WEBVTT
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You know we talk about mental fitness a lot on the show.
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In today's episode we talk about tools that you can utilize to help you on the bench as a parent, and kind of the mission upon all of us to further the conversation, at minimum, on how this affects our kids not just becoming better people, but helping us win hockey games.
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Right.
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That's, at the end of the day, what we all want, but I think we want them to become better people the most.
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We have on Paul McQuade and Jessica Reni with us today, owners of Hone Athletic, to talk about this really fantastic conversation.
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I know it feels like I say that every week, but we're having a lot of fantastic conversations and again, look, we're getting to that time of the year where the gift giving season is coming up.
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I want you to head over to hockeywrapperoundcom, check out their off ice tools and some of the new things that they've done the children's book that they've written by Kristi Cash, hannah Burns and Lee Alliance.
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That's me.
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I'm at hockeywrapperoundcom.
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Use the code okay PH at checkout.
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You'll get a nice little discount there.
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It's a great way to support us and the show.
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And finally, humbly asking you, wherever you listen to the show, please give us that five star review.
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It really, really helps us spread the word, whether it's on Apple podcasts or Spotify.
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It is a really easy way to support the show.
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Giving us those reviews and those written reviews helps us spread the message, in addition to you telling all of your friends about what you do all the time, and we appreciate you.
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With all that said, let's dive into this episode with Paul McQuade and Jessica Renny on mental fitness and action on our kids play hockey.
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Hello hockey friends and families around the world, and welcome to another edition of our kids play hockey.
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I'm Leo Elias, joined as always with Mike Benelli.
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You know we talk a lot on this show about the importance of mental fitness and keeping your mind as healthy as your body, so today we have two guests joining us that are experts in that space in hockey.
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Paul McQuade is a mental performance consultant for Hockey Canada's women's U18 national team, winning two golds, silver and bronze medals with the teams in the double IHF world championship since 2018.
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We're also joined by Jessica Renny, who has a unique perspective of the game, having spent most of her life close to the NHL, witnessing the importance of mental fitness to professional athletes who operate in high performing cultures.
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Paul and Jessica are professional members of the Canadian counseling and psychotherapy association and nationally accredited body in Canada and are founders of Hone athletics, which is a unique digital platform that empowers sports leaders with the technology and expert guidance needed to create healthy, happy, high performing athletes Something we love here on this show.
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We will dive into that much more.
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On the show today, ladies, welcome to our kids play hockey.
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Thank you, nice to be here, it's exciting.
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Yeah, we've been planning this episode for months, so I'm excited it's finally here.
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So thank you both for here.
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Paul, I'm going to start with you real quick because, I said in the open, I know our audience, I know what they like to hear out.
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So let's just start with your experience with Canada's U18 team, your role of mental performance consultant.
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What, what does that mean?
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What are some of the challenges you see?
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And if you can even begin to try and describe the metal, you know, winning a medal, what that is like.
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For you it's indescribable, but I always like to try.
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Yeah, yeah, that's a great question.
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So what does it mean?
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The MPC role that I've played has been phenomenal.
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It's something that I kind of wasn't didn't know that I would be going in that direction and, coming from a therapeutic background, it kind of lends itself a little bit differently to that position, so I was able to kind of do the typical things that a mental performance coach would do, but also go into that.
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I have that therapeutic background.
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So I think personally I think that marries really really well in sport, especially when we're dealing with younger individuals in terms of what it's like to win a medal depends which ones you're talking about, that's fair.
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That's a fair point, yeah.
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So, however, you get as much learning, regardless of what it is, and over the years I've been lucky enough to do it I think it was six years and you, you recognize how you you yourself shift in this role.
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So, while the athletes, they were all U18, so they're kind of in a similar space.
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So, year after year, you have amazing groups of young women dealing with very similar things.
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However, my opportunity to evolve really happened throughout those years, and especially seeing, like after COVID.
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So a lot of things happened after that where these players hadn't played for years, and then so the things that we didn't even think of, like thinking about how come we're seeing so much emotion or what's going on here?
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And it was such a stage that they hadn't been on in years, which was a cool opportunity as well.
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So, being mindful of the stuff they're going on and how they are world and how their environments impact them, I will speak to you about the last gold medal we won.
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That sounds like a happy memory, yeah.
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Well for us.
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For us, it was Right yeah.
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Not for us but for you.
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For the purposes of the show, we'll just say it's happy for everyone right now.
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Thank you, yeah.
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And it was intense, as it always is, and it was very neck and neck and usually you guys pull it out, so we were never relaxed and sitting shoulder to shoulder literally with the other team's people, and it was about we're all kind of excited and cheering and about down to the last minute or two minutes, we just stopped talking, there was nothing, everyone was just sitting there and then, of course, the buzzer went and we were thrilled and excited and jumping together and you're just so pleased for the girls, you're so pleased for their parents, everybody that's there supporting them, the country and the team around the team who's been there since the start.
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So, yeah, it's pretty amazing.
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We always talk about the greatest rivalries in sports and people say Yankees, boston or whatever, and I always say USA, canada, women's hockey.
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Not only does it span now generations and decades, but age groups like this.
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It's an eternal battle and again, I think it's one of those things that unfortunately in the media they don't do the best of really diving into, like showing how much this means.
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And then also the level of preparation.
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You talked about COVID and I remember the women's national team wearing masks in one game and that they had trained to do that.
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We had someone on Ellis that they had trained for that.
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So the level of preparation, dedication and everything that goes into it is at the highest, of the highest levels.
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I'm not talking men or women's sport, I'm just talking in general.
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Right now you bring up a good point about COVID too.
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I'm still uneasy and freaked out generally that as a society and I'm talking North America we just kind of finished it and moved on and never talked about it.
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And it's a little bit weird that we don't talk about it, considering that things like world shutdown for three years and then, especially with our children who we asked to sit in front of a TV or a computer for three years, and then we wonder why they have problems communicating now.
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So kudos to both of you, obviously, for bringing that up.
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You know, jessica, I want to get your thoughts on that too.
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And then I have a question for you.
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I was just thinking to myself have we moved on?
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Have we.
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Right Like how do we?
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That's a great question.
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How do we know when I think about kind of bringing it back to mental health and Paul and I have always talked about COVID being the echo pandemic, or mental health being the echo pandemic of the physical pandemic, and certainly we can talk more about that but if we look at kind of the mental health of our young people and those who are needing support and I read a stat the other day actually that said you know, we have, let's say, 300,000 mental health providers I think it was in the US actually and we have 1.2 kids registered in sport, so there's a massive need for our kids to be getting the support they need.
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And how can we use sport as that vehicle to provide them with that mental health support that they need.
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And we obviously certainly think that we can do that.
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But just looking at the need versus, you know, our world's capacity to respond to the need in the way that the narrative that we've always kind of adopted, which is individually, we're really wanting people to look at how we can do this differently, to make sure that, you know, a coach or a sporting leader can have the impact on that young person's mental health, rather than waiting for a psychiatrist or psychologist appointment to have that mental health impact.
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Yeah, also, you know, the stigma surrounding mental health is breaking.
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Like I had a question later on, I'm going to bring it up right now.
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Actually is you know, we talked about this like the stigma is absolutely breaking.
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We can see now that more conversations are taking place, I don't think it's lame for people anymore to talk about it and you know, just 10 years ago we didn't talk about it.
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It was weakness, quote, unquote.
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I don't think anybody's seeing it as weakness now, unless you have kind of an old school mentality.
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But the thing that surprises me is that mental health, mental fitness, is the number one concern of youth athletes and parents and their parents across the board.
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Now, I'd actually like to do research on what that was 20 years ago.
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I wonder if it was like ice time or something like that.
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Right, but now, as of today, for everybody listening, the number one concern of young athletes and their parents is mental health.
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I think we've turned a corner, like I said, but I don't think we've gone far enough, because I think, like most things, we're acknowledging it now but nobody knows what to do, and when you say things like a therapist or therapy, that's where the stigma kind of sticks its ugly head back up again.
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Oh, you're in therapy.
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I proudly say my family, see someone.
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Yeah, it's not a weakness to me.
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I want to see someone.
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We want to do, we want to be the strongest family possible and it's, it's just like it's all the time.
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It's just like going to the gym.
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You wouldn't say I'm going to the gym to get stronger and somebody goes oh, you're doing that, oh my.
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So again the questions for both of you here what are some action items?
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What do you see really as experts in the space?
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What are the next steps that we need to take to continue to break down those barriers?
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And what, maybe, what are some action items for the parents listening and the coaches listening that we can do to further, you know, advocate for stronger mental fitness within the locker room.
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So I think, and what is right?
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Yeah, yeah, I think this conversation right, I think, at the end of the day, having conversations about sport-specific mental health gives our athletes and our leaders permission to talk about it, because it exists.
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You know, all four of us sitting here on this call, we all have mental health.
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It doesn't just come in when we have an issue, it's like physical health.
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We have it all day, every day.
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So I think in so many ways and Paul and I see this so often in our work, and Lee you said it that you know the awareness is there, but it's the now.
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What?
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Right.
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It's the like.
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Okay, so what do we do and how do we create a space where coaches and leaders and parents feel like they actually have agency and can do something here?
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So for me, it is really about bringing that conversation into the dressing room, into the rink.
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You know, not just having it on the ride home but actually physically marrying the athlete and the leaders with mental health and specifically kind of sport-specific mental health Right.
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So I think that's an awesome place to start.
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They read yeah.
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I love.
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How, oh sorry.
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No, no, go up Paul.
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Well, I love how you said, Lee, that you proudly say that your family participates in therapy or whatever modality you do.
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And we call it family team building, but it's.
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We go to a therapist together, right yeah, and I love hearing that and I think that's like we talk about modeling so much with coaches and the people around our young athletes model that share that and when you start talking about openly, then that stigma reduces, right.
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Yeah, that's fantastic.
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Thank you.
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I think this is where you know, I know where we are in USA hockey from like a coaching education standpoint.
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I know hockey Canada does this as well in certain aspects and they're probably getting better and better at it.
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Is, you know, introducing these concepts nutrition, mental health, you know, and things outside of the role of a volunteer mom or dad hockey coach, right?
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Because, it's so intimidating to just to coach anyway and then to throw in the fact that you're supposed to be a mental health expert and you're supposed to be a nutritionist and you're supposed to, you know, be a top line scheduler.
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I mean it's all those things that I think you know, that I think that's why you know reaching out to, to folks like you and services that are offered is a support structure for the coaches, because we're not experts.
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I mean it's really different.
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You know you can, you can listen to a couple of podcasts and read a couple of books and see a couple of pamphlets, but you still need to, you know, engage with the professionals in this space.
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And I don't know.
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And to your all your points, I mean it is being more and more acceptable, but until the governing bodies make it a part of the actual education of coaches and not just how do you do a breakout and how do you teach power skating?
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And then it becomes really hard because you know, coaches have a lot.
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I'm not talking about pro coaches, I'm talking about the volunteer youth hockey coach, just like, okay, listen, I have a hard enough time getting to the rink and now you want me to identify whether I'm talking to a child, properly or not, and building up self esteem or beating them up or you know it's a lot to ask.
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But I do think if we educate people and let them know that there are services out there, that's the obligation of the organization and, frankly, the coach to utilize that and then explore how does that help my team the most, where it's not affecting, and has helped me the most.
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Right, because if you don't have healthy athletes mentally, how the heck you coach them anyway?
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Yeah, right, yeah.
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And you said you know we get nutritionists, we get all of those things, and I think, as coaches and individuals, we would never jump.
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I would never jump into that world with my athletes or whatever, and say, okay, well, I can, I can teach you what to eat to or how your nutrition needs to look.
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I would never venture into that.
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And so when you come to mental health we're not asking coaches to do that either you don't need to dive into that world and give all the answers.
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You just need to be kind, you just need to hear, you just need to notice, and then there's next steps, right?
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So there, that's one thing that that's always very important to us is we never ask coaches to step into those realms that they're uncomfortable with or that are beyond their knowledge, but simply being there and showing them that, oh, I care about this and I care about you.
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Yeah, you know what?
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One of the things about kids that I think we forget as we get older is how much as kids, we just wanted to be heard.
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Right, just just.
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I just want someone to listen to me, and I think when we get to adulthood and look, there's a lot of things that happen, but we don't afford a lot of children the.
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Let me just listen to you.
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I don't have to fix it for you, I just want to want to listen to you.
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This is obviously the perfect segue to talk about what you two have created.
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But, as Mike alluded to right, I think that there's pressure on especially volunteer coaches of I don't know how to do that, right, I know it's important, but I don't know how to do that, and you two have created something pretty amazing.
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You know, I again I'm jumping all over my questions here, which I love.
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It means we're having a good episode.
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Again, you founded hone athletics.
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We spoke about it in the open.
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It's a brilliant piece of technology and I'll let you, you know, go on further if I get this incorrect, but basically it surveys the athletes anonymously with questions dealing with the mental side of performance and then it repost them to the coaching staff in a way that they can just consume the information of how.
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I was, my team kind of, where they at.
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We talked about the importance of meeting athletes where they're at, and you've kind of created a tool to do that.
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So I think we should dive into where that came from and then also please dive into how it works.
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Yeah, I'll kind of talk about a little bit around where it came from.
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So Paul and I spent a lot of time working with teams around mental health.
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We certainly saw a nation and need to address sport, specific mental health with teams.
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So we sent a ton of time, kind of I think it was we always call that our and deface five years of really digging in and working with teams and then in working with individuals privately as well, and what we saw was that, you know, our teams were wanting to learn more and wanting to have these conversations, and so we would do those sessions, we would ask the coaches to leave the room so that our athletes could answer honestly, and then, without a doubt, two hours later, when we got home, we get a call from the coaches and coaches would say, okay, what happened?
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What can I do, right, right.
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So in our heads we're like, huh, okay, we got a shift here.
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We got a shift because this is about co, creating an experience.
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Right, this is about having everybody a part of the conversation.
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So we said, go, just come back into the room and had these, these wonderful conversations and and looked at how we could really start to access and impact more athletes and scale, scale our services to a place where, you know, they didn't have to be in Calgary, alberta, in order to access us.
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So that really is a foundation for home.
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We're very well versed in kind of the sport specific research when it comes to mental health.
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So we took a lot of time making sure that we were creating something from sport for sport.
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A lot of the time, when it comes to mental health initiatives, we create them with non athletes and then we kind of plop them on athletes and say, hey, let's make this work and it doesn't, because there's so many cultural nuances there's there's so many very specific things that we need to be paying attention to when it comes to athletes.
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So we're we really created something specifically for athletes and specifically for that culture, and I don't know if I don't want to talk a little bit more about kind of how it works.
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It's very simple, it's very easy.
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I want all the coaches to see it.
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It is Jessica.
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I want to.
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I want to.
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I'll do it for you.
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Like everybody listening, I took a look at this.
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I don't think it could be any simpler.
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Yeah it's actually so simple, to the point, I could see someone saying, well, it's too simple, yeah, but, but that's at the end of the day, that's what you want, right?
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I like it.
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Yeah, I think it.
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What's important to is understand that.
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You know, look what, when I work with teams and everybody listening has heard this but I always start with trust, right, you have to build that trust because you're not going to get honest results or answers from anybody if the trust isn't there.
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But the second thing I talked to about coaches is is do you know how to motivate your athletes Right?
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And I get know a lot, like I was motivated the way I was motivated, and I said that it's a huge mistake to assume that anyone's motivated the way you're motivated.
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So you know, I could see a coach play a little bit of devil's advocate, mike, and you can too, like I like to bring up the funny objections and support you, but I could see somebody.
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Well, how is knowing how my team feels going to help me with practice?
00:19:41.036 --> 00:19:47.712
Because I plan this practice and if they come back and say I'm just not feeling great today, you know how am I going to do my practice?
00:19:47.712 --> 00:19:48.434
And it's it's.
00:19:48.434 --> 00:19:49.656
It's a few things.
00:19:49.656 --> 00:20:00.340
Number one it's not about you, it's not about you, it's about them, right, and if they're not mentally in a place to receive the information, I don't care how good your practices.
00:20:00.340 --> 00:20:01.482
It's not, it's not going to work.
00:20:01.482 --> 00:20:08.435
Now again, I will make the argument this will, this would work at the pro level to we are talking specifically youth athletes.
00:20:08.435 --> 00:20:11.519
Mike, I can see you, you, you chop it at the bit here, go ahead.
00:20:13.663 --> 00:20:24.269
It's like it's just like doing lesson planning, like maybe like if I'm a coach, scared to use a platform like this, it's probably says more about me than my athletes.
00:20:24.269 --> 00:20:27.865
Like, like, if I cause I don't want to know what their mental health is, cause, then I got to deal with that.
00:20:27.865 --> 00:20:40.247
Like you know, if I, if I have to deal with kids that have anxiety, or kids that don't get like to get yelled at, or kids that need to be coddled, or kids that have other stressors in their life, that doesn't concern me as a volunteer coach, I'm like I don't care what that gets doing at school.
00:20:40.247 --> 00:20:41.684
Like cause that doesn't concern me.
00:20:41.684 --> 00:20:43.928
I don't care if their girlfriend just broke up with them or they.
00:20:43.928 --> 00:20:47.844
You know they they have a fight with their boyfriend or whatever it is Like, and I think that's where it's.
00:20:47.844 --> 00:20:52.740
So that's why I, that's why I got into coaching, because it's teaching, it's, it's mentoring, it's.
00:20:52.740 --> 00:20:55.068
It's not just about winning hockey games.
00:20:55.068 --> 00:20:57.909
Hopefully, hopefully I mean there are, I get there.
00:20:57.909 --> 00:21:13.884
There are a lot of teams that say I don't care what your mental health is, I just need the top 18 athletes and if you're a weak athlete mentally, I'm just going to replace you anyway with a with a kid that that in in in my mind, in what I see on the surface looks like a strong athlete.
00:21:13.884 --> 00:21:26.670
But you guys you guys could speak to this more than anyone like how many athletes look strong, that are, that are, that are, that are really struggling inside, and that doesn't manifest itself until after they're gone from me.
00:21:26.670 --> 00:21:40.672
Right, they're no longer with me, but I but at the end of the day, I have an obligation in that in that time I have them to help them, teach them, mentor them, not just to say, oh, please, just get through the next six months and then move them on.
00:21:40.672 --> 00:21:53.099
And I think that's why, you know, any addition to these type of programs is scary for a lot of adults, because then they're faced with the fact that they have to deal with it.
00:21:53.099 --> 00:22:06.204
It's, it's, it's almost, like you know, um, like my wife taught my wife's a therapist and she'll talk about, you know, her mandated reporting obligations, about when she finds something out like and you're like, well, maybe I don't want to find that out.
00:22:06.204 --> 00:22:15.721
Like you know, I don't want, I don't want to test to get a concussion, because I don't want to deal with the fact that he has a concussion and then I have to then react to that concussion, you know.
00:22:15.721 --> 00:22:16.325
So it's just.
00:22:16.325 --> 00:22:17.351
It's just.
00:22:17.351 --> 00:22:26.359
That's the way I see a lot of this, the mental health discussions is the fear of having to deal with it instead of just kind of burying your head behind it and not deal with it.
00:22:26.359 --> 00:22:31.037
Now, on the other side of this, parents advocate for this.
00:22:31.037 --> 00:22:32.704
Find the coach that wants to use this.
00:22:32.704 --> 00:22:34.133
Find the person that wants to.
00:22:34.133 --> 00:22:52.748
you know, confront this head on, it's going to save you many many years of maybe even actually seeing and needing a therapist at another level, outside of sport and we're talking about sport, right, but there there are human beings, these kids, they're only playing hockey with us, you know, three or four hours a week.
00:22:52.748 --> 00:22:54.023
There's a rest of their life.
00:22:54.023 --> 00:22:54.586
That's going on.
00:22:55.047 --> 00:22:56.030
Yeah, exactly yeah.
00:22:56.863 --> 00:23:03.450
I think about Mike when you said um, you know we don't want to, we don't want to deal and and I think we get this, we understand this.
00:23:03.450 --> 00:23:09.423
Um, but I think about when an athlete's physically injured and I think about that happening on the ice.
00:23:09.423 --> 00:23:12.451
What happens when an athlete's physically injured on the ice?
00:23:12.451 --> 00:23:13.011
What happens?
00:23:13.011 --> 00:23:17.811
We rush in to support that athlete and it.
00:23:17.811 --> 00:23:20.857
Maybe they broke their leg, maybe that it's something.
00:23:20.857 --> 00:23:22.769
We send them to the hospital.
00:23:22.769 --> 00:23:23.049
We don't.
00:23:23.049 --> 00:23:27.660
We don't sit there and think to ourselves oh shit, I'm gonna just swear sorry, I shouldn't Go for it.
00:23:28.643 --> 00:23:31.132
I mean, I'm not, I'm not splinting a kid in the locker Right.
00:23:31.132 --> 00:23:36.166
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not putting splints on saying hey, listen, I think you have a fracture of the tibia.
00:23:36.347 --> 00:23:38.929
Exactly and no part of you think you should.
00:23:38.929 --> 00:23:41.299
Well, no part of you thinks you should.
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:48.005
We know we make the kids kneel we make the kids kneel on the ice as an acknowledgement that someone is injured.
00:23:48.005 --> 00:23:50.250
Yeah, like, think about that, yeah.
00:23:50.700 --> 00:23:52.647
So we don't have to reinvent the wheel here.
00:23:52.647 --> 00:23:54.299
We don't have to reinvent the wheel.
00:23:54.299 --> 00:23:59.792
Sport does a beautiful job of rehabilitating, rehabilitating physically injured athletes.