The Ride To The Rink - More Than a Hockey Player: Taylor Heise & Hayley Scamurra on Identity and Balance

Lee MJ Elias [0:00 - 0:52]: Hello skaters and goalies around the world. And welcome back to another edition of the Ride to the Rink. It's Lee with Haley, who is a PWHL player. It's also Lee with Taylor, who is a PWHL player and a champion and an Olympian, both of them. Today, I have these two ladies here. We're going to talk about identity, right? If you're listening to this show, you love hockey. You love it. There's no way you're listening to this show if you don't love hockey. But something we discussed on our big episode this week is that you kids are always going to be more than just a hockey player. And it's so important that you understand, whether you're on the way to the rink right now, on the way home, or doing something else, that you're more than just a hockey player. I'm going to throw it to Taylor to talk a little bit more about what we mean by that. Go ahead, Taylor. 

Taylor Heise [0:52 - 2:52]: Yeah, it's the structure of how you live your life. It's. You know, I play hockey, and I really do a lot when it comes to that, whether that be working out, skating, I do that, but it's not who I am. When you take hockey away, and I always say, like, later in life, when I'm not gonna be able to play anymore, like, when you take that away, who are you? And for me, that's, you know, I'm a sister. I have two brothers that play competitive basketball in college. And I go when I see them, and when I'm there, I'm not. I'm not Taylor Heise the hockey player. I'm Taylor Heise the sister. And then you go into. When I stress, When I'm stressed, either that's hockey or life. And everyone has stress, even kids. I know. I bake and I like to cook. And I find recipes that, you know, are exciting and they're fun to make and they're healthy and they're, you know, they're all these things that get me going. And, like, when I wake up in the morning, I'm thinking, oh, I get to have that for dinner after I work. Work out, workout, workout three or four times that day. Like, just doing all that. Like, it's fun to do that. I used to love to juggle. I still do juggle, but I'm not as proficient at it as I was. There's just so many things. Like, I love to draw. I love to paint. I do love to online shop as well. That is another thing I do like to do. But more so there's just. You're more than just a hockey player. And when you take that away, who are you? And that's sometimes a harsh reality. Like when you take it away and you're like, oh, I do hockey. And that's kind of it. And I think sometimes when you do that, you got to realize what other hobbies you have, because in your free time, which you might not have a ton, you might have more than the normal person. It's so fun to find things that you're proficient at and things that, even for me, I do love when I find something that I'm not good at, because I know for a fact I'm going to become good at that I'm going to find it. Whether that be basketball. I just started pickleball. That's something I'm really loving right now. And it's so fun to play the game because it's so different from hockey. But it's something I'm not great at, but I'm going to be better at it. So I think being a hockey player is super important. But being a better person and being a better human and being, you know, someone that is passionate about other things other than just the sport makes talking to people and makes doing things way easier. 

Lee MJ Elias [2:53 - 3:03]: Hallie, what are some of the ways that you also identify, aside from being a hockey player? Again, kids, we're talking to two pro hockey players here, telling you that they're more than just pro hockey players. That's pretty good stuff. 

Hayley Scamurra [3:04 - 4:02]: Yeah, it's something that I've had to learn. Like, now I'm 30 years old, and it's like, what else do I do? What else do I enjoy doing? Like, for me, I love sitting down, doing a puzzle. I haven't done a puzzle in a really long time, and I'm itching to do one, but not settled in yet. So I'll get to that eventually. But I mean, for me, I also, like, similar to Heisey, like, I'm big on family, so it's like I'm a sister, I'm an aunt, I'm a daughter, like, all those things. So it's like, when I have that downtime and I'm near family, I'm going to be hanging out with my family, doing probably nothing, enjoying being outside with them, enjoying, like, downtime with them. I just love being, like, outside and exploring new places, going to, like, fun coffee shops, like, just little things. It can just be a little thing that's different from hockey. And you're not. Haley, the Hockey player. Taylor the hockey player. Like, it's nice to not always be identified like that, because conversations do kind of end up being surrounded about hockey. So you do have to kind of remind yourself a lot, like, okay, I am more than this. 

Lee MJ Elias [4:02 - 5:24]: Yeah. What I love about both your answers, too, is that, look, everyone here is obsessed with hockey. Right? I mean, that's a fair statement to say, but you also have to separate from. From that obsession every once in a while, or it will go into madness. Right? And that. That's why it's so important to have not just hobbies, but the understanding, as you both said, of, I am a daughter. Or in my case, I am a father. I am a son. You know, I was gonna say, Haley, I remember being. I was 30 once for a whole year. That was a while ago. And so, kids, now I know you're in the car going, that was cringe, man. But, like, I'm a dad. This is my role. This is my identity. Last thing I want to bring up, too. And, kids, look, I know you're probably listening to this with your parents. Parents, you play a role in this as well. Right. And I know that when you're driving everywhere and paying for everything and you're doing all these things, we can get lost in this, too, as parents of, like, oh, that's all I'm doing, and you better perform. We have a responsibility to you kids to make sure that you also know that we feel this way as well. Right. When I look at both of my kids, if only my kids. And look, kids, I love hockey. I. It's my life. But if my kids grow up thinking, oh, dad wants me to be a hockey player, I really failed as a dad. All right, Because. Because there's so much more. Do you have advice for parents who are listening to the ride of the rink, of how they can reinforce this message? 

Taylor Heise [5:25 - 7:11]: Yeah. I think that message is, like, this is going to be very broad because I. Obviously, I'm not a parent. I've never been a parent. I don't know exactly how to go about that. But from what I've learned from my own parents, and understanding what is important to them is also important to me is you. And being a student of the game is important, but also being a student of life, like, life is gonna give you lemons, and sometimes it doesn't make lemonade. Like, it just is what it is. And, you know, being in the car and having, for me, specific expectations. Because I think when you're a kid, you know, life is your oyster. You can do whatever you want. And I think as a parent, you sometimes want them to be so good at something or do this really, really well. But life, like, you need to be good at a lot of different things. So for me, the expectation from my parents in the car, like, are you excited to be here? That's one. I had a friend whose parents would only bring her to hockey if she asked them and said she was excited to go. And I think that's the craziest thing, and that is Izzy, Daniel, Haley. So, like, someone that we both know. Yes. And her dad would always say, like, she didn't want to always be there as a kid. And her dad would always say, I'm not gonna waste my time and bring you to something that you don't want to be at. So I say if you're. Obviously, your kid knows at a very young age if they want to be good at something, and if they want to do it and they want to do it well, they'll do it that way. But it's the expectation of, we're driving this far, we're going to be there for this long. And I. And I want to watch you be who you are and how you want to be. But I do expect there to be a really good attitude, you to be great to your teammates and you to work hard. You don't have to be the best one out there. You don't. And that's my biggest message to parents is you just got to set an expectation and make sure the kids understand that you will love them regardless they score five goals, you're going to love them the same. If they get scored on twice. It's the expectation of the kids knowing exactly what kind of you expect from it. 

Lee MJ Elias [7:12 - 7:39]: Taylor, It's a great message. You know, one of our. Still one of our most popular episodes are what should I say to my kid before a game? And it's what you just said. I love you no matter what happens. And then the other powerful one was, you know, I love to watch you play. Right. Kids don't assume our parents. Parents, sorry, don't assume your kids think that. Right. It's. It's very comforting to hear that. And obviously, the last thing is, you know, do your best. Right. Skate hard. Have fun. Haley, any final thoughts before I close this one out? 

Hayley Scamurra [7:39 - 7:53]: No, I thought that was perfect. I totally agree with everything Heise said. And our parents can be very impactful in how we show up to the rink and just little things that they say. So just a simple message of, like, we love you. No matter what can mean the world. 

Lee MJ Elias [7:54 - 8:18]: That's awesome. And kids, I'm going to tell you listening, I'm feeling pretty special sitting with two PWHL superstars right now. I hope you feel pretty special listening to them on the ride to the rink. Kids, remember, listen, you can always email us or text us any questions you have. Our guests love to talk about them. But just remember, above all, kids, no matter where you're at on your hockey journey, we believe in you. Okay? You should, too. For Haley. For Taylor, I'm Lee. We'll see you on the next ride to the rink. Everybody take care. 

Taylor Heise [8:26 - 8:26]: Of.