April 4, 2024

The Ride To The Rink - Parents and Players Should Talk Before Youth Hockey Tryouts

Show Notes
Transcript

On this week's episode of "The Ride To The Rink," Lee dives into an often-overlooked aspect of hockey tryouts and evaluations: the mental and emotional journey that players and their parents experience. While the physical challenges of tryouts are widely acknowledged, the psychological pressures accompanying them can significantly impact performance and well-being.

Episode Highlights:

Understanding Anxiety in Tryouts: Lee shares insights into the common anxieties faced by both players and parents during the evaluation period. Recognizing that nerves are a natural response because it means you care deeply about the outcome is a crucial step toward managing them.
The Importance of Open Communication: Emphasizing the value of discussing feelings of nervousness or anxiety, Lee suggests that open conversations between parents and children can alleviate stress and build a supportive environment.
Focusing on What You Can Control: A key message of the episode is the empowerment found in concentrating on effort, preparation, and attitude—elements within a player's control—rather than the uncontrollable aspects of team selection.
Dealing with Disappointment and Success: Lee offers perspective on handling both the disappointment of not making a desired team and the joy of success, reminding listeners that effort and personal growth define a player more than the team they play for.
A Call for Unity and Support: The episode calls on families to stand united, focusing on mutual support and effort as they navigate the tryout process, highlighting that the journey is as important as the destination.

Lee closes the episode with words of encouragement, reminding everyone that they are not defined by the outcome of tryouts but by their dedication and resilience. Whether you're a player feeling the weight of expectations or a parent coping with your own set of anxieties, this episode is a must-listen for anyone getting ready to try out for their next season in youth hockey.

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00:00:08.013 --> 00:00:12.525
Hello hockey skaters and goalies around the world, and welcome back to another edition of the Ride to the Rink.

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I'm Lee Elias and today I want to talk to you all about not the tryouts or the evaluations that you're going to, but maybe some of the mental thoughts and mental side of that for you and your parents, which is something that we don't regularly talk about, I think, in hockey world, hockey society.

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So, for the kids listening, there's two things and parents I know you're listening too you got to realize that your parents also feel anxiety sometimes for evaluations.

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They also have emotions attached to evaluations and that's really because they just want you to do the absolute best that you can do and, let's be perfectly honest about it, your parents want you to make the best team you can make as well, and that can create a lot of tension, it can create a lot of weird feelings, it can create a lot of anxiety, like I said in the beginning, and that's why I think it's important that parents, with the kids that you talk about how are you feeling before you go into evaluation?

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If you're feeling nervous good, parents and kids, I'm talking to you both.

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If you're nervous, it's because you care, and you gotta know that.

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It means you care about the outcome, you care about where you're placed and you wanna do the best that you can.

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It's okay to say you feel a little nervous when I coach kids in big games.

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If they're not feeling nervous or feeling something, I'm a little worried because you should be feeling something before a big game.

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It can loosen you up, it can get you going.

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I also think it's important to note you might feel a little pressure about making a certain team or not making a certain team.

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You got to focus on the only things that you can control in these situations.

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When you go to an evaluation as a player, all you can control is your output, your effort, your preparation in terms of what you're eating, how you're sleeping, and really got to leave it all on the ice.

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The choice from there is up to the evaluation staff, the coaches or whoever's there the independent evaluators.

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You got to leave it up to them.

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But you need to leave the rink parents and kids with the idea, with the thought of I did the best I could.

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That is really the only way you can fail at as an evaluation is if you leave thinking I could have done more, I didn't do my best.

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You know I froze and I didn't push forward.

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I didn't push through.

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I'm here to tell you that you can push through.

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You can push forward.

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You can get your very best, even if you're feeling like your legs might be a little bit heavy right, give the best that you have on that day.

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Parents, same thing for you.

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If you're feeling a little nervous, maybe tell your kids about that.

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Maybe tell them that you might be surprised they're not feeling anywhere near as anxious as you are about them.

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Making the team it's important to note at this time of the year we get lost too often on the amount of A's after a team double A triple A, a tier one, tier two what team am I going to make?

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Am I on the same team?

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Look, some of my best seasons in hockey, from both the development standpoint but also a fun standpoint came on years.

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I didn't make the team I wanted to make, because the truth is this you never know what's going to happen.

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The things that you can control throughout the season is your effort, the time you put into practice, your attitude when you show up for practices and games, the attitude you show on the days off of what.

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This is the time that you're putting in?

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Are you motivated to get better?

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That's the stuff that matters in a hockey season.

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The team that you're placed on is temporary and, while it can be very, very disappointing to not make a team that you want to make, or extreme elation when you do make the team you want to make, it doesn't excuse the work that you need to put in to be the best version of yourself as a hockey player and just a human being in general, and again, this is true for parents and kids.

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So I encourage you all and this is not easy for everybody to discuss your feelings when you go into the rink.

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Parents, you can ask your kids are you feeling nervous?

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Are you feeling anxiety?

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Are you feeling confident?

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Kids you can ask your parents that as well, because, again, parents have feelings too.

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But I think when you walk into that rink on the same page, with the same understanding of where you're at, and then the goal is to just give your best and to not really focus too much on the politics, which absolutely exists in youth hockey, but the things that you can control, on the things that you can control.

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If you can focus on those together as parents and kids.

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There's nothing more you can really do than that.

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If you've got questions on this, feel free to email me.

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Team at ourkidsplayhockeycom.

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I know this can be a very stressful time of year, but just remember, it is only a moment.

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You are not defined by what team you make.

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You are defined by your effort.

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You are defined by your push through.

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You are defined by the way you search out a season to make it the best for you.

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That's where your focus has got to be.

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I'm wishing you all nothing but the best in all of your evaluations or whenever you're listening to this the next day.

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Right, but that's going to do it for this edition of the Ride to the Rink.

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Just remember, I believe in you.

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You should too.

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Parents, kids and coaches.

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If you're listening as well, that's going to do it.

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Thank you so much.

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We'll see you on the next Ride to the Rink.

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This is Lee Elias.

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Skate on everybody.