Our Top-5 Episodes For Youth Hockey Parents & What They Reveal About Support That Actually Helps

Lee MJ Elias [0:00 - 3:51]: hello hockey friends and families around the world. And welcome to another special edition of our Kids Play Hockey. We're continuing our celebration of 400 episodes with our best of series. Remember, each episode in this collection highlights five of our most memorable conversations focused around one audience or theme. Today, we're spotlighting our top five episodes for Hockey Pitch Parents. Now, these are the episodes that parents tell us they come back to again and again and again to reset their mindset, recharge their approach, remind themselves why they started this hockey journey in the first place. Because it's, it's crazy. As always, we'll share a quick reflection on each episode, throw to a short clip and encourage you to go back and listen to the full conversation if it hits home. So let's jump right into it. Okay. Today's first one was one of my favorites, the Truth about Tryouts evaluations. And I actually remember doing this episode because we typically do it around eval time. Excuse me. And obviously my kids go through that too. And what we really accomplished in this episode was we broke down the myths and realities of youth hockey tryouts. So what coaches are really looking for and how families can best support their kids through that process. It's just packed with practical advice and peace of mind perspective. We also really go into it with Mike. He dives into what coaches and how we're looking at this from a year long perspective and not just the one tryout. I think the biggest mistake parents and kids can make it a tryout is thinking that these 1, 2, 3, 4 sessions, that everything's riding on these sessions. Your kid is essentially trying out the entire year. Right. And that development throughout the year. That doesn't mean there should be more pressure on that, but you should understand that. So let's throw it to a clip. Here's a moment from our tryouts episode and why it pays to keep keep the pressure low, especially, especially with younger players. And I remember this is something I did with my kids when they were younger. Changes as you get older. But have a listen to this. I have not told my kids they're going to an eval before. This works at the youngest ages. I don't tell my 7, 8 year old when they were that age. Oh, you're going to eval tomorrow. You need to go all out. You need to be, you might not make the team. I don't do any of that. Parents think I'm crazy. I just say, listen, going to a hockey practice, coaches are going to be watching you. They're looking to pick some teams for next year, just do the best you can. That's what a 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 year old needs to hear. All right? I have also heard parents say, if you want to make the double A team, you have to go out there and you've got to be first in line and you got to destroy the other kids. And it's like, why? Why are you putting that pressure on your kid at this point? First off, they should be working that hard most of the time. Second of all, don't tell your kid to go to the front of the line every drill, because if they don't know the drill, they're going to look a schmuck out there. Nothing wrong with being third or fourth in line and learning the drill. That's actually smart. All right? Because I'll tell you what, I never picked the kid, guys, because they were first in line, ever. I picked them because they were showcasing their talent and their attitude and their skill. Okay? So everyone does this a little bit differently. This was our take, remember? This was one of our most practical and reassuring episodes for families navigating the stressful world of eating evals. Go check that out if you have a chance. Okay, the next one. Another one of my favorites was with Danny Brier, who's the current general manager of the Philadelphia Flyers. But in this episode, he was just a dad. He opened up about being a hockey parent, from coaching his sons to quietly cheering from the stands. That was something that stood out from us. He's one of those guys that stands in the corner from afar. It's thoughtful, grounded, and it gives a take on staying involved without overstepping, which I think is something we all need to hear from time to time. So let's hear from Danny Briere. Reflect on the quiet joy of watching from afar. What about Danny Briere, hockey dad? Yeah. 

Daniel Briere [3:51 - 4:19]: That's interesting. You know, I tried. I mean, I got involved in coaching here and there. My favorite was definitely watching. Watching from afar. And to be honest with you, I liked watching kind of by myself, making my own opinion. I would say I'm probably on the quieter side when I. When I would watch the boys, but certainly enjoyed watching them playing. Playing minor hockey. 

Lee MJ Elias [4:20 - 8:40]: I love how he said, you know, I love watching my kid by myself, but making my own opinion. I think he's also diving into the idea that at times we can be swayed by the other people around us. And it's really important that just, like, for the kids, we don't necessarily worry about that, but look, we're all human. It happens. This episode and why you probably should go back to watch it again because it was a great one. It's a reminder that our presence as parents and coaches can be powerful, even if we're not saying anything. So, Danny, great episode. Make sure you check that out. The next one is one of our most popular episodes ever. This one gets a lot of lessons every week, listens and lessons every single week. And it's. The car ride is not for coaching. And it unpacks the damage that can be done when parents use the post game car ride for coaching and criticism. So we offer alternatives in this. Right? Listening, connecting, letting the kids lead the conversation. It was a really, really important conversation, like I just said. Right. So I'm going to throw this clip. This is actually me talking about why comparisons and critiques in the car might be doing more harm than good. Check it out. Don't commiserate too much. Don't put the onus on other people, and do not compare your kid to another kid on the team. Don't say, hey, did you see what Rebecca did out there, how she skated? You have to do that. That's not the right way of doing that, in my opinion. And Mike, Christy, you can comment on this if you're going to do something like that. It's, you know, I love how Rebecca skates so hard. What can we do to get you to do that? What do you think we can do to work out at home to get you to that speed? That's. That's a better way of doing it. And you don't even have to bring up Rebecca, to be honest with you, at that point. Yeah, that car ride home is a really, really important part of the overall hockey journey. And look, every parent does it a little bit differently. I know that I want to talk about games and practices with my kids at the end, but the truth is this. They really should be engaging me. They have a right to that time. And look, that episode's really important because it reframes one of the most emotionally charged moments in youth sports. And it really is. And it gives parents the chance to build trust instead of tension with their kids, which I know is something we all want to do, but it's just. It's just a great episode. Make sure you go check that out. All right. The next one is actually the most popular episode we've ever done on our Kids Play Hockey. More people have listened to this than any other one. It gets a lot of revisits. I know that from talking to people. And it's the Three things to say to your kid before they step on the ice. Right. And again, we dive into it. We actually give three meaningful phrases in this that every parent can say to their child. It was a shorter episode, so you should go back and listen to it because I'm not going to spoil it here for you. But they're intentional comments that set the tone for trust, focus, and most importantly, joy. Right. Joy is something your kids should be experiencing when they go to the ice. And sometimes this can make the difference between a confident game and a rattled one. All right, so look, there's a lot of clips we could have picked from this. This is a good one. Check it out. I've said it many times on this show. My father always told me before every single ice session, practice in between, no matter what happens on the ice today, I'm still going to love you when you're done. Now, why is this important? And I think Kobe Bryant, he said this in that interview and I'm saying it too. It eliminates the fear of failing for your child. All right, listen, I'm going to encourage you all again that that's an episode you want to watch in its entirety. It'll help you build some emotional safety and security with your kids, also fosters them to be individuals, and most importantly, it strengthens the bond between you and your kid. What you say to them before they go on the ice is so important. So check that one out. All right, our last one for today of the top five, this is one that rattled me a little bit. And it's how to create a screen routine to improve hockey performance with Larissa Mills. So we had her come on. She's a cognitive behavioral specialist and she outlines really well how screen time affects youth athletes focus, their mental health and their hockey iq. And she also shared in this episode actionable strategies families can use to create those really healthy habits, those performance boosting habits. I'll also tell you this. She shared some stats in this episode that blew my mind from how much screen time your kid should be getting each day and then what it really does for their brain. Right. That's something you got to think about. So here's Larissa Mills with an eye opening look at screen time and its effect on performance. 

Larissa Mills [8:42 - 8:48]: Average child is on a phone 22,000 hours. Some are 35,000 hours by 16. 

Lee MJ Elias [8:49 - 8:49]: Wow. 

Larissa Mills [8:49 - 9:33]: All the evidence and science points to if you write talk show share teach curriculum goes from the long short term memory of the brain to the long term memory of the brain. And we remember things right now. We're not remembering much, so. So that's why boys GPAs are crashing in the US crashing. Our averages here in Canada don't look good. You don't want to look over here north of the border, not good. So we have to do something. So routines you were speaking about, Mike, are actually the best and educating them about what social media is and to make it a. Don't take my good energy. I want it to give me good energy. And if it's not giving me good energy, delete it. 

Lee MJ Elias [9:33 - 10:31]: Delete. Yeah. And I, I really love in that clip how she talks about the social media feed and how it's different from anybody. You want to make that a good feed. If your kid's going to be on there, you should audit that. Obviously when they get a little older, that's, that's their responsibility. But just tremendous information. Definitely go back and listen. This one, it was a wake up call. This episode for every family trying to balance tech training and their mental wellness. Okay, so that's it. That's gonna wrap up our top five episodes for hockey parents. We really hope you go back and listen. Whether it's tryouts, car rides, screen routines, learning how to simply enjoy the game again, these episodes are designed to support you and support your players. And remember, we've got a lot more best of lists coming your way. From episodes for players, coaches to goalies to NHL guests to other guests and more. If you found value here, do us a favor. Share the episode with a fellow hockey parent or your team group chat. These are the perfect shareable bite size episodes. I'm Lee Elias. This is the been another 400 spectacular episode of our Kids Play Hockey. We'll see you on the next one, everybody.