The Ride to The Rink: Unlocking Your Potential Through Mindset Changes with Coach Nick Stoop

Lee MJ Elias [0:00 - 0:43]: skaters and goalies around the world. Welcome back to another edition of the Ride to the Rink. I don't know where you're heading today. Probably in the car with your parents, going to practice or something. But I got two great people here with me, Nick and Haley, joining us to talk about a couple quick stories in the game surrounding mentorship and mindset. And I'm going to start with Haley today. Haley, who plays in the pwhl, she's an Olympian, for those who don't know, told us a great story on our big episode this week about being a youth hockey player. And there was a point in her youth career where she wasn't having fun anymore, and she got aware of that and made a decision. Haley, why don't you walk us through that story real quick? 

Hayley Scamurra [0:43 - 1:34]: Yeah. So I was playing on an all boys team. My dad was coaching. And it was towards the end, I was probably like 11 or 12 roughly, and I was in the locker room by myself. Only seeing them on the ice felt pretty isolated from the team, I would say. And I was just dreading going to the rink. I was dreading having games, going to practice. Felt like I wasn't really having any sort of, you know, connection with any of my teammates. And I remember telling my parents that I just wasn't really having fun anymore. And I think I'm almost positive I initiated the conversation was like, I think I'm ready to be on a girls team so I can have friends that are like me and be able to be in the locker room and connect with them. And so I think that was super important for me to have ownership over that and to be aware that I wasn't having fun anymore and to be able to communicate that with my parents. 

Lee MJ Elias [1:34 - 2:50]: Yeah. And kids listening, the, the key here is the awareness. Right. Because I know there's some of you out there. You all love the game, right? We all love the game. That's the common thing. If you're listening to the show, kids, you love the game, but sometimes you might not be aware of, ah, maybe I'm not where I want to be right now emotionally or, or in a mindset way of I'm not really having fun with this group. Kids, it's okay to have those conversations with your parents right now. I would not go up to your parents, say, I don't like it. I want to quit. That's not. That's not what we're saying. Okay. I think what we're saying here is I, I don't feel right. And I want to Explore why this doesn't feel right to me right now. I'm not connecting with my teammates. And like, Haley did that and again, made a decision, right, to join an all girls team. It was the right decision. Obviously. She's co host again, Olympian, professional hockey player. But kids, don't let those feelings linger for too long, okay? Because I'll tell you right now that that, kids, we've talked about it on the show many times about burnout. It can get to a point where you won't want to play. And none of us here want that to happen. Right? Hockey has to be fun, you know, most of the time. Or else. Or else you're gonna run into a problem. I want to turn it to Nick, who's here with us here, too, because Nick had a great point about points, right? Stats. 

Coach Nick Stoop [2:50 - 2:50]: Yes. 

Lee MJ Elias [2:51 - 3:06]: The Internet hockey db, elite prospects. How many goals did you get? Where are you going? What's your recruiting? Where's your link? Like, my goodness, kids, you've got so much access to stats, and it can be a problem. So, Nick, why don't you dive into stats and points and some. And some thoughts about that. 

Coach Nick Stoop [3:06 - 4:29]: Yes, absolutely. Actually, this will. This takes us honestly, right back to a conversation that Haley and I were having, honestly, in preparation for getting ready to go to the World Championships. So, right. Right before that little break, she had about a week, and we. That was also when we had another community call with our mentorship group. And so we were talking about the points. And one thing that when I listened to her talk, the way that she kept mentioning points, the entirety of her time out on the ice was solely around trying, and I'm using that word very intentionally, trying to get a point. And when I realized that every frame of reference, every thought the brain had when it was on the ice was, if I don't score or get a point, then I'm falling behind or failing, I realized that, well, now every time she goes out there, it's just gonna. That now she's in a cycle that can only continue. So we shifted from. Instead of the goal is to get a point, a game, as an example. We use that as an example. Instead of the goal being to get a point a game, we switched it very simply, the goal is now to put yourself in a position for a pointed game to happen. 

Lee MJ Elias [4:30 - 4:30]: Right? 

Coach Nick Stoop [4:30 - 5:07]: And when we shifted that mindset focus from points to doing whatever you need to, to put yourself in the positions to allow for that to happen, whether that's you shooting and scoring, shooting, and then you get a teammate rebound, you make A nice pass backside to your team, whatever that is, however it happens, Right? You're just focused on that, because then kind of like what we were talking about, when you take the focus off that one thing and you're like, hey, as you mentioned in the podcast, like, just focus today on being a great teammate. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:07 - 5:07]: Right? 

Coach Nick Stoop [5:07 - 5:25]: You know, kind of the same thing. You know, being a great teammate for yourself, your line mates and. And the group that you're out there with on the ice at that time, and obviously for the whole team. And Haley, how did. How did that shift change things for you? 

Hayley Scamurra [5:25 - 5:35]: No, it was massive. I think I was able to just kind of focus on the little things that I do well. And in the first World Championship game, I got two goals in my first two shifts. 

Coach Nick Stoop [5:35 - 5:35]: So it was. 

Hayley Scamurra [5:36 - 5:47]: It was a pretty dramatic shift, for sure. And I also just felt a lot more free out there. I just felt more me. And it was. It was incredible. The weight was lifted, for sure. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:47 - 5:50]: Well, I love saying this, too, kids. You can find those highlights online just by searching. 

Coach Nick Stoop [5:51 - 5:51]: Yeah. 

Lee MJ Elias [5:52 - 6:57]: You know, I'll say this, too, to kind of. To kind of bring the point home, guys, is that, you know, I love it. The small shift of changing the win. Right. You know, kids, I always say this to kids. There's really only three things in your life you control. It's your effort, your mindset, and your diet. Both. Both food and knowledge. So when you put all of your cookies into a basket, that is points or shutouts or whatever it is, there's so much you don't control. Haley, you could have the greatest game ever, and the puck just might not go in the net. I mean, it's just the truth, right? So we're not saying that scoring's not important, kids. Don't get me wrong. It's part of the game. But change the win. Change how you're focusing. And what's funny is, as you both just said, Haley, when you. When you got back to those three things, the mindset, the effort, the diet, points just showed up out of nowhere. We said it, too. When you go back to being a great teammate and that aura, kids, you love that word now. Aura. It shows up. But if you're. If you're focused on something, man, there's a lot of pressure that doesn't need to be there. Right? Change the win. 

Coach Nick Stoop [6:57 - 7:36]: Yeah. Haley, was there any thought. Did you have any thoughts around having to make a point, shoot, or score that game? Like, I had the perfect seat to see and observe her reaction and the way she reacted to scoring, told me that there was nothing in her mind focused on scoring because she was surprised. It was like, whoa, I did that. And that was also telling me she was no longer in her head. She was present in the moment. There was no thinking thinking. She was just doing. She was out there flowing. 

Lee MJ Elias [7:37 - 8:52]: Well, I love that you said be present because that's the other part of the things you can control. I always say we'll close it out on this, that you can reflect on your past, look to your future, but you have to live in the present moment because that's the only reality. Great episode of the Ride tonight, kids. You got some bonus time here today and I love that. Parents listening. Thanks for letting your kids listen. For Haley and Nick, I'm Lee. Remember, kids, wherever you're at on your hockey journey, we believe in you. You should, too. Have fun, skate hard, and we'll see you on the next ride of the rink. Take care, everybody. We hope you enjoyed this edition of our Kids Play Hockey. Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network, or our website, our kids playhockey.com also make sure to check out our children's book, when hockey stops at when hockeystops.com. it's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life. We're very proud of it. But thanks so much for listening to this edition of our Kids Play Hockey and we'll see you on the next episode. Sa.