Our Girls Play Hockey: The Truth About Hockey-Life Balance (and Why It Might Not Exist)

Hello hockey friends and families around the world and welcome back to another
edition of our girls play hockey it's Lea Elias with Mike Bonelli and our good
friend our PWHL superstar Hayley Scamurra shouldn't like when I brag about her but I like to brag about her. And today we are talking about hockey life balance you know when we brought this topic up Many of you may be thinking the same thing we are. what balance. What are you talking about? There's no balance with hot It's just hockey life comes after that. There's no balance, but we did want to talk about it specifically in girls youth hockey About that balance of what does it mean to be
playing hockey be a young lady growing up going through school going through
everything else? And I always say this on these episodes just because we're talking
about girls hockey does not mean you should this episode is all I only have sons
that don't care. This is a great learning opportunity, coaches, parents and players
across the board. And we have again, one of the best with us here today to talk
about it. So, Haley, I'm gonna kind of start with you here today. Let's just talk
about your own experience going up. What did a balanced week look like for you
during the season with school, training, recovery, life? I mean,
was there any balance? In my youth days, I do not believe I had balance. I,
when I look back on my schedule, like it is mind boggling to me how I just did
all of it. It was crazy. So hockey was super busy. School was super busy. You're
at school from like 8 a .m. to 3 p .m. Then you go right to hockey. Then you, you
know, there was just so much travel and it felt like I never really had free time.
Like my mom always said, like "Why would I cook you guys dinner?" Like, you're
literally not home. Like, yeah, I make it, you're like, "Oh, we're off," you know?
So I think, I definitely think I could have maybe had more balance growing up.
I don't know how, if I'm being honest, I think that's just kind of the way the
schedule is, and it's kind of hard to work around that, I feel. - Well,
just on that thought, what would you like to have been more balanced? Like pretend
there was a few more hours in the day, right? Like when you say that, like I
would have liked more balance. What does that mean? What do you think you would
have liked to include? - More down time. I think it would have been nice to like,
just have time that wasn't dedicated to sports or to school. And like I said, it's
kind of hard because school does take up a lot of your time just in general. And
there's nothing you can really do about that. And then hockey, you're excited to go
to hockey and I had fun doing all that. But when I look back, like I don't know
how much time I really had to do anything besides a sport, nor did I really know
what to even express interest in outside of a sport. So I think that was maybe my
biggest, maybe area of opportunity growing up would have been to find something
outside of sports to do that I enjoyed. Because like, I think it was great that I
did do other sports. I did tennis. I did soccer. But again, it's like, like, so
much activity. And so it would have been cool to like, I remember I tried the
viola for maybe two months when I was in like fourth grade, I just didn't have the
time. They're like, you're not practicing. I go, no, I'm not. So like, that was
also maybe my own interest wasn't quite there. But like, maybe to have cultivated
like different interests would have been maybe good for me. for me. - I'm wondering
as you're saying this, right? If you're one of the young ladies listening to the
episode, if the lack of work -life balance led to your success, I mean,
it's a hard argument to say, well, we all want time off. Like we all want the
breaks, we all want to go to school dances and apple picking and do all these
other things that all, you see, I'm sure your friends are You're not going to be
doing that. No, I'm in Pittsburgh next weekend, or I'm in Toronto next weekend.
But there's a lot of people out there are going to say, well, look what she did
with that. So there is-- I think when you're talking about balance, there's the
balance. You drove that balance, don't you think? Like,
as I'm Like it's, it wasn't like a,
like, oh my God, I missed out on so much in life. It was, well, it would be
great to have more time off, but I turned this into this. And you know, that's
just not for everybody. That's very true. I, it is so hard to say.
Cause like I said, I did try other things and I'm like, I'm just not interested,
right? So like maybe, maybe it's like overthinking it, but I feel like as I got
older, I had to like teach myself to take breaks. And I don't know if that came
from that kind of mindset where it's like you always have to go, you always have
to be doing something active. Like it took a while to rewire my brain to be like,
rest is okay. It is okay to just sit and be still and like recover and things
like that. So maybe just like sprinkling those lessons in a little bit when I was
younger would have been good. But like you said, I am where I am today. No doubt
because out because of what I did growing up and what I've continued to do
throughout my years. - Well, I think that's when we falter, right? When you don't
feel somebody's nipping at your heels and you say, "Oh, I could take a little break
here." And all of a sudden somebody flies by and you're like, "Oh, what happened
there?" Like, that's my fault. Like, I allowed that to happen. So I think, you
know, I love to hear in the competitiveness. Like, you want everybody to enjoy the
game and you want everybody to not, like as a coach, you're like, you know, you
want the balance for mental health, but you're like, I don't want you having the
balance for my needs. Like my needs are, you have no balance. I want you to go,
go, go. And I think, but to your point, that's driven by the athlete, like think
about all the girls you grew up playing with that decided to do other things,
like enjoying the chorus and enjoying the plays and did all the, like you're like,
well, they're not playing professional hockey, but they might be professionals in
something else. So their work, their hockey life balance was maybe a different,
you know, insert subject here in life balance, right? - That's true.
Yeah, I think it's definitely interesting. - I mean, you can't do everything. You
can't have everything. - You can't do everything. That's very true. That's very true.
That's why I kind of was more so equating it with like the rest piece rather than
like maybe having to do other things like you don't have to do a musical instrument
if you don't want to do it but like maybe reading maybe like just spending time
with family like outdoors and doing something just separate right I think I
eventually did that when I was in like middle school like my mom I remember we got
like a cottage and in the summer we took a week off of all sports and just we're
at the cottage and just doing cottage life And I still remember that time. It's one
of my favorite times that I can remember like reminiscing growing up, right? Like,
and it was something completely separated from sports. And that was a nice, you
know, separation for me, I think at the time. And yeah, like you said, I remember
missing school dances, I remember, but that was of my own choice, right? Like my
parents did not force me to miss a dance, but there were times where I was like,
"Oh, I really want to go to those dates. And then I had hockey instead,
but I did choose hockey. So I do not regret any of those decisions at all 'cause
they definitely led me to where I am today, for sure. - So this is where I love
to bring this up. And this is always a hard distinction, I think for parents is
that Haley, you wanted this. You wanted this life. You wanted to be on Team USA.
You wanted to be a pro, a collegiate player, you wanted it. You, you wanted it,
okay? I'm sure your parents wanted it too, but at the end of the day, and this is
the truth, and I'm gonna ask you a question about this, is that is the X factor
when it comes to this conversation. We cannot create that drive as parents.
You can cultivate it for sure, but you can't create it. Doesn't matter how much you
want your kid to play pro hockey, if they don't want it, even if they do want it,
there's a very low chance of it happening, okay? But if they don't want it, you
can't force it. So I always say with these hockey life balances, work life balances,
I think it's a crock in terms of the discussion. Like we're bringing it up as a
discussion, but the truth is this, I don't think there is a balance. I think there
is a priority balance. And I think we need to change the conversation. I think I've
talked about this before, of it's not about finding this balance between 15 different
things. That doesn't exist. It doesn't make sense. We don't live our normal lives
that way. Nature doesn't work that way, you know? But you can prioritize. All right,
my family is very important. Hockey is very important. Hopefully school is very
important, right? And then you prioritize and balance based on that. For Haley
Skimora, Hockey had to have a high priority in terms of balance within her day.
And you and your parents found a balance with that. But like, I love that you
brought, yeah, I tried the clarinet, wasn't for me. That's okay, right? You tried
it. I think just the fact you tried it. Reading, relaxing, doing other things. To
me, like the dipping the toe in and seeing what you're gonna like is part of the
balance. But the question I do wanna ask you, Haley, is that knowing that you
wanted to make it, your parents, and it sounds like both of them did a great job
with this on different sides 'cause your father coached, they must have had to find
a, how do I say this? There's a level to push you that's not too far, but it's
also not too soft, right? How did your, let's talk about your dad and your mom,
right? How did they specifically know when to press the buttons? 'Cause I am sure
there's times when you were major, maybe you didn't want to do it that day, right?
And you were told get up and go outside and shoot, right? How do you find that
that worked?
- I think, so my dad was definitely more of like the pushing of the buttons,
still is. I love them, we've worked through it and everything,
but he was definitely really hard on me. But then I had my mom who is super chill
and was like that kind of like safety net for me, right? Like someone I could just
go to, to like to vent and relax and like, not talk hockey and things like that.
So for me, that was my balance was right to balance, literal balance.
And yeah,
I think I would just sometimes not listen to my dad, I think if he was pushing me
when I didn't want to go like, I'm going to be like I just straight up was like,
no, I don't feel like doing that right now. Like, um, but it was hard at times
because then he would, you know, get upset and then I'd have to like kind of
navigate that a little bit. But overall, I feel like I did a good job of pushing
myself. Like, I feel like he never really had to push me that often, honestly.
Like, it was never really him being like, you know, you have to go to practice
today. Like, I never dreaded really going to practice, except of like a little bit
when I was with the boys and I wasn't really comfortable with the boys. Like I
knew I wanted to switch to girls. That was maybe the only time that I can think
of in my hockey career where I was like, I don't want to go to practice kind of
thing.
But I don't remember him ever having to like force me to go. Like I think that
was always intrinsic in me. And the only thing he was tough on was just my my
work ethic and whether I was putting in 100 % of what I had.
And so sometimes he was just a little bit more intense about it than I was. So
maybe I wasn't giving the full effort he thought I could give. - I think I just
talking about a different generation too of parent that you grew up at the tail end
of not really being a lot of social media and a lot of distractions and hours and
hours of video games. And I think today's athlete, we're seeing, I just think we're
seeing less and less of the self -motivated kid, in my opinion, just watching all
these thousands of kids that the pushing is more, and Lee talks about this a lot,
like the pushing is more guiding than it is pushing. Like, yeah, you could video
games for the next six hours, but you're not gonna get better at this or don't
expect to get this if you're not gonna put this in. But I think because of the
world, a lot of these kids are growing up in and they look around, they're friends,
like I'm sure you were around, I think you talked about this too, right? Even the
siblings, like you were around active people. Like you were around people that were
doing things all the time, but if you were around a lot of people that weren't
doing anything, you know, if you're just sat around to play video games, you, you,
you tend to, that's, that's where you go, right? And I think that's where, like,
that's where we all have to be cognizant of the fact that, like, I didn't, my
father never had to motivate me ever because I was so bored. I'm like, I'm going
shooting. I'm going skating. I'm going, I'm going rollerblading. I'm going, I'm going
to get out. I'm going to do, I'm going to go find something. I'm going to go
climb a tree. I'm doing as much as I can because I'm bored out of my mind. Our
kids don't get bored right Like it's very hard to get a kid bored. Well, they get
bored after like three seconds of doing nothing like I know you're Yeah, but they're
doing something, but if they're doing something I'm joking. It's hard to get on
board. I'm totally teasing you Mike. That's yeah I mean, but it's just like there's
not that time where they're like, oh, I I can't wait to go out and shoot because
there's nothing else to do and And that's you know, I think that's a real struggle.
We're all gonna have you know as you know, we work with athletes - Mike, you know
what I've found to be successful, and I guess this is good advice, is building
routines, right? So something, here's why I'm gonna actually pay my son a compliment.
My son's a goalie, but he still skates out every once in a while. After every
practice, and I'm gonna say, he's in net 90 % of the time now, he'll go down in
the basement and just shoot pucks for 30 minutes every time. And he has built that
habit himself. Now, I might have helped kickstart it by when we got home, like he
would ask and we would do it, but he's built that habit for himself. And it's
interesting because I think people could say, "Well, how is him shooting making him
a better goaltender?" And I'd say, "Well, you know nothing about goaltending if
you're asking that question." But the point is he created a habit and he does that.
And him coming home from hockey triggers that habit, right? So I think that's part
of this too, is with your kids, is like, look, it's really hard to get a kid off
a screen to go do something. So don't even put them in a position where it's like,
that's enough of that, go practice. Now you're taking them away from something like,
to do something else that they like, but that's tough for a kid. So I always say
too, and look, everybody's got to parent their kids their own way, but to me,
screen time is a reward for things. You don't just get it. And it's definitely very
rarely, I'm not gonna say never, very rarely a babysitter for For me, if I have
something chaotic going on and I really need them to not be there, I might give
them a screen. But we try and limit it to two hours a day, max. It's not in the
morning and there's things you got to do to get it most days. I think that's how
you combat that and to me that maybe that is a little more traditional apparent
thing. It's like when I was a kid, I didn't get what I wanted unless I did what
they told me to do. There was no TV. So I think Part of the, we'll just say
balance. I'm not gonna say hockey way of balance is helping your kid build those
routines. Like, look, let's do a school one. What are they doing in their homework?
Right, if your kids play youth hockey and there's a 99 .9 % chance if you're
listening to this that they do, okay, what are they doing in their homework? Are
they doing it after practice? Are they doing it before practice? Are they not doing
it? You gotta plan this stuff out, right? It's important, right? And parents,
we have to be on top of it. And boy, has it never been easier to be on top of
assignments than nowadays. I mean, Mike, when you went out to Cattailia YouTube, we
could probably get away with some things when we were younger. Now everything's on,
I have an app that tells me everything it's due, but it's about habits and about
behaviors. And I think if we attack that, we'll do better. - Yeah,
I think, Haley, can you talk a little bit about, you know, just how important it
is, especially like where the women's games going now and it's growing and it's all
of a sudden it's all these high schools and prep schools and travel teams and all
these other, and maybe the travel teams aren't focused on academic pieces so much or
the well -rounded student -athlete, but prep schools are for sure, right? And I think,
you know, and can you just talk about like how important that is to have that
routine growing up so they're prepared when they fall into these categories of, "Oh,
prep school wants me, I'm going to go to my junior year but if you don't have a
really good firm grasp of time management and and and that balance you know you're
really going to struggle at that level now. Absolutely I I remember because high
school was crazy for me I drove my dad drove to Canada three four five times a
week sometimes plus doing high school plus I did soccer for my high school so I
remember I barely had any free time how any of my homework done is beyond me but
it was because of time management like I was very like I was always really
dedicated in school like I love school I loved learning so that was never really um
for me like an issue my parents ever had to like tell me to do my homework like
I did my homework like there was no questions that's true and um yeah thank you
but uh yeah so I think that was massive for me to like learn how to manage that
time and And when I got to college, when I tell you, I was shocked by how much
time I had. It was insane. Like college felt like 10 times easier than high school
because I was like, I only have what, three classes at most a day. And then I
have all this free time to do my homework and then I get to just walk to the
rate. I'm like, this is beautiful. Like, so I think when you really have like a
hard time management, it really helps you later on in life when you do have more
free time later on, I swear. So that was huge for me, massive. - You know,
Haley, it's funny you bring that up. I feel like I had the same experience. I did
okay in high school. I was probably like a B student, but we were doing a lot.
And then I got to college and it was so easy to, I mean, I mean, you're learning
about things you want to learn about. I mean, I don't want to say you're free from
your parents, but you have all this new responsibility that I felt like I wanted to
take on. And then, yeah, I was walking to the rink and it's like, and I'm on the
ice all the time. It was almost spring, but the work that you put in to get to
that point is how you got to that point. And I don't want to understate that
either. Like you played division one college, you played very high level hockey,
right? You paid your dues in lack of a better words. - Yeah, it's funny, if you
can get through, it's the boys' game especially. Like if you play like 18, 19 U
-Hockey, it is horrendous. - Oh, it's tough. - It is just fighting and all the BS
and it's just, but if you can get past it. - Yeah. - All of a sudden you're in
like hockey nirvana. Like it's easier. It's actually easier to play. It's easier to
play. It's to say that you watch these like these girls' games and the women's
game, and they're playing like, you know, like six games in a weekend, tournaments
all over the place. He goes back to back to back. And but once you get past it,
it's easier. It becomes, you know, more freeing. If you can find a way to get to
that, that, that next highest level now, like you're saying,
all of that work and dedication and, and, and time management and figuring out how
you're going to treat your body and your mind, that all kicks in. - Well, and I
have to say this too, and Haley, look, Haley plays at the highest level possible,
college, pro, Olympian, you know, but the idea is also there's nothing wrong with
D3. There's nothing wrong with ACHA schools. There's just nothing wrong with any form
of hockey pass high school. And I think there was a time we downplayed anything
outside on NCAA, and I just don't think that that's true anymore. I think the
opportunity is to play at high level hockey past high school. If you play hockey
past high school at any university level, that's insane. That's amazing,
congratulations, you've done it. You know, I don't think we downplay that anymore.
You know, and then look, adversely, look, we had Chris Tarion, former Philadelphia
Flyer. I always liked to bring this episode up. He didn't play at all when he was
15 years old. He stopped playing hockey for an entire year at 15 due to some
things like burnout, wanted to experience other things. Guess what? Dude still made
it to a full NHL career. Got to play in a Stanley Cup final. Now again, is he an
outlier? A thousand percent, all right? But it just goes to show you, there's no
path. There's no one path that if you do this, you're gonna make it.
And when it comes to balance, everyone's got to figure that out. But I implore
parents again to think of it as priority balance. What do your kids want? I'll say
that to parents. Well, they don't know what they want. Yeah, they do. They have a
bit of a clue. All right. Haley, you said something earlier that I look for in
kids. You like going to practice. You want it to be at practice. You want it to
play. That's a telltale sign that they're doing this right. If you are fighting your
kid to go to practice every single time, that is a red flag. And look,
it may be them, it might be you. I'm not gonna explore that. It could be a lot
of different things, all right? But you shouldn't have to push your kid beyond a
certain point. I like what you said, Haley. I wanna reiterate this, 'cause I thought
this was a really big point. You said, my father always wanted to get the best out
of me of what he knew I could give. That last part of that was everything,
all right? Because I think a lot of people miss that. Well, I need them to work
harder. Well, do you have a bar on how high? Because some people don't, all right?
And when I see kids crying and their dads or moms are screaming at them on the
ice to go harder, and the kid is going hard. Like, that kid's going out. - Yeah,
they're not going out, I don't need to check - Yeah. - That kid's burning out, all
right? So that's part of the balance too. We got about 10 minutes left and I do
wanna turn the conversation here. Again, I say this on these episodes of our girls
play hockey sometimes. We get to have the maybe uncomfortable conversations here that
maybe don't happen too much in the stands or at the ring. Let's just talk about
becoming a young man or becoming a young woman, all right? I'm gonna preface this
like this. We're all going through changes from 12 to 18, okay? It's different for
boys than it is for girls. It's different for everybody as it is for somebody else.
I'm asking you as a male coach, maybe what am I not aware of that girls may be
going through during puberty as hockey players, right? Giving it to the topic. What
should I be aware of? Is there anything that like I'm clueless to as a coach that
I should should know the audience should know you see what I'm going with this
because because the truth is I don't know I'm honestly saying that um I mean
probably the biggest one is obviously like hormonal changes I think girls going
through their periods and things like that I mean I remember for me in high school
I had terrible period cramps they were like debilitating I had to lie on my couch
with a heating pad on And I could not move and I'm, I would like to say I'm a
tough person and I can play through a lot of things. That was one thing that was
hard to play through and a lot of girls can be going through that. And if they
have a male coach, they might not feel super comfortable talking about that with
their male coach. Right. And so, you know, I don't know how you open that line of
communication. I think that's obviously up to the player themselves. And, you know,
but that can definitely be a huge factor and just like emotionally like maybe
they're just having a tough day emotionally because of all the hormone changes and
things like that. I think, you know, we've talked about this a lot like they
haven't done that many studies on female athletes in terms of like their period and
things like that. I think they're just starting to like I've heard rumblings of
things like that happening, but there's so many factors that we're not even aware
of, I think, and so I think that's just something to obviously keep in mind and
not really something you guys can relate to at all. Not at all. Not at all.
There's not much you can do for that, but just hold space for them if they are
having those moments. Yeah, you know, Haley, I'll tell you this. I'm actually glad
you're bringing it up because, believe it or not, because I do a lot of research
on our topics. That was a top 10 topic to talk about in women's hockey, right?
So I'm glad that you brought it up. And again, you're 100 % right. I've never
experienced that. Not going to act like I get it in any way. I am always curious
about how can I as a coach position myself best for my athletes. But I think that
you're right of like, that's based on the trust that athlete has with their coach.
I would never expect the female athlete to come up to me and say something
uncomfortable, right? But at the same time, I do have to ask the question, is there
something communicatively that can be done that either the coach should do,
the player should do, to kind of, I don't even know what to say here, I guess
broach that situation, right? Because, you know, I can understand you're in pain.
Like that I can understand, right? And it's like, I don't want to push anybody if
they're in pain. If you're, Like you said, if you're debilitated, I'm not trying to
put anyone beyond comfort, right? In terms of that. So how would I even approach
that? Or do I just not? Do I just kind of play it as it lies?
- To be honest, I don't-- - These questions have never been asked before, have
anybody? Just say it. I'm pretty sure no one's ever asked it before. - I really, I
honestly don't even know. I feel like maybe that's on like, I don't know,
like the parents can talk to their kids about it and see like what they're
comfortable with and maybe they say hey like we kind of want to talk to you how
would you feel about talking to the coach do you want us to talk to the coach in
your behalf like I that's kind of how I see maybe going forward if the girl
doesn't feel comfortable talking to their coach about it maybe the parents can kind
of do that on their behalf yeah um if it were to be at that point right so I
mean that's the only thing I could think of to be honest I think every and would
be different though, for sure. - Well, look, this speaks to the point that there's
been very little discussion or research done on this. Like when it comes to the
male situation and going through this, I know Mike and I, aside from going through
it, I mean, we're well -trained on what to do when boys go through this, right? As
athletes, like we know what to do. So I think that maybe we'll just leave this
part of the discussion with, there needs to be more discussion about this. I
actually think what you said is not a bad thing. I mean, look, and I'll tell you
from my point of view, and again, I'm not saying this should happen. I'm just
saying that if parents or a player, I'll just say that were to come up to me and
say, Hey, listen, this is what's happening. That's not going to, that's not going to
bug me. I'm actually going to be appreciative that it's like, I'm thank you for
telling me, right? I'm also going to say from the other side of it, completely
understand if no one wants to say anything, right? But this is part of the game
that we, I think we do need to explore a bit more and that all coaches need to
be educated on this. Like we're saying it's just males, but the truth is like, this
is a reality of the situation. How do you balance that? Again, that's a rhetorical
question for the hockey gods out there. All right, we've got a few minutes left.
Thank you again, Hailey, for talking about that. I do appreciate that.
I wanna talk about to just being overwhelmed, Right? Anytime we talk about balance,
we do have to talk about burnout, right? Again, you're a pro athlete. There are
days you wake up and you don't want to do it. Now, as a pro athlete, you know
you got to do it tired. You got to do it a little hurt. You got to do it. 16
-year -old Hayley was experiencing that too, I'm sure. How did you as a teenager get
through that? What were the things that happened to help you there?
My biggest lesson was, I think, when I was trying too much, I had an actual
burnout. Like, I had pneumonia. I had, so I couldn't play through that one.
But that was my sign that I was doing too much. So that's at the time where I
was doing college, not college, high school soccer on top of hockey in Canada.
On top of, I was at a prep school and Buffalo, Nichols. So doing that from eight
to three o 'clock every day. And I would get home at like midnight, wake up at
six, do it all over again. Like literally, like I said, I don't know how I did
it. Clearly didn't do it that well. I had pneumonia eventually. So I think that was
my like physical sign that my body was telling me, hey, you're doing too much. So
that's when I stopped doing soccer and I just stuck with hockey in school. And that
helped immensely. So that was my physical body telling me, you're overwhelmed, please
stop. So I don't recommend waiting to get to that point. But I think,
you know, there's probably warning signs before that, right? Maybe there's like a kid
who keeps getting injured, like a overuse injury, right? That could be a sign that
like their body's overwhelmed. They could be, you know, maybe a little more
emotional, a little more, I was sort of looking for like reactive,
right? - Yeah, yeah, short fuse. - Those could kind of be signs, yeah, short fuse. I
think those could kind of be signs that like their systems overwhelmed, they're doing
too much. Let's maybe scale it back a little bit. So I think it's like looking at
the warning signs and trying to be aware. And then that's where the burnout comes
in, where they're sick of playing, you know, sports are hockey or being around those
kind of people. - Right. - So just being aware of it before it hits a breaking
point, I think is huge. - Yeah, I think parents can, I'll throw it to you one
second, Mike. I'll just say, parents sometimes, we can be too hard on our kids.
Say, I suck it up. You know what I have to, it's like, the kid's giving you signs
consistently. We play a role in that too. Sorry, Mike, go ahead. - No, no, no,
exactly. I mean, that's one of the reasons why it's so important that you're
surrounded with educated coaches because that coach should be looking for You know,
they have to look for, it's just like when a player gets a concussion, right? The
player wants to play. Players like, I'm playing, I'm fine, I'm good. You know, just
a little dinger in my head, no problem. But the coach's obligation is to sit that
player out. It's the obligation of the coach and the trainer and the people
surrounding that athlete, especially as you get higher levels. Hell, how many times
is a player getting hurt? You're looking at her in the locker room like, that girl
should not be playing. Like, she's hurt and she's just like tape it up. Let's go.
Like, you know, you have to protect that's what, but that's what's great about
thoroughbreds, right? That's what's great about athletes. Like they're like, I have to
hold you back from hurting yourself. And that's a really difficult conversation. It's
a really emotional conversation, especially as you get older and it gets really more
cutthroat and competitive that you think if I sit out, I'm losing my spot.
And you know, it's a really it's really important for coaches and parents and
trainers and administrators, you know, to be that voice that says, we love you,
we trust you, we value you, and we have to make sure we're protecting you. You
know, in closing, as we're running out of time here, guys, I'll tell you this, too.
I might get funny, you said that I just had the discussion with my son about the
difference between being hurt and injured the other day, like a genuine discussion
about, you know, what injured means and why you don't play through that, but also
what being hurt means and how you make a decision to play through that, right? And
sometimes the decision is to not play, but that's part of the mindset of, you know,
I would never ask a player to play injured ever, unless they want to. And then we
got into like the, you know, the grandiose of the Stanley Cup finals or the PWHL
finals, it's like, well, look, when you're playing for a Stanley Cup, and that's the
pinnacle of your professional career, you may play injured in that situation, but for
gold medal, you may choose to play injured, but that's the top tippy, tippy, top of
it. - Well, if you're getting paid to play, like if you're actually getting, if
you're like, no, I say this all the time because I'm like, you're not earning a
salary from this, like you're only injuring yourself for life. Like, there's a big
difference between getting paid to play and winning a Stanley Cup or a WSL
Championship, and then saying, I gotta get out there for my Men's League game. No,
it's just a big difference. (laughing) - Well, a lot of Men's League players will
play injured and hurt themselves, and that's part of the hockey life balance, right?
- There it is. - And then, Haley, just to echo you, when you're over 40, your body
will let you know when too much is too much. It's usually all the time. Guys, we
are literally out of time. This has been a great episode. For those of you
listening out there, again, any comments, thoughts, anything, topics you want to
discuss email us a team at ourkidsplayhockey .com or use the link accompanying this
episode in the description. You can text us what your name or you're from. Let us
know what you're thinking. Let us know if you have things you, again, you want us
to discuss. But for Mike Pannelli and Hailey Scamora, I'm Leo Lyas. This has been
another fun, action -packed edition of Our Girls Play Hockey. Find that balance, my
friends. And in the meantime, we'll see you on the next episode. Have a good one,
everybody.
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