, because I have seen it across the board, where it's easy to go well, that child's games are more important than this.

01:06:00.440 --> 01:06:02.637
Child's games okay, and look there are.

01:06:02.637 --> 01:06:09.958
I would say it as a coach yeah, if the AAA player has a game and my mate child has a scrimmage, there is a priority there.

01:06:09.958 --> 01:06:21.898
Okay, but I want to know how do you handle this, because each kid has to get equal love, equal time, and I think it's easy for parents to drop into this while one kid plays AAA.

01:06:21.898 --> 01:06:24.440
That's more important and that's dangerous thinking.

01:06:24.440 --> 01:06:27.581
Can you just talk about how you compartmentalize that in your household?

01:06:29.391 --> 01:06:31.577
You know we really don't even think about the level of play.

01:06:31.577 --> 01:06:36.119
To be honest with you, the only time that might ever come into actually it doesn't.

01:06:36.119 --> 01:06:44.942
You know, even if we're at the end of the season and you know we're talking about, you know championship games or semifinals or anything like that, that doesn't come into play right.

01:06:44.942 --> 01:06:49.297
Every kid is equally important, so we just rotate our time.

01:06:49.297 --> 01:07:00.614
I think as double goalie parents, the hardest part is you don't know who's going to play if they're not on an equal rotation, so you may go to one goalie's game and not see him and then go to the other's goalie game and not see him either.

01:07:00.614 --> 01:07:08.422
But that's part of the job as a goalie parent, just like it's part of their job to have that rotation.

01:07:08.422 --> 01:07:11.237
But you know we never think about that.

01:07:11.237 --> 01:07:17.201
We're just equally sharing our time with the different kids, hoping that we get to see our goalie play.

01:07:17.201 --> 01:07:23.282
I mean, we do talk about that, like what do we think is going to happen and what was the rotation, and try to predict.

01:07:23.282 --> 01:07:29.382
But ultimately everybody gets both my husband and I as equally and as much as possible.

01:07:29.382 --> 01:07:54.820
The only time that it may come into play is if any of our kids are struggling with something and we feel that it would benefit them to have one of our personalities more than another, or pregame, or on the ride, or whatever it is, whether that's to help motivate them, whether that's just to put them at ease, because, again, you know, sometimes we naturally vibe with one of our kids more than another.

01:07:54.820 --> 01:07:58.797
So so, in that sense, we may make that choice.

01:07:59.913 --> 01:08:01.117
But it's not skill level based.

01:08:01.117 --> 01:08:02.594
I think it's important to reiterate that.

01:08:03.597 --> 01:08:04.018
Correct.

01:08:04.217 --> 01:08:04.418
Right.

01:08:05.289 --> 01:08:13.498
I would say the additional piece to that that I think is really important is we give equal training time to all of our kids.

01:08:13.498 --> 01:08:18.582
So the extra money that we pay for goalie training goes as much to my triple A player.

01:08:18.582 --> 01:08:27.256
We give as much time to my other goalie, my double A goalie, because he's not less deserving of it just because he plays at a different level.

01:08:27.256 --> 01:08:38.121
You know, the goal of training and of any season is, you know, to start at one place and then you know this is your goal and you're going to try to get as close to it as possible.

01:08:38.121 --> 01:08:45.750
And it doesn't matter if you're, you know, a double A, triple A, doesn't matter what level you're at, and that's really important.

01:08:45.750 --> 01:08:50.122
Really, we try to give our defenseman as much you know training time as possible.

01:08:50.122 --> 01:08:51.292
And I really look at it on.

01:08:51.292 --> 01:08:58.641
You know, I look at the calendar, I look at the budget and I try to say whatever we're doing for one, we have to try to do it for all of them.

01:08:58.641 --> 01:09:03.278
It's just a fair thing and I would not feel good about doing anything other than that.

01:09:04.381 --> 01:09:05.061
I love the answer.

01:09:05.061 --> 01:09:10.181
Look at, look at you bringing sanity to this game right now with that answer.

01:09:10.181 --> 01:09:14.858
No, it doesn't, kim, it's a fantastic answer and I think you know it's important.

01:09:14.858 --> 01:09:20.837
People remember that you got to throw the letters out, right, because it's not what it's about, right At the end of the day.

01:09:20.837 --> 01:09:27.699
Now, don't get me wrong If a kid's got a chance to get drafted and they have a big tournament, yeah, you got to make a decision as a family of who is going to go with that.

01:09:27.699 --> 01:09:40.920
But at the same time, using my own experience and, mike, I've told you this too I'm volunteering to work with my daughter's team this year because I afforded that to my son for several years and I want her to know you, you can have this too, not just me.

01:09:40.920 --> 01:09:43.215
Obviously, it's the same opportunities across the board.

01:09:43.215 --> 01:09:52.819
Look, there's been some drawbacks and benefits to that, but I don't want any kid of mine really any kid in general to feel like, oh he's, there's preference here.

01:09:52.819 --> 01:09:55.310
I love my children equally.

01:09:55.310 --> 01:09:59.220
I mean I couldn't take another six hours to talk about how much I love my kids.

01:09:59.220 --> 01:10:02.329
All of us, all of us share that, kim.

01:10:02.329 --> 01:10:04.976
Final question, because I don't again, I'll keep you for three hours, if you let me.

01:10:04.976 --> 01:10:08.716
The three of us on here, very blessed.

01:10:08.716 --> 01:10:10.375
We're all entrepreneurs on our own right.

01:10:10.375 --> 01:10:12.574
We get to kind of create our own schedule.

01:10:12.574 --> 01:10:20.395
It is a blessing, and there's never a day that I wake up and I don't have some gratitude for what I get to do.

01:10:20.395 --> 01:10:27.716
What you get to do, mike I know you're in a similar boat most days outside Monday morning no, I'm just kidding Every day we love to do this.

01:10:27.716 --> 01:10:34.076
So my last question for you is this and this is something people listening I really look up to Kim with this and, as she said, she comes to me.

01:10:34.076 --> 01:10:35.359
I go to her for this all the time too.

01:10:35.359 --> 01:10:47.560
Any of the parents listening your advice if they want to take that step into entrepreneurship or a furthering of a career within the hockey lifestyle?

01:10:47.560 --> 01:10:49.533
Because I think a lot of people go.

01:10:49.533 --> 01:10:54.478
I just can't do it and I believe there is a way to do it.

01:10:54.478 --> 01:11:03.559
So I would just love to hear from you your advice for parents or guardians listening that want to have a career outside of being a full-time hockey parent.

01:11:05.649 --> 01:11:12.774
I think similar to when I asked the young moms at the time what do you think about hockey, should we do it?

01:11:12.774 --> 01:11:15.197
And they said oh yeah, it's great, you should do it.

01:11:15.197 --> 01:11:18.355
I think I could easily say the same oh, it's great, I love it.

01:11:18.355 --> 01:11:25.131
It allows me to control my own schedule and be in control of my personal wealth, to be honest with you.

01:11:25.131 --> 01:11:31.761
But additionally, I think very similarly to hockey, and that's why I love the sport so much.

01:11:31.761 --> 01:11:36.421
I feel like it has so many parallels to being an entrepreneur.

01:11:36.421 --> 01:11:38.938
Entrepreneurship and business ownership is all-encompassing.

01:11:38.938 --> 01:11:42.099
It takes everything you have every single day.

01:11:42.099 --> 01:11:43.916
There is no time out.

01:11:43.916 --> 01:11:50.738
So, yes, you get to control your own schedule and there are a lot of benefits to that, particularly as a hockey parent.

01:11:50.738 --> 01:12:02.637
It means that I always have my laptop with me and for my goalie, who likes to be at the rate two hours ahead of time, I am spending those two hours, or at least an hour and a half, working.

01:12:02.637 --> 01:12:19.082
The benefit is that when we drive to Boston and to Chicago for 10 hours, he gets to hear a lot of conference calls and I am utilizing all that time to gain time with him.

01:12:19.082 --> 01:12:26.198
But it means that I am always working, but for anybody who's willing to try it and is ready to do it.

01:12:26.198 --> 01:12:39.534
I think that entrepreneurship not only individually benefits us as people, because we're going to do something that we're passionate about, that we have a talent for, that we love, which ultimately will drive our business to success.

01:12:39.534 --> 01:13:06.041
But I think that, just like hockey, my children just from being exposed to living with two entrepreneurs, they have taken away so much about work, ethic, commitment to staying on a plan, planning, analytics, all effort, no excuses, attitude what I'm hoping is going to be valuable for them for life.

01:13:06.041 --> 01:13:18.596
So for that reason I think too, as parents, it can be beneficial in ways that are non-business related, that you may not even be aware of what answers your question.

01:13:18.676 --> 01:13:20.752
Oh, you answered it, and then some Again.

01:13:20.752 --> 01:13:22.771
You're just extremely well spoken, mike.

01:13:22.771 --> 01:13:24.677
I'm going to throw it to you if you have any other final questions.

01:13:24.677 --> 01:13:28.219
I will say this real quick, mike, that, kim, we're going to have to have you.

01:13:28.219 --> 01:13:32.860
I'm going to use producer powers here and Caitlin will hopefully agree.

01:13:32.860 --> 01:13:37.622
We're going to get you back on our kids play goalie, because I've had several questions come up throughout the episode.

01:13:37.622 --> 01:13:42.202
I'm like I'm just going to save that for another episode because it's goalie related.

01:13:42.202 --> 01:13:46.837
But no, this has been fantastic, mike, but I wanted to give you a moment too if you had any other questions.

01:13:47.652 --> 01:13:48.335
No, it's awesome.

01:13:48.335 --> 01:13:50.114
It's like always when we do these.

01:13:50.114 --> 01:13:51.037
It's inspiring.

01:13:51.037 --> 01:13:57.353
It's an opportunity to reevaluate what you're doing and reschedule your brain and say, wow, you know what.

01:13:57.353 --> 01:13:59.890
I never thought that I could do that, or maybe this is the time to do it.

01:13:59.890 --> 01:14:09.122
Or let me get my kids to do this and let me share this episode with those parents that I know are struggling and know that, feel overwhelmed and feel like, oh my God, like how are you?

01:14:09.122 --> 01:14:15.636
You know, I think we sit in the rink and we're all in the lobby and nobody's willing to admit that we're all nuts and that you know everybody's crazy.

01:14:15.636 --> 01:14:20.000
And then when you see like somebody not there, like how come this person's not here?

01:14:20.000 --> 01:14:21.114
How come this person's not at the game?

01:14:21.114 --> 01:14:29.881
You know they can't come to everything, like I don't remember my parents ever going to my games Like my father did later on in my life, but he was like he was working.

01:14:29.881 --> 01:14:34.185
I mean he was like there was a practice and, you know, never followed me around.

01:14:34.185 --> 01:14:37.435
So he's just like OK, yeah, somebody's dropping you off, go to practice, get dressed.

01:14:37.569 --> 01:14:38.293
Mike said hockey.

01:14:38.293 --> 01:14:39.072
Where's Mike?

01:14:39.072 --> 01:14:39.734
He said hockey.

01:14:40.034 --> 01:14:41.532
He said he's a hockey, but I think it's like.

01:14:41.532 --> 01:14:42.475
I think that's the.

01:14:42.475 --> 01:14:44.000
I think this is the point.

01:14:44.000 --> 01:14:48.872
Right Is to help your children navigate as much as they can, so it helps you.

01:14:48.872 --> 01:15:04.279
But also, I think you know, if you listen to this episode and you have an opportunity to share it with somebody that maybe is struggling to do all this stuff, you see him like always late and never on time and always forgetting equipment, and you know it's a hard sport to navigate.

01:15:04.279 --> 01:15:06.795
There's no doubt about it, and you know.

01:15:06.795 --> 01:15:07.658
I think it's great.

01:15:07.658 --> 01:15:19.157
I think you had some great advice and some great you know insights as to what you do and secrets, and I'm sure you'll share the website and order some Bundt cake and you have to try that.

01:15:19.198 --> 01:15:21.552
if you haven't, I'm not in the Philadelphia area.

01:15:21.573 --> 01:15:22.576
so I guess I'll have to do the mail.

01:15:22.576 --> 01:15:24.140
They're everywhere, they're everywhere.

01:15:24.851 --> 01:15:26.798
I mean, mike, I'll tell you when you do come to the Philadelphia area.

01:15:26.798 --> 01:15:29.578
I know where I'm taking you right away, but they're very addicting.

01:15:29.578 --> 01:15:31.627
So, kim, this is what I'm going to do.

01:15:31.627 --> 01:15:33.957
I'm going to offer up our email real quick.

01:15:33.957 --> 01:15:40.380
Team at ourkidsplayhockeycom that if you have a question for Kim that you want to ask her, send us that email and we will make sure it gets there.

01:15:40.380 --> 01:15:41.478
But, kim, I also want to give you a chance.

01:15:41.478 --> 01:15:45.559
Whether it's nothing but cakes or something else, is there a way people can support you?

01:15:47.350 --> 01:15:49.658
Well, of course I mean you know if you need anything.

01:15:49.658 --> 01:15:51.292
There are nothing but cakes nationwide.

01:15:51.292 --> 01:15:54.220
There's 525 of us open nationwide and in Canada.

01:15:54.220 --> 01:16:02.480
So you know all of us have all of the owners that I know that I've met, which there have been, many have the same heart that I do.

01:16:02.480 --> 01:16:06.180
It's part of what's special about our brand and about the people that are in it.

01:16:06.180 --> 01:16:11.990
So anything that we can help you do to celebrate, we are here for you Again.

01:16:11.990 --> 01:16:30.439
Whatever we can do to help you otherwise in kind donation for a banquet or fundraiser to help your team travel, whether it's hockey or you know music or whatever it is that is important to you in your life you need a raffle donation for a cause that's near and dear to your heart.

01:16:30.439 --> 01:16:41.769
We are happy to help with all of those things because we definitely feel like, just like the hockey community, the more that we can do for the community, then the stronger a community is.

01:16:42.452 --> 01:16:48.550
And I will support that by saying that everybody has seen Dunkin' Donuts Munchkins in the locker room.

01:16:48.550 --> 01:16:50.139
You know, kids like the Munchkins.

01:16:50.139 --> 01:16:55.720
But when there was nothing but cakes box in that room, it was a different vibe.

01:16:55.720 --> 01:16:57.858
Kids slowly crept up to it.

01:16:57.858 --> 01:17:02.041
They understood that if I'm going to get one of these, I need to cooperate right now.

01:17:02.041 --> 01:17:04.216
It was an event.

01:17:04.216 --> 01:17:09.235
So, yes, listen, we all love hockey, we all love cake, so this is a win-win episode.

01:17:09.737 --> 01:17:13.300
Okay, hockey is for everybody, cake is for everyone, oh my.

01:17:13.319 --> 01:17:16.109
God that's the other T-shirt we're going to make and embrace the chaos.

01:17:16.109 --> 01:17:17.997
That's the theme of the episode.

01:17:17.997 --> 01:17:23.082
So this has been a very literal episode of our kids play hockey.

01:17:23.082 --> 01:17:24.556
Literally, we've been talking about that.

01:17:24.556 --> 01:17:29.689
Kim Wright just a fantastic person, fantastic business person, fantastic hockey.

01:17:29.689 --> 01:17:31.317
Mom, I can't thank you enough for being here today.

01:17:32.091 --> 01:17:35.244
Thanks so much for having me and I'll see you at the ring.

01:17:35.747 --> 01:17:37.032
I'll see you at the ring too, and we'll.

01:17:37.032 --> 01:17:38.295
Kim will return.

01:17:38.295 --> 01:17:41.021
We're going to get her back on for an episode of our kids play goalie.

01:17:41.021 --> 01:17:45.942
Remember, all of the episodes of our kids play hockey are available wherever you listen to podcasts.

01:17:45.942 --> 01:17:51.381
We continue to break records every single month actually weekly with the amount of listeners we have.

01:17:51.381 --> 01:17:52.916
Cannot thank you all enough for that.

01:17:52.916 --> 01:17:57.123
Please, if you haven't done so already, share this episode with all of the hockey parents.

01:17:57.123 --> 01:17:58.204
This one's an inspiring one.

01:17:58.204 --> 01:17:59.225
It's going to make you feel great.

01:17:59.225 --> 01:18:00.867
Put it in your team snap, put it in your chats.

01:18:00.867 --> 01:18:03.717
If you do a written version, what's wrong with you?

01:18:03.717 --> 01:18:10.676
Just share the podcast with everybody you can, and remember all the episodes always available on ourkidsplayhockeycom For Mike Vanellie, kim, right, I'm Lee Elias.

01:18:10.676 --> 01:18:11.613
We'll see you next week.

01:18:11.613 --> 01:18:12.417
Everybody Skate on.

01:18:12.417 --> 01:18:15.550
We hope you enjoyed this edition of our kids play hockey.

01:18:15.550 --> 01:18:18.872
Make sure to like and subscribe right now If you found value.

01:18:18.872 --> 01:18:24.819
Wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network or our website, ourkidsplayhockeycom.

01:18:24.819 --> 01:18:29.877
Also, make sure to check out our children's book when Hockey Stops at whenhockeystopscom.

01:18:29.877 --> 01:18:34.265
It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life.

01:18:34.265 --> 01:18:35.565
We're very proud of it.

01:18:35.565 --> 01:18:39.951
But thanks so much for listening to this edition of ourkidsplayhockey and we'll see you on the next episode.