Our Kids Play Goalie: Mailbag: What 200+ Goalie Parents Want Skater Families to Know

SPEAKER_02 1:20

This episode is powered by NHL Sense Arena. Hello, hockey friends and families around the world, and welcome back to another edition of Our Kids Play Goalie today. It's Lee Elias with Mike Benelli, just the two of us. Mike, I'm starting to think that, you know, my son's been playing goalie for a few years now, that I think it's okay that you and I just do an episode of this show now without like a famous goalie guest. We've got plenty of those lined up. Uh, but you'll understand with the topic today, gang, why Mike and I are coming on here. But I I think I qualify now, Mike, right, as the as the parent of a goaltender, that we can do shows about this right now, just the two of us, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:01

100%. You you've you've uh experienced all the pain and all the uh and all the frustration and all the uh misconceptions of what a goalie parent would be and as being a goalie parent. And I've uh ruined thousands of goalies. So I mean I I think I think I you know I I would definitely uh thousands.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

How many how many teams have you coached? That's a lot of goalies.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

A lot of goalies, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Well, and and and obviously Mike and I have both both coached, so we're we're goalie forward thinking, we've got a lot of goalie friends. But the topic of today's episode is kind of a mailbag episode. So we asked the question on our social media. Again, you should follow us if you don't. Our kids play hockey uh on Instagram, Facebook, Threads, uh X, wherever you follow us, right? We put the question out parents of goalies, what is the one thing you wish skater parents understood? And when we put these out, you know, we're hoping for five or six replies, maybe you know, a couple things to get the conversation going. Well, we got 210 plus replies on this this question from goalie parents, so it's something they feel strongly about. So I want to say two things. One, we're gonna obviously not gonna be able to get through all 200 plus of these uh in one episode, uh, not even five episodes. That's a lot of people. Uh, but what I do want to say to the audience is list, we're gonna acknowledge the goalie parents out there with this. If you're not a goalie parent, I mean, this episode's kind of for you, all right? We we're calling it our kids play goalie, but we're reading through these. There's some really good things in here that I know for a fact if you're not a goalie parent, you're just not thinking this. It's not, it's not a it's not a shame thing, you're just not thinking it, right? Uh, some of these things. So Mike and I are just gonna read some of these, uh, maybe say some of the first names associated with them, just discuss them and uh have a good time with it, right? But and let me just say before we begin, thank you for participating, goalie parents, right? Uh, we apparently, Mike, we found 200 of the uh thousands of goalies that you've ruined that want to be acknowledged here. Um, I'm sure you're a great goalie coach, but um, let's start from the top because this is one there's a few that had a common thread, right? Um, and this one's from Jason, but again, a lot of people said it. And it's just it takes six people to allow a goal to be scored. And I know what he's alluding to that a lot of people probably go, oh, when an easy shot goes in the net, it does happen. But he's making a good point, all right? There's five skaters on the ice, and every one of them plays a role in the goal being scored against, even if it's a little flubbered toss to the net that goes in. Mike, what are your thoughts on that? Uh, it's fair. Uh, and there's two sides to that one, but what are your thoughts on that one?

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Yeah, I mean, he he brings up whatever, you know, it all depends on what position you play. The wingers blame the D, the D play blame the goalies, and nobody gives the goalie credit for when you win because it but you know, because they really didn't do much to score, right? So it's uh I get it. I mean, I it it it's definitely a um a mindset, I think, that could be brought on by coaches. And it's a culture of this is a team and that everybody contributes and everybody has a role to play. And sometimes, you know, a missed check in the offensive zone and uh and a and a flyby in the defensive zone results in a goal, even if you have the best goalie in the world. So I think it's just a matter of you know, having that culture and having that conversation with your families and players, especially, you know, that everybody has a contribution to make. Now, every team has any any given year, maybe the weakest link on your team is the goalie. Maybe your weakest link on the team is that you can't score goals. Maybe that you know, uh again, it's hard to it's hard to blame any in the sport of hockey, it is almost impossible to blame any single individual for wins and losses. Right. It's just it's just uh it's just the team, the the sport is not made that way.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Yeah, and I look, I'll even take it a step further because uh, you know, I like I I've had situations where we have a like a brand new goalie, maybe a kid who's never played goalie full-time in net. Um, I go out of my way as a coach to tell the parents, hey, we've got a new goal tender here that we're gonna coach up and teach, and all of us play a role in helping that goalie get better. And then I'll tell the kids in the locker room, hey, one of our jobs is to limit the shots on net and support this goalie to make it kind of like a team environment, right? Because it's so easy just to point after a shot goes in and say you should have saved that or make a save. So I think it's really important to tell the parents this. Um, I and I also say to the parents, hey, is does anybody else's kid want to volunteer to play goalie? Right, and no one typically raises their hand on that. That should be the indicator right there. All right. So that that comment, and again, we had that comment a few high a few times on here, had 179 like likes and hearts on the comment. So not only did that happen, but this next one, Mike. Uh, this next comment had 228 thumbs up and eight replies, right? So you know this is a conversation starter. Carrie says, and this is this is a pet peeve of mine, too. I'm with Carrie on this. Warm up your goalie, don't try to break them down and score on them in the warm-ups. The whole point of warming up a goalie is to increase confidence pre-game. So you should be aiming at the glove or block or abdomen, not head or shoulders or five-hole. The only addendum I'd make to this is some of this is up to the goaltender and what they want, but I'd say 99% of goaltenders in warm-ups, they want good shots to feel the puck, depending on how long the warm-up is. They may want some more movement. But for the love of the hockey gods, parents tell your kids, especially in youth hockey, the first shot they take should not be the triple deke backhand roof shot on your goaltender unless you want them to pull a hamstring or hurt themselves. Most goalies won't even take the shot. Warm up your goalie. I always say to my kids, Mike, the warm-up is for the goalie, right? The warm-up is for your goalie. Obviously, your body too, but don't go down there and start deaking the heck out of your goalie. Also, and then showing the other team if they're watching the weak spots. Your thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Make the goalie look good. Hit them. I think it's like, I think there's a there's so there's so many nuances to this. Like the it depends on the age and and the level of the player, right? But basically, you know, if you're in a two-goalie system, yeah, uh, and and you know, those goalies really at the and at any age over nine years old should be really, really doing most of their warm-up uh before they even get on the ice. Like they should be ready to go, warmed up, ready to go before they even step on the ice. And then that the pet peeve is definitely warranted because you know, kids are shooting the pucks out of the corners. You have two players coming in at once and they're both shooting at the same time. A lot of that has to do with, you know, set I think I I agree. Have a conversation with your goalie, looking at what is more comfortable for you. Make make your warm-up. If you're gonna wing warm up, you're winging the warm-up. Like, and then that's doesn't look good. It's not good, it's not great for the goaltender, it's not great for shooters. And I think, you know, I tell our shooters all the time when they're warming a goalie up, aiming for the glove and aiming for the pads is just like aiming for the corner. It's just aiming is aiming. So if you're gonna hit him, like focus on hitting pads, like you you could really see great warm-ups on teams when you're you don't you don't hear the boards in the glass, right? It's the thump of the pad.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

That or a post. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Or a post. You know, you're just you're just hearing the pucks in and around the net. And goalies want that too. They don't want to be seeing a puck sail over their head. So I think you know, hitting them, creating opportunities for them to feel the puck, that's the warm-up. The warm-up is to get now. If you don't like that, you're a a double, you're you're uh, you're a tandem goaltending, then stay out of the net. Let the other guy that's not playing, let him take the warmup, like let him take the shots, and then you prepare a different way. But a lot of this falls on the coaching staff.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Right. That's one of the comments we got here, too, is that warm up. Coaches are responsible for this. And look, I say it every game, all right. Like the goalie is for the I'm sorry, the warm-up is for the goaltender. Um, and I we look, here's another one, gang. We uh, you know, in the early part of the season, we practice our pregame warm-up with younger teams, all right. So they know what to do. Like, like one of the big mistakes is oh, go warm up. Like they don't know what to do. You get the butterfly drill and they get three shots on that, the whole warm-up. All right. Um, so I just think it's really important to have these conversations. Uh, I also encourage everyone, if you ever have the opportunity, uh, and there's probably plenty of videos on YouTube here, watch an NHL warm-up. Okay, now listen, NHL warm-ups are 20 minutes and not three, but watch for what Mike just said. Watch how many pucks miss the net, watch how many breakaways moves they're making on their goalies in the warm-up. That doesn't happen, okay, unless the goalie asks for it. All right, it's all about precision and getting ready for the kids out there. Again, if you're if you need to make your big breakaway move in the warm-up to feel good about yourself, just remember you may feel great after that. The goalie might not, it might be hurting your team, and you don't need to do that move with a goalie in the net. All right. Last thing, too, I was pretty keen as a coach and as a player. I watch the other teams warm-up a lot, and I'll tell you what, goalies tend to give their weak spots up in a warm-up. And I love nothing more than when a when a team is lighting their goalie up in the warm-up because you're telling us where to shoot, and it's more obvious than you think, parents. Okay, uh, especially as you as you kind of get to that mid-youth hockey, high youth hockey area. When I see a goaltender not using their glove in warm-ups, I know what I'm doing in the game. All right, so just keep that in mind. One follow follow-up that was funny. Bronson says here, I can't tell if he's being sarcastic, but I think he's being serious. He goes, I'll be sharing this with my team as a beer leaguer. I never thought of that. I was thinking, oh, yeah, I'll score one on Tendy, so I'm warmed up. Thanks. So beer league is the first thing.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Bearly's the worst. I mean, I've I've had I've had adult league goalies just walk out of the net and say, I I I'm gonna wait for the game to start. Like you go ahead and shoot on nothing, I don't care. Because you know, and you got guys, you know, but I think and this even goes to practice, like a goalie pra goalie warming up for practice and jumping in the net, and and you know, especially in a practice where there's pucks coming from everywhere, right? You know, you really be cons you gotta be really considerate about who's in net and what that's what what you're establishing for your normal, you know, everyday warm-up.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Right, a hundred percent. And and again, it just you have to have the thought. Uh on this line of thinking, this one's funny. Uh, Gregory wrote this one uh in all caps, and I I I agree with you. This one has a whole chain of comments underneath it, 87 thumbs up. It just says simply do not shoot on the net in practice if the goalie is not facing you and ready for a shot. Hundred percent agree. All right. I especially when my son started, I I'd be terrified when he'd turn his back while he was in the net because these kids are not looking up. All right. So this is a two-way street. One is the goaltender has to know not to do that. Like a young goalie, I used to tell them do not turn your back while you're in that, leave the net. Okay, leave the net. Uh, and then the other one is on parents, you you've got to, I mean, you probably do tell your kids like do not shoot the puck. If there's no padding in the back, I should say that to everybody, guys. Goalies have almost no padding in the back of their gear, their whole back is pretty much open for being hit, okay? Um, a little bit, like like the first layer of your kid's shoulder pads, that's basically what they have. And there's a lot of area that's not protected. Um, it's a great way to screw your goalie up by hitting them there. Mike, I don't think there's much to say on that one. Uh, this next comment a hundred times. Yes, I watched the goalie get knocked out after a warm up and not be able to start the game. Uh, this is so serious. Next one. How true. My son got a haircut and went straight to the hockey and felt his helmet came off, and someone still hit him in the head. My it's I mean, crazy. Here's another one. My keeper, my keeper was setting up the net on the post, and a teammate shot at the shot at the net while he had his back turned bending over. Uh, he's a calm headed kid, but it sure got him upset when he got nailed. Uh, don't I told him not to put the pegs in anymore.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

It's amazing. It's the same kid shooting the puck that that when the one kid is, you know, picking the pucks up from the net and he's down on his knees, you know, putting the pucks in the bucket, and kids are still coming in and ripping shots. I mean, I'm like, guys, this has got to be, this is this is nuts. Like there has to be some kind of etiquette here. But a lot of this comes down to, you know, again, be be aware, set the culture, don't let players shoot from the corners. If you're gonna shoot on a goalie, you're the only person shooting on the goalie, right? And that goalie is looking at you. I think it's just a you know, it's a very, you know, if you say to a kid, if the goalie's not looking at you, you're not shooting at him, like like in the warm-up. Like you that goalie needs to know you're the shooter, and I think that's uh, you know, that that could save a lot of kids uh you know, yeah, inner inner inner ribs.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

On this one too, Mike, you know, with with younger kids, like sometimes you do drills where you end up get two people going to shoot on net at once, and both kids want to shoot. Goalie has to select one of the two. All right, you can't take two shots at once because it's my shot, it's the goalie's shot. So if the goalie's not looking at you, don't shoot the puck or don't try and do it. Right. Uh, this next one I just have to read. Uh, we kind of covered it, but Christine says, I'm the mom of four goalies. Ay, ay, aye. I uh God, Christine. First off, before I even read anything else, God bless you and your family. Okay, that that's a lot. It just says I've repeatedly yeah, I've repeatedly told them that when there's a uh goal, remember that there's five other people that uh were on the ice. We talked about that uh already, too. Okay, um, here's a good one from Ryan. This one got a lot of a lot of attention. We are not anti-social parents, we are in cardiac arrest. That was really, really good. Uh, listen, I personally I'm very comfortable with my kid in the net. All right. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I've coached or I played or my my philosophies on life, but excuse me, I'm just very comfortable with my kid. I kind of know the puck's gonna go in sometimes. It doesn't, it doesn't kill me. Um, my wife, on the other hand, other people, not it's not so calming, and I acknowledge that. Um, I I don't know what the player equivalent of this would be, Mike, but it's true. When your son or daughter is in the net the entire game, and the whole thing is based off will they make the save. Uh it's a high stress environment for the parent. It would, I should say it can be a high stress environment environment for the parent. And other parents need to remember that when that when that goalie parent's standing in the corner, it's not that they don't like it, they just they can't talk.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

That's you know, my son played goal, uh lacrosse goalie in high school and uh you know, all four years. And um, I never really nothing really uh affected me watching him as a parent because I I think I've been with so many athletes and know what that position takes in order to, you know, you're not seeing the little nuances of what went well and what didn't go well, but my wife, oh God, it was like it was every day, it's sitting at the edge of your seat, you know, like this is affecting me because it affects my son or my daughter. Like it's it's a direct reflection, not of you as a parent, but of your anxiety of the players. Now, I will say a lot of that anxiety, if you can hide it or or or manage it, helps your goalie. If the goalie sees you pacing up, they're watching you, right? So I think it's like so you're absolutely right, though. That that that piece that um you're I don't think goalie now there are plenty of goaltending parents that are antisocial, just like winger parents. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

It's not limited to goaltenders.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

I think goaltending is a little tougher because again, it's it you're a part of basically every play, um, good or bad, somehow there's there's you're you're in the play all the time. So I think and and and then when you're not in the play, it's the waiting game. Like, oh, like it's it's it's in the zone, it's in the zone, it's in the zone. Oh my god, now they're coming down on me, and it the focus is all on you. So I think it is hard, a lot of anxiety, but if you're a parent that sits by themselves, um, I I agree. I don't think it's I don't classify you as antisocial as much as somebody that says, Hey, listen, I'm just trying to control my emotions, yeah, and I just want to relax and and and you know, maybe I can forget about what's going on in the game.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Like, I'm gonna say it again. I I people have come up to me and say, How are you so calm with your kid in the net? Um, and I'm gonna say it again, like I am as a coach, right? The puck is going to go in the net sometimes. Now, I don't want it to go in, I want my kid to make the save, but I think I also take a goaltender's approach to this, Mike, which is hey, every goal against is a chance for him to learn and be better, and we can we can work together to find a way forward.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Um, that's be a long time in lacrosse to understand. Like in hockey, like it's a three-four, you know, three to four, you know, two to one. Lacrosse is like 18 to 16. Yeah, like you don't if you don't if you don't get used to balls going in the net, like goals being scored, like it's hard. Like, like when I first started watching him play goalie, I'm like, oh my god, 18 goals. He goes, Yeah, but I had you know 33 saves. Right. Because I had a great like like I was the best goalie in the league that year, you know. So it's like, you know, so it's a really hard, I think for goaltending parents, too, it's the same thing. Like another parent has to see that yes, they gave up that goal, but did you see all like you're not remembering all of the great plays they made to make saves? So it's like it's a very listen, it's it's it's nobody nobody will disagree that it's a tough position to evaluate um if a goalie's good or bad from a lay person's point of view. From just watching scores, it's very hard to say, oh, that team is that team's record is this, that's a bad goalie. And and that that's a that's in hockey, it's just not it's just not accurate.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Now, here's another one from Matt. Uh, this is kind of along the same lines as there's there's five people on the ice, but it's a little different. He writes, the goalie didn't lose the game when the shots on net are 50 to 5. Uh now that's true. Now, listen, in my experience, when we have a lopsided game like that, I I don't hear my boy getting too much flack, but apparently it happens. Someone else wrote here, Aaron wrote, louder for the parents in the back, please, or when the score is eight to one and the offense only scored one goal. So here's the things that I I want to say here as a goalie parent. Um, um, because the blame goes like the the the I'm sorry, the the pointing the finger goes both ways. It takes five players to get through to the goaltender. I also tell my my kids that you know there's also five players in front of you, right? Like you have a responsibility to do the best that you can too. So I'm gonna say two things on this, okay? Um, if a game is ever that lopsided, yeah, if you're if you are a parent pointing the finger at the goalie, I mean you're an a-hole at that point. I don't know what else to say about that. All right, I don't care how good or bad the goalie is, right? That's that's a bigger problem. Uh, and it also means you're playing a team you probably shouldn't be playing from a parody standpoint. Um, and then the other one is this I do tell my son this, and this is how I say it. All right, if we lose a game, uh two-one, one-nothing, um, I tell him, I say, look, you it and it's this is not a judgment on the skaters. I said you can't score and make saves, right? Like, you can't score when you're in a goalie, you can only keep your team in a position to win. I want to repeat that. I tell him, just keep your team in a position to win. I tell it to all my goaltenders, not just my son. But you can't the goalie can't score, also. And I remind him that after the games it's like, let's let's I know you're you hate losing, but like, did you play bad? I'll give you an amazing example. A couple years ago, um, we were playing a team that was just like unbelievably good, probably in a division too low, but they were that that successful, and we played them two games in a weekend, and Mike, I'm not kidding you, they had 110 shots on net in these two games, like combined, all right. And we're losing the games, you know, 7-1, 6-1. And you know, my son was kind of upset, and I said, This is where I pulled this out. Like, Logan, I'm not gonna lie to you, that's my son's name. Save percentage is pretty good here, all right. You you took like 56 shots today, and you gave up five or six goals. That's that's better than your normal save percentage. You know what I mean? Like, like I I'm not I I always say this to my kids. I don't mean just I mean like the kids I coach. Like, I'm follow me here, parents. I'm not okay with losing. Okay. I am okay with the effort. And when I say I'm not okay with losing, all I mean by that is that I don't think anyone ever has to be like, yeah, we lost, right? It's just like I just I don't enjoy, I don't, I'm not okay with losing. Okay, but that doesn't mean I'm placing blame after a loss. I hope that's coming across the right way. I don't want my athletes to feel okay about losing, but I do want them to feel okay about their effort. These are two different things, okay? Like, like and again, this is where I'm a little different than like, oh, it uh what's that what's that saying, right? Like everything is fun, right? No, hockey has to be fun. You win a lot some and you lose some. It doesn't mean losing has to be okay. Is this coming across the right way, Mike? The way I'm saying that. I I hope it I hope it is to the parents.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

I think for any competitor, losing, no matter how well you lost, yeah, is losing. Like you can make you could you could definitely justify the loss. You can say, well, that team had one player that scored nine goals on us, or hey, that team had, you know, uh, every kid was a year older, or you know, whatever, or they're in the wrong division. They chose like you go to a tournament, you lose, you say, Oh, they're in the wrong division. It's not the losing, again, it's never the losing that for me that's the issue. It's it's the attitude and the effort and the ability that like like did you compete? If you're competing and and you're and you now kids, children, men, women, we all get heated up and upset. I think in the goaltending world, uh you if you could take uh and I I I've loved I I've loved watching some goaltending parents that I've worked with and goaltending coaches that I've worked with working with goaltenders that say the loss is bad as a team. The great thing now, the positive thing about being a goaltender is you can actually implement your game separate than everyone else. Like you could say, Yes, these three goals, I should have been here. These four goals, there's nothing I could have done about that. There's no goalie in the world. And then and then you can talk, and then you could talk about the nuances of the position, right? If you're an AU goalie playing in a full-size net, you can say, Well, every goal that went in was directly over my shoulder. Every goal. Yeah, and then with because they have an endless, you know, there's an endless area to shoot the puck. Like, so like to me, that's how you can again not justify, it's not the word, but you can then start to start to really say, hey, yeah, you you played really, really well structurally. You played really well, you know, physically, mentally, there's certain things that mentally, there's certain things that happen in the game that you can't control um that nobody would ask you to control, but there's a couple of things what you could have done better. Now, if you can get to those pieces in youth hockey, I'm not talking about you know paid paid hockey. If you can get to those pieces in youth hockey and understand that, yes, there's there's six players on the ice, and I get it, and every it has to go through five players to score. But the I think the actual cool thing about being a goaltender is you could actually pinpoint the exact way you played and and approached shots and make an argument as to why the populator did not go in.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

And then you could say, well, they had 29 shots on net, I gave up four, and those four goals, I think I should have had one of them.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

And the other three were like like you know, the the defense my defenseman shot the buck out of me.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

Yeah, this is like analysis.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

So it's all that's it's really cool that you can, I think, like when you look at the scheme of like all those comments, right? And goaltend, why goaltending parents get like so like uh crazy is because they they're not maybe they're not even seeing the nuances of the position.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Look, I'm gonna throw this in too. As this is with one of my own, okay, like as a goalie parent. All right, my son grew five inches last year, his voice dropped two octaves. All right, it's a I'm looking at a different human being when I come home every day than I was two years ago. All right. Here's something you got to remember um for young goalies, right? When he was five inches shorter, shots up high are an a completely different save, completely different save for him than they are today. Now, has it gotten better and easier for him? Yeah, he's taking up more of the net. But Mike, to your point, when he was like a first-year squirt, um, and like his head was just coming over the horizon of the post, you know, it's like, yeah, if you shoot high, he's he might have to reach up to make that save, right? Whereas now he doesn't even have to do that, right? So so they're relearning this position constantly from what they have to do. And to your point, I was able to say to him when he was shorter, like, well, Logan, you know, you physically are just not tall enough to get from one post to the other when you make a split. And if they find that little seam, like they might find a way to get there. Okay, but I used to say to him, when you get taller, this won't happen, which which is true, right? So it's not that we're wishing away goals, it's it's kind of like being realistic about well, you know, you'll be able to make that. What I liked about that is that you made the right move, you made the right motion to try and make that save. In the future, that will pay off. Um, I also wanted to say this too, just on the the loss thing. I I should have said this before. I tell my kids this it's kind of it's not I'm not okay with losing. Going back to that, it's to me, it's really how the loss occurred. So I can handle a loss if I know the effort was there. I have a really hard time with losing when the effort's not there, and I'm not even upset about the loss, I'm upset about the effort, and that's what I'm trying to say, right? Like, like it's how you do it. And I I've said this before on the show there's a lot of different wins and losses in the game. All right, I can lose a score again, not be okay with that, but I can be okay with the effort, and that that's what I'm trying to say, okay? Um I'm gonna keep going here. There's so many. Um, Ashley says, This is a good one when the goalie says to move or taps for you to move, move. You are restricting the goalie from seeing the play or seeing the puck. Learn to listen to the cues the goalie is trying to tell you. My little goalies get so upset because he knew he could have made the save, but didn't because someone was in the way. Now, yeah, some of this is an awareness thing, some of this is a growth thing. But Ashley, you're absolutely right. In in in at least in my teams, Mike, I'm sure it's true with yours. The goaltender is the general on the ice. If a goalie says, I can't see the puck because you're in my way and you're on the same team, you always listen to that goaltender. Like that is the final say. There's no, oh no, I'm trying to defend this guy in front, or I'm trying to do this. If the goalie can't see and they say I can't see, and goalies, you need to say that, you get out of the way. It doesn't matter what the coach is saying. I'm gonna say that as a coach. If I'm saying get in front to you as a player, and the goalie says I can't see, that's that actually supersedes what I'm saying. All right, because they can't make the the the the play. And here's some comments here. Tim says, I used to just yell out, can't see. Nancy says, Yes, the goalie sees the ice, the player sees the puck. Listen, um, and then here's one from uh Maria says my 16U boy is defense, he would do anything for his goalies, including to not screen them. They have to be able to see, defend with them, not against them. 100% true. The goaltender defenseman center tandem is a very important thing. You have to work together. All right. So I just I really agree with that one, Mike.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

Yeah, I mean, let's not, let's not, I don't want to give goal lazy goalies the the pass here. You gotta move too. I mean, you know, just you got to move and find find uh find those screens and find your way through traffic, and that's part of being a goaltender and learning the game, right? But I think that I think the uh the the overriding theme here though really comes down to teaching your goalies to communicate and teaching your players to accept the communication. Right. So there's two, like I think a lot of people get like, oh my god, all this guy does is yap and talk and tell me what to do. Well, I don't know if you know, again, so so you have to coach your goalies that they're not being like like like just obnoxious about like I'm telling you to get out of my way right now. It's more like we're understanding that he can see what you can't see, and that player or can't see what you can see. So just that play that goalie uh has to be able to be coached to accept that role, but then understand how to speak to other players on the team, especially it's funny, like it really depends on the age and depends on the type of personality you have with your kids because some kids just get like who the hell is this kid? All he does, uh you know, I'm I'm not why would why should I listen to him? He sucks, like he keeps getting up goals. Like, so it's it, but that's a coachable time. A hundred percent teacher teach your goalies how to communicate, but teach your defensemen and and and forwards how to accept the communication. All of that then works together, where ultimately, which should be a great thing, everyone's communicating. Yeah, and ultimate, and that's really what we want the most. Like, I love hearing when you hear a team that's talking, not not trash talking, talking to each other, and and the coach is never directing from the bench. What a beautiful thing that is.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

100%. And I'll and I'll say this too that uh coaches, you do yourself a favor, parents too, um, when you really boost the we have to protect our goalie, we got to do what we can for that goaltender. Create that mentality early, right? Because it's so important. And the kids, kids will typically really take that under their wing, and then you are now in a place where their brain are open. Well, how can I better protect my goalie? All right. But again, goalies got to see that puck. Mike, I like what you say too. It can't be lazy, right? Like it can't be the puck's on the left side and you're still on the right side and there's someone in front of you. Like, but you're out of position now. So that's the other side of that. Um, brings us to a great point of the episode. I'm excited to tell everybody about this at home. Um, this is the first time we're actually doing this in an episode ever. Um, we've created a new page on our website, our kidsplayhockey.com forward slash deals, where we've got a whole smorgasbord of stuff from our partners and our sponsors for you to check out. We're talking about clearing the front of the net, Mike, and making sure no one's in front of you. Um, you all know our title sponsor, NHL Censorina, is out there. They have so many drills in here, not just for goalies, but for players, where they'll simulate someone in front of you in the net. So even if you're a skater, you can experience this from the point of view from a goalie, which I actually recommend to every player is to try and get net and feel this. This lets you do that without actually putting the pads on. And then adversely, for the skater side of things, they have so many hockey IQ drills about where to be in these situations, right? So I'm telling you this, Mike, because you know this too. Use Sensorina a lot, that they always have a deal with us here at Our Kids Play Hockey or our kids play goalie for this episode. If you go to our page, our kidsplayhockey.com forward slash deals, you can see all the active deals from NHL Censorina um and our other sponsors, hockey wraparound. They have the goalie wraparound, so your kid can actually go outside with their goalie stick now and practice. Obviously, they have that for players as well. They're giving 15% off when you use the code on the website. Um, and then as many of you know, we're all authors here. Uh, we've written a lot of books. You can go there and check out all the books that we've written. Uh, from all of them are top 10 on Amazon right now in youth hockey, which is blows Christy and Mai's mind. Um probably because of the support from you. But we've got books for new kids just joining the game. If your kids in the middle or a teenager, everything's there at our kidsplayhockey.com forward slash deals. And also, I want to give a shout-out to our producer, uh Caitlin. If you go to our website, there's also a new store with a lot of new apparel that we've created. We're gonna start sharing soon. But if you wanted a my kid plays goalie mug t-shirt, that's all available to you now, gang. All right, when I see something, 210 comments, something tells me we're listening. But Mike, again, I do want to go back to Sensorena um as a tool because I remember getting in there the first time. Remember, I I never played goalie, right? And getting in quote unquote the net and having someone screen me. I was like, this sucks. Remember, like this is this is hard to do, right?

SPEAKER_00 33:32

And I think I think, you know, I think in the analogy I would use, you know, on as far as like finding the deals for a goaltending parent, is like we have cleared the crease. I mean, we're giving you uh, you know, the the we've you we've given you all the options to say, hey, listen, we've already done the research, we've done, we've used lots of products and and and partnered with lots of people that we liked and don't like, and where it's great and failed. And I think this is a great place to find the ones that are successful. And uh and I I personally have loved Sense Arena since it's come out. Um again, it's gotten better and better and better. It's actually, you know, originally it was really just a goal, like it was really just built for gold.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

Yeah, originally.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

And and you know, and I think now they've evolved so much where you could just get in there, get warmups in, um, you know, to spend you just 15 minutes a day, 20 minutes a day, doing some stick hailing. I I love like they have they have a whole on the USA hockey partnership side, they have a whole part where you can just do cognitive development and you're doing things like you know, just just locating the pocket and finding forwards, defensemen, goal-ties. So again, it's a it's a low impact, no pain, and you get to experience like I got into the goaltending section, and you and you end up putting like you know, uh NHL level players, and literally don't do the pocket. You're like, like this is nuts. Like this, this is really and it's real. And I think so. There, you know, and again, um the the fact that NHL players are using this on a regular basis and using it to train has to say, and they're and it and they're not doing it.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

And my son, my son uses it before games. I don't want that to be lost.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

He's young, like he's 12 years old, 13 years old when we're it's a low impact way to get into the net and or getting some stick handling in, and you know, it's a rainy day and you can't go into your shooting deck that you just throw the headset on, you play a little bit. And again, it's just to me, anytime you can get more hockey into your system and do it where where you're not having to go to a rink, get dressed, put all the gear on, you know, do all the do all those pieces, uh, it it really does pay for itself, knowing how much ice we're in the northeast. Ice time's expensive, getting to the rink's expensive, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

Or if you're in an area with no ice, that's the other thing.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

Even finding ice, even finding the opportunity to state is hard. Uh, this this knocks down all those barriers. And again, if it's a product that that we didn't use and it was just like a sales pitch, I think it would be it would come across differently. It's a product we use every day, and we love seeing players into it because it definitely shows improvement when they use it.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

Yeah, and you look for those of you listening, yeah, we're talking about our sponsor because we believe in our our sponsor and our partner here, right? And I'll say it again too. Hockey wraparounds on there, they uh have the top selling blade protectors in the world, whether you're a skater or this is important for this episode. A goalie. The goalie can go outside and finally work on their passing and you know, if they want to try and shoot the puck, uh, protect their stick, get it out there. We've got deals again. Go to our kidsplayhockey.com forward slash deals. They will always update. You can see if you're listening to this episode five years in the future. This page is still here. You can see what the current deals are. And I know from talking to NHL Censoring and the gang over there, uh, some of the stuff they have coming. Like I said, I don't I don't want to tell you. It's amazing. I just check it out. Take a minute and check it out. Do the math equation in your house of if this makes sense, right? Um, and get the deal there. All right, and check out our new story. You guys are gonna love that. Um, all right, I'm gonna get back into these comments again. We're not gonna get through all of them today. Uh, this is definitely gonna be a seven-parter mailbag series. Um, but let's get to the next one. This one is from Samantha, and I think it's an important one that parents understand this. No one will ever be as hard on the goalie as they are on themselves, mom of a 10-year-old goalie and wife of a goalie who's been playing 30 years. That's so true. Um, I don't think sometimes we all realize when the puck goes in, this goalie is going through a whole mental process of breaking this down, what just happened. They have to deal with their emotions, they're feeling this goal more than anyone. It's so easy for them to think everything is on them. I remember my son telling me one year, Mike, when he was the only goalie on the team, that it feels like every shot is the end of the world. And like he didn't mean that like he doesn't want to be in net, but he's realizing like I'm the only option to make this safe, right? So there's just a lot of pressure that comes with the position, and most goaltenders have to learn mechanisms to deal with that. A lot of them are very psychological beings, a lot of them find some stoicism in the position, at least the ones that I find that are very successful. Um, but you got to remember that, like they're really hard on themselves, they know it went in. They're the first one to know it went in, usually. All right. So just keep that in mind, Samantha. Really great comment there. Mike, any thoughts on that one?

SPEAKER_00 38:04

No, I mean, I think that and then know your goaltender. You know, they know they know it went in, uh, and uh you don't need to remind them uh that it's okay. Sometimes, you know, know your goaltender. If they if they just don't need you, come in, give me a pat on the pads. You know, they just want you, they just want if their routine is to forget about it and wipe it away, then let them go through that routine and let them finish their, you know, whatever their process is, and hopefully they have a process, um, that if there's uh a negative thing that happens, they can deal with it. And then if they don't, then again, this is where coaches come into play. And you need to teach these goaltenders to to, you know, not you can't the the hard part about goaltending, right? One of the hardest parts about goaltending is you don't have you have no time to go back on the bench and sit there, you know, for three shifts and regroup. No, like you're literally a face-off right after a horrible goal.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

Yeah, if you're on the screen, you're you're done.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

Yeah, right. So so this is this is the time where know your goaltender, know what kind of space they need if they have it, and and and also know if they need a hug. Like no, know if they need you know a timeout, uh, you know, and and give them space. Like you just got to know your goaltenders and feel them and and but ask them, ask them what they want.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

100%. All right, move moving on here. This this is a good one too from David. Uh, my kid wants to be part of the group, he doesn't live on a solitude island. Um, I think that's really important too, because like I've I've found sometimes coaching that goalie will make a save, just a general save. It's silent. Like, let your goalie know. Hey, great save. Like, yell from the bench every time they make a save, especially when they're younger. Okay, that's what I'm more talking about when they're younger. It's a routine save when you're older, you you expect that. But yeah, they want to be part of the team, also. All right, the kids want to be part of the team, and I think you have to remember that. You know, another one just kind of building on this from Kira, it says the more confidence you have in your goalie, the more confidence your goalie will have uh in the selves. It's such a mental position, just as much as a physical. I I would say, Kira, that some of that's on the goalie individually, just to make sure they're feeling confident. But you're right, it doesn't hurt uh to have your kids confident in you when they goalies know when you don't believe them. All right, and that's a very it's already a hard position. You know, you want to talk about Solitude Island, be on a team like that.

SPEAKER_00 40:11

It's uh you it's your that that the goaltenders and or goaltender, depending on your team, right? Is uh it would go back to the the the initial conversation we had. Um if I'm missing a defenseman, I could probably get away with things. If I'm missing the centerman, I could get away with things. If I'm missing my goaltender, I can't play a game.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

Right.

SPEAKER_00 40:33

So it's just that the bottom line is figure out a way to have those conversations, positive, uh, you know, be an uplifting, you know, voice for your for your defense for your for your last line of defense. Um, and going back to the previous question, you know, and coaches, incorporate those goalies into everything you do. Don't everything. Like, you know, I went to a uh I went to a clinic with Mike Richter and and John Van Biesbrook and a couple of guys speaking one time. And one of the things that like the cultural change has been like, oh, that's the weird goalie that does his own thing. Like, incorporate those goalies into your team. Make sure that they are part of the process of building your team. Again, they did there's certain things that they need on their own, but they are part of a unit, they're part of a group of teams of players, and you got to incorporate them into everything.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

Yeah, and that plays right into our next one from Chris. He said, I'll read this one. Uh uh, it's important you know that these players are taught to be proactive, to create their space, and do little things to be successful. Goalies are taught to be reactive and not to overreact. One of those is a physical skill, the other one is a mental one. This is the important part. Also, most coaches can teach players. I've only had one coach who understood how to teach a goalie. Um, I think that's something that's being worked on. I do see more improvements in the goalie coaching space. A lot of teams that I work with now have a goalie coach that will come out to practices once once a month or twice a month. Um, I think the big thing for this is really more for coaches than it is for just parents. And Mike just said it. Um, if you plan your practice and you have not at the end of that plan looked back at your drills and gone over what's the goalie doing here, you have failed that goaltender. All right. I'm not saying every single drill has to have the goalie, but you need to plan the time. For example, if I have a drill where I'm working on passing, there probably will not be too many shots. So I need that goaltender now to be with someone or doing something. They can it might be participating in the drill, honestly, but I need to have someone with that goalie working on something else. They should never be standing there. I have seen at the highest levels goalies leave a practice because there's nothing to do. And and I would be pissed too if a coach didn't do that. So we just have to make sure, coaches, that you look at that practice, think have I incorporated the goalie, and and is if I incorporate them in a way that's gonna help them become better. All right, because if it's just the same shot every time, that's not helping them either. Go ahead, Mike.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

Yeah, and make a game like you know, uh create create you know all that havoc and create all that that's that that you know congestion, and and you know, again, it's one puck, not 12 pucks. You know, just do things that that simulate the best opportunity, especially if you're a team that only practices like twice a week. Make sure the goalies are getting good positive reps that replicate the game.

unknown 43:21

Right.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

You're doing nothing if you're not doing game-like reps because the goalies don't have the time to get them in. It's not this is not you know an NHL or college team where they get to go on the ice for an hour by themselves with the goalie coach. You've got to find a way to incorporate the best ROI in your practices, and that's designing drills that end in positive you know, reps for the goalie.

SPEAKER_02 43:45

I'm I'm just gonna say it from you, Mike. I'm gonna speak for you here. If you're not doing this, what the hell are you doing? It's the most important position on your team. Yeah, uh, you can't ignore it. Like, like I just it blows my mind. If if I had to if I had to pick one player or one group of players to work on the most, probably be the goaltender to make sure that they're where they need to be. All right. Um, I know it's a full team. Um, another one I'm just gonna read. Some of these are on the same line, but I like to read it. Ellie, God bless you, Ellie. She says, Don't talk to me during the game. My stomach is twisted into knots, and I can't breathe. So that's it's I'm telling you, a lot of these goalie parents uh are feeling this. And then Barb immediately commented, I came to say this as well. So that's good to know. Here's one. Audi brings this one up. The mini bench in the locker room is for the goalie. Correct. All right. Uh, kids, when you go in the locker room, skaters, and you see that that kind of separated bench that's a little bigger. That's not for you. You should want to give that for your goalie. And all of you should be telling anyone who sits there, no, that's the goalies area. Okay, they've got a lot more gear. Don't get in the way. Mike, I don't know if there's much more to say on that one, but uh, but that's a good point, right? Let them have the big bench. Crazy. Give them room, give them room. All right, Jamie says this. This is a good one. This is more of a perspective one. Goals against average and save percentage. Everybody ready for this? Are the reflection of the five players on the ice? 20 weak shots on goal are counted the same as 20 breakaways andor backdoors. That's a really good point, right? Save percentage and goals against average should be a shared stat. And I remember hearing any great goaltender from the past when they had like an unbelievable uh save, or they won the Jennings trophy, they say, Hey, it's not just me, it's my D up front, right? Like, like I always hear that.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

Yeah, and vice versa. I mean, you know, like it was funny. I watched, you know, my my my one son does a lot of NHL 26 or or he retro games and stuff. He's like, I'm not picking Grant Fuhrer, he's got like a like he's got, you know, whatever, you know, a save save percentage is terrible. I said, Yeah, but he won four Stanley Cups. Yeah, I said, you know, so so but because he he made the saves when he had to make the saves, like he made the saves at the right time, and you don't know the circumstances around those games. So I think it it really comes down to you know, yes, save percentage and and uh shots on goal and things like that, you know, that that's all those are all great stats, but they don't tell the full picture. No, they need to be very careful about how you evaluate a goalie off of a stat sheet.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

Yeah, I think what tells the full picture, um, and this is one of the rare times while I'll say this, is the win-loss column. And depending on the age that you're at, that has more severity, right? If you're 10U, I would not be paying attention to that at all because your kids are really, really developing. Uh, if you're 18, triple A junior, uh, you know, great teams win, period. All right. I I'd be remiss if I didn't bring this up. Martin Garbador is an amazing goaltender, he's the best goalie of all time statistically. He also had one of the greatest defensive teams in front of him of all time, and he will tell you that. All right. So just something to remember there. Right.

SPEAKER_00 46:46

And plus, listen, I've recruited lots of goalies that were on horrendous teams and had horrible save percentages, right? But they faced 50 shots a game. Right. And they and they and they and just like you said earlier with your son, like, okay, yeah, he got a hundred shots on net and he gave up goals. So like one day, you know, you know, you know, so it's like, so to me, look for those. That's that's and again, that's where like when the kids get a little older, that's where real coaching and scouting comes in. Right. Like, and that's why I was saying, like, for the goaltending position, it's a cooler position to scout because it's really it doesn't it doesn't have a lot of relevance about the team in front of you if you're watching for structure and for athleticism and for demeanor and for all the things you need in a goaltender that if you put like you're saying about Martin Burdur, when you put structure around that player, how much better can they actually be now? Right. Because now they're not diving across the net trying to make a save.

SPEAKER_02 47:43

Yeah, and I'll say this too: like in the NHL, I'm actually gonna give this example. Um and I, you know, keep in mind the NHL is not youth hockey. Uh, almost all goalies in the NHL, I'm not gonna say almost every goal in the NHL is an amazing goalie. They're all great goaltenders, right? A lot of it comes down to the team in front of them. Sometimes when I look at the Stanley Cup champion and the guy who's in net who had a great playoffs, you're not gonna win the Stanley Cup without having a great goaltender. But when you look at where they were in the middle of the season, uh, you know, they're not number one in the league, right? They're they're proficient with the team that they have in front of them. Now, again, I'm not saying the best goalie doesn't go win the Stanley Cup. That can happen too, but just something to think about. All right. This next one I'm gonna read. I'm gonna read this one mainly because this got a ton of like likes and hearts on it. Um, this is from Angela. Uh, goalies are told to forget each goal and focus on the next shot, but when they realize that that puck's in the net, the emotions they have are deep. They don't get a shift to sit on the bench and regroup. Mike, you just said that. The emotional control they have is immense, and sometimes it's asking a lot for a child. When you blame the goalie or make a snide remark, you are only making it tougher to let the goalie go and reset for the next shot. At that point, the team needs to be focused on the face-off and the next shift to a lot of comments. I love this, it's so true. Um, they spend as much on mental health as they have to. Um, again, we're we're kind of been talking about this, but it's true. You know, I I with my kid, I think I've talked about this on the show once. You know, we have this kind of 10-second practice, which is when a goal goes in the net, three seconds to feel what you want to feel and acknowledge it, three seconds to review what just happened, three second seconds to get yourself mentally ready. And on second 10, the face-off's happening. That's how long they have. Um, I think that's a practice all players should have. All right. When the goal goes in, like, think about this from a goaltender's point of view. Let's just say, let's just say it's a great goal. Kid comes down, Deks, does a great shot, goes in the net. Well, if the five skaters on the ice in front of the goaltender all drop their head and all put their heads up to the sky and slam their stick, you know, the goalie's got to see that and deal with that. I mean, they're not feeling great about it either. Like, you all have to reset. I just said to my youth team the other day, again, the higher-end players do a better job at this just because they're older. Uh, but I I'll say adversely, the younger kids learn this faster. That we were in the opposite situation yesterday where my team was doing really well. And I said, Hey guys, I'm glad you're having a good time. Young kids, 10 you, let's let's calm down a little bit. Because the amount of times I've seen a team go up three goals and get super excited, and the other team comes back and ties it because we're not mentally where we need to be. You got to teach these kids that now I don't yell at them, I just want to make sure everybody understands. I'm not saying, hey, calm down on the bench, don't be doing it. There's nothing like that. I go, hey guys, I'm so excited that you're excited. Let's let's make sure that we're focused, let's bring it back down. This other team can come back. They weren't the game's not over yet. We'll have time to celebrate at the end. That's all you got to say. All right. Uh, I've seen that a hundred times. Goalies, man, you can be up four or nothing. Shots are still coming. The shots are still coming. And I'll tell you what, if that goalie decides they don't want to play the rest of that game, it's gonna be a long game. So uh emotional beings for sure. Mike, any thoughts on that one?

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Yeah, I mean, it's all about momentum. I mean, emotion and momentum are killers for for you know goaltenders and players. You know, all of a sudden, you know, you get up by three goals and then you're all happy and the other team's pissed off, and everybody wants to like, okay, now I'm gonna get them, and then all of a sudden they elevate their game and the game changes very, very quickly. That's what's that's what's so cool about hockey. I mean, to manage that piece and all of a sudden they score a goal, now it's three-one, and then you're like, oh, three-one, no big deal. Three, two. Oh shit oh crap. Now we got to go score another goal. Well, it's not so it's not so easy just to go score another goal. So I think it's just, you know, for a goaltender, it's just it's compounded. It's it's control your emotions and understand, you know, I think that's what's so great about and and why, and probably why so many great coaches were goaltenders, um, you know, and coming out of the game because they're they're able to manage those emotions. I mean, you know, maybe not Patrick Roy so much, but I think other, but other, you know, there's a lot of emotion, it's an emotional game. And for you to be able to take that and use it to your advantage and use it in a positive way for good, um, is is a learnt behavior for most kids. And um, but you're right. It's it's uh I like the 10-second rule. I like the I like the idea of coaches knowing their players, I can say, hey, maybe this is a good time for a timeout, or maybe this is a good time for a stall, maybe this is a good time for a, you know, all of a sudden a water bottle fall off the bench and and and roll around the ice for a little bit by mistake and wait for that, you know, give the goaltender time. It's all a matter of just managing your kids, and depending on what age it is, uh, there's different ways to do that.

SPEAKER_02 52:16

Yeah, I'm gonna keep moving here. Again, we got about five, 10 minutes left. Um, I'll I'm gonna read a flurry of these here because they're kind of all similar, right? Uh, I'll start with Dustin because he put some time into this one. He says, When a skater makes a mistake, nobody really notices. I I argue that a little bit, but I know where he's going here. Whether it's a bad pass, a bad angle, or a bonehead penalty, when a goalie makes a mistake, it shows up on the scoreboard. All right, and that is a good point. I'm I'm gonna jump in here, right? Remember, can you imagine every time your kid made a mistake if there was a whistle and they put it up on the scoreboard? Because that's what happens with goaltenders, and then this is what he writes that I'm gonna talk about. I hate hearing they should have made that save, and I bite my tongue, but I'd love to say, Well, your kid should have shown a little hustle on the back check. Um, we all have these thoughts. I always tell people your first thoughts, not the one to say out loud, right? We're all we're all in flight or fight mode, so so I'm saying, like, you could have your thoughts, but you know, you know, here's the thing too. I've heard parents say some really crazy things, not realizing they're standing next to the goalie parent, right? And this goes both ways. I mean, I know when I'm in the stands and the opposing team parents say something about my kid, they don't know, and they don't know I'm a goalie dad, right? And it's like, you know, usually I'm like, well, you don't know what you're talking about, but like these are things that are going on and said, all right. Um, but a lot, a lot of the comments here are also about that, you know, is just that the goaltender it shows up on the scoreboard, it's not noticed with other kids. I I would argue that it is sometimes noticed when kids make mistakes. We we just let it pass by so much quicker because there's not this exclamation point on the scoreboard. Another one from Elizabeth, the kids make mistakes too, but a buzzer doesn't sound every time they make one to indicate it happened. Uh what was that famous? Was it Jacques Plant that said, How would you feel if every time a goal went in, a siren went off and 20,000 people were screaming at you? Um, you know, it's it's all fair.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

Yeah, I I think uh, you know, I I got into the habit of, you know, I never I don't think I I I really was very conscious, you know, when my son would give up a goal that I I said, you know, he should have had that. It was more like, oh, he would love to have that back. Like I think I think he would have, I think, I think he would have I think he'll evaluate that goal and be like, okay, this I could have done something here differently. But I I but I agree. I listen, you know, I I probably look at things differently because I coach and I evaluate talent and I and I'm always looking for like what sets players apart. And uh, you know, a winger coming down the boards and and ripping a puck high and missing the net and it wraps around and goes out of the zone, the puck goes down and scores. Like, I you rarely blame the goaltender. I'm like, right, what the hell was that? Like, that's all you. And then some people, some some play players are like, I had nothing, you know, I was in the offensive zone. I said, Yeah, but you created this, this, this, you know, recipe uh for for disaster by doing what you did. So I agree with the blunt parent, you know, that you're not, you know, you're not highlighted so much uh for the mistake because ultimately the mistake doesn't hurt you until it goes in the net. Right. And you know, again, that's where goalies can mitigate, make the goalies can make a lot of really bad offensive teams look good. And I think uh and I think there's uh it all depends. Like most parents are just watching their own kid anyway. So unless you're the goalie parent, or unless you're that right winger parent, you're only looking at the right winger, you're only noticing that player. It's it's hard to evaluate the rest of the group.

SPEAKER_02 55:36

It's so true. You know, here's another one from April. Mike, I'm scrolling through these comments and they keep reloading, like there's more loading. I can't get through them all. Um, but April says this, and there's a lot of people that that write this. It's managing rebounds is a shared responsibility. I also saw a lot the goaltender is responsible for the first save. Um, by and large, I actually agree with this, right? I always tell my goalie, you know, hey, just make the first save. That that is your job. Now, bad rebounds happen. Um, just because you made the first save, young goaltender, does not mean you're done. Like, I want you to get up and try and make the second and the third save, too. But it is a shared responsibility. One of the things that pet peeve of mine, uh, again, you see this at the younger ages, you don't see it at the older ages, is there's a shot, and you'll see your defenseman just watching the rebound or watching the other team get the puck and take another shot. You got to teach your young players in front. Like, you need to help the goalie in this position, do not watch the goaltender. Um, I think that's that's again, this is one of those like obvious ones, but you got to tell your kids, like, hey, if there's a rebound, you got to clear that rebound, right? You gotta help your goalie. Goalies make bad rebounds, it happens. You have to help them there if you're in a position to help them, right? Uh, they're making split-second decisions, Mike. You agree, I'm sure you agree with that one, right?

SPEAKER_00 56:48

It yeah, of course. I mean, yeah, listen, this is again, this is hot, this is just uh you know, hockey goaltending 101. I uh you know, just you know, you I you would love the goalie to be conscious of making the first save and then competing. So make the first save, compete for the second save. If you're fortunate enough to make the third and fourth and fifth save, that's a conversation we can have with the rest of the team. But the bottom line is there's way, way, way too many, you know, people critiquing a goalie after the first save that gives up a rebound and it goes in the net. Uh, because once that shot is taken, it's everybody's now responsibility to manage where that puck went, including the goaltender. Um, but not a lot of goaltenders, it's it's it's a very, very high-level person that can direct the puck to an area from a shot.

SPEAKER_02 57:37

It's hard.

SPEAKER_00 57:38

It's it's it's that's a it's really high-level skill.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

Look, I I this is a bad memory for Rangers fans. I'm just using it as an example. But I remember Henrik Lundquist, one of the greatest goalies I've ever seen in the Stanley Cup final, unfortunately giving up a rebound right to the uh Martinez who scored the game-winning goal of the Stanley Cup, right? It's like and it's like he's one of the best goalies ever. I don't know what else he really could have done on that save. He probably has been reliving that forever, right? It happens, right? And there was no defenseman there to stop it in that situation. So, all right, I'm gonna do this real quick. Uh, all the ones I've read so far have been on Facebook. Uh, if you're listening, this go our kids play hockey on Facebook. You can jump in this conversation. We also add in a lot of conversation starting posts that that help us create some of these episodes. The whole point of the show is to create these conversations. Uh, you didn't disappoint with this, but I'm gonna move over to uh threads now because we got just as many comments on threads as we did on Facebook, right? So uh for those you know, threads is like Instagram's version of of uh X or Twitter, okay? Um, but I want to read this one from Jennifer because I think it's a really good one. Um, and it also kind of talks about what we talk about on the show, Mike. It says this as the mom of two goalies, Jennifer, God bless you, uh, for many years, one is 21 and the other one is 17. So she's been through this now. I do not want to discuss the game after. Either I feel horrible for my child because they didn't play great, and or the team in front of them didn't play great, or my child played great, but it isn't like I did anything except drive them, feed them, pay for everything, etc. The point is, either way, I just want to move on at least with the other parents. I think it's a fair point, right? Like the the goal parents are living this just as much. Look, look, I've been in situations, just think of this out loud now, making me think here, Jennifer, that maybe my kid did have a bad game, right? Uh, I I would consider myself emotionally, mentally to be pretty strong, but you know, I know my kid had a bad game, you know. But it's you walk him through, you can't help but wonder sometimes. I wonder if the other parents are thinking that way too. And I gotta tell myself, I it doesn't really matter what they think in the situation. But yeah, I mean, we always say the car ride's not for coaching. The goalie was there, the goalie parent was there, they watched it, they know what happened. Okay. I you know, if you if you want to tell me my son made a great save, I I I love that. I that feels great. Don't get me wrong, but like uh I don't need to hear that man, they shouldn't have made that save. They know.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:01

Yeah, I mean it is listen, it doesn't this this is a hard position. It's a hard play, it's a hard position to talk about with people because it gets so sensitive, and and you know, and again, you don't get all the credit for the wins and and you get all the and you and you get a lot of the the the the you know the negative piece of the loss, but it's just listen, you're getting you're in you're in it. So you gotta learn it now like this this woman's doing is to manage that situation for for your own good. Like what do you need? And and for her, it's I did nothing. I drove them and I picked them up and I fed them and I paid for the hockey. That's it. Whatever they're doing, it has no reflection on you as a parent. Um, you know, as far as if they're able to play or not. Now, again, again, and you can a lot of that's just you know, and again, I think, you know, it's funny. I know this is not the show, but this is where, you know, when we talk about players that go from team to team to team to team. Nobody really gets to know that player. No, nobody doesn't get to know that parent. Like you don't know, like you know, like in college, you you grow up with like you you're what you know your teammates and the families know each other so well that they know by the time that kid's a starter is a sophomore or junior or senior, they know the person. Like they know the personality, they know the highs and the lows, and they know how to manage it. When you just meet a goalie for the first time again every six months, it's like, well, by the time I get to even know who this person is, like I I I can't I can't help them because now they're gone. So it's like it's just a it's a it's a double-edged sword, but I think um, you know, you're you're the the the I guess the um the default should be don't say anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:42

Don't say anything, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:43

Then and then just let the game be over.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:45

Well, and I'll look I'm I'll end it on this one from Bill. This is a PSA for all parents. Uh he says, we can hear you and the rotten things you're saying about our children on the live bar microphone. All right. That's a good listen, you never know where those microphones are in the arena, and we can hear you. I I was just telling someone the other day. Now, I I I never say judgy things to my knowledge when I'm in the stands. I usually won't talk, but I I was having a conversation with somebody about not even hockey related, and a friend texted me, was watching the game, said, Hey, I can hear you. Like, not in a bad way, it's like I can hear you on it, I know your voice. And I was like, huh. I started thinking about that. I'm like, what else could you hear on here? Uh, but I love that we we can hear the wrong things you say about our children on the live barn microphone. You remember everything is being recorded nowadays, my friend. So just be careful of that. Um, Mike, this has been a great episode. I really want to give a big thanks to all of you listening and all of you that commented here. Uh, I'm gonna say this again. We put these kind of questions out on our Facebook page, on all of our social pages, uh, because we want to hear from you. I think, Mike, the thing that I'm most happy, impressed by is how respectful this conversation is, right? Like, I've been around the internet a little bit. Some of these conversations get so nasty and it's just a finger pointing contest. Like, it's respectful, it's insightful, and it's the conversation. This is exactly why we made our kids play hockey or our kids play goalie in this situation. It's so these conversations can live. So if you've wanted to find a community that can have a respectful conversation about the game, you found it. Congratulations. We love having you here. We made this show for you. Uh, but check out our Facebook page, check out our our our Instagram, our everything, all right, because we put these up there from time to time. Um, and it it's we'd rather talk like this about what you're feeling than what we're feeling. Um, I'm gonna say it one more time. Check out our website, our kidsplayhockey.com. In addition to that deals page and the store that I talked about earlier, you can search any topic you want on that page. If we've done a podcast about it, it will pop up. Okay, and you can listen to it or watch it depending on how you experience the show. Most important, last thing I'm gonna say if if you search something and it doesn't pop up, email us at team at our kidsplayhockey.com because it's clearly a topic we need to talk about and we want to tackle. We do this show for you, Mike. Any final words before I close this out? What a great episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:10

When I get feedback from people I meet on the street or in rinks and stuff, I go to that search feature all the time. So, like, we did a show about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:16

Didn't we do a show on that?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:17

When did we do that show? Oh, I love that show about this. When did we do that show? And so I'll go back and listen to it and and and go, Oh, yeah, I remember that uh that that episode and why and why that resonated and you know that little term that this person, this expert in the field that we had on, was able to share with us. I love it. So yeah, use that. I would use that feature a lot. Um, but no, it's it's uh this was awesome. I think you know the the contributions from anybody that takes the time to positively make a comment and and add their their expertise in here really goes a long way because you know, I don't know. This year we probably have you know, it's another you know, seven, eight hundred new goalie parents coming to birth uh you know as we speak. Out of the shell. They've broken out of the egg. Somebody said, somebody said, Oh, does anybody want to wear the pads today? And you might be that one. You might be the parent that says, uh crap, like my son wants to play. So denial, the denial that happens is really so enjoy it and uh you know, use this community uh to be a good leaning post um, you know, for for your journey into goaltending, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:22

I I agree with you, bud. So all right, gang, that's gonna do it for this edition of Our Kids Play Goalie. Remember, check out our kidsplayhockey.com forward slash deals, see what we got going on there. Make sure uh like, follow, make sure you subscribe to our podcast. Do me a favor, goalie parents, if you're listening, or skater parents, share this one with a friend. Get this one out there, let them hear it, let them understand it. This is definitely an episode born from you. But for Mike Benelli, I'm Leah Lyas gang. We'll see you on the next episode of Our Kids Play Goalie or Our Kids Play Hockey or The Ride to the Rink or Our Girls Play Hockey here on the Our Kids Play Hockey Network. You have a great day. Take care. We hope you enjoyed this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey. Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network, or our website, our kidsplayhockey.com. Also, make sure to check out our children's book, When Hockey Stops, at When Hockey Stops.com. It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life. We're very proud of it. But thanks so much for listening to this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey, and we'll see you on the next episode.