Dec. 30, 2023

Encouraging Youth Hockey Players to Step Out of Their Comfort Zones

How do you help young hockey players step out of their comfort zones and grow both on and off the ice?

This week's conversation centers on practical advice for parents, coaches, and mentors, focusing on building resilience, creativity, and courage in young athletes.

We dive into the importance of creating a supportive environment where mistakes are part of the learning process. Our discussion sheds light on the balance between consistent practice and the introduction of new, innovative skills in hockey training. We also touch on the influence of hockey icons like Alex Ovechkin and the impact of social media on youth sports.

Additionally, we explore the concept of failure as a stepping stone to success, offering strategies for coaches to effectively nurture each player's unique talents while also working on their areas of improvement. This episode is packed with insights and tips for guiding young athletes through their sporting journey, emphasizing the development of resilient and well-rounded individuals.

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00:51 - Encourage Kids to Step Outside Comfort Zone

13:10 - Balance in Hockey Training

20:04 - Positive Learning Environment in Youth Sports

24:36 - Developing Hockey Skills and Player Growth

29:30 - Encouraging Growth Through Failure in Sports

WEBVTT

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Today's question comes from one of you.

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It's a great one too.

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It's how do I help my kid get outside of their comfort zone?

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And Mike and I dive deep into this one today.

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It is a fantastic question and hopefully we give a fantastic answer to.

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We can't wait to get your feedback.

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Also want to remind all of you we've been getting a lot of submissions from you lately, which we love.

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Send them over to team at ourkidsplayhockeycom.

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You can send us a voice message.

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You can type it, however you want to get that communication to us.

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We really do love answering your questions.

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So again, email us at team at ourkidsplayhockeycom.

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And whenever you're listening to this, remember you guys get a great deal at hockeywrapperroundcom 25% off the entire wrap around product store, from the wrap around itself to the dry stick, to the when hockey stops book that Christie Cashiano Burns and I wrote.

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By using the code O A P H at checkout on hockeywrapperroundcom, you get a awesome discount.

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So go check that out, hockeywrapperroundcom, and enjoy this episode with Mike and I on our kids play hockey, which is also our kidsplayhockeycom, because up there too, enjoy the episode.

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Hello hockey friends and families around the world, and welcome to another edition of our kids play hockey.

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I'm Leo Elias and that's Mike Binelli.

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Now, for those of you watching the episode, you might notice I'm in the old our kids play hockey studio, which is also my office upstairs at my house, which was created during COVID because you needed someplace to record.

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And the reason I'm here, mike, is because I'm under the weather and I did not want to go to the office and make sure that our producer got anything that I have.

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But you could say I'm outside of my comfort zone today, but the show must go on, mike.

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That's one of the things about you and me and Christie the show must go on and that is today's topic.

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We got an email from Joe.

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That's the only name on here, can't say anything else.

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Joe asked us Mike, how do you encourage your kids to play outside their comfort zone?

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And I wanted to practice what he was preaching.

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So I'm outside my comfort zone and that's what we're going to discuss today on our kids play hockey.

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Well, and everybody commend you for this.

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I mean, I know it's a real sacrifice and sometimes it's hard to look around.

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You're like where's my microphone, Where's my?

00:02:13.747 --> 00:02:14.730
different Mike.

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I mean it's a different Mike.

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Yeah.

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The seat doesn't fit as well.

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It makes it.

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It makes it harder.

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I mean, I think when we you know, Christie does it too and when we do these remote call ins, you know when you're, when you're traveling or you're at a hockey tournament, or you know listen, we are parents to it all the time.

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Right, we're out of our comfort zone on all these hockey tournaments as well.

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All of a sudden, you got to get a good, get a leave on a Wednesday to go to a tournament.

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Yeah, mike.

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I will admit, though, when you do episodes in Florida and you're in a t-shirt and the oceans behind you and you can hear that ocean breeze in your microphone doesn't look too uncomfortable.

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I know, but out of my comfort zone.

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I'm not saying.

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I'm not comfortable.

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I get it.

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That's a fair point, yeah.

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But it's not.

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You're absolutely right, it is.

00:02:56.248 --> 00:03:00.663
It's getting players to play outside their comfort zone.

00:03:00.663 --> 00:03:06.139
I love the subject because I think it takes everybody to allow that to happen.

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It takes everybody that's in that that, that players, world and ecosystem.

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That's the only way a player truly can play outside their comfort zone.

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Everybody has to be on the same page about it.

00:03:17.281 --> 00:03:23.715
Yeah, I think you said the key word here and if we're going to attack this again, this question is how do you encourage kids to play outside their comfort zone?

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Well, I think the first thing we have to do is you almost can't do it if the environment is not correct for it.

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So we talk a lot about culture on this show and I'm going to kind of shift that word today to environment.

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As a coach, as parents, as an organization, as a teammate, you can create an environment that's conducive for kids to learn.

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Now, I assume when they say go outside their comfort zone, it's to push yourself beyond an aspect of the game that you're not good at right.

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Become a better skater, shooter, passer, hitter, you know whatever IQ, to push yourself past the point of fearing failure.

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Right To me, that's where, at most, people's comfort zone gets messed up.

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As I don't want to mess up and this is a game, I've said it many times the whole idea of the game is to capitalize on someone else's mistake.

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So the first thing to do is ask yourself, or do an audit well, what kind of environment have I created for my players or for my kids?

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Is it an environment where they are afraid to make mistakes, because in my opinion, that's the first thing you have to conquer and you have to make sure these kids understand hey, it's okay to fall down, it's okay to make a mistake.

00:04:38.988 --> 00:04:45.802
Yeah, and that's hard because even when you're given permission to do that, you don't feel like you can do it right, because you know kids are.

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Kids are like, oh, you know you're not going to get punished if you do this, but then all the other pressures come about, that when you do make a mistake and you play outside, I mean I see it a lot.

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I mean I think it really depends on the age of your kid too.

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Right, because you can get a six year old to play way outside their comfort zone because they're not self conscious about the way they look.

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Try doing that with a 16 year old.

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Now you got to forget about it.

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It's like everything's involved, like it's just a whole nother level of self awareness and, and you know, uncertainty and being, you know, just being embarrassed, like, like you know, six year olds just don't get embarrassed, they just do it Like they don't.

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They rarely are worried about what other people are thinking about them or if somebody's going to post something on YouTube or you know they're not thinking about that kind of stuff.

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With what the comfort zone piece?

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And I'll tell you, the best players you know, do they do that?

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Do you play out?

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Do you allow that, that, that you know uncomfortableness to happen in private?

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Like, do you allow that that you allow that player to have the freedom to do that in a safe space?

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You know where?

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They're not doing it in the middle.

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You know of a game right, because you can say, because I can tell you right now.

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I tell players all the time do not be afraid to make a mistake here.

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You can make that move in blue line and nobody is going to be upset with you if a goal gets scored.

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But then the goal gets scored and everybody's upset with them.

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Well, let's, let's, we got to break it down now.

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So so, listen, you make a great point, right?

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I think people go.

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Well, I'll just tell the people it's okay to fail.

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And I'm going to tell you this, mike, and this is my opinion that's not enough, right?

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There's a lot of elements that have to be built to create this environment that I'm talking about.

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Number one and this should all be done at the start of the season, but is establishing trust and defining that word for the team, not just the individual, and I do a lot of speaking on this, right, you have to create that trust environment and within that trust, there has to be a clear communication and be high levels of accountability.

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Now, you can accomplish this at a lot of different ages.

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Now, an understanding of communication and accountability from six to 16 is going to be a little different, but I'm telling you from experience, you can start to build that.

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So, once the trust is there, you have to explain to your team how you may communicate, and it may be.

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Look, I'm going to be very point blank and I'm going to almost look mean, but I'm going to be honest with you, and when I'm honest with you, I'm telling you what I want you to do in a game.

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So I'm giving you clear feedback on what to change.

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That's not going to feel good to you, but I'm giving you actionable items to move forward with.

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Just saying that can do a lot.

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And then the last aspect is accountability is telling the players listen, you're going to fail.

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I want you to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and to push yourself to do better at practice so mistakes don't happen in a game.

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And if a mistake happens in a game, I need you the player and parents you can say this too to be accountable for the situation.

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So if in the first period, you make the same mistake three times and I bench you which I think is is, at an older age, adequate right I want you to come up to me after the game as much as I want to come to you and say this is what we're going to work on at practice so that doesn't happen again.

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The thing about being uncomfortable and this is where I always lean on the military, mike, because the military does such as great, a great job of making the uncomfortable comfortable Right, and that's actually how they talk about it.

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It's the way they say it is embrace the suck Right and it's a mindset of you are going to mess up, you are going to be uncomfortable and again in the military, they'll put you in subzero temperatures, extreme heat.

00:08:21.922 --> 00:08:27.716
They'll put you in situations to purposely be uncomfortable so you can learn how to get past it.

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And from the military people that I speak to, it's not like you don't ever get really used to it, but you train your mind to be used to it so that you're somewhat bulletproof in those situations.

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Now I think this is a six to 18 year old process.

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This is part of the development.

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I think one of the failures is that we don't look at it like that.

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We don't look at this like it's a 12 year journey for a little kid to become a young adult, and that learning, trust, communication, accountability and there's a lot of other pillars in this too are ways to help you get comfortable.

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Because, taking this a little broader, we will answer the question.

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I'm giving some tips now.

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The amount of kids we see get to college or post high school and hit adversity and you can't deal with it.

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To me it's like we're failing them on the ice by not teaching them how to deal with it.

00:09:18.392 --> 00:09:22.549
So again, my first steps, how to encourage kids to play outside their comfort zone.

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Trust, clear communication.

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I can tell you this as a player.

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My friends, there is nothing worse as a player, nothing worse when a coach is not clear with their communication or, and this is even worse, they tiptoe around it and they don't tell you what they want, or they manipulate things and they do things to you to.

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They think it's going to inspire you and it's just ripping you apart inside.

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That is a very old school model that does not really working anymore.

00:09:53.136 --> 00:09:56.291
We just saw Mike Babcock get fired again because of this.

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Right, whether it was intentional or not, I'll say that.

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Right, yeah, if you want to encourage me or a player to get outside their comfort zone, you have to build trust.

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That person has to trust you and they have to know that it's.

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It's a.

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It's OK to fail, as long as you're willing to learn.

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I've always told my players Mike, if you make the same mistake over and over and over again, we have a bigger problem, right?

00:10:25.070 --> 00:10:29.070
But the players I mean let's just talk, youth, youth hockey, let's just talk, squirt down.

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You should be messing up the beginning of the season.

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You're not supposed to be where you're at there.

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The team should be better by the end of the season, right when you get to the higher levels.

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It's about maintaining excellence all the time, at the squirt level, even the Pee Wee level.

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You haven't even activated all this parts of the game yet.

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You're not even hitting yet.

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So this is, this is a process in the best coaches create the environment and parents.

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I got to keep saying the parents do this too, where being uncomfortable or failing because I think that's what we mean by uncomfortable is OK, because there's an understanding they're going to learn.

00:11:07.676 --> 00:11:12.586
I'm going to stop talking because I'm holding the microphone that this microphone makes me talk more.

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Mike, apparently I'm going to toss it back to you.

00:11:15.707 --> 00:11:21.668
Now, you're making great points and I think it's just, it's just really comes down to also, I think, understanding when.

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When are you allowing that, that the ability to be uncomfortable and explore these opportunities?

00:11:29.171 --> 00:11:39.629
And that's where training and practice come in right, because if you train, you know what is the term you train to your lowest training like you play to your lowest training.

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So, yeah, I prefer the.

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We make the practices hard, so the games are easy.

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That's like, that's like that, so instead of falling to what you're, you know the fact that you're not prepared, you, you fall to your training, right?

00:11:51.384 --> 00:12:12.970
So if your training is high level and intense and you're allowed to make mistake, like to me, if I have 40 reps in a training session and I can take rep one and rep 40 and make them completely different because I've succeeded right now, is then then the green light happens, where you know what I mean.

00:12:12.970 --> 00:12:16.037
Let's, let's like honestly, like the Michigan goal, right?

00:12:16.037 --> 00:12:25.091
That didn't happen by a Mike leg doing that once in a game and saying I'm just going to come up with this move, yeah, right.

00:12:25.754 --> 00:12:25.995
Right.

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I know and the story is and I'm sure it's true because everyone I've seen other players in these situations he probably worked on that a million times in practice in his backyard, in his living room, and it's like all that, all that skill will happen.

00:12:40.586 --> 00:12:59.035
And I guess you know I use the, I use it all, I use the examples a lot with the older kids that you know, when they see these like Instagram videos of kids catching pucks on the on the heel of their stick and you know, flipping it up to their the shaft at a stick and catching on the butt end, like I'm like that wasn't the first take.

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No, like they, probably.

00:13:00.782 --> 00:13:07.025
They probably flunked out of school trying to figure that out, like, so, like they, like they, just they, they worked on it a lot.

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And you know we're in a world that that we have to make sure, as parents and coaches to, that we allow those other things to happen in a training environment so that they can have the freedom to do that in the game.

00:13:21.528 --> 00:13:28.136
And then when they fail in the game, maybe it's like okay, then it's like well, where where's the line?

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Like where's the line?

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We have to sit a kid down and what it like to your point what's the age right?

00:13:32.270 --> 00:13:39.375
You have to sit a kid down and say, listen, we've tried this, we've tried this too much, and it's just not in your it's.

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It's just not in your wheel house or your you know tool bag to be able to do this.

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So maybe, maybe, we need to think of a different way to do that.

00:13:49.371 --> 00:13:52.644
You know, explore that, this great plan that you want to make.

00:13:53.047 --> 00:13:54.917
Yeah, mike, I think we should say to this has got.

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The environment I'm talking about is a controlled environment.

00:13:56.966 --> 00:13:59.413
It's not just open creativity to do whatever you want.

00:13:59.413 --> 00:14:06.489
For example, if you're on a two on one and you try and Michigan the pocket, that the hash mark, it's going to make me pretty mad as a coach, right?

00:14:06.489 --> 00:14:12.818
So it's not freedom in that sense, complete freedom, but it's an environment where creativity can take place within a structured system.

00:14:12.818 --> 00:14:14.649
The other thing you're making some great points here.

00:14:14.649 --> 00:14:21.982
You know, when Mike like did that it was late 90s, right, the first, the first Michigan, because he was at Michigan, he played for Michigan, you know.

00:14:21.982 --> 00:14:33.988
Another one that comes to my mind is Merrick Malik in the early 2000s, the first time I had ever seen anyone put the stick between their legs on a shootout, on a breakaway situation, and everyone was blown away.

00:14:33.988 --> 00:14:35.144
Now this is a common move.

00:14:35.211 --> 00:14:41.225
Now in the league, this is something we see all the time and nobody, and even Don Cherry, won't dismiss at this point.

00:14:41.225 --> 00:14:43.269
That's true, right, yeah, right.

00:14:43.269 --> 00:14:48.188
But whatever, I guess nobody's going to beat him up and nobody's just getting disrespected.

00:14:48.188 --> 00:14:57.442
I mean that's, but that's, that's the thing, right, it's like well, but I just can't imagine him going down the ice saying, oh, you know what?

00:14:57.543 --> 00:14:58.024
this would be cool.

00:14:58.024 --> 00:15:00.739
You know it would be cool if I tried this for the first time.

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But here's the thing.

00:15:01.482 --> 00:15:08.489
This is why I bring up Merrick Malik, because I know for a fact NHL players had done that at practice for decades just for fun.

00:15:08.489 --> 00:15:10.529
Right Now you're making a good point.

00:15:10.529 --> 00:15:13.893
In the 80s and 90s, if you did something like that, you were.

00:15:13.893 --> 00:15:15.106
You're going to lose a tooth.

00:15:15.106 --> 00:15:17.726
Okay, that's this the way the game was played back then.

00:15:17.726 --> 00:15:19.977
But the game opened up and it allowed for that Now.

00:15:19.977 --> 00:15:22.369
Now we see between the leg moves nobody attacked him.

00:15:22.389 --> 00:15:23.351
Nobody attacked him, did he?

00:15:23.351 --> 00:15:24.293
Did he get beat up in the next game?

00:15:24.904 --> 00:15:32.950
I just remember John Davidson the color commentary, like just couldn't believe that he did that Because again that's your.

00:15:33.049 --> 00:15:34.815
To your point, that's commonplace right now.

00:15:34.815 --> 00:15:38.840
It's like right, Like every week we see it's probably, it's on every shootout.

00:15:39.522 --> 00:15:43.582
You know there's a shootout every week that has that in it we see weekly some play between the legs.

00:15:43.582 --> 00:15:43.924
This is again.

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This is the first time it happened.

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I think it was back in 0304 time period, all right.

00:15:47.803 --> 00:15:56.634
And now you're seeing other things too, like like again, the Michigan is pretty pretty I wouldn't say normalized yet, but it happens more often than it used to.

00:15:56.634 --> 00:16:01.490
Now you made a great point here that I want to talk about here for the parents listening.

00:16:01.490 --> 00:16:09.418
You talk about some of these influencers and creators who do unbelievable magic wand stuff with their sticks and it is, it's unbelievable.

00:16:09.418 --> 00:16:13.054
Let me tell you how you can tell if it's the first time they've ever done it on video.

00:16:13.054 --> 00:16:15.350
They won't look nonchalant after they've done it.

00:16:15.350 --> 00:16:22.277
If they do it and they look like, yeah, that's easy, that's because they've been practicing it for years and years and years and again.

00:16:22.277 --> 00:16:24.529
Look, it takes immense talent to do that.

00:16:24.529 --> 00:16:28.678
But this is one of my problems with some of these creators.

00:16:28.678 --> 00:16:46.557
Okay, I want to reiterate I'm not against creativity in the sport, I'm not against having fun, but we're in a time period now where kids go online and they will see a kid flip it up, catch it upside down around a goalie and think, oh man, I can't do that I better learn to do that.

00:16:46.557 --> 00:16:53.024
And they still have not yet learned how to take a correct wrist shot or a snapshot, or the amount of stuff I hear about.

00:16:53.024 --> 00:16:54.288
What we got to learn to drag release.

00:16:54.288 --> 00:16:55.552
To drag release is how you shoot now.

00:16:55.552 --> 00:16:58.846
Toe drag release is a shot.

00:16:58.846 --> 00:17:00.850
It is an effective shot.

00:17:00.850 --> 00:17:02.413
I'm not against it.

00:17:02.413 --> 00:17:05.490
It is one of many types of shots.

00:17:05.490 --> 00:17:16.519
You should learn all the shots, not just the, the hyped up one, the TDR as they call it, which, again, which was also, by the way, happening in the 90s.

00:17:16.519 --> 00:17:17.964
They were doing this in the NHL in the 90s.

00:17:17.964 --> 00:17:30.564
They just people probably wise it up to it Again for those of you listening, it's, it's a, it's a toe drag and then right into a snapshot, which which does a lot to mess with the goalie, to be fair, all right, but the point I'm making here, I think my boss.

00:17:30.604 --> 00:17:32.008
He actually had it better than anyone else.

00:17:32.048 --> 00:17:36.305
But yeah, I listen, he's, at the time, the greatest goal scorer in the sport.

00:17:36.305 --> 00:17:55.140
All right, so the reason I'm bringing this up is this we talked about the environment, your kids, who living in a social media environment where they're watching a human highlight reel, right, and they're gonna get uncomfortable, potentially, and not being able to do those stick tricks, or they get comfortable doing the stick tricks and they get on the ice and their hockey IQ is so low.

00:17:55.140 --> 00:18:08.767
I'm gonna say this, I've said this on many episodes parents the biggest thing that Mike and I are seeing and and high-level coaches Across hockey you always looking for ways to give yourself an advantage For your kids and I get it.

00:18:08.767 --> 00:18:12.347
Hockey IQs are very low.

00:18:12.347 --> 00:18:25.131
We're seeing older players like 1718, with immense talent and very low hockey IQ, right to the point where we see a kid with massive hockey IQ.

00:18:25.131 --> 00:18:26.895
Now he's becoming the cream of the crop.

00:18:26.895 --> 00:18:36.259
Now he might not be able to pick the puck up and flip it over seven times, but he knows where to be in a 1-1-3 or he knows what to do when it's a three on two situation.

00:18:37.182 --> 00:18:41.042
And there and there is, there is a, there's a combination of both.

00:18:41.042 --> 00:18:50.048
Right, this there's a lot of guys are really high hockey IQ that they can do all the all the really intricate Movements and plays, which is really good.

00:18:50.048 --> 00:19:05.277
But I think, I think, but don't, don't, you know, don't sabotage, or, or, or, you know, get on this tangent of thinking you know you're gonna do, you're gonna work on a play that you could probably only use once in your lifetime Over a smart hockey player, right?

00:19:05.277 --> 00:19:07.303
Well, I'll take this to fruit.

00:19:07.493 --> 00:19:08.707
Let's talk about practice.

00:19:08.707 --> 00:19:09.347
How about?

00:19:09.538 --> 00:19:10.430
coaching standpoint.

00:19:11.010 --> 00:19:11.872
I have a team right now.

00:19:11.872 --> 00:19:16.556
I'd say passing is a skill that's extremely lacking, right?

00:19:16.556 --> 00:19:17.696
So guess what?

00:19:17.696 --> 00:19:20.606
We're gonna practice Passing now.

00:19:20.606 --> 00:19:22.819
This is the key get kids outside the comfort zone.

00:19:22.819 --> 00:19:28.593
It's on me and the coaching staff to adequately explain prior to practice.

00:19:28.593 --> 00:19:30.928
This is what we're working on in why.

00:19:30.928 --> 00:19:32.083
All right.

00:19:32.083 --> 00:19:34.691
So many coaches forget to give their kids the why.

00:19:34.691 --> 00:19:46.061
If you don't give them the why to get them out of the comfort zone, they're just gonna do whatever you tell them to do, because you're telling them to do it Now, if you give them up, we're doing this drill to improve on our Passing skills.

00:19:46.061 --> 00:19:54.279
Or, if you want to get more advanced, we're doing this drill to improve our breakout Right, or to improve our cross ice dumps, because it will help us this way.

00:19:54.279 --> 00:19:56.519
That's a huge part of creating the environment.

00:19:56.519 --> 00:20:00.660
Now You've given a reason for them to learn that will help them step out of their environment.

00:20:00.660 --> 00:20:03.406
Okay, then here's the other part again.

00:20:03.406 --> 00:20:06.403
Depending on the age, can you make the drills fun, right?

00:20:06.403 --> 00:20:08.336
So we're gonna do a playmaking clinic.

00:20:08.336 --> 00:20:09.482
If you will, I'm gonna.

00:20:09.482 --> 00:20:12.778
I'm gonna try and make as many of those drills fun where it's okay.

00:20:12.778 --> 00:20:15.426
If you fail, in fact, I'm gonna do a drill in a few weeks.

00:20:15.426 --> 00:20:16.028
Mike, you'll like this.

00:20:16.028 --> 00:20:23.386
I have middle school kids and elementary school kids ages out there together, right, and that's just just the way this clinic has been organized.

00:20:23.386 --> 00:20:25.471
So we're doing a playmaking clinic.

00:20:25.471 --> 00:20:28.983
You want to talk about getting kids outside their, their comfort zone?

00:20:28.983 --> 00:20:33.195
We're gonna play a game at the end where we talk about mentorship a lot with these kids.

00:20:33.195 --> 00:20:37.460
The middle school kids are Only gonna be able to pass to the elementary school kids.

00:20:37.460 --> 00:20:38.282
They cannot shoot.

00:20:38.282 --> 00:20:48.792
Now think about this if you're eight years old and there's a 12 year old out there and you know they can't shoot, but they have to pass to you, does that enable you to come outside of your comfort zone a little bit?

00:20:48.792 --> 00:20:52.307
Because I'll tell you right now, when you're eight and there's a 12 year old, you're terrified.

00:20:52.307 --> 00:20:59.377
That kid's a lot bigger than you, they know more than you, they, their voice is deeper than yours, they skate faster than you.

00:20:59.377 --> 00:21:06.923
You know I'm creating the environment where they can all succeed together, right, and I could always.

00:21:08.421 --> 00:21:15.516
So much, there's so much internship going on there and it's so much like you know, you know, humility going on there.

00:21:15.516 --> 00:21:16.000
I mean that's great.

00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:17.241
I mean those are kind of like.

00:21:17.241 --> 00:21:31.073
Those are the kind of things where, as a coach, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're kind of setting the parameters, creating the environment, of the environment, right, but then, but then the kids, you know, hopefully embrace that and understand that this is a positive thing for them.

00:21:31.079 --> 00:21:33.326
Well, let me say so, you can have an apparent be like.

00:21:33.364 --> 00:21:34.542
I can't believe my kid is out there.

00:21:34.703 --> 00:21:38.712
I'm not worried about the parents because here's why and again, I sometimes invite the parents in to listen.

00:21:38.712 --> 00:21:39.903
I talked a minute ago.

00:21:39.903 --> 00:21:41.185
What's the why here?

00:21:41.185 --> 00:21:43.692
You know the drill, you know the outcome of the joy.

00:21:43.692 --> 00:21:44.722
We want to get better at passing.

00:21:44.722 --> 00:21:46.829
You know the drill, the why.

00:21:46.829 --> 00:21:50.929
Well, middle school kids I want you to learn a little bit about mentorship.

00:21:50.929 --> 00:21:53.980
These kids look up to you, just like you look up to the high school kids.

00:21:53.980 --> 00:21:58.231
Do you remember when you were eight years old and a 12 year old might have passed the puck to you?

00:21:58.231 --> 00:21:58.319
I?

00:21:58.319 --> 00:21:59.242
That would make you feel.

00:21:59.242 --> 00:22:05.136
Now I'm enabling them to understand Wow, there's something more here than me just passing the puck right.

00:22:05.136 --> 00:22:05.799
Right about this.

00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:08.707
Do you think now they're a little more invested in making a good pass?

00:22:08.707 --> 00:22:10.029
Because there's a good chance.

00:22:10.029 --> 00:22:13.765
These elementary school kids are not Gonna be able to catch a lightning hard pass.

00:22:13.765 --> 00:22:19.006
So now they got to work on their touch, they got to work on their placement, they got to work on their encouragement.

00:22:19.006 --> 00:22:22.480
There's a high chance the pass will fail every time.

00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:24.480
Is that uncomfortable?

00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:29.175
Yes, are we moving out of the uncomfortable zone?

00:22:29.175 --> 00:22:30.099
Because we're doing it together as a team.

00:22:30.099 --> 00:22:32.630
Have I developed trust?

00:22:32.630 --> 00:22:34.076
Have I developed communication?

00:22:34.076 --> 00:22:34.175
Have.

00:22:34.175 --> 00:22:34.657
I dealt accountability.

00:22:34.657 --> 00:22:35.200
All of it within one drill.

00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.778
But it has to be communicated correctly.

00:22:37.778 --> 00:22:42.717
Now imagine if I would just out, went out there, mike, again for everybody listening.

00:22:42.717 --> 00:22:45.974
All right, no explanation, all right, middle school kids, you can only pass, you can't shoot.

00:22:45.974 --> 00:22:48.576
Sorry, elementary school kids, you better score when they passed you.

00:22:48.576 --> 00:22:50.880
Now I've just created an uncomfortable environment.

00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:54.200
You think those middle school kids are gonna skate hard like I don't want to play where I can't shoot.

00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:55.386
So a lot of this just comes down to the environment.

00:22:55.386 --> 00:23:00.550
Again, it's always gonna come after me.

00:23:00.550 --> 00:23:02.817
For me, the environment you're creating.

00:23:02.817 --> 00:23:12.308
Now, coaches, it is on you to try and develop some of this environment in these drills, like you should be putting fun in the best coaches I see, mike, especially the youth hockey man.

00:23:12.308 --> 00:23:14.578
They make it fun, but there's a purpose behind it.

00:23:14.578 --> 00:23:18.837
Right, it's not just like, hey, there's whoops on the ice, let's go jump.

00:23:18.837 --> 00:23:23.517
No, there's a reason behind the whoops on the ice and you're communicating that effectively.

00:23:23.517 --> 00:23:24.279
Now, parents, I do want to turn this to.

00:23:24.279 --> 00:23:25.739
Are you the parent?

00:23:25.739 --> 00:23:26.217
I'm not.

00:23:26.217 --> 00:23:28.523
I mean, I'm not pointing fingers at any of you.

00:23:28.523 --> 00:23:29.221
You're listening.

00:23:29.221 --> 00:23:34.592
Are you the parent in the car it's saying to your kid after the game.

00:23:34.592 --> 00:23:36.619
Well, if, if, if Sally had passed you the puck, we would have won.

00:23:36.619 --> 00:23:39.270
Or if this kid wasn't such a pock hog, we would have won.

00:23:39.270 --> 00:23:41.463
You're not helping.

00:23:41.463 --> 00:23:44.599
You are now creating an unaccountable player.

00:23:44.599 --> 00:23:47.244
You are now creating an unaccountable player.

00:23:47.244 --> 00:23:49.348
The the quest.

00:23:49.348 --> 00:23:51.452
First off, you should never be coaching in the car after the game anyway.

00:23:51.452 --> 00:23:54.890
But the questions, great questions, demand great answers.

00:23:54.890 --> 00:23:58.866
It's not if Sally had passed you the puck, we would have won.

00:23:58.866 --> 00:24:01.452
It is Sally didn't pass you the puck.

00:24:01.452 --> 00:24:04.589
What would you have done in that situation differently to help the team?

00:24:04.589 --> 00:24:10.571
Or how can you encourage Sally to see you on the ice, because nine times out of 10 they don't even see you right to pass that puck.

00:24:10.571 --> 00:24:12.079
How could that be more cohesive for the team?

00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:13.325
That's a great question.

00:24:13.325 --> 00:24:14.528
Now the kid has to think about that.

00:24:14.528 --> 00:24:19.609
All right, kid might come back and say well, I'm just going to go punch Sally in the head and her helmet to make sure she knows that.

00:24:19.609 --> 00:24:22.606
No, no, no, that's not a good thing to do Now.

00:24:22.606 --> 00:24:24.901
Now you've had a conducive conversation, right?

00:24:24.901 --> 00:24:27.126
I just think my parents play a role in this too.

00:24:27.126 --> 00:24:32.382
I mean, how do you reprimand and we all do how do you reprimand your kids when they do something wrong.

00:24:32.382 --> 00:24:40.335
You know, one of the best pieces of advice I got as a parent, mike and I'm not, I fail at this one all the time Is that it's it was that statement of you.

00:24:40.335 --> 00:24:43.326
Don't say to the kid, why'd you leave your dishes out?

00:24:43.326 --> 00:24:49.284
You're supposed to say, hey, put your dishes in the sink, right, like I think about that now.

00:24:49.284 --> 00:24:53.653
Your kid spends more time with you, the parents, than anybody else.

00:24:53.653 --> 00:25:03.549
So if you want them to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, you need to create that environment at home, which, but which, I'm gonna say, is not always easy.

00:25:03.549 --> 00:25:05.541
I'm a parent.

00:25:05.541 --> 00:25:06.644
It is not always easy.

00:25:06.644 --> 00:25:12.128
Sometimes you just need those little people to go to bed so you know you can watch your tv show or read your book.

00:25:12.128 --> 00:25:14.497
But I think a lot of this plays into home.

00:25:16.721 --> 00:25:17.063
Yeah, but that.

00:25:17.063 --> 00:25:19.588
But again, it's it's at youth, at the youth hockey level.

00:25:19.588 --> 00:25:23.277
Going back to the question, right is is it's a holistic approach.

00:25:23.277 --> 00:25:24.640
It's everyone has to be on the same page.

00:25:24.640 --> 00:25:35.996
It's the conversation between coach, player, parent, private trainer, whatever that is because you're going to have your one on one.

00:25:35.996 --> 00:25:37.458
Trainers like oh my god, you can do this.

00:25:37.458 --> 00:25:38.239
You should try this in a game.

00:25:38.239 --> 00:25:42.990
Oh, my coach, doesn't let me do this in a game, because if I do this, I'm going to stop for three periods.

00:25:42.990 --> 00:25:43.833
I, your coach, is an idiot.

00:25:43.833 --> 00:25:44.835
They don't know what they're talking about.

00:25:44.835 --> 00:25:45.978
Well, they are.

00:25:45.978 --> 00:25:46.619
Your is their coach.

00:25:46.619 --> 00:25:51.166
So I think it's like you know, that's that's where all that conversation has to come in.

00:25:51.166 --> 00:26:18.063
And as you get higher in the higher in the packing order and we've talked to, we've talked to pro trainers on the show that that will say listen, I don't try to change, I don't want to be in conflict with the head coach, I want to be in in collusion with the head coach, yeah, and that we're, that we're on the same page and I'm helping the player improve for the position that they're in, right, not not, not now.

00:26:18.063 --> 00:26:30.644
If I can find ways to allow that player to have more creativity and, you know, be more accountable for knowing that they can make mistakes, that's a process that I have to build in.

00:26:30.644 --> 00:26:32.307
It's not just like, hey, it takes time.

00:26:32.307 --> 00:26:34.250
Now I'm your coach and this is how we're doing it.

00:26:34.651 --> 00:26:35.372
Yeah, I might.

00:26:35.372 --> 00:26:37.777
I think we show us it takes time to build that process.

00:26:37.777 --> 00:26:41.526
Your kids not just going to go from being uncomfortable comfortable overnight, this could take a whole season.

00:26:41.526 --> 00:26:46.163
Right, and you also don't want to go the other way, where it's always uncomfortable, like I.

00:26:46.262 --> 00:27:03.921
you know, I love the statement all the time I hear it at the utaki level that you know to be the best, you got to play the best, the best teams in the country.

00:27:03.921 --> 00:27:06.903
I'm like, but but you never touch the puck.

00:27:06.903 --> 00:27:09.526
So you don't get better by not playing.

00:27:09.526 --> 00:27:12.148
You don't get better by getting your butt kicked.

00:27:12.148 --> 00:27:33.692
You get better by being in competitive situations where then you can try to explore these things, that that that may or may not work, and then you figure out and you deduce that me me carrying the puck over the blue line and doing a spin or Rama has resulted in seven goals against me, as opposed to my skill set.

00:27:33.692 --> 00:27:40.342
Saying, if I put the puck down low and beat the crap out of somebody and get the puck out of the score, that's probably more in my skill set.

00:27:40.342 --> 00:27:42.063
Now, can I work on the spin or Rama?

00:27:42.063 --> 00:27:45.205
Yes, but you're pain associated with that.

00:27:45.205 --> 00:27:52.332
So that's where the process happens, and the age and and your ability, and just you know.

00:27:52.332 --> 00:28:02.782
I think this goes back to a conversation we've had to and a couple of shows where you know we talk about like your role, your role as a player, like are you, do you understand your role and do you understand your skill set?

00:28:02.782 --> 00:28:04.785
So, are you working on that skill set?

00:28:05.365 --> 00:28:31.861
If you're never working on, if you think you're this player but you never work on being that player, then you're not that player right, I think too, mike, that that the things that make you uncomfortable you know it's an opportunity, right, like so, like a lot of the drills I do office, they're designed to make you uncomfortable and designed to showcase where you're failing right, because we want to uncover that so you can work on it.

00:28:31.861 --> 00:28:36.646
Now, listen, there's two schools of thought on this, okay, and I'm going to break them down.

00:28:36.646 --> 00:28:38.249
Let's just use Alex Ovechkin.

00:28:38.249 --> 00:28:39.050
He's a great example.

00:28:39.050 --> 00:28:42.654
Right, he is the greatest goal score and NHL history.

00:28:42.654 --> 00:28:45.744
I'm saying that even before he's broken the record which he's going to break.

00:28:45.744 --> 00:28:58.711
Right, right, right, his first few years in the league, you know, the coaches really tried to have him submit to more of a two way player and eventually I think it was Barry trots came in and let them loose.

00:28:58.711 --> 00:29:00.734
Let him loose, go, score goals.

00:29:00.734 --> 00:29:01.496
That's what you're great at.

00:29:01.496 --> 00:29:02.642
Now here's my point.

00:29:02.642 --> 00:29:04.124
It's easy to look at that go.

00:29:04.124 --> 00:29:06.648
Yeah, that that's someone leaning into their skill sets.

00:29:06.648 --> 00:29:07.349
That's what you should do.

00:29:07.349 --> 00:29:09.114
Well, he's Alex Ovechkin.

00:29:09.114 --> 00:29:12.586
He can make the claim as the greatest goal score of all time.

00:29:12.586 --> 00:29:15.913
That that's exactly what you should let them do, because he's the best in the world at it.

00:29:15.913 --> 00:29:21.151
Right, my nine year old is not Alex Ovechkin.

00:29:21.151 --> 00:29:31.046
So when I see my son or daughter having a problem with something like passing Right, well that's a red flag to me.

00:29:31.046 --> 00:29:33.861
Let's go work on our passing Right.

00:29:33.861 --> 00:29:37.201
Let's go work on our passing, let's make sure that that works All right.

00:29:37.201 --> 00:29:45.673
So I think that when your kids uncomfortable with something, a skill set, you can see and you can go to that kid and say hey, listen, I noticed you're having a hard time with this.

00:29:45.673 --> 00:29:50.391
I noticed that that you need to work on this and that can be an opportunity.

00:29:50.391 --> 00:29:51.942
Mike, here's a question for you.

00:29:51.942 --> 00:29:53.425
Do you remember over speed training?

00:29:56.193 --> 00:29:57.979
Yeah yeah you just jump me.

00:29:58.910 --> 00:29:59.151
All right.

00:29:59.151 --> 00:30:04.823
Over speed training, in addition to making me a better skater, taught me something about myself.

00:30:04.823 --> 00:30:07.597
So, just for everybody listening, I don't think we do this too much anymore.

00:30:07.597 --> 00:30:13.521
But over speed training were drills where you would go and get faster and faster and faster.

00:30:13.521 --> 00:30:15.074
The goal of the drill was to fail.

00:30:15.074 --> 00:30:23.641