May 2, 2024

The Ride To The Rink - What To Do When You Don't Make The Team You Wanted To Be On

Show Notes
Transcript

This week's episode of Our Kids Play Hockey tackles a pivotal question straight from the Our Kids Play Hockey community: How can you be a good teammate or supportive parent, especially when you or your child doesn't make the desired team?

Lee delves into the importance of maintaining a positive and proactive attitude, regardless of the team placement. Drawing from personal experiences, he shares how some of his most rewarding hockey seasons were those where he didn't make the team he initially wanted. These experiences underscored the unexpected opportunities for growth and leadership that can arise in less-than-ideal circumstances.

Key Highlights:

- Overcoming Disappointment: Lee talks about the benefits of playing on a team that might not have been your first choice and how this can lead to unexpected personal development and enjoyment.

- The Role of a Good Teammate and Parent: Emphasizing the critical role of supporting one another, Lee discusses how being a great teammate or parent involves more than just dealing with successes; it's about fostering a positive environment and helping others excel.

- Personal Development Beyond the Ice: The conversation extends beyond just playing hockey — it's about developing life skills, leadership, and a strong work ethic. Lee stresses the importance of what you do off the ice, including physical training and studying the game, to improve on it.

This episode is not just for those who play but also for the parents and coaches who guide and support young athletes. Tune in to gain valuable insights on how to navigate the emotional highs and lows of team selections and turn them into developmental stepping stones in youth hockey. Whether you're a player, a parent, or a coach, this discussion offers vital lessons on growth, resilience, and the true spirit of sportsmanship.

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00:00:08.185 --> 00:00:12.548
Hello hockey skaters and goalies around the world, and welcome back to another edition of the ride to the rink.

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It's Lee with you today, and I got a pretty important topic here, one that was actually suggested from our our kids play hockey group, from parents and kids, the question being how do you be a good teammate or a good parent, parent when you don't make the team that you want to make?

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Well, let me first start out by saying this Regardless of what team you make whether it's the team you've always wanted to make, or you got shafted and you feel like you were wrong and are on the wrong team you always need to be a good teammate and a good parent.

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I think we do need to define a little bit about what that means, but before I do that, let me just talk a little bit, because I know we are at the time period of the season when you've most likely made a team right and look, it's always split making the team you want to make versus the team you don't want to make.

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First off, let's start with the team you don't want to make.

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Let's say you got to a lower level or you didn't crack the lineup you wanted to be on First thing I want to tell you, some of my best years in hockey by far were the years I didn't make the team that I wanted to make, and I think there's several reasons for that.

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One, my skill level was probably a little elevated for the teams I made, so it made the hockey probably a little bit more fun in that sense that I was one of the controllers on the ice.

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I was one of the leaders on the ice, but also I think I had a little bit more drive in those seasons.

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I wanted to prove people wrong.

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I wanted to prove myself right.

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I wanted to show that I had what it takes to get to the next level.

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Also, I had really, really great coaches at those time periods that understood that I was not exactly where I wanted to be and they helped me accept that this is where I am.

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This is where I need to develop.

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This is the position that I need to take on and learn as much as I can.

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I remember I had one coach I'll never forget his name, fred Snickris who would sit me down and this is a team that I wanted to make a higher team that year for an hour every practice before every practice, with a whiteboard teaching me the game, teaching me the X's and O's.

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It's probably one of the reasons I became a coach was because of those little sessions that I had with him.

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And it brings me to the larger point.

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Youth hockey is all about development, and the way you approach your team as a team player and as an individual is going to dictate how you develop.

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If you show up to practice as a parent or a kid with a bad attitude, thinking I shouldn't be here, I should be there, these kids are not good enough, I'm better, you're as much as you want to develop.

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Adversely, let's say you made the best team you wanted to make.

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If you show up with well, I'm on the best team, I did what I wanted to do and you don't work hard, you're not going to develop.

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It doesn't matter what team you made, because you control the effort and the mindset that you're putting out to become the best player you can be.

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If you feel like you got dealt a bad hand, I'm not saying that that's not true, but I'm saying it's done.

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You can't control that and now you need to take the steps, mentally and physically, to assure that you're doing everything you can as a player to become the best hockey player you can be.

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You only practice a few times a week.

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You only have games a few times a week.

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When you think about it, it's only six, seven hours.

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What are you doing with the rest of the week?

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Are you outside training If you're old enough?

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Are you in the gym doing the things that you need to do to get stronger?

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Are you studying the game?

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If you love this game and you are obsessed with this game and I'm going to say too, it's okay.

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If you're not, you'll put the time in.

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There's no one team or one coach that is going to make or break you.

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Either way, whether it's a great team or not a great team, in your mind, there is no situation that makes or break you.

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You have control over that.

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As a kid and the parents listening you have some control over this as well, all of you.

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When you leave the situations, you have the right to feel whatever you feel.

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If you're angry or elated or anything and anything in between, it's absolutely normal.

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I'm not telling you not to feel your emotions.

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I am telling you not to lean in and go.

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Well, if this had happened and that had happened and if I was on this team and I made that team.

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Don't do that.

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You're at where you're at.

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The question should be okay.

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This is the situation I'm in.

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What am I going to do about it?

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All right, when it comes to being a great teammate, you should be a great teammate, no matter what team you're on.

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I love this quote.

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I think I've said it before.

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I'm going to say it again Good players go on the ice.

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They get goals and they get assists and they look good.

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Great players make everyone around them better.

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So, if you made a team that you didn't want to make and you're a little bit of a higher level on that team, make everyone around you great.

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Make sure you're teaching your friends.

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Make sure that your teammates know they can come to you and they can learn from you and they can be with you in a team environment.

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Adversely, you made the big, great team.

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Search out those players, the ones that want to help you.

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Ask great questions and you'll get great answers.

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Parents, for you, because a lot of you ask me this as well.

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The more involved you get with a team, typically, the more you feel like you're included, the less time there is to commiserate.

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I'm not going to lie to you about that, right.

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Your kids probably want you involved and if they don't, that's okay too.

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But when it gets to the end of the day, your ability to walk into that program or that team together and say, hey look, we're going to do this and I believe in you and you believe in me and we're going to do this parent and kid or kid and that just, I believe in you.

00:05:11.572 --> 00:05:13.595
It's such an important part of it.

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I had such great support from my parents when I was playing and parents do not underestimate your role in supporting your child and supporting that.

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They have the right to have a dream and supporting their play.

00:05:24.620 --> 00:05:25.300
Right.

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If you spend all season kid or parent saying you deserve to be at a higher level, you deserve to be at a higher level, you deserve to be at a higher level.

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You're doing a disservice If you think you deserve to be at a higher level.

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What are the actions you need to take off the ice on the ice to get to the higher level?

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What can you take from the team you're on now to learn to get to a higher level?

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It's easy when you're not the top kid on the team because you're learning all the time Right Again, if you're on a big team, a great team.

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I can keep going back and forth, because the answer is always the same what can you take from that team to become better?

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So again, I know a lot of you made teams.

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I know a lot of kids that are very happy.

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I know a lot of kids that are very upset.

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Feel what you feel.

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I cannot reiterate that enough.

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You have the right to feel, but do not let those emotions control you.

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You need to control them.

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If you think you deserve to be on a better team, prove it.

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Take this season and become a better player.

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Find the work ethic off the ice that's going to get you to that next level.

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There's nothing guaranteed in hockey or in life.

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The only thing you should be guaranteed is the right to work to get better, and I believe most organizations provide that right.

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Hockey is a very political space, but at the end of the day, you control your output.

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You control your effort, your mindset and the things you put in your body, both knowledge and food.

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And that's my advice to you Don't be a great teammate on the teams.

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You want to be a great teammate.

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Be a great teammate, a great teammate on the teams.

00:07:02.586 --> 00:07:04.149
You want to be a great teammate.

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Be a great teammate period.

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Don't be a great hockey player on a double A team, a triple A team, and not on a B team.

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Be a great player period.

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It comes down to what you want to take out of the experience, and a bad attitude will never get you where you want to be on either side of the aisle.

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With that said, a great attitude, an educational attitude, an open mindset, a learning mentality, not a fixed mentality that's going to help you grow.

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At the end of the day, no matter where you're at, your ability to develop into the best hockey player you can be is largely on you, kids and the time you put in, and it also is dependent on making sure that your coaches know that you're interested and you want to learn.

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Okay, so take the time you put in.

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And it also is dependent on making sure that your coaches know that you're interested and you want to learn.

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Okay, so take the time.

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No matter where you're at, I want you to know I believe in you.

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I want you to have a great season, no matter where you're at.

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Unfortunately, not every season can be perfect and be the most wonderful thing in the world, but every season can be a learning opportunity, and the culmination of seasons the good, the bad and the in-between is what makes you a complete player, a complete athlete and, the most important, a complete person, which is the most valuable thing.

00:08:05.271 --> 00:08:12.360
Parents, I'm talking to you that you can get out of this game.

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The ROI on youth hockey is you become a great person that can step into that real world one day and become a great leader, a great teammate all the things I talked about and someone who's going to work hard for the betterment of the team.

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So, even if you don't feel like that's happening to you right now, that's within your control to get that best out of you with that, okay.

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So that's what it is.

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Remember I believe in you.

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You need to believe in you too.

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I'm wishing you the absolute best season, no matter where you're at, and we'll continue to hear the entire off season with you on the ride to the rink.

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This has been Lee Elias.

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We'll see you next time.

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Skate on everybody and enjoy the summer.

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We hope you enjoyed this edition of our kids play hockey.

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Make sure to like and subscribe right now If you found value.

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Wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network or our website, our kids play hockeycom.

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Also, make sure to check out our children's book when Hockey Stops at whenhockeystopscom.

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It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life.

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We're very proud of it.

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But thanks so much for listening to this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey and we'll see you on the next episode.

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You.