The Ride To The Rink - The Game Changing Power of Positive Body Language

Lee MJ Elias [0:07 - 0:51]: Hello, hockey skaters and goalies around the world. Welcome back to another edition of the Ride to the Rink. It's Lee and Mike with you today. You know, we talk a lot about body language as coaches. I think we hear a lot about the negative body language that we don't want to see. The head sulking, that's smashing the stick, the anger, right? There's so many different types of negative body language that, you know, your coaches will tell you, hey, listen, let's get our heads up. That doesn't help the team, but, you know, we don't talk a lot about a lot kids is positive body language. What are the different types of positive body language? What does that look like versus the negative? And Mike, I want to start with you because there's actually a lot of different types of positive body language that can really help your team. 

Mike Bonelli [0:52 - 1:51]: Yeah, I love watching players, and I probably, I probably look for the body language after a negative play. Yeah, probably. Oh, you know, I mean, because, because we all, we all look at the, the sulking shoulders and the, and the snapping the stick over your. Over your knee or, you know, breaking it over the goal post. Those, those are very blatant. You see it, it's. It's there for everyone to see what we're looking for from, from the players, right? From a player's perspective. I want to see that player go in and pat the goalie on the, on. On the pads. I want to see that player as they skate to the bench, are they. Are they hugging their teammate? Are they whispering their ear? Are they being in a, In a. Are they showing that that goal didn't bother him, that that play didn't bother him, that the fact that they didn't give him a pass and they went off sides didn't bother him, that there was ways to kind of grow from the play in a positive way. And I think when players do that, when you initiate that, your ability to fake being positive actually creates you to be positive. 

Lee MJ Elias [1:51 - 1:51]: Right? 

Mike Bonelli [1:51 - 2:30]: It's like the old saying, right? If you get up and smile, you just smile like you. And if you, if you find a way. We do it as coaches all the time. We have to fake our body language a lot, right? We get off the train, we get out of the car, it's a long day at work. You got 6 o'clock practice, you're late, maybe you're not prepared. You had a bad day at the office. You need to, you need to come in and, and, you know, create a scene. You can do that as a player. Put that into your. Into your repertoire of how you succeed in a game by creating those scenes in the game to help you be a better positive influence on your. On your teammates. 

Lee MJ Elias [2:30 - 4:04]: Yeah. And look, just to scientifically prove your point. And, kids, you can look this up on Google if you want. There's data to show that even if you fake smiling, like Mike just said, it will put you in a better mood because it's not possible for your body not to react that way. But, like, getting more specific here, Mike, you make a great point. I always look at my bench after a goal is scored. What's happening? And when you're defeated, kids, it shows. Right? But when that one kid on the team, and it can even be the goalie skating by the bench says, hey, come on, we got this. We can get back into this. It makes a difference. All right. You know, I've seen games, too, where the opposing team will be up by a couple of goals, and you can see their body language go from confident to cocky, meaning that, ah, we got this one. Right. I would put that as negative body language. But then someone on the bench, season says, guys, let's go. Come on. They're not. They're done. We're ready to go here. That makes such a big difference on the bench. And I'll tell you what, Mike, more often than not, you'll see a response with positive body language than if you don't. Again, goalies, I'm gonna talk to you real quick. If a goal goes in the net, the worst thing we can see is you slamming your stick and screaming and hitting, hitting the crossbar. I mean, you're defeated at that point. But if you get scored on and come by and be accountable, go, guys, we got this, team. We got this. What do you think that does for all the skaters on the team when the goalie's saying, let's go, let's not stop now you've lifted everybody up. Now. Any. Again, any player can do this. It's not limited to just goalies, but your ability to recognize those situations is vital. 

Mike Bonelli [4:04 - 4:31]: Yeah. And I think for any player listening to that, body language doesn't stop on the ice. If you're. If you're a team that goes in between periods of games and there's a first and a second period break, and you're in the locker room, you're in a locker room after a loss, you're in the locker room before. You know, before you're going to play a game where you think you're going to blow the team out and win. Or you think the team, you know, how many times you've walked in the locker room is like, oh, this game, oh, we're done. We're not going to win anyway. And everybody's heads are down and people are sulking and people aren't, you lost. 

Lee MJ Elias [4:31 - 4:32]: You lost the game. 

Mike Bonelli [4:32 - 5:24]: You've lost already. So, I mean, why even play then? Don't even show up. Don't. Don't. You know, there's only reason to play. I'm saying you could create that positive body language, but it's also as positive to speak. It's also positive, you know, the way you're doing things, like in. In as little as listening to your coach, as. As looking at your coach sitting on the bench and watching your coach, he sees that you're. That you're into this game, that your teammates look over and they see that you're not, you know, looking at your iPhone. You're actually, you're engaged in the conversation. Those are positive body languages. Me, as a recruiter, I love watching in between periods, if I see the one player kind of, he's. He's got his back turned and, and he's just not even watching the coach at the end of a period and the coach is drawing stuff up or speaking to me. That says a lot about your body language. Turning around and being in the huddle, being with the team. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:24 - 5:25]: Yeah. 

Mike Bonelli [5:25 - 6:01]: Patting a guy in the back, you know, giving. Giving somebody a pat on the head. Those are all little things that recruiters look for to see if you're not only engaged, but, hey, are you a good teammate? Do people even like you on the ice? I think those are all great things. I think the last thing from positive body language to me is how you interact with officials. If you're going to take the puck and shoot it down the ice, you're going to take the puck and kind of whack it away from the, from the, from the ref. You see an older ref like me out there, puck up, hand it to me, smile. I mean, it's amazing how you're not kissing anybody's butt, but it's amazing. 

Lee MJ Elias [6:01 - 6:02]: It helps. 

Mike Bonelli [6:03 - 6:09]: Referee will do. If you pick up the puck and hand it to him. And as you skate away, they say, oh, Benelli, there he is. Like, I remember that kid. 

Lee MJ Elias [6:09 - 6:09]: Yeah. 

Mike Bonelli [6:10 - 6:23]: As opposed to you slapping the puck down the ice, say, hey, go. Hey, old man, go get the puck. Yeah, I think it's like there's a. There's. That's positive body language. That's positive things that you can do in your game. They're going to help you be successful over the course of the game. 

Lee MJ Elias [6:23 - 9:20]: Now, I love that point, Mike. And for the kids listening, it's true. Look, the refs are not robots. They're people, too. And you can influence them in a positive way. It doesn't mean they're not going make a call if there's a call, but it does help to. To understand that they. They appreciate reffing against you. Mike, you made a great point earlier about the between periods. Even if you don't go to the locker room, kids, it is so vital you. You listen to your coach between periods. Now, hopefully your coach is not screaming and yelling. That's not conducive for between periods. That's not what you want. Okay. But the coach is giving you vital information from what they're observing on the bench. I can tell you right now, as a coach, especially the younger players, when we're talking between periods and you're looking off into the distance or. Or it just looks like you're not paying attention, man, is it frustrating. And I know you're. You're missing stuff that you need to hear, and usually it's the person that's doing that is the one that needs to be hearing it, you know, adversely. Kids, I can't tell you how many times on the bench. This will be my final point, Mike. There's a big play coming up or there's a big situation, and I'm scanning the bench and I am looking for a player that has positive body language that I know I can put out there. It's not always a guarantee, but I can tell you right now, when I'm looking down the bench and I see one of my. We'll just say defensemen looking right back at me with the. I want to go out there and play defense. You might get the nod from that. Okay, first off, even if you don't get the nod, that's what I want. All right. From every player on the bench. But you got to have that positive body language, especially in the tight situations. That can feel a little scary. Right. You know, you got to want to be out there. Right. That anxiety that you feel. We talk a lot about anxiety. That's an old friend. If you're feeling anxiety, it means you care, so embrace it. It's a good thing. I probably don't want you out there if you're not feeling anything. You don't care about the outcome of the game. It's probably not a great position for you to be in, Right? So positive body language. Want to be out there, want to listen. I can think of kids in my head right now who do that every game. They're looking at me. They want to learn. They're ready to go no matter what the score. Right? So important. Not only that, coaches, they all play a role in creating that team bond and creating that ability to focus. But as players, it's really on you. At the end of the day, you play the games. You're the ones who have to do it. All right, kids. So positive body language, not just the negative. There's two types of body language. You can. This is something that you can do every day. It does not take a lot of time to practice it. You can put it into your game right away. Right away from listening to this episode. All right, that's gonna do it for this edition of the Ride to the Rink. Again, I'm Lee. That was Mike. He joins us every episode on our Kids Play Hockey, which you should listen to. Kids, if you have a question, something you want us to discuss, or a comment, you can even leave a voicemail at team@our kidsplayhockey.com on email or click the link accompanying this episode in the description. You can text us, let us know what you want to talk about. But above all, remember to have fun. Skate hard. Remember, we believe in you. You should, too. Goes both ways. We'll see you on the next ride to the ring. Stay positive.