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Hello hockey friends and families around the world and welcome to another episode in our new series, our Girls Play Hockey.
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I'm Lee Elias and I'm joined by Mike Benelli and our newest addition to the hosting team, sherry Hudspeth from the Vegas Golden Knights.
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Our goal with this show is to tackle the topics and discussions surrounding girls' youth hockey to better the game for everyone.
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So if you're involved in youth hockey in any way, we are going to provide value and insight to create both a better environment and experience for everyone involved.
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For this show, we introduce topics or questions to discuss and each episode will have a featured expert panelist from around the game to engage in that discussion.
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For this episode, our topic is how long should girls play boys hockey?
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Our expert panelist is a former professional hockey player who has been a member of Team USA in the Olympics, world Championships and World Junior Championships, amassing five gold medals and four silver medals.
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Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming Megan Bozek to the show today.
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Megan, thank you for coming on.
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Our Girls Play Hockey.
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Yeah, thanks so much for having me.
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I wouldn't say I'm necessarily an expert, but love sharing my experiences and growing up and where the game has taken me.
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Megan, I would say you're an expert.
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Thank you, thank you.
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The Olympic thing and pro thing.
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That makes you an expert in my mind.
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But no, joking aside, the first thing I want to do is clarify what we mean when we say boys hockey, because obviously we refer to it.
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That is that in the show title, because we know that's how most people are going to search for it.
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But in reality, in the USA the official title is co-ed youth hockey, and then we also have girls hockey.
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Does Canada have the same deal?
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Is it, is it different, or is that how it operates up there as well?
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I would say that's how it operates here in Canada, but they do things differently with birth years and different age groups.
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So I've been learning.
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Growing up in the States, right outside of Chicago, we always went by birth year when I played with the boys growing up and then switching to the girls side.
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It was under 16, under 19, but here they do it with uh and under 11 for the girls, and under 13 and under 15.
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So it's different and I think it poses a little bit of of a challenge when you have the cross border entering tournaments because some teams are going to be older, some teams are going to be younger and that takes advantage, I would say, as their youth, but it's.
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It's just so fun to see kind of where hockey has has taken it and I would say I can say hockey here in Canada but in the states, depending on who you're talking to, you have to say ice hockey, because some people think you're talking about field hockey and now there's roller hockey and ball hockey, which is absolutely incredible.
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But I would say it's about the same, just a little bit different with the age groups here.
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Megan, can you tell us a bit about your youth hockey experience?
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Where you grew up?
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Did you play girls hockey?
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Did you play boys hockey?
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Can you tell us a bit about your youth hockey experience and where that took place?
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Of course.
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I grew up in a town called Buffalo Grove, which is about 40 minutes northwest of Chicago, and started skating at the age of two and a half.
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I have two older brothers.
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They were always at the rink.
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My parents were done trying to babysit me at the rink so they threw me on the ice and I ended up loving it.
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So I started at a young age.
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But the first team I was on I was actually a goalie.
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No one volunteered so I shot my hand right up in the locker room.
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I said I volunteer to be the goalie.
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I don't think I stopped any pucks that year.
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I was too busy waving at mom and dad in the stands to pay attention so they knew goalie wasn't for me.
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But I grew up actually playing with the boys until grade eight was my first year with the girls, and so I actually got a year of checking in with the boys.
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So when the season started I was one of the bigger ones out there and after Christmas I was one of the smallest.
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So it was really good for my development to have that year of check and that physicality.
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But it made it very tough transitioning to the girls' side of the game where I found myself in the penalty box, a lot more than I would have liked, but it was just a different game.
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And now, if you look at the professional women's league, you would have really no idea, except for the blatant open ice hits.
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Um, but it wasn't like that when I, when I switched from the boys, from the boys, to the girls side.
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So eighth, grade.
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No, no, it's cool.
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Eighth grade, like 14 years old.
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I'm just trying to put a.
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Put a number to it yeah, I would say somewhere around there, yeah, yeah like 13 or 14.
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So I played three years of triple-a boys for team Illinois, yeah, and then moved to three years of team Illinois girls side and then moved to the Chicago mission for my last two years before I went on to play at the University of Minnesota understood go ahead my bad, megan.
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So here I coach the Vegas Junior Golden Knights 10U team girls team.
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But our girls in our organization right now at this age are playing in a house league which is predominantly boys, so they are dual roster.
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They're playing on a boys roster and then on our girls 10U roster.
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I'm getting asked by parents.
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Some girls within our organization you know, know they're 13 and 14, a little bit older, within junior nights and they're playing boys.
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So what I kind of want to dive into in this episode is when are you typically seeing girls like that they should switch completely into girls only hockey and sort of?
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I would like to discuss some of the factors that that go into that transition.
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You know you just mentioned checking, talk about the locker room situation having to change by yourself like that, those sort of um factors that that go into like when you typically see people switching into girls hockey.
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Yeah, I mean right off the bat, you said it.
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Um, like changing by yourself.
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When I was younger I was able to be in the locker room and obviously, getting older, I got dressed in bathroom stalls, in hall closets.
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I had to go into the car at some arenas that didn't have extra space.
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If there's a place that I could change by myself, I've been there, I've done that and it was just part of it.
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I didn't think anything of it.
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I wasn't being singled out.
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It's just the nature of how it was.
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And if I wanted to play with the out, it's just the nature of how it was.
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And if I wanted to play with the boys, that's what I had to do and it was completely fine and I just I made it work.
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I wanted to be on the ice, I wanted to be out there.
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Is there a certain age that you have to switch?
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Absolutely not.
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I still see some of the girls playing with the boys in high school.
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Absolutely not.
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I still see some of the girls playing with the boys in high school.
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I see a lot of girls now trying to go with only girls growing up.
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I think the social aspect, the comfort for parents, but if you're with a good group.
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It shouldn't matter if it's boys, if it's girls, if the development is there.
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And, sherry, you do such a good job in Vegas with with development with those girls.
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Yeah, it's quite impressive with what you've been able to do in that market.
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And you see, when I, when I've been helping you out in Vegas, they talk so highly of you, they talk about their girls teams, they talk about the boys that they've been playing with and I think it's a good interaction and a good balance, so to speak, to have.
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Because if you're just on one side of it at a young age and you want to switch to say, go from girls to boys, go from boys to girls, I don't think you'll ever go back.
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So, having the opportunity to play, start playing with your friends if you're a girl and then start playing with boys, if you have some of the friends out there, it does.
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It doesn't matter whatever you're comfortable with.
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But wherever that development is, I feel like the word development has gotten so lost now because it seems like hockey has become a full-time, 24-hour day, 365 days a year kind of job, even at a young age.
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That development is kind of thrown in the backseat and I don't think it should be like that.
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So wherever you can get that development I don't think there's a certain age.
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I would say I learned a lot about my game playing with the boys the physicality, the speed, the toughness of it, the grittiness of it.
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But now, seeing on the other side how far girls hockey has come and how much more opportunity there is, I think everyone has a spot, everyone has a place to play.
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It's just, I think, comfort and where that development will be seen yeah, good point on being seen too with the.
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You know, with girls hockey, the older ones.
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Like if you don't switch into girls hockey and you're not playing in the showcase tournaments and you're not available to play in tournaments where all the college scouts are at, like the stony creek tournament where there's 120 girls.
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You may be playing in a in a smaller market varsity boys team, but Ohio state's not going to be able to see you there, like you have to be on that circuit playing those tournaments with those teams.
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I think to get seen like you can email, but you need to be seen at the at the girls hockey tournaments at some point.
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You know 16, you 19, you and you're really starting to look to get committed yeah, absolutely, and I I just think the body is just different.
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I knew even a year of check in grade seven.
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Um, like I don't think I would have felt comfortable going into grade eight doing another year of checking where those boys were still growing I was now becoming one of the smallest when I started off being one of the biggest and I'm not a small player and I just think the safety aspect of that.
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And then some people have some egos that say, all right, I'm going after the girl, I'm going after the girl.
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I think my parents should honestly write a book of the things that they heard at the rinks all the years.
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Some lady came up like verbally attacking my mom, being like you need to check her birth certificate.
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She's not this age group, she's older.
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And I was like, okay, I'll take that.
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Like looking back, I'm like I'll take that as a compliment, like I just beat your son out there, like it's just, it's, it's crazy, people are, people are, are crazy.
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But I know if I had another year of check I don't think I would have felt comfortable going into the corners having my head down, so to speak, at any point.
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But the showcases are where the girls thrive to be seen for a USA hockey development camp the under-14s, 15s, 16s, 17, 16, 17, 18, colleges and now pro and that that was pretty much the mainstream.
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And now I know that you can send video, you can send emails and all of that, but it's still so popular to be seen where boys have Seventy seven leagues of junior that they can pick from where the girls are just not not quite there.
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So those showcases are very, very important and I would say if you're one of the top players, people will know who you are, regardless of if you'll be at that showcase, if you're playing boys somewhere else.
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But for a lot, that's where.
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That's where their journey really starts, if they want to continue on after grade school and after high school.
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You know, megan, I'll say one thing to what.
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We say this to our audience all the time that you're probably not crazy, but the hockey world is crazy and we always have to remind parents of that.
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It's not that you're a crazy.
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Most of the time we don't think the crazy ones listen to this show.
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Something that you and Sherry are both bringing up that's interesting is the fact that and we knew this going into the episode there's no answer to the question of the title of the episode.
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We can't look at any young lady and say, hey, at 12 years old, that's when you should move over.
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So in a great discussion like this, great questions are going to demand great answers, right, with the entire panel here.
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For a young lady, for the parent of a young lady, what are the questions you should be asking to determine the trajectory that you want to go on?
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For example, you two are talking a lot about being seen and getting to college and getting to a higher level.
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That's one trajectory, right?
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So if a young lady wants to do that, that's a trajectory.
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There's also a trajectory that has to do with just camaraderie and wanting to be part of a team, right, and?
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And there's others.
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So let's dive into that as a group here.
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What are the questions and we'll take it as the young athlete, the young lady right now what are the questions they should be asking when, when considering switching or not switching?
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I think, first off, if they have a spot on the team, not just taking them to, to take them if they have a name, if they've played elsewhere, um, a spot on the team.
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For me, a big thing is development.
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And I get asked now on the other side of um, working in skill development with hockey um, the development has to be there.
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You're not just going to go from zero to hero just like that, um, and you're not going to learn much if you're just working on power play and penalty kill for half of your season at the age of 10.
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Um, you still have to learn the fundamentals of it all, um, but then you also have to learn about where the coach has coached before you.
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You kind of want to know where your child will be spending most of their time, probably more time than you spend with your family.
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You see your hockey community more than you sit at a table.
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For us as a family of five, it happened for probably over 10 years, um, and then that's just the reality of it, um.
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So for me, I think a big one has to be development has to be getting to know the coach on a personal level.
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Um, I was really fortunate to be part of a lot of teams that I'm still very close with my coaches, so I think that just speaks measures to the personality of them on the ice but, more importantly, off the ice, hockey's not going to last forever, so what do you learn from those teams, from all of that?
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So you have to make sure parents, kids alike, that it's the right fit.
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Yeah you know, go ahead, mike, my bad.
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Well, I was just saying.
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I mean, megan, we've been on a couple of panels together and you know I've really been able to watch you up close.
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You know talking to young men and girls just on.
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You know their development and their, their path and the way you know that transition happens from from, you know, co-ed hockey to all girls hockey or all boys hockey.
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And one of the things you brought up a couple of times, you know, in those conversations was the impact of the conversations that you had with your family, mom and dad, and the opportunity to really talk through those transitions.
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So maybe could you just talk a little bit about you know what that conversation could or should sound like when you're making those decisions.
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You know, you know what that conversation could or should sound like when you're making those decisions.
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You know it's easy to say, oh, my daughter's the best, she's the best player on this team right now.
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She has to make.
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You know she's never going to get better if she doesn't play against boys.
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And again, we're talking to whole different regions here.
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Right, I'm in the East Coast, you know, northeast there's a lot of girls teams.
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I mean there's a lot of girls teams.
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I mean there's a lot of opportunity, uh, to you know, transition.
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If you're in Nebraska, maybe there's one team and you have to travel so far to make that transition.
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That then you got to weigh it.
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But talk a little bit about how you know the influence of your family, you know.
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Your personal discussions with mom and dad, you know, led you to say, okay, I've got to make this transition now.
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It's the best thing for me yeah, I think, um, my dad, if I wanted to stick in the fight, I could stick in the fight.
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I could sense that my mom had a little bit of a different feeling, just keeping me safe, um, but, um, I have the most supportive family through and through, and if they ever forced me to do anything, I would ask if this was really my parents, because they have never pushed me to do anything.
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Obviously, I wanted to help me pursue whatever I wanted to pursue, but it was never forced.
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Okay, now you have to switch to girls.
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Okay, now you have to play here.
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Now you have to play here.
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It's what I wanted to do and I controlled that, which I think made it an easier transition for me.
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But it wasn't a hard conversation to have.
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Going from the boys to the girls side of the game.
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I just knew it was time.
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The size difference, the personality differences, I thought it was just time.
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But my mom and dad supported me through that all and made sure I was getting into tryouts for that next season to go into the girls game, because I was clueless, we were all clueless, we didn't know, we didn't know, and it wasn't as popular as it is now.
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But having those hard conversations to say, okay, am I going to get better?
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I loved hockey growing up, but I also played other sports.
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I wasn't just hockey and that was it, but hockey was definitely my one passion.
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But I was concerned.
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I was like, well, will I get better?
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Will I be able to play next year and make a girls team?
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Will I be able to play?
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And my dream wasn't to play on the US team, I wanted to go to college.
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I wanted to play college hockey.
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That's what I was striving for.
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And then obviously, those dreams, those goals, changed as as the years went on.
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But it took a lot of effort as well for my parents to do their research on their end to put me in the best environment.
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So I ended up playing up.
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Instead of playing a U14 for my first year, I ended up playing with the U16s, which I think really helped for my development, and had one of one of the best coaches, tony Catchy, there that I had for five years as as a coach and, um, still like one of our good family friends to this day.
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But you have to have those tough conversations and you have to expect maybe a tough answer back, but know that they are responding with your best interest in mind.
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Who drives you to the rink?
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They do.
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Who pays all the all of your equipment?
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They do.
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Who pays all of your fees?
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They do.
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So you have to realize that they're trying to help you as well.
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And, um, like you said before, I think hockey's it's grown so much that it's really has become a full-time job.
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But, um, you don't want to be that crazy parent that coaches note and now on the development side of it, I, I've seen it all.
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Unfortunately, unfortunately, um, but let your kids be kids, let your kids learn a new skill off the ice that can help them on the ice.
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They don't need to skate all summer.
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They can blow, they can go throw a soccer ball, can go ride their scooters, play baseball, whatever they want to do, but it doesn't need to be hockey, hockey, hockey, because they are going to make the nhl, they are going to make the pwhl, they are going to be the next olympic gold medalist.
00:19:22.445 --> 00:19:24.415
If it happens, it will happen.
00:19:24.415 --> 00:19:32.665
But there's so much that you can learn off the ice, that you can take on the ice and, fortunately enough for me, my parents let me play every sport.
00:19:32.665 --> 00:19:39.624
I did one week of hockey in the summer growing up and I'd like to think I turned out just fine.
00:19:39.624 --> 00:19:43.807
So don't put all your eggs in one basket.
00:19:44.654 --> 00:19:55.064
Yeah, and we just learned from Brian Trache you can shovel stalls at the farm or carry buckets of milk or whatever you have to do right it doesn't always have to be do the farm workout?
00:19:55.463 --> 00:19:56.326
No, but you know so.
00:19:56.326 --> 00:19:57.758
So you're, you know, you're you hit on.
00:19:57.758 --> 00:20:17.882
One of the questions I had, too, was about you know how important coaches are in this transition and maybe you could talk a little bit about you know what are some recommendations or some or some pitfalls or some things you should look out for as a as a parent of a young girl that's looking to make the transition, and what should coaches be looking for when they're coaching co-ed teams?
00:20:17.882 --> 00:20:19.188
I mean, it's so much.
00:20:19.188 --> 00:20:30.760
I mean I found like I got to coach with the Connecticut Whale for a little while, coaching all women on one team, which is a lot different than the college hockey team that I coached that had no women and obviously all men.
00:20:30.760 --> 00:20:41.247
So, but you know I that that co-ed piece from the time you start hockey at five years old until you know 13, 14, 15 years old.
00:20:41.627 --> 00:20:43.317
Maybe a little bit about you know what.
00:20:43.317 --> 00:20:47.526
What could coaches be aware of when they're, when they're coaching teams that have young women?
00:20:47.526 --> 00:20:52.095
You mentioned the locker room piece and all that kind of stuff.
00:20:52.095 --> 00:20:53.599
So what else can what else can you know?
00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:54.844
We have a lot of coaches listening to the show.
00:20:54.844 --> 00:20:57.843
What else can coaches really look for in making that transition.
00:20:59.307 --> 00:21:04.681
I would say younger still, being the only girl when I was learning to skate six, seven, eight years old.
00:21:04.681 --> 00:21:07.587
We're all just the same out there.
00:21:07.587 --> 00:21:08.790
There wasn't any.
00:21:08.790 --> 00:21:11.719
Okay, there's a girl.
00:21:11.719 --> 00:21:12.903
We have to do this differently.
00:21:12.903 --> 00:21:13.785
There's boys here.
00:21:13.785 --> 00:21:14.938
We have to do this differently.
00:21:14.938 --> 00:21:17.746
I touched on the locker room piece already.
00:21:17.746 --> 00:21:20.242
It was just part of it for me, I didn't bat an eye.
00:21:20.242 --> 00:21:20.904
Toy set it is.
00:21:20.904 --> 00:21:21.695
It is what it is.
00:21:21.695 --> 00:21:22.317
That's how.
00:21:22.317 --> 00:21:24.161
If I wanted to play, that's what I had to do.
00:21:24.161 --> 00:21:31.839
If I had to get dressed at home, in the car, in a locker room, in a bathroom wherever we made it work.
00:21:33.095 --> 00:21:45.208
And once I got older, though, with with the boys, I felt like there was a little bit of disconnect with with coaching staff, because they didn't want to treat me differently.
00:21:45.208 --> 00:21:50.877
Because they didn't want to treat me differently.
00:21:50.877 --> 00:21:59.837
But the reality of it is, as these girls get older, their emotions, hormones, everything about a certain age is it's hard, it's hard, it's new territory for a lot of people.
00:21:59.837 --> 00:22:03.742
But it doesn't mean to be that.
00:22:03.742 --> 00:22:20.364
The girls need hand-holding, and that was a big part of me just acting like one of the boys and I was just a teammate to them, and I think the coaches had slowly but quickly figured that out, that they didn't need to treat me any differently.
00:22:20.364 --> 00:22:25.661
Um, I was just a teammate, I was just one of them.
00:22:25.661 --> 00:22:35.549
And then you go to the girl's side and I wasn't ready for the, as I pictured in my mind, like okay, now we're gonna do this.
00:22:35.549 --> 00:22:37.154
Okay, now we're gonna do this.
00:22:37.154 --> 00:22:39.121
Like that's not how I grew up playing.
00:22:39.121 --> 00:22:43.479
I have two older brothers at home too that make sure I'm not like that.