Oct. 21, 2023

The Evolution of a Crazy Hockey Parent

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Season 1 Our Kids Play Hockey

Ever cringed over the sight of a rabid hockey parent, screaming at the sidelines and pushing their child beyond reasonable limits? We sure have, and this episode is all about that - navigating the perilous landscape of youth hockey parenting. We start the discussion by reminiscing about the evolution of 'crazy hockey parents,' pondering on the right time for a child to take the game seriously. 

As the conversation deepens, we tackle the balancing act of supporting your child's aspirations while keeping the parent-child relationship healthy. From the daunting task of finding the right coaches and camps to supporting your child's skill development, it all plays a role. Crucial to this conversation is the understanding that your support as a parent shouldn't hinge on your child's success in the game. 

But what about the dark side of hockey parenting? We dissect the negative aftermath of pressuring children into taking the game seriously too soon, the myth of building genetics, and the societal pressure to boast about “proud parent” moments on social media. We also address the elitism creeping into youth sports, shrinking the landscape for local teams and pick-up games. This episode is not just about the dangers, though. It's about finding a way through the 'crazy hockey environment,' nurturing a love for the game in a fun, supportive atmosphere, and giving kids the space to find their own path in hockey. 

Text The Our Kids Play Hockey Team!

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00:52 - The Evolution of Crazy Hockey Parents

11:42 - Parent-Child Connection in Youth Sports

18:26 - The Impact of Crazy Hockey Parents

24:44 - Parenting and Coaching in Youth Hockey

35:08 - Importance of Youth Hockey Development

41:49 - Navigating the Crazy Hockey Parent Dynamic

49:09 - Navigating the Crazy Hockey Environment

WEBVTT

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Are you a crazy hockey parent?

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That is today's discussion topic.

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Are you a crazy hockey parent or, as we uncover, are you just caught up in the crazy hockey atmosphere?

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Mike and I tremendous discussion today.

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You're going to love where this one goes.

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Mike also has a surprise for you at the beginning of the episode that we uncover pretty quickly, so make sure you listen.

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Also, we're into the season.

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We are booking quick here for team building sessions and team performance sessions, both digitally, online and in person here.

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If that's something you want to do for your team, have a one hour team talk or more, we do team building events.

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There's a lot of things we can do.

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Head over to game7groupcom and check out some of our options and just feel free to email me at leighathgames7groupcom.

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Let's set you guys up this year for a great team building event.

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Again, when I say team building, I don't mean going out to dinner.

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I mean really talking to the kids about accountability, about trust, about communication all the things that are going to be a team being really great and the kids working together.

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We've had some amazing results with the teams we've worked with, which is really on them coming together and choosing to take that education.

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On Game7groupcom.

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Check out the options or email me at leighathgames7groupcom Without further ado.

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Let's get into our kids play hockey, with Mike and I talking about.

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Are you a crazy hockey parent?

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Here we go.

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Hello hockey friends and families around the world, and welcome to another edition of our kids play hockey.

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Today's a topic that we're all going to want to talk about.

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It is the evolution of the crazy hockey parent.

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This has been inspired by you.

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We asked all of you for topics and a lot of them were great, and we realized that we need to bring on some guests for some of them, to make sure we have an expert on the panel.

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But this is one I think that Mike and I are qualified to talk about.

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But before we get going, for those of you watching the episode, you might notice this, but Mike's missing a tooth right in the front.

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He's got a Bobby Clark smile going on right now.

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He's covering his face, but it's there, Mike.

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It's there.

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We're going to own it, Mike.

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I think the viewers and the listeners are owed an explanation.

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What's going on there?

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Yeah.

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So this is the perfect example of listen to your parents when you're 18, 19 years old and you want to play, you want to be a big boy and be tough guy and wear a half shield or, at that point, no shield.

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So back a long time ago.

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In a galaxy far, far away.

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Before Howie's made a popular lost couple teeth.

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But I had a rough weekend, got to see a dentist.

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It's a holiday weekend so we're going to reach out to my friend soon in town and get it taken care of.

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We'll try to.

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We'll try to muscle through today and, you know, using straw today, I guess.

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Mike, the listeners are rushing to YouTube, right so to see what's going on here.

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No, mike, you look beautiful, as we say in the game.

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You look like a beauty, okay, and you're owning that today and, to give Mike credit, everybody like he's owning it.

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He did say he's owed it.

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Today he's coming on.

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Mike, to be fair, this is the perfect show to have that tooth out.

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Yeah, it was on a, I guess, a different episode of something else, like you know, good, you know mouth guard episode.

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Maybe it'd be better.

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Good morning, Connecticut.

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You know they would not be on with a tooth like that.

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I did, I did my, I did, I did this.

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This did happen to me already.

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I'm still waiting to get some other stuff done and I'm sure there's some dentists in the in the in the crew that can DM me and give me some better advice.

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But I'm I did open my junior ranger hockey camp a couple of months back with the same issue on the Monday morning, with 70 parents in the in the hall trying to speak to them with not be able to use F's, and you know, speak properly.

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So you might, and the bench you'll see me this way is my lineup card.

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I just a lot there's a lot of cover on the balcony.

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Come on, boys, let's go.

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We got to get going here.

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Yeah.

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If this was a funnier show, we'll let it go and, yeah, we'd have an F count If this was another type of show.

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But we're not going to do that to you today.

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Mike, let's let's keep away from the apps and the S's.

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Yeah Well, listen, I'm not going to tempt fate by making jokes about how I have all of my teeth, because I have a game tonight and, as the hockey gods know, I'm not tempting you, hockey gods, but no, mike, appreciate you.

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Put a mask on if you're, unless you're getting paid a couple of million dollars a year.

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It's not that much.

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Yeah, in fact I think it's.

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I pay a couple of million dollars a year.

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I don't think I get paid anything.

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But listen, we want to jump to this episode.

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I'm going to read the comment and again, for those of you who jumped on that post about giving us some topics, I'm going to say it again a lot of great topics on there, and just some of them.

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We want to bring on a guest to talk about because I think it's the right thing to do.

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But this one, again, we're qualified to talk about.

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Tommy wrote this for the crazy hockey parents like myself.

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He admitted it.

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So we do have a crazy hockey parent that listens to the show.

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God bless you, tommy.

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How serious to take the game and when.

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I want to know how and when to know.

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I find a lot of parents push very early because they're afraid of their kid getting behind.

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What is the right approach for your kid to have fun but not get left behind?

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Mike, you know that's a super fair question that opens up a whole discussion and that's why we selected it today.

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So again, the title of the episode is the evolution of a crazy hockey parent, and I can see how this happens.

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I can see how someone comes in with the purists of intentions and by the time they get to you know, the U15, u18, they transform into a crazy hockey parent.

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I think we should define first, though, mike like, what is a crazy hockey parent?

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Because I don't think we're talking about the one that runs down and hits the ref on the head, or the one that runs on the ice and starts, you know, fighting players.

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That's the extreme, that is the moronic hockey parent.

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There's no space in that for the game.

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I think we're talking about the parent that is crazy for their kid to the point that it's too much.

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Would you agree with that?

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Well, yeah, I mean, it's almost like the crazy hockey parent in this area is the one that realizes that what they're doing is really extreme.

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Like what you're doing is like stuff that you like.

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When you're sitting at a cocktail party and you're talking to other parents of non-crazy hockey parents that they look at you like a little like you're doing what and you're going where and you spent how much.

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Like it's like.

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And I know, and I know in the hockey world and I kind of get upset about this.

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But you see, every weekend on Facebook and Instagram and other other these you know social media sites and people joke around like you see the meme of the house that has the, you know the seven foot tall grass and they're like oh, I'm a hockey parent.

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Or you know Halloween is the only house in the neighborhood doesn't have decorations.

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I'm a hockey parent.

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You know the parent that says you know well why.

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You know what do you?

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You know, show me your calendar so we can, you know, get a day or a weekend where we can have some kind of family event.

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You say, no, I'm sorry, I'm a hockey parent.

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So that to me is and it's again.

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It's getting worse and worse and worse, these are all self-inflicted wounds Like this, this is, and these aren't things that you know, we all can't look at and say, well, we could easily avoid that.

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I mean that that that makes a lot of sense.

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Like you know, I can avoid that, you know, and, and, but we don't write because in, in, by definition, we're becoming a crazy hockey parent.

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So it's, and I don't really, I probably looked at those, you know, looked at these people.

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I'm a crazy hockey parent.

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I mean, there's no doubt about that.

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Like I don't, I don't, I'm not a crazy hockey parent to the point of.

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You know, I think my kids are at some kind of crazy, at some kind of elite level, but I am doing things that are outside the norm of a regular human being in travel and expenses and paying somebody else, you know, paying another company to sleep in their bed to, you know, fill up my gas tank and justify it.

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You know, sit there and go.

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No, no, I, you know, I don't know, $160 for a weekend of gas, that ain't so bad.

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Could be worse.

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Are you crazy, mike?

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Well, I don't know, I don't think you know, because I could be just as dedicated by being in my own rink in my own town for an hour out of my day and not spend, you know, two, you know two or three weekends in a row in Boston or Rochester or Philadelphia, or you know there is there is other ways to do it.

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But I think the conversation that this parent was having was more like, well, when, like, am I crazy?

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Like do I need to be crazy?

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Like where the pressure from me to fall in line is really high, because it's.

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You know, I posted something recently about, you know, tournaments charging $20 per parent to go see your kid play in a game you're very paid for.

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And you know, one of my really good friends, you know, sent me a message privately and said well, you chose that you as a consumer didn't have to do that.

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You did.

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I'm like, yeah, no, there's no doubt about it, I did it.

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It's just that you know, where is it when you can, where is it where you could buck the rest of the system and still try to hope that your kids have success?

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You know it's, and the only issue well, not the only issue, but the big issue I have is this is becoming.

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This is becoming an epidemic, earlier and earlier and earlier and earlier.

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I mean we're seeing you 18,.

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You know, 2018 teams right now, you know having this type of pressure, 2018.

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This is we're, we're, we're, we're recording this in 2023, by the way.

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It was born in 2018.

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Yeah.

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And you're having, and you're having a discussion.

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You're five or six, five or six years old, yeah.

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And you're having discussions on a regular basis about going to Detroit.

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That's crazy.

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Again, if you're living, if you're living outside Michigan, we should say right, you know it's weird.

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And again, this is why we want to have discussion, because this splits right In a lot of different ways.

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Because, again, when we say crazy hockey parent, I think people think the crazed maniac, right, the truth is, we're all a little crazy if we're involved in this game at some point and, like you know, I always try and make myself vulnerable in these episodes.

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With my own experience and keeping in mind my kids are squirts and mites right now.

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So you know, again, I have played myself at the older age groups, but I'm experiencing this as a parent and you know, again, this show has been really great for keeping me on track.

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But I can tell you right now that I'm crazy about hockey.

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All right, anybody who knows me knows that right, hockey, hockey for lack of a better word is a massive part of my life.

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Now, it's not the only thing in my life, it's not my priority in life.

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My priority is my family, my wife, my kids, so forth and so on.

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So I think that my gauge for it and sharing my own experience because when my kids first started, I was I had a lot of anxiety more than I thought I would.

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For someone who's been in the game their whole life, I've really learned how to temper that and just remind myself that.

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A their kids you know.

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B there is a process to this development that takes a long time, and I had to come to terms with the fact that I have all this knowledge I want to share with my own kids, but that doesn't mean they're ready to receive it, and I have to be very, very patient with that.

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That was that was really frustrating.

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But here's the deal.

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This is kind of my line.

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All right.

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I think that the connection you have with your children is the most important thing and the most important gauge, right.

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And what's crazy to me, mike and again this is another side of it is that you're not even sure if your kids love this anymore or they're just doing it because that's what you do as a family, all right.

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So it's it's very important to me that my kids know A I know that they're having a blast like that.

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This is really fun for them and they're enjoying it.

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That's the most important thing.

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If we lose that, I don't know what we're doing anymore, and that's the good and the bad.

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And what I mean is, like you know, it's kind of like a thumbs up, thumbs down.

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You know, are we into this, are we still doing this, or are we just doing it because we've been doing it?

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I think that's an important part of it.

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For me is is is keeping a gauge on that.

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Now I would also say 90, 85 to 90% of families would say yeah, we're into it, we love it, it's it's, it's something we do as a family.

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Then I think the next crazy thing is this imaginary and Mike, I'm going to want you to touch on this it's imaginary competitive atmosphere of player versus player and, you know, finding the right trainer and finding the right camp and finding the right showcase to showcase your kid or kids.

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To me, that's where it gets crazy, because amongst all the people I know that have really quote unquote made it, you know there is there is a lot of things that they do, but the truth is this the kid is usually a tremendous athlete at every sport, it's not just hockey.

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They are.

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They have an obsession with the game, both in love and their dedication of time to the game outside of their teams Right.

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And then on top of it, there's an aptitude Right, and unfortunately there are very few kids that can get to that point, and that's okay.

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That's where I think the craziness comes in.

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It's okay, statistically speaking, not many of our kids are going to make it farther than high school.

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That's okay, all right.

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And again, we've lost touch with that being okay.

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And that's where I find the crazy hockey parent comes in and, like you always say, you know everybody always oh, it's, that's not my kid, that's not my kid.

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And look, hey, look, maybe it's not, maybe maybe your kid is the exception, but it's Mike and I have been watching this game a long time.

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There are very few exceptions, I can tell you this.

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When there is one, you know, you, just you know, because the kid is a prodigy.

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I think what happens is sometimes we get lost in the.

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That's my kid, that's good, but we're not in touch with the.

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Does my kid love this and do I have a good relationship with my kid?

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Right?

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Are my priorities pure?

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Am I putting the game ahead of school?

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Am I putting the game ahead of love?

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And I'm going to say that point blank.

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If you're putting the game ahead, showing love to your children and we all show love in different ways, but you got to ask yourself that you know, do my kids know I love them?

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Don't, don't assume, because you're spending ridiculous amounts of money and driving them and doing everything, that they know that they're kids.

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You're just kids.

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So again, mike, we can go a lot of different directions with this, but to me that's the gauge of craziness is when you leave kind of the sanity of that relationship you have with your kids behind.

00:14:25.520 --> 00:14:26.923
Yeah, but it was a lot to unpack there, right?

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Because you have so many different facets of what you're expecting out of your, out of the experience, right?

00:14:32.912 --> 00:14:47.193
and what's the what's the term if you, you know, crazy is, you know, doing the same thing over and over again and in sanity, yeah, in sanity and crazy and inspecting a different result, I mean, and we do that, we see that every day, and I don't know how to say it any simpler.

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But the fact is that the kid is going to make it.

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They're going to make it Right.

00:14:51.139 --> 00:14:57.326
They are If the love is there and the and the access is there and the financial resources.

00:14:57.326 --> 00:15:00.370
Resources are there for you to allow them to.

00:15:00.370 --> 00:15:06.557
You know, get as most, the most out of training as they possibly want and can get out of it.

00:15:06.557 --> 00:15:09.846
You can't, like you can't, train a kid to be great.

00:15:09.846 --> 00:15:16.664
You could get, you could give a great kid an opportunity to train to get better, but you can't.

00:15:16.664 --> 00:15:21.052
You can't train a kid to go Well, I'm going to train this kid to be the best athlete.

00:15:21.052 --> 00:15:21.893
Well, no, they're either.

00:15:21.893 --> 00:15:26.607
You can help help them with certain aspects of their game.

00:15:26.607 --> 00:15:35.289
It's just like math, it's just like science, just like anything else, like, if you can't, if you can't do it, if your brain can't do it, they can't do it Right.

00:15:35.490 --> 00:15:41.422
And again, now can you, and that's okay, you got, we got to keep reading, absolutely, but that's why we're all different.

00:15:41.461 --> 00:15:42.543
That's why we're all different, right.

00:15:42.543 --> 00:15:43.865
I mean if you can support it.

00:15:43.865 --> 00:15:45.466
We say the same thing about coaches.

00:15:45.466 --> 00:16:01.412
When you're teaching right, if you teach on the board, if you teach verbally, if you teach on the ice, if you teach on a piece of paper, if you teach just, you know, imaginary, like, imagine this drill, like all these kids, and then you wonder why every kid doesn't understand the drill to do, to, don't, to like.

00:16:01.412 --> 00:16:02.234
I think I understand.

00:16:02.234 --> 00:16:02.794
I'm not sure.

00:16:02.794 --> 00:16:04.860
They're all learning different ways.

00:16:04.860 --> 00:16:08.065
Our athletes are developing different ways.

00:16:08.065 --> 00:16:13.272
If you're a great, if you have a great foundation athletically now you can build on that, right.

00:16:13.272 --> 00:16:18.860
But if you're a parent that's forcing your kid in it because you're, because you create, you're crazy.

00:16:18.860 --> 00:16:20.422
You're crazy, you're crazy about.

00:16:20.422 --> 00:16:23.447
I invested this money, I put in the time.

00:16:23.447 --> 00:16:25.830
I want an ROI like there has to be.

00:16:25.830 --> 00:16:32.860
I can produce a player, I can, I can squeeze this coal and make a diamond because I can do it.

00:16:32.860 --> 00:16:42.674
I have the financial resources, the time and I have the I, me, the parent has the motivation to, to, to motivate my kid.

00:16:44.586 --> 00:16:46.722
Listen, it's not even about your kid at that point.

00:16:46.982 --> 00:16:56.822
There might be certain kids that we've here in the NHL all the time, kids that have players that have made it that hate it, like they literally say hate it, hate their life.

00:16:56.822 --> 00:16:59.745
I hate my life but I made it millions of dollars.

00:16:59.745 --> 00:17:03.509
I'm here, but don't ask me to ever talk to my family.

00:17:03.509 --> 00:17:04.390
Don't ask me to, you know.

00:17:04.390 --> 00:17:06.991
Don't ask me to do some socially.

00:17:06.991 --> 00:17:12.416
Don't ask me to do things outside of what I currently, you know, I'm required to do for work.

00:17:12.900 --> 00:17:13.701
Yeah, bobby Ryan.

00:17:13.701 --> 00:17:30.862
Bobby Ryan is a great example of this, right by Brian, is an all star NHL or who had major major problems Both in his life with his father right, admittedly, right, yeah, yeah, and he's very much opened up about that that he was pressured beyond belief to make it and he did make it.

00:17:30.862 --> 00:17:34.391
Look, that will always be the person that argues yeah, but look what he got.

00:17:34.391 --> 00:17:37.509
And I'm the, I'm the person who always says but look what he lost.

00:17:38.220 --> 00:17:39.280
Yeah, but there's a lot of people out there.

00:17:39.280 --> 00:17:42.484
Listen, I've been, you know I've been.

00:17:42.484 --> 00:17:53.596
I've grown up with players that their parents have made them do 500 shots before they could go out and play or have, and they relatively made it like they played at a very high level.

00:17:53.596 --> 00:18:02.612
But my contention is, if that player would have done that on their own anyway and found the time to motivate themselves, they're already good, they're ready, the best player on their team.

00:18:02.612 --> 00:18:04.273
They're ready, the best player in their age group.

00:18:04.273 --> 00:18:05.796
They're ready, the best player in their region.

00:18:05.796 --> 00:18:22.656
And what we're, what we've done now, is creating these crazy hockey parents by by actually thinking that we are the arbiters of talent and that we build a triple A team, that all those kids now are triple A players, and then we build another and another, and another and another.

00:18:22.656 --> 00:18:26.246
So we're used to be, we're a region of 18 kids were the best.

00:18:26.246 --> 00:18:28.410
Now it's a region of 68 kids.

00:18:28.410 --> 00:18:30.113
I think they're the best right and then there's a.

00:18:30.113 --> 00:18:37.785
There's a whole other area that thinks 150 of them are all the best, and then they're all a training the same way, the crazy way.

00:18:37.785 --> 00:18:41.970
And if you really wanted to produce a world class athlete, you wouldn't.

00:18:41.970 --> 00:18:49.979
You wouldn't travel most of the time, you wouldn't spend most of your time doing things that don't really enhance your team development.

00:18:49.979 --> 00:18:51.340
Right, and you'd be.

00:18:51.340 --> 00:18:52.962
You'd be building a holistic athlete.

00:18:52.962 --> 00:19:06.588
You'd be building an athlete that could be injected into any category in life and be successful, and we've seen that most of the time, more so than not, successful athletes that have great foundations are then successful.

00:19:06.588 --> 00:19:08.294
And other things they do outside everything they do.

00:19:08.534 --> 00:19:10.859
Yeah, it's not their athletic ability that's making them successful.

00:19:11.361 --> 00:19:16.707
It's right they just happen to be gifted by God right to have an athletic ability and you can't, you can't.

00:19:16.707 --> 00:19:18.809
You know we joke around, but it's true.

00:19:18.809 --> 00:19:23.756
You can't build size, you can't build heart, you can't build all these different things.

00:19:23.980 --> 00:19:24.826
What am I?

00:19:24.826 --> 00:19:26.799
To be fair, you can't build genetics, right?

00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:28.201
So I mean genetic.

00:19:28.241 --> 00:19:29.324
You're genetically built.

00:19:29.324 --> 00:19:36.657
Yeah, now can genetic freaks of nature compete with genetically in, you know, in adequate players?

00:19:36.657 --> 00:19:39.122
Because that player can be smarter and we can.

00:19:39.122 --> 00:19:43.692
We get you know and be more you know you can put themselves in a better situation.

00:19:43.692 --> 00:19:46.096
Because there are great athletes are just not you know.

00:19:46.096 --> 00:19:48.862
Six with three, 225 pounds, I mean.

00:19:48.862 --> 00:19:49.643
I look at some players.

00:19:49.643 --> 00:19:52.147
I'm like how the hell did anybody ever play against this guy?

00:19:52.147 --> 00:19:57.136
Like you sit, you sit with NHL players and you're like how does anybody play against you?

00:19:57.136 --> 00:19:58.078
You're a monster.

00:19:58.078 --> 00:19:58.859
Like how does anybody get around you?

00:19:58.859 --> 00:20:02.859
So, but other players find then they got a Johnny Goodrall or something like that.

00:20:02.859 --> 00:20:04.281
I think that's a little castle.

00:20:04.281 --> 00:20:08.226
I feel Catholic, they can play out very, very high level Right.

00:20:08.226 --> 00:20:16.836
But I think when we talk about the crazy parent, we're talking about the parent that is giving up so much other things earlier and earlier and earlier.

00:20:16.836 --> 00:20:19.501
Listen, I'm not talking about 16 year olds.

00:20:19.501 --> 00:20:39.825
I'm talking about five, six year olds, nine, year olds that are doing the things and especially, what really, I think, breaks my heart the most is a lot of these dads and moms were really, really good players when they were young and they forget they didn't do any of this stuff, right.

00:20:39.825 --> 00:20:51.887
They played outside, they played multi sports, they never played year round, they never played 90 games a year, they never had a, you know, a $650 wardrobe for the weekend for hockey.

00:20:51.887 --> 00:21:02.306
I mean, that's what bothers me the most is they forget what really gave them their inspiration, and that was the joy of playing and the love of playing and the love of being around your teammates.

00:21:02.306 --> 00:21:18.122
And now we're just plucking and picking kids and changing teams every six months and driving the one kid to succeed and then ultimately and not even statistically, this is not anecdotally, this is fact that kid doesn't make it anyway, right, all of that.

00:21:18.122 --> 00:21:25.815
Now you know, I see it all the time Parents like oh well, I love the joy of being my kid and I think it's the greatest gift in the world that I'm able to do this.

00:21:25.815 --> 00:21:26.780
I'm like bullshit.

00:21:26.780 --> 00:21:31.087
I said just, you could do the same thing by being at a family barbecue.

00:21:31.087 --> 00:21:32.089
You could just say you could get.

00:21:32.089 --> 00:21:38.038
You could get the same output by doing things in a more sane way.

00:21:38.038 --> 00:21:41.544
That will still Result in.

00:21:41.544 --> 00:21:51.819
At the end of the day, it'll still result in your kid making it or not, or being a great high school player or not, or continuing to play through high school and adult league and men's league.

00:21:51.819 --> 00:21:54.465
And then they're 78 years old and they're still playing.

00:21:54.465 --> 00:21:58.336
They love the game, they're well adjusted, they're great business people.

00:21:58.336 --> 00:21:59.839
It's still going to happen.

00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:02.384
But I think we look at the one percenters.

00:22:02.384 --> 00:22:04.207
We look at the people say well, look at that person.

00:22:04.207 --> 00:22:06.150
Did that person did this, this, this and this?

00:22:06.150 --> 00:22:07.250
I'm going to follow that path.

00:22:07.250 --> 00:22:13.348
I go, yeah, but you're, but you can't look at you like you're not that person, right?

00:22:13.348 --> 00:22:14.880
I?

00:22:14.900 --> 00:22:15.101
don't know.

00:22:15.101 --> 00:22:16.344
Well, my gut to you this.

00:22:16.344 --> 00:22:20.059
I wrote as normal, I wrote a bunch of notes, you know.

00:22:20.059 --> 00:22:21.422
I think there's a few things again.

00:22:21.422 --> 00:22:23.924
We talked about the difference of parents today from yesterday or.

00:22:23.924 --> 00:22:29.932
You know, we always kind of give the kids like the oh they had, they had to deal with social media.

00:22:29.932 --> 00:22:31.013
Now we did parents.

00:22:31.013 --> 00:22:32.635
You know we're dealing with social media too.

00:22:32.635 --> 00:22:35.405
I think there's a lot of pressure there of posting.

00:22:35.405 --> 00:22:44.804
Look what my kid did, which, again, I'm not telling any of you not to post proud dad or mom moments, absolutely, but that you got to note that that that pressure might be there.

00:22:44.804 --> 00:22:56.740
Also, the FOMO which is, you know, fear, missing out, that that has that is way bigger than it has ever been, because there's so much more out there that if we don't do this, we don't do that.

00:22:56.740 --> 00:23:10.839
At this point in my kids hockey journey, depending on the weekend, I'm okay missing for something else if we, if we choose to right now, I'm not saying would tell our team to screw off or anything like that, but if, if an event you know we had Kim right on last episode.

00:23:10.839 --> 00:23:12.143
She talks about it.

00:23:12.143 --> 00:23:14.847
She has four kids playing and they're okay as a family.

00:23:14.847 --> 00:23:18.695
Missing a game for a family event and I think that they're right on for that, right.

00:23:18.695 --> 00:23:19.517
It depends on the game.

00:23:19.517 --> 00:23:22.642
They're not missing playoff games, right, but they're.

00:23:22.642 --> 00:23:24.042
They prioritize the family.

00:23:24.042 --> 00:23:25.625
So I also wrote some other notes.

00:23:25.625 --> 00:23:35.715
Mike, I'm certain, right, things like crazy is like I'm certain to write things like that, so they're crazy is forcing your child to only identify through the game.

00:23:35.715 --> 00:23:38.063
That's crazy to me right now.

00:23:38.063 --> 00:23:41.126
I will admit fully that I did that.

00:23:41.126 --> 00:23:45.432
I identified only through the game until my mid 20s and this is what's funny about it.

00:23:45.432 --> 00:23:47.413
My parents had nothing to do with that.

00:23:47.413 --> 00:23:49.480
I did that on my own Right.

00:23:49.480 --> 00:23:53.087
So parents like your kids don't need your help with that, right.

00:23:53.087 --> 00:23:57.675
So don't don't accelerate that, don't amplify that you know.

00:23:57.675 --> 00:23:59.819
Make sure that they know there's things out there other than hockey.

00:23:59.819 --> 00:24:09.233
I wrote this crazy is losing sight of life lessons, right, the wins and the losses and the adversity and that that.

00:24:09.233 --> 00:24:12.839
I'm not saying everybody does this, but this well, if I throw more money at it, I'll find a solution.

00:24:12.839 --> 00:24:14.801
That's not the point of youth sports.

00:24:14.801 --> 00:24:24.492
Is all that's crazy to me, right, a big loss or not making a team or getting cut or a bad coach, any of that stuff.

00:24:24.492 --> 00:24:29.481
That's an opportunity, as a parent, to teach your kid how to be accountable, not an opportunity.

00:24:29.481 --> 00:24:30.564
This is what I think is crazy.

00:24:30.564 --> 00:24:33.748
To blame the team, to blame the coach only right.

00:24:33.748 --> 00:24:35.431
Just to only put the blame on of what?

00:24:35.431 --> 00:24:36.633
If you had a better coach, you'd play better.

00:24:36.633 --> 00:24:39.681
I never want to say that to my kid Ever.

00:24:39.681 --> 00:24:41.522
It's no, this is the situation we're in.

00:24:41.522 --> 00:24:42.483
It's unfortunate.

00:24:42.483 --> 00:24:45.027
How are we going to deal with this?

00:24:45.027 --> 00:24:46.348
That's the lesson.

00:24:46.348 --> 00:24:50.380
It freaks me out when parents lose sight of that.

00:24:54.069 --> 00:24:56.558
Again, it's these the craze.

00:24:56.558 --> 00:25:01.717
So I don't know, I probably don't even like the word crazy, because we're not, they're not crazy, they're, you know, I think.

00:25:01.717 --> 00:25:03.617
But this parent is saying crazy hockey parent.

00:25:03.617 --> 00:25:10.019
But it's just a really passionate person that, like again, he's not the guy, I hope he's not the person grabbing the top of the glass and shaking it.

00:25:10.019 --> 00:25:10.519
What's the video?

00:25:10.789 --> 00:25:11.638
I don't think they listen to us.

00:25:11.638 --> 00:25:12.446
You know, thanks, larry.

00:25:12.446 --> 00:25:13.808
I don't think they listen to our show.

00:25:14.151 --> 00:25:16.538
So he's not the guy throwing garbage cans across the rink.

00:25:16.538 --> 00:25:26.277
He's not the guy you know knocking on the referee's door after a game, you know demanding an answer to why they, you know, gave up but you know didn't call a penalty shot in their eight U cross-size game.

00:25:26.277 --> 00:25:28.557
I think it's just like it's the craze.

00:25:28.557 --> 00:25:29.492
Those are crazy.

00:25:29.492 --> 00:25:30.656
People Like those are crazy.

00:25:30.656 --> 00:25:31.539
Forget about hockey parents.

00:25:32.172 --> 00:25:36.575
I just I guarantee the same people they drive, all of them drive and you know exactly who they are on the road.

00:25:37.851 --> 00:25:40.736
They're the same people that are ripping on a 13 year old umpire, right?

00:25:40.736 --> 00:25:50.057
So I think that's that to me is not the definition of the crazy hockey parent, and I really don't think the crazy hockey parent can really be defined in one way.

00:25:50.057 --> 00:26:01.615
It's just when, when you listen, if you're defining yourself as crazy, then maybe, maybe you got to step back and say, oh, wait a minute, okay, what did I just do this weekend?

00:26:01.615 --> 00:26:03.635
Like, why did I like?

00:26:03.635 --> 00:26:04.759
Why did I join this again?

00:26:04.759 --> 00:26:06.877
And my kids crying doesn't want to come into the rink?

00:26:07.069 --> 00:26:08.615
Yeah, they don't want to go to practice.

00:26:10.134 --> 00:26:15.095
They're missing too much school, they're not part of any other social events, but hockey is, so them in.

00:26:15.095 --> 00:26:17.636
Any listen, any sport is demanding.

00:26:17.636 --> 00:26:26.737
I think hockey becomes more demanding because in most cases, unless you're in Minnesota or you know some parts of Massachusetts and you know, hockey is a travel sport.

00:26:26.737 --> 00:26:28.371
It's not soccer, it's not.

00:26:28.371 --> 00:26:34.537
You know basketball, I, literally right now it could be at a basketball, you know court in in about eight minutes.

00:26:34.537 --> 00:26:36.836
Soccer I could be there in less than eight minutes.

00:26:36.836 --> 00:26:39.596
You know football, I could be there.

00:26:39.596 --> 00:26:40.397
Baseball I could be there.

00:26:40.397 --> 00:26:41.634
These are 10 minutes away.

00:26:41.634 --> 00:26:45.118
If I go, if I want to go to hockey, it's an hour 45 minutes.

00:26:45.118 --> 00:26:46.734
It's, it's, it's, it's.

00:26:46.734 --> 00:26:50.551
And then I got to go there three or four times a week, right, so it's.

00:26:50.551 --> 00:26:58.833
The sports are changing, the landscapes change so much that that we're and, and and, and.

00:26:58.833 --> 00:27:01.240
I think the sport ultimately is shrinking.

00:27:01.240 --> 00:27:08.116
I know our numbers might look like they're getting bigger, but they're getting only bigger for kids that can afford it, right, and kids that are willing to travel.

00:27:08.116 --> 00:27:11.311
But our sport is getting smaller, it's shrinking.

00:27:11.311 --> 00:27:17.857
It's less about community and more about about development and and, and.

00:27:17.857 --> 00:27:20.815
You know making it and going to another.

00:27:20.815 --> 00:27:23.957
You know the next level, which is so odd to me.

00:27:24.211 --> 00:27:25.477
You're talking about elitism.

00:27:25.477 --> 00:27:29.200
I mean, yeah, and it's but the sport itself is allowing that to happen.

00:27:29.289 --> 00:27:31.858
I mean, the governing body of the sport is allowing this to happen.

00:27:31.858 --> 00:27:32.250
They're not.

00:27:32.250 --> 00:27:34.499
They're they're not doing anything to combat this.

00:27:34.499 --> 00:27:54.000
So I think for for the case of the crazy hockey parent, it then becomes well, where where can I you know, I don't know what the term is like fight back, like, where can I change your trajectory and still feel like my kid can move on to the next level and still play at a higher level?

00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:58.259
And I don't know, I, I, I don't know the answer to that, because I'm part of the problem.

00:27:58.259 --> 00:27:58.780
I'm in this.

00:27:58.910 --> 00:28:06.342
Well, I was going to say I think I think a lot of the answers that's not up to us as parents, that's, that's up to the kid to to to kind of show you what they have.

00:28:06.369 --> 00:28:12.257
Even if your kid, even if your kid said listen, I just want to play, I just want to play with my friends and I want to play locally.

00:28:12.257 --> 00:28:15.820
There is no local options anymore there are no pick up hockey.

00:28:15.820 --> 00:28:16.332
There's no.

00:28:16.332 --> 00:28:23.922
Like you go to pick up hockey at the rinks that I go to and it's and it's strone strone, strone with, with, with private lessons.

00:28:23.922 --> 00:28:25.574
Like there is no room for open hockey.

00:28:25.574 --> 00:28:28.181
It's just 18 instructors out there with three kids each.

00:28:28.181 --> 00:28:29.713
Your kids are playing open hockey.

00:28:29.713 --> 00:28:36.138
They're they're literally, it's structured, it's, it's paid open ice for structured play.

00:28:36.138 --> 00:28:37.000
That's what it is.

00:28:37.080 --> 00:28:38.304
It's not structured.

00:28:38.304 --> 00:28:41.097
I'll tell you something this might be refreshing to you.

00:28:41.097 --> 00:28:45.920
I'm volunteering this year to help my kids, both of them elementary school team.

00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:48.678
Okay, so this is like a new territory for me.

00:28:48.678 --> 00:28:57.521
I never played hockey from my school till I was in high school and I'd say half the team maybe a little less than half are really new to the game.

00:28:57.521 --> 00:29:00.452
They don't play club, you know, and it's funny.

00:29:00.452 --> 00:29:10.352
So we started practicing and you can see there's a clear skill disparity between the club kids and the non-club kids, right, right, and you know what we did.

00:29:10.352 --> 00:29:12.657
It was really refreshing.

00:29:12.657 --> 00:29:19.518
We split them in half and I worked with the beginner skaters and we just did, you know, very basic skating drills and teaching them to skate.

00:29:19.518 --> 00:29:36.390
And I'm finding a lot of joy in that of wow, I'm really helping these kids experience the game and remember elementary hockey is, in hockey terms, it's a low cost option, like it's not, it's not an arm and a leg to play for your school, like that's one of the nice things about school, at least in Pennsylvania, where I'm at Right.

00:29:36.390 --> 00:29:45.001
And it's refreshing because now the task is on us as coaches to get these kids moving and incorporate them into the team, and we're already preaching to the team.

00:29:45.001 --> 00:29:51.494
The importance because you can see how this will go south If we don't the importance of we're all on the same team and we got to take care of each other.

00:29:51.494 --> 00:30:00.881
So, whether you're an experienced skater and double A player which we have or you just finished learn to play, we got to take care of each other.

00:30:00.881 --> 00:30:07.655
And I'm excited about this opportunity, especially as a team builder, because now I get to, I get to finally teach this.

00:30:07.655 --> 00:30:14.412
Great players make everyone around them better, right, and also the players that are not really experienced.

00:30:14.412 --> 00:30:15.896
You're part of a team.

00:30:15.896 --> 00:30:17.615
You get to be here Now again.

00:30:17.615 --> 00:30:19.836
This is probably a rarity and it's again.

00:30:19.836 --> 00:30:21.970
This is also the realm that I work in and I love to do it.

00:30:21.970 --> 00:30:26.471
I don't think it happens that much, but I want to tell you that, because I'm seeing it right, that's a different.

00:30:26.471 --> 00:30:28.258
That's different from what we're seeing in club.

00:30:28.258 --> 00:30:30.971
Club is not that All right.

00:30:31.011 --> 00:30:33.194
So Well, good clubs are good clubs are.

00:30:33.194 --> 00:30:39.069
Good clubs are finding ways to get your your least talented player to feel like they're just as important as your most talented player.

00:30:39.895 --> 00:30:46.362
I agree, and that's the mission you and I are on, by the way, right, but most club teams are like okay, how, how before April, can I cut this kid?

00:30:46.362 --> 00:30:48.376
Like yeah, that's, that's scary.

00:30:48.612 --> 00:30:50.349
Like I picked them, but how can I cut them?

00:30:50.349 --> 00:30:51.092
Like I'm not.

00:30:51.092 --> 00:30:53.118
I'm not invested in making sure this kid's better.

00:30:53.118 --> 00:30:56.209
I'm invested in going to find somebody that somebody else made something.

00:30:56.530 --> 00:30:59.039
As someone who works with coaches, that terrifies me.

00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:04.863
And again, look, I have to say this there are scenarios where kids do need to be cut.

00:31:04.863 --> 00:31:07.069
Okay, it does happen.

00:31:07.069 --> 00:31:07.511
I'm not.

00:31:07.511 --> 00:31:12.832
I'm not negating that for coaches, but also as a coach, I need to know this is me Personally.

00:31:12.832 --> 00:31:14.196
You can disagree with me out there.

00:31:14.196 --> 00:31:21.900
I need to know that I did everything I could to reincorporate that that child and that family back into the team before cutting even crosses my mind.

00:31:21.900 --> 00:31:28.659
All right, I need to know that I've done everything I can think of, including speaking to the family about finding other options.

00:31:28.659 --> 00:31:32.279
If you're not willing to do that, I don't know what to say.

00:31:32.279 --> 00:31:33.970
All right, I'm going to say this one more time.

00:31:33.970 --> 00:31:41.359
There are scenarios where I, you know, a kid or a family are so out of line that you got to do what you got to do, All right.

00:31:41.613 --> 00:31:43.412
Or they're not invested in learning and they're just not.

00:31:43.412 --> 00:31:45.960
There's just a kid that maybe was a early bloomer.

00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:48.960
They probably did well when they were like mites and squirts and Peewees.

00:31:48.960 --> 00:31:56.529
And then it becomes a time we're like this person has no interest in getting not only not getting better, but has no investment in their own development.

00:31:56.589 --> 00:32:01.298
Hey, hey, here's one for you right, Life-maring hockey in a way or the other way around.

00:32:01.298 --> 00:32:09.862
I was a professor for a while so shocked to many of you and I had students at the end of the term saying, no, I paid for this.

00:32:09.862 --> 00:32:17.930
Like they're great, Like I paid for this, so I should get a passing grade and it's like I'm not passing me, I paid for the, they paid, that's what they were saying.

00:32:17.930 --> 00:32:20.779
And it's like man a, not how life works.

00:32:20.779 --> 00:32:22.074
B.

00:32:22.074 --> 00:32:28.377
You're not paying for a grade, you're paying for the time and the education of the instructors and the people that put the time in to make this course.

00:32:28.377 --> 00:32:30.676
That's what you're paying for, to be educated.

00:32:30.676 --> 00:32:36.898
And again, the audacity to say to someone that spent their time trying to teach you well, I paid for this.

00:32:36.898 --> 00:32:38.316
You're seeing that in the game?

00:32:38.316 --> 00:32:47.255
No, but I paid for this, I paid to play, I paid to be here, you paid for development, you paid for team building, you paid for part being part of a team.

00:32:47.255 --> 00:32:48.675
And again, this goes both ways.

00:32:48.675 --> 00:32:50.029
Parents think that way.

00:32:50.029 --> 00:32:52.136
Sometimes coaches think this way too.

00:32:52.136 --> 00:32:54.025
All right, and it's dangerous, right.

00:32:54.025 --> 00:32:54.634
So look, look.

00:32:54.634 --> 00:32:58.394
Getting back to the question that we were, we were sent because, again, we can go all over the place.

00:32:58.394 --> 00:33:04.276
One of the things he, tommy, said here was I find a lot of parents push very early because they're afraid of the kid getting behind.

00:33:04.276 --> 00:33:06.917
Now this is where I'm going to compliment my own wife.

00:33:06.917 --> 00:33:07.934
My wife is my anchor.

00:33:07.934 --> 00:33:11.576
I love my wife very much and she never played hockey.

00:33:11.576 --> 00:33:26.190
It was never in her life until she met me, and she really keeps me grounded and she reminded me, especially, especially the first few years, that like, this is a process and that you know at the time, like he's seven, he's eight, you have to understand that.

00:33:26.190 --> 00:33:26.711
I remember.

00:33:26.711 --> 00:33:28.278
Here's one for the crazy hockey parent.

00:33:28.278 --> 00:33:34.275
I remember really wondering a lot in the early years I can't tell if they love it or not, I can't tell if they love it or not, I don't know.

00:33:34.275 --> 00:33:36.029
And I would even ask him, like, are you enjoying this?

00:33:36.029 --> 00:33:36.933
Like almost too much.

00:33:36.933 --> 00:33:41.089
And my wife reminded me, like yo, give it some time, right.

00:33:41.089 --> 00:33:43.759
Like like it might take him up two or three years.

00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:44.991
And here's the.

00:33:44.991 --> 00:33:55.549
I should also say this they didn't hate it, they weren't saying I don't want to go, I don't want to go, right, but I did, I backed off and sure enough now that I've stopped asking that you know what they love it.

00:33:55.549 --> 00:33:59.984
So it's one of those things of Don't fear.

00:33:59.984 --> 00:34:01.650
This is kind of the crazy hockey mindset.

00:34:01.650 --> 00:34:07.102
Don't fear your kid, if he's enjoying it or not, they'll tell you.

00:34:07.102 --> 00:34:09.623
If they're not, number one, if they're not enjoying it, they'll let you know.

00:34:09.623 --> 00:34:11.264
All right, you gotta note that.

00:34:11.264 --> 00:34:12.121
All right.

00:34:12.121 --> 00:34:24.307
But I really I'm thankful for my wife because, yeah, leap, leap back off a little bit Like and you know what it was, mike at the end of the day I was fearful in a way that like, oh, it's gonna be really a shame if they don't love this.

00:34:24.307 --> 00:34:26.527
I've always been okay if they didn't wanna play.

00:34:26.527 --> 00:34:28.264
I'm speaking from the heart here.

00:34:28.264 --> 00:34:30.023
They came up to me and said I don't wanna do this anymore.

00:34:30.023 --> 00:34:32.405
That's gonna be okay with me.

00:34:32.405 --> 00:34:34.286
It might hurt a little bit, but that's fine.

00:34:34.286 --> 00:34:35.844
Like I've always had that mindset.

00:34:35.844 --> 00:34:38.164
But I didn't need to be like are you liking it?

00:34:38.164 --> 00:34:38.947
Is it fun?

00:34:38.947 --> 00:34:39.869
Do you wanna go back?

00:34:39.869 --> 00:34:41.827
Like I tell myself like Lee, shut up.

00:34:41.827 --> 00:34:43.465
Like this is just what we're doing.

00:34:43.465 --> 00:34:44.780
We're driving here two, three times a week.

00:34:45.021 --> 00:34:47.503
Yeah, and you just said in the early years, but I think your kids are like nine.

00:34:48.380 --> 00:34:50.507
Now they're 10 and seven, about to be 10 and seven.

00:34:50.507 --> 00:34:51.250
That's what I mean.

00:34:51.250 --> 00:34:51.702
So in the early years.

00:34:51.722 --> 00:34:52.545
It's still the early years.

00:34:52.545 --> 00:34:55.166
I mean, it's like you know this is I should say the very early years.

00:34:55.721 --> 00:34:56.744
It is early, that's a good point.

00:34:58.699 --> 00:35:02.945
I walk into people all the time, like at the supermarket, like, oh you know.

00:35:02.945 --> 00:35:03.929
So what does your kids do?

00:35:03.929 --> 00:35:04.550
What are they doing now?

00:35:04.550 --> 00:35:06.135
Like, oh you know, my guy's playing hockey.

00:35:06.135 --> 00:35:06.460
Blah, blah, blah.

00:35:06.460 --> 00:35:06.722
He goes.

00:35:06.722 --> 00:35:09.280
Oh you know, we always wish we would have done that.

00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:10.425
My son loves hockey.

00:35:10.425 --> 00:35:11.126
I wish he would have done that.

00:35:11.126 --> 00:35:13.307
I'm like, well, you know he, why didn't he?

00:35:13.559 --> 00:35:19.318
Well, he's already nine years old and you know it's just so hard to break into the I was 12 when I started it.

00:35:19.480 --> 00:35:20.726
It's so hard to break into the sport.

00:35:20.726 --> 00:35:21.992
But then I look at her going.

00:35:21.992 --> 00:35:23.563
You know what, if I looked around?

00:35:23.563 --> 00:35:31.472
It is hard to break into the sport when you're nine years old, because there's just no recreational like real hockey at nine.

00:35:31.472 --> 00:35:32.143
It just isn't.

00:35:32.143 --> 00:35:35.436
Maybe there are in pockets and I'd love to hear like from an audience perspective.

00:35:35.536 --> 00:35:37.485
Well, I had wrong, you are wrong, mike, you know.

00:35:37.485 --> 00:35:39.442
No, mike, and this has changed Now.

00:35:39.442 --> 00:35:49.384
This is a really interesting point, mike, because where I started very late I was 12, all right, and succeeded to be fair right Now, how is?

00:35:49.384 --> 00:35:55.664
I played street hockey and roller hockey for two or three years prior to really getting on the ice, and I love skating.

00:35:55.664 --> 00:35:56.905
It kind of all came together.

00:35:56.905 --> 00:36:04.739
I don't know how much street and roller hockey is being played in comparison to when I did it.

00:36:04.739 --> 00:36:08.067
Right, I know kids do go outside, but I mean that's all I did after school.

00:36:08.067 --> 00:36:15.146
There was no internet, there was no real stuff on TV, you know, at that time, like you didn't have a million channels.

00:36:15.146 --> 00:36:19.199
So like we went outside and played hockey and I happened to live on a street where a lot of us did that.

00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:24.103
But also at the time I was playing in the Philadelphia area, hockey was exploding so everybody wanted to do it.

00:36:24.103 --> 00:36:30.010
But that's how you break in, like you got to find a way to play somehow right.

00:36:30.010 --> 00:36:38.764
And again, this is to your point Like we don't invest enough in these street programs, the floorball programs, like these fun ways anyone can pick up a stick outside and just mess around.

00:36:38.764 --> 00:36:40.525
I don't think we're doing that enough.

00:36:40.860 --> 00:36:52.164
Yeah, but I'm even saying like the kid that now is playing hockey, right, and they say, well, you know what, I'm not on the A team, I'm not on the top team, and then the bottom team is eh, you know, I still got to go, like it's like.

00:36:52.164 --> 00:37:01.367
This is where I think crazy is defined in Utah Is, if you're 10 years old and you're on the AAA team, you made that team great.

00:37:01.367 --> 00:37:04.268
And they're listen, I've watched 10-year-old hockey games.

00:37:04.268 --> 00:37:05.411
They look like pros.

00:37:05.411 --> 00:37:06.784
I mean, they're unbelievable hockey.

00:37:06.804 --> 00:37:07.688
They're very talented.

00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:09.224
Just doing things that you're like.

00:37:09.224 --> 00:37:10.449
This is unbelievable.

00:37:10.449 --> 00:37:29.304
Then the problem is the second and third level kid player team is trying to do the same things that team's doing without and foregoing development, foregoing fun for fun, for foregoing the opportunity to bridge the gap.

00:37:29.304 --> 00:37:32.206
They don't do it, they keep doing what that team's already doing.

00:37:32.206 --> 00:37:44.128
Well, if you continue to do what that team's doing, which doesn't practice very often and doesn't, you know, isn't doing because already better, you need to do something completely different to get better.

00:37:44.128 --> 00:37:46.867
You can't just go play the same amount of games that don't practice.

00:37:46.867 --> 00:37:51.947
So I think what happens is that's where the craziness comes in Like, well, we want to play 60 games too.

00:37:51.947 --> 00:37:52.528
No, no, no.

00:37:52.528 --> 00:37:59.842
What you should be doing is actually playing 20 games and 60 practices and then making it so much fun that they want to, and they will.

00:37:59.842 --> 00:38:03.311
They will surpass that group, they will.

00:38:03.311 --> 00:38:07.364
It's just you've got to put them in the right environment to succeed.

00:38:07.364 --> 00:38:07.987
And we don't.

00:38:07.987 --> 00:38:08.882
We still.

00:38:08.882 --> 00:38:13.045
We want to make everybody the same and that happens.

00:38:13.045 --> 00:38:15.668
And you're that parent of the kid that's younger.

00:38:15.668 --> 00:38:20.869
Then you have to understand, or not you know, that's not as talented in that time frame.

00:38:20.869 --> 00:38:23.588
You need to understand that in order to bridge the gap.

00:38:23.588 --> 00:38:25.461
You need to do something different, and we don't.

00:38:26.559 --> 00:38:29.108
My guess it's unbelievably fantastic points.

00:38:29.108 --> 00:38:37.266
And you know, I think the other part of it just add on to that is that you got to teach kids how to learn and how to self-learn right.

00:38:37.266 --> 00:38:41.708
And if you're striving to be at a level you're not at yet, you're teaching them to fail right.

00:38:41.708 --> 00:38:50.050
So, and again, like just going back to the elementary school team, I am excited to help these beginner players on this team.

00:38:50.050 --> 00:38:51.043
Like I'm excited about it.

00:38:51.043 --> 00:38:54.643
I think a lot of people are like, oh, that AAA player, I want to work with him.

00:38:54.643 --> 00:38:59.003
I mean, look, I would all work with AAA players too, and there's some that I do, don't get me wrong.

00:38:59.003 --> 00:39:04.965
But I'm just as excited about the kid that doesn't even have to team Jersey yet because he's still in his learn to play Jersey.

00:39:04.965 --> 00:39:07.907
Like I just love sharing the game in that way.

00:39:07.907 --> 00:39:10.963
And again, I think that that has to expand from a coaching standpoint.

00:39:11.565 --> 00:39:14.367
But, yeah, if you've seen it for ever, right?

00:39:14.367 --> 00:39:19.864
It's easy to pick the most talented kids out of a pool and take them and play with them.

00:39:19.864 --> 00:39:23.909
It's hard to take the other kids and make them better.

00:39:23.909 --> 00:39:29.726
It's easy to take the best kids and say, well, they're the best kids, clearly the best kids, so take them.

00:39:29.726 --> 00:39:37.309
It's so much harder then to take the kids that need the best coaching and then develop them.

00:39:37.309 --> 00:39:44.644
And I think a lot of us, the best coaches sometimes are lazy because they don't want to be the best coaches, they just want to coach the best players.

00:39:44.905 --> 00:39:51.601
Right, and again I'll talk about our friends in Scandinavia, who they pay their best coaches to teach the beginners on purpose.

00:39:51.601 --> 00:39:54.306
It's a very different model over there.

00:39:54.306 --> 00:39:56.525
But yeah, I agree with you.

00:39:56.525 --> 00:40:01.784
Look, if you're the coach of a great team, a great triple, a high level team great, that's fantastic.

00:40:01.784 --> 00:40:18.925
But it shouldn't change how you coach and the evolution of a coach too, mike and I find this the older I get, when I was young I was very focused, got to coach the highest level possible, got to win the biggest tournaments possible when I was in my 20s, which I think is normal for a newer coach.

00:40:18.925 --> 00:40:28.184
Yeah, you want that, you're trying to prove yourself, but the older I get, the less it's about that and it's more about the people, the players, no matter what the age.

00:40:28.184 --> 00:40:44.306
Whether I am working with professional college kids all the way down to mites, I generally care about these people and as people, making them good people, and I think that from a parent standpoint, we can't lose sight of that either.

00:40:44.306 --> 00:40:50.190
I'm very focused on my kids being the best people they can be.

00:40:50.190 --> 00:40:52.545
In our family, we help other people.

00:40:52.545 --> 00:40:54.706
Let me give a proud dad moment.

00:40:54.706 --> 00:40:57.088
This is the forum to do that.

00:40:57.088 --> 00:41:05.788
So you'll laugh at this because this is also my evolution as a person, as a dad, I walked in the locker room between games yesterday.

00:41:05.788 --> 00:41:09.686
We had a showcase yesterday, one of those tournaments to see where you stand.

00:41:09.686 --> 00:41:11.806
It was parody tournament, not a showcase, excuse me.

00:41:11.806 --> 00:41:24.626
I walk in the locker room and there's my son with my whiteboard showing one of the new players all of these plays, and I just saw him.

00:41:24.626 --> 00:41:27.827
I was watching him and my first thing to do is to say something.

00:41:27.827 --> 00:41:28.489
And you know what I did.

00:41:28.489 --> 00:41:29.563
This is me learning.

00:41:29.563 --> 00:41:35.106
I just shut my mouth and I left the room and I was so proud of him.

00:41:35.106 --> 00:41:38.068
I'm like, wow, he's helping another person.

00:41:38.068 --> 00:41:45.771
That's what he's doing with his time off right now, and I'm not knocking any of the other kids at all that we're out playing Nothing.

00:41:45.771 --> 00:41:49.106
I was just very proud that that's how he chose to spend his time in that moment.

00:41:49.106 --> 00:41:52.809
To me, that means that, hey, we're doing something right.

00:41:52.809 --> 00:41:54.505
I got to say this one more time.

00:41:54.505 --> 00:41:56.628
That's not a judgment on any of the other kids.

00:41:56.628 --> 00:41:58.887
I hope nobody takes it that way, right.

00:41:59.760 --> 00:42:01.246
Your son probably has a little more confidence.

00:42:01.246 --> 00:42:05.969
He probably has a little more confidence to do it too, because he probably also watches me do it all the time yeah.

00:42:05.969 --> 00:42:08.768
He's almost like mirroring you.

00:42:08.768 --> 00:42:11.025
A lot of kids don't have that.

00:42:11.025 --> 00:42:16.188
They go home and dad's not writing on the whiteboard and watching video and talking hockey.

00:42:16.188 --> 00:42:21.447
And because my little guy does the same thing, like he'll draw plays on, coach them as a fun.

00:42:23.668 --> 00:42:24.199
Just on the iPad.

00:42:24.239 --> 00:42:24.963
He's like what do you think about?

00:42:24.983 --> 00:42:25.865
this After my own heart.

00:42:26.360 --> 00:42:27.545
I'm like that's actually a pretty good drill.

00:42:27.545 --> 00:42:28.067
That's pretty good.

00:42:28.067 --> 00:42:33.826
I've got 40-year-olds that can't do that, so I think it's like just thinking about well, I like to wear this guy's going.

00:42:33.826 --> 00:42:35.646
Who's going there and thinking the game?

00:42:35.646 --> 00:42:39.684
Now, he's not an elite hockey player at all, but he loves hockey.

00:42:39.684 --> 00:42:42.889
So am I going back to the premise, right?

00:42:42.889 --> 00:42:44.706
Am I a crazy hockey dad?

00:42:44.706 --> 00:42:56.728
Yes, by definition I'm crazy about hockey and I'm in the sport and I'm in the throws of what this all is.

00:42:56.728 --> 00:43:00.869
But there's certain things I wouldn't sacrifice.

00:43:00.869 --> 00:43:08.766
For a game or a practice or a training session I wouldn't Do.

00:43:08.766 --> 00:43:16.250
I bend my own feeling about like they could miss school for a half a day on a Friday.

00:43:16.250 --> 00:43:22.588
Or, oh, if you want to sleep in a little bit after a late practice, I'll drive in the school.

00:43:22.588 --> 00:43:23.563
Like, do I do that stuff?

00:43:24.179 --> 00:43:25.164
Yes, I do.

00:43:25.164 --> 00:43:26.585
I don't think that makes it crazy, though.

00:43:28.603 --> 00:43:36.987
Well, for people outside the sport, it does make you crazy, and I think that's why this parent sees it as when we're in our little bubble of hockey.

00:43:36.987 --> 00:43:39.987
We all look at each other like no, we're all normal.

00:43:40.360 --> 00:43:41.123
Yeah, we're not, we're not.

00:43:42.521 --> 00:43:46.791
And I think it's not a normal thing to miss events.

00:43:46.791 --> 00:44:05.668
I don't mean big, big events, I don't mean grandma's 98th birthday, I mean you miss a school dance so you miss the Harvest Festival, or you miss for hockey, like just a lot of people, like they don't have all those other things going on, like they don't have all this other stuff.

00:44:05.668 --> 00:44:09.710
Hockey fills a vacuum of time.

00:44:10.101 --> 00:44:11.009
It does yeah.

00:44:11.260 --> 00:44:15.030
And people that have time because they don't do a sport like hockey.

00:44:15.030 --> 00:44:17.326
Don't understand how you don't have time.

00:44:17.927 --> 00:44:18.088
Right.

00:44:18.088 --> 00:44:30.250
Well, I'll tell you this, though Within, that the other side of that is the hockey community that we're all part of, which, as you know and you've said many times, is a wonderful community to be a part of when you find the right people and we all understand each other.

00:44:30.250 --> 00:44:45.068
I think when it becomes a problem is when anyone this is crazy, right, if you take an elitist approach of oh well, we play hockey, that, like Mike, you're speaking a lot of sense right now Like other people outside the game don't see this, they don't understand this.

00:44:45.068 --> 00:44:50.186
There are some other sports that are somewhat similar and they'll say the same thing like, oh, you don't understand.

00:44:50.186 --> 00:44:51.985
Well, yeah, you don't understand what you don't do.

00:44:51.985 --> 00:45:02.733
But I think when you might look down on other families or kind of, have that, no, we have hockey that's when you're going crazy.

00:45:03.039 --> 00:45:06.731
But like my wife you know she was at an event with non-hockey parents.

00:45:06.731 --> 00:45:07.878
They're like wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:45:07.878 --> 00:45:12.090
So you're telling me your kid graduates high school, doesn't go to college.

00:45:12.090 --> 00:45:26.726
If he wants to be a college hockey player, then we'll play two to three years of junior hockey and not go to school, and then after that they might not even go to a school that has hockey and then start their college education, depending on if it's three years.

00:45:26.726 --> 00:45:30.186
Those gap years got them an opportunity to play.

00:45:30.186 --> 00:45:32.646
Well, OK, I'm going to disagree with you.

00:45:33.380 --> 00:45:37.262
Because I actually think this is the one of the things that's good, and I'll tell you why.

00:45:37.262 --> 00:45:45.286
All right, Because I think crazy is society stating nowadays you have to go to college after your senior year.

00:45:45.286 --> 00:45:48.804
I think that's crazy If a kid is not ready.

00:45:48.804 --> 00:45:53.605
Look, this is how I say it and again, I'm speaking as a former professor here and I am qualifying this.

00:45:53.605 --> 00:46:07.764
Ok, If you know what you want to study or you have an idea of what you want to study, college is probably a good option, With your kid understanding that if they go to college and hate what they're studying even if they thought that's what they wanted to do it's OK to change it.

00:46:07.764 --> 00:46:10.280
It's always OK to change a major to find what you want to do.

00:46:10.280 --> 00:46:11.485
You're going to be doing this most of your life.

00:46:11.485 --> 00:46:12.724
You should find the right thing.

00:46:12.724 --> 00:46:28.688
If your kid has no clue what they want to do after high school, you should reassess and think you do not have to go spend money ridiculous money, Just like hockey to go to college to get your liberal arts degree or your prerequisites out of the way.

00:46:28.688 --> 00:46:31.422
Maybe they should go work for a year.

00:46:31.422 --> 00:46:34.639
Maybe they should go Again that wasn't really that.

00:46:34.659 --> 00:46:40.224
This my point was if it was it just hockey, if it's only you're only staying at a school Because of hockey and you're able to go.

00:46:40.224 --> 00:46:41.771
You know exactly what you want to be.

00:46:41.771 --> 00:46:42.474
You want to be an engineer.

00:46:42.474 --> 00:46:50.806
I know exactly what I want to do and but the only way I'm gonna go be an engineer At the school I want to go to is if I can play hockey.

00:46:50.806 --> 00:46:55.047
Okay, well then don't, you can't, but you can't spend three years and then not go to a school.

00:46:55.047 --> 00:47:03.788
And then you end up going to a school that doesn't have engineering, because hockey was your vehicle to do it, and then you graduate.

00:47:03.788 --> 00:47:11.460
Like you know, I really wanted to be an engineer, but I spent four years playing and this is where parents play into it like Guide your kid the right way.

00:47:11.460 --> 00:47:14.360
I mean that's another episode, but we'll have to, I think.

00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:18.483
But I think it's just a matter of saying you know where.

00:47:18.483 --> 00:47:21.949
So you know where is the evolution of the crazy hockey parent?

00:47:21.949 --> 00:47:22.572
Does it, does it?

00:47:22.572 --> 00:47:24.157
Is it at nine, is it at 12?

00:47:24.157 --> 00:47:25.019
Is it at 18?

00:47:25.019 --> 00:47:25.902
Is it at 21?

00:47:25.902 --> 00:47:27.226
You know, and you're still.

00:47:27.226 --> 00:47:31.041
You know I'm, you know I'm gonna push, push, push, push, push.

00:47:31.041 --> 00:47:31.905
And you know, get.

00:47:31.905 --> 00:47:48.235
I think, listen, I've been in those situations a lot right there, I'm not that I have their self-reflect and then really make an impact and say to any, even the athletes that I Advise or work with like, are we Like, where is the line here?

00:47:48.235 --> 00:47:58.085
And what can we discuss to make sure that you know you make this the decision that's best for you as a student athlete, and and it can't be just about mom and dad.

00:47:58.085 --> 00:48:07.164
And and that's a hard, hard discussion because at the end of the day, the kids know what mom and dad want, so they're there.

00:48:07.164 --> 00:48:08.867
It's very hard for them to go against.

00:48:08.867 --> 00:48:12.623
Through what they think their parents want them to think.

00:48:13.364 --> 00:48:18.838
I get that so, mike, I'm gonna, I'm gonna Turn in a journalist for a second.

00:48:18.838 --> 00:48:23.027
I'm gonna probably end the episode on this line of questioning towards you.

00:48:23.027 --> 00:48:25.646
Okay, because you're making, you're making me realize a few things.

00:48:25.646 --> 00:48:27.894
You started the episode by saying I am a crazy hockey parent.

00:48:27.894 --> 00:48:37.492
I am a crazy hockey parent and I'm realizing something I don't think you are, and I'm gonna prove it All right, one cuz I refuse to think that I'm doing a show with a crazy hockey.

00:48:37.492 --> 00:48:41.867
No, no, I think the hockey environment is crazy.

00:48:41.867 --> 00:48:44.422
That doesn't make you crazy.

00:48:44.422 --> 00:48:44.643
Now.

00:48:44.643 --> 00:48:59.728
I think a crazy hockey parent is Someone who exists in that crazy hockey atmosphere and has completely lost touch With why they're here, and what I mean by losing touch is making it is all that matters.

00:48:59.728 --> 00:49:03.248
We're doing everything I can to help my kid make it.

00:49:03.248 --> 00:49:04.695
However, you justify that thought.

00:49:04.695 --> 00:49:06.858
I think that makes you crazy.

00:49:06.858 --> 00:49:17.226
If, if you're not in touch with your kid now, mike, for your own reasoning and again I have, this is the journalist, it's you say you're a crazy hockey parent, so why do you do it?

00:49:17.226 --> 00:49:22.922
Now, before you answer that, I've been writing down some of the language you've been using to describe yourself.

00:49:22.922 --> 00:49:23.925
Again, I'm a journalist.

00:49:23.925 --> 00:49:27.244
All right, you have said things like I self reflect a lot.

00:49:27.244 --> 00:49:29.079
You know, I'm conscious.

00:49:29.079 --> 00:49:30.342
I think about this a lot.

00:49:30.342 --> 00:49:33.661
Every once in a while I have to stop and think about why am I doing this?

00:49:33.661 --> 00:49:42.461
That line of thinking I mean you host a show about this, all right that line of thinking Leads me to believe you're not a crazy hockey parent.

00:49:42.461 --> 00:49:48.905
You're just navigating the crazy hockey environment All right, because you know it's easy to say well, you could choose to stop whenever you want.

00:49:48.905 --> 00:49:49.376
No, you can't.

00:49:49.376 --> 00:49:52.737
Your kids love it, the kids love it, right.

00:49:52.737 --> 00:49:58.775
I don't think a lot of people are conscious or self reflect, like you just said.

00:49:58.775 --> 00:50:05.059
I think you're busy in your day-to-day life and I'm not I'm not judging anybody with this, so there's actually a lot of curiosity here.

00:50:05.059 --> 00:50:06.222
You're very busy.

00:50:06.222 --> 00:50:13.514
You probably don't take too much time on yourself, right, in terms of just relaxing or taking a moment for yourself, and you don't self reflect.

00:50:13.514 --> 00:50:16.625
It's very easy to fall into a trap.

00:50:16.625 --> 00:50:20.224
It's insanely easy to fall into this trap.

00:50:20.224 --> 00:50:27.768
We're making it, or pushing or, or spending a lot of money and doing everything crazy, so your kid will quote, unquote make it.

00:50:27.768 --> 00:50:29.884
You could fall in that really easily.

00:50:29.884 --> 00:50:31.610
And, mike, I don't think you're in that trap.

00:50:31.610 --> 00:50:38.065
Okay, I think you're navigating the crazy hockey environment, but why do you think you're crazy?

00:50:38.065 --> 00:50:40.355
And if you still think you're crazy after I said all that, how do you stop?

00:50:40.615 --> 00:50:47.038
I was late for a game the other day and I literally went through a red light on purpose, got pulled over.

00:50:47.338 --> 00:50:49.425
That's just the New York in you, man, and tried to just.

00:50:50.715 --> 00:50:55.170
Try to justify to the police officer who is screaming at me across the intersection.

00:50:55.550 --> 00:50:56.614
Yeah, what the hell are you doing?

00:50:56.996 --> 00:51:02.318
I'm like, listen, I Thought I could beat the light, I'm really late.

00:51:02.318 --> 00:51:03.985
I said now I'm even later.

00:51:03.985 --> 00:51:05.844
You know, it didn't give me a ticket.

00:51:05.844 --> 00:51:07.474
Thank you, connecticut State Police.

00:51:07.675 --> 00:51:10.264
But I think it's like you a ticket for running a red light.

00:51:11.836 --> 00:51:16.139
Now I talked my way out of it, but I think it's like let's have a very clean driving record.

00:51:16.139 --> 00:51:17.384
Thank you, you can sit right away.

00:51:17.384 --> 00:51:17.945
I did they know.

00:51:17.945 --> 00:51:23.135
And I put my hands on and so yes, by death.

00:51:23.135 --> 00:51:28.557
So yeah, like a sane person would say man, just wait for the light, there's no reason, there's no reason.

00:51:28.577 --> 00:51:31.612
that's not limited to hockey, dude, like people do that all the time.

00:51:31.773 --> 00:51:33.159
I'm just using that, I just like.

00:51:33.159 --> 00:51:33.981
I said it wasn't.

00:51:34.041 --> 00:51:37.275
It wasn't that big a deal and these coaches are more on when they do, and I would have Be.

00:51:37.315 --> 00:51:37.697
I would have beat.

00:51:37.697 --> 00:51:38.699
I would have beat that anyway.

00:51:38.699 --> 00:51:39.702
I would have beat that in court.

00:51:39.702 --> 00:51:41.746
But I think it's like so.

00:51:41.746 --> 00:51:45.119
So I think Again, I don't.

00:51:45.119 --> 00:51:48.271
I don't think I I am crazy about hockey.

00:51:48.271 --> 00:51:50.581
I do love hockey, I sport, I am too like.

00:51:50.581 --> 00:51:56.724
I like all the aspects of the sport, I like the, I like the competition, I like, I love it life less in love with the game.

00:51:56.724 --> 00:52:01.298
Yeah, I love, I like all that and I do and I love sport, by the way, I mean, I like anything.

00:52:01.298 --> 00:52:19.333
Like if you could put me in a tennis environment, in a, in a, you know, not so much golf and I like golf, but if you put me in those environments that I can have success and teach and be taught and Compete and win and lose and cry and and and embrace your teammates, that's of I love.

00:52:19.333 --> 00:52:19.795
I love that.

00:52:19.795 --> 00:52:20.237
I love.

00:52:20.237 --> 00:52:23.014
I love watching players struggle and then succeed.

00:52:23.014 --> 00:52:27.847
I love watching players feel like their coach hates them and then knows that their coach loves them.

00:52:27.847 --> 00:52:36.425
I, you know, I love those aspects I love about the sport and I'm crazy about being a part of that, right, um, and, but I think it's.

00:52:36.425 --> 00:52:38.474
I think to the point where I look at parents.

00:52:38.474 --> 00:52:40.438
I'm like, like, what?

00:52:40.438 --> 00:52:41.601
Like are you really?

00:52:41.601 --> 00:52:43.608
Like, are you really sacrificing?

00:52:43.608 --> 00:52:56.228
Like, are you really gonna send your, your, your, your ninth grader to a place that only does hockey all day, all night and that's all they like and that's all they're part of?

00:52:56.228 --> 00:52:58.416
Like they have no other aspect of their life, like they're.

00:52:58.416 --> 00:53:16.199
Like you're gonna bank on the back then for four years You're gonna produce a multi-million dollar contract for this kid, like because that's how people think and that they say they don't think that way, then why you're doing it like there's no other reason to do it like so that's where I know I'm not crazy.

00:53:16.199 --> 00:53:20.728
Do I think I'm giving my kids the best opportunity for success?

00:53:20.728 --> 00:53:25.021
I do, but do other people in our world think that's the way to go?

00:53:25.021 --> 00:53:31.440
No, they think it's a different way and I'm like well, you've never been around 5,000 athletes like I have.

00:53:31.440 --> 00:53:35.532
Like you haven't seen where kids are in this age group and where they become.

00:53:35.532 --> 00:53:35.952
You haven't.

00:53:35.952 --> 00:53:43.648
You haven't experienced the superstar eight, nine and ten year old that is never playing hockey at 14 years old like you.

00:53:43.648 --> 00:53:47.007
But and I don't blame you for that, I'm just trying to help you with this.

00:53:47.007 --> 00:53:59.695
Um, I, going back to the tooth right, I'm trying to help you by not making the same mistakes and doing the same things and navigating the sport in a little different way.

00:53:59.695 --> 00:54:15.706
If I navigate the sport in a different way when I was 20 years old, I would have known that well, all the stuff I'm doing right now doesn't really matter and it's going to affect me when I'm older If I play with a broken wrist when I'm 14 years old and play through the pain that's going to affect me when I'm 45.

00:54:15.706 --> 00:54:27.443
I'm not going to be able to move my wrist if I'm playing on a bad groin and I push through it because I'm on an elite hockey team and my team really needs me at nine I'm like they don't need you.

00:54:27.443 --> 00:54:28.650
They don't really need you.

00:54:28.650 --> 00:54:31.219
You need to heal, you need to get better.

00:54:31.219 --> 00:54:35.735
The same thing when you hear parents say, well, to be the best, you've got to play the best.

00:54:35.735 --> 00:54:37.561
Well, not if you never touch the puck.

00:54:37.561 --> 00:54:39.527
If you never touch the puck, you can't get better.

00:54:40.050 --> 00:54:41.958
That's playing the best you should aspire to get there.

00:54:41.958 --> 00:54:42.722
But yes, you're right.

00:54:42.961 --> 00:54:43.605
Right, but you can't.

00:54:43.605 --> 00:54:45.623
But let's say then you've got to close the gap.

00:54:45.623 --> 00:54:50.403
You can't play the best to be the best If you don't get to participate in being the best.

00:54:50.755 --> 00:54:50.936
Now.

00:54:51.237 --> 00:54:57.605
I could play the medium, if I'm the low, and at least compete and then learn to beat them and then move up the ladder.

00:54:57.605 --> 00:55:02.865
So there's all kinds of aspects of what the crazy hockey parent is, but I think ultimately it becomes.

00:55:02.865 --> 00:55:10.938
If you're going to sacrifice you know, your kid's health, their well-being, their time, their love.

00:55:10.938 --> 00:55:15.735
If you're going to sacrifice all those things, then yes, you have gone to the realm of crazy hockey parent.

00:55:15.735 --> 00:55:33.023
If you're crazy about hockey and you're giving your kids the best opportunity in the sport that you love and clearly they love, then you're just being a great parent, and the extremes of that are only there because the sport has now evolved to make us be in those extremes.

00:55:33.023 --> 00:55:53.146
It evolves a hard word, by the way when you have big gap in your mouth, but I think it's really important for the parents that are in the same boat to support each other and fight not to go down that route.

00:55:53.146 --> 00:55:59.644
You know, be united in your craziness, but then nowhere to put the cork in it.

00:56:00.759 --> 00:56:01.402
Mike, two things.

00:56:01.402 --> 00:56:09.735
One is I think I successfully meagied you into proving you're not a crazy hockey parent just there, because you gave a really good justification with that tooth miss.

00:56:09.735 --> 00:56:11.340
And so, number one, great job.

00:56:11.340 --> 00:56:12.704
I wrote down this note.

00:56:12.704 --> 00:56:16.139
We'll kind of end on this, right, I wrote it takes a village.

00:56:16.139 --> 00:56:20.644
Right, and I think we're losing sight of that, not just in hockey.

00:56:20.644 --> 00:56:22.019
I think that's a societal problem.

00:56:22.019 --> 00:56:31.523
You know, keeping my kind of book and going in with the college thing, going to university in the past, the far past, wasn't about getting a piece of paper with your name on it.

00:56:31.523 --> 00:56:35.003
It was about furthering a science or an art.

00:56:35.003 --> 00:56:40.045
Right, you went to college to further the study of something, to be part of something that was going to evolve.

00:56:40.045 --> 00:56:42.679
Right, it takes a village.

00:56:42.679 --> 00:56:52.708
You know you and I approached the game and many of you listening by the way we approached the game of let's take this village and evolve these kids to be better versions of themselves.

00:56:52.708 --> 00:56:57.885
As Mike said, if you lose in sight of that at any point, you're crazy.

00:56:57.885 --> 00:56:59.617
You're crazy Like you're literally crazy.

00:56:59.617 --> 00:57:00.000
Right?

00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:09.248
One of the things we've uncovered in this episode that there is a huge difference between being a crazy hockey parents and understanding you're in a crazy sports environment.

00:57:09.248 --> 00:57:12.023
The hockey environment is crazy.

00:57:12.023 --> 00:57:18.385
What we do in this environment is insane when you compare it to other other sports, other activities.

00:57:18.385 --> 00:57:21.960
Right, you don't hear about the crazy band environment.

00:57:21.960 --> 00:57:23.081
You know where.

00:57:23.081 --> 00:57:25.166
We travel all over the country to do concerts.

00:57:25.166 --> 00:57:26.778
You know it doesn't happen.

00:57:26.778 --> 00:57:28.722
Obviously, correct me if.

00:57:29.385 --> 00:57:29.606
I'm wrong.

00:57:29.606 --> 00:57:36.384
Out there you are wrong, but again, because I was with a crazy hockey mom, crazy band mom.

00:57:37.505 --> 00:57:38.005
So there you go.

00:57:38.005 --> 00:57:39.507
It's not just limited to hockey, wow.

00:57:39.527 --> 00:57:40.048
No, but it's any.

00:57:40.735 --> 00:57:40.976
No to self.

00:57:40.976 --> 00:57:42.460
Do not let kid get in the band.

00:57:42.460 --> 00:57:43.463
I'm just going to.

00:57:43.976 --> 00:58:00.063
It's, it's, it's, it's any extreme, it's any point where you're like this is the ticket and I'm and you're eight, yeah, like this is the ticket, like, yes, if you're the best 16 year old, maybe going to Europe and playing for two years is the best thing.

00:58:00.063 --> 00:58:04.085
Maybe leaving your family and moving to the BCHL is the best thing.

00:58:04.085 --> 00:58:12.329
You know, if you're kind of a dart, maybe, there, you know you, it's clearly out there that you're the best player in your group, yeah, but it's what about all the kid?

00:58:12.329 --> 00:58:22.146
There's all these other kids stuck in here and you think that the kid that's the third line player on your subpar team is the one not getting the shot.

00:58:22.146 --> 00:58:27.403
Come on, I mean just the coaches want you, to your kids, to succeed.

00:58:27.403 --> 00:58:30.735
Hockey programs want the best kids to move on and take credit for them.

00:58:30.735 --> 00:58:34.735
You don't think that they're going to try to find you the best environment to be successful.

00:58:34.735 --> 00:58:37.288
Again, are there outliers, and we're not talking to the.

00:58:37.288 --> 00:58:38.735
You know there are outliers.

00:58:38.735 --> 00:58:50.110
There are kids that you know that can do that, that do everything they can to be a hockey player, to be a great band person, to be the best cellist, to be the best chess player.

00:58:50.110 --> 00:58:53.378
And there are extremes, no doubt about it.

00:58:53.378 --> 00:58:59.568
But I think overall and you have to do this as your own, your parent you got to look at and say, ok, well, there's my kid.

00:58:59.568 --> 00:59:01.329
Really, really, is he gifted?

00:59:01.329 --> 00:59:03.079
And he's, is he?

00:59:03.079 --> 00:59:04.384
Is he self motivated?

00:59:04.384 --> 00:59:10.443
It's like am I, am I waking up in the morning and the kid is, you know, out in the driveway shooting pucks on his own.

00:59:10.443 --> 00:59:11.585
Is you know?

00:59:11.585 --> 00:59:12.166
Are they doing?

00:59:12.166 --> 00:59:14.088
Are they studying the game on their own?

00:59:14.088 --> 00:59:14.916
Are they?

00:59:14.916 --> 00:59:17.503
Are they begging to go to here and there and there?

00:59:17.503 --> 00:59:20.744
You're the one begging them for the most part.

00:59:22.016 --> 00:59:24.597
It's crazy, that's crazy.

00:59:24.597 --> 00:59:27.735
This has been a really fantastic discussion.

00:59:27.735 --> 00:59:29.942
I'm sure those of you listening have thoughts on this.

00:59:29.942 --> 00:59:36.708
Please email us team at ourkidsplayhockeycom or comment on our Facebook page our kids by hockey.

00:59:36.708 --> 00:59:40.695
You know, to our audience I always say you know, all the episodes are available.

00:59:40.695 --> 00:59:43.463
I'm not going to say that because you guys listen to all the episodes.

00:59:43.463 --> 00:59:56.543
What I am going to ask you to do today is share this episode, or share any episode you want, with your team, with your friends, share it with people that need to hear it and, if you have the guts, share this episode with a crazy hockey parent.

00:59:56.543 --> 01:00:00.715
Maybe try and do it anonymously, but but share it because that helps our audience grow.

01:00:00.715 --> 01:00:03.684
You are the greatest audience I've ever worked with.

01:00:03.684 --> 01:00:23.735
I am so blown away by the support and the sharing of stories and I think just the simple fact, mike, that you know, you realize, wow, I'm not alone on this journey, like a lot of other people and a lot of those families are going through this and we're so thankful to have had the opportunity to continue to share those stories with you and create this community, which grows every single day.

01:00:23.735 --> 01:00:26.222
So thank you all again.

01:00:26.222 --> 01:00:28.639
Share the episode For Mike.

01:00:28.639 --> 01:00:29.059
I'm Lee.

01:00:29.059 --> 01:00:30.405
This has been our kids play hockey.

01:00:30.405 --> 01:00:32.333
You guys have a great week and we'll see you at the rink.

01:00:32.333 --> 01:00:32.735
Take care, everybody.

01:00:32.735 --> 01:00:36.480
We hope you enjoyed this edition of our kids play hockey.

01:00:36.480 --> 01:00:45.650
Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value, wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network or our website, ourkidsplayhockeycom.

01:00:45.650 --> 01:00:50.666
Also, make sure to check out our children's book when Hockey Stops at whenhockeystopscom.

01:00:50.666 --> 01:00:55.273
It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life.

01:00:55.273 --> 01:00:55.735
We're very proud of it.

01:00:55.735 --> 01:01:00.784
But thanks so much for listening to this edition of our kids play hockey and we'll see you on the next episode.