The Ride to The Rink: Why Texting Might Be Hurting Your Game — And How to Fix It

Hello, hockey skaters and goalies around the world, and welcome back to another

edition of the ride to the rink. It's Mike and Lee with you today, and we're

talking about something. We're talking about texting. I know, I know, kids, you hear

about your parents all the time. Don't text, don't do this. All you do is text.

All you do is have your phone in your head and you're texting and all this stuff.

Guess what, kids, it's not your fault. You were brought up.

this on the big episode this week with Jen Fry, which is a tremendous episode about

communication, just to kind of remind you that text messages, no matter how many

emojis you put with them, have no emotional connotation. What I mean by that is how

you write a text to someone, how you mean it does not guarantee the person reading

the text is going to receive it that way, right? And this is one of the,

I don't want to call it a problem, Mike, but this is one of the side effects of

texting is everyone might read it differently. And kids, just as an example, like if

you're in a really bad mood and I, you ask me a question, I just go, okay, okay,

like you might say like, what does that mean? What do you mean just okay? They

didn't write anything else. They start thinking, what do they mean by that? And

that's where the problem and lies, right? Mike, I mean, you've experienced this a

little bit too. We'll talk about solutions in a minute, but let's just go over the

issue first. Yeah. Well, again, it's all, like, I don't know, text messaging doesn't

allow context and it doesn't allow, like, the ability to let somebody know you are

busy, but I'm just, I'm giving you a K because it's just like, I'm trying to type

of one. I'm trying to type of one finger. I get But it makes sense, boom, done.

Like, or, you know, where the, like, I've been doing, I've been addicted to voice

the text now. Like, it's been a really big problem for me because, you know,

because I find myself saying something and then I have to fix it or it or

something, a word comes out wrong or like it just, you know, it just rambles on so

too much. Like, sometimes it's better to get a K, you know, so I think it's, but

if you're a kid doing doing this and you're a young person texting back and forth

with adults or other kids. You know, I just looked at, I always look at it as,

I know it's old school, but, you know, a conversation is so much worth it if you

have the time and you're in a place where you're private, you know, if you needed

privacy or whatever, just have that conversation like a real face -to -face.

I've seen kids text each other in the same locker room. So, you know, so I mean,

I'm like, guys, you're in the room. Just go over and talk to the person. Like, you

know, so there's a lot of, and there's a lot of pitfalls of texting on a team.

But one of them is just a miscommunication piece. Well, here's the other thing too,

Mike. You make a great point is kids, I want to make this like worth your while

because you might roll your eyes when we say, hey, just go talk to each other.

It's a skill we look for as coaches, right? really great communication, good

communicators, is going to make you a better hockey player. Because we expect you to

do this on the ice. And I have yet to see a kid text another kid. I'm open in

the middle of a game. You can't do it. So it's like anything. You've got to

practice verbal communication. I'm going to say that to you again as a coach.

You've got to practice your verbal communication because there's no scenario in hockey

or in life, for that matter, that you're going to succeed without the ability to

communicate. Now, I know it can be a little scary or nerve -wracking, but that's why

you've got to practice it. When you started playing hockey, there were a lot of

skills you weren't great at either, and it's nerve -wracking to have to learn out to

shoot and pass and do these basic things. Communication really is a basic skill, all

right? And again, look, we've talked about kids, extrovert, introvert, you know, kids

who like, very outgoing and have no problem talking versus kids who like to keep to

themselves, no matter where you're at, there's lessons in communication because you

can communicate too much at times too, right? So the point is this, verbal

communication is an important skill set. Mike and I are really suggesting you get

good at because it's going to help your game and it's going to help you in life.

All right? Yeah, just remember verbal communication there is no save button like

there is it doesn't it doesn't stay there forever right so when you have a verbal

communication it could be bad or good but remember that once you put something in a

text and once you blast it off to a teammate or a group text right or it's you

know in a negative way or a positive way once you establish that communication

that's out there forever right and you can't get it back and you can't you often

don't have the opportunity to explain what the text meant right because people are

like no this is what you wrote and this is what you said um because it's and it's

you know for a child or you know 13 14 15 year old we as adults have to be very

careful this too it's like you know you beg yourself not to send an email he said

i'm going to wait i'm going to wait i'm going to wait wait i'm gonna think about

it so think about just when you're blasting off text messages remember that that

text message is there forever and be really conscious about the way you're presenting

it to whoever you're presenting it to well and mike i'll give you a funny example

of of how weird that's getting i at least once a week i'll get a text of someone

else's text someone's taking a screenshot of a text someone else privately sent to

to show me what they said. Right. And I'll tell you what, I'm pretty hyper aware

that when I send anything, that could be screenshoted and sent to somebody else,

which is, you know, sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's dangerous, you know, go

where you want to with that one. The other one, two kids, is this, I think about

texting. If you're angry or we say emotionally compromised. You're excited,

you're angry, you're just feeling some big emotions, and you're texting someone. you

can get yourself in a lot of trouble or here's one if you're really excited texting

someone who's really mad that conversation is going to be really bad that's all

rhymed and that's fine right because you're reading it here's another funny one for

you as an adult I have been texting with friends and maybe I haven't been in the

best mood and I'm reading the text they're sending me thinking what's going on here?

Why they're not giving me what I want? Why they're not talking to me? And I'll

call them. I do this because I don't like the way the text conversation is going.

So I'll call them and they're in a fantastic mood. And I was just reading

everything that they were saying completely wrong. That happens to me all the time.

So the lesson here where I'm going with this is you've got to recognize when you're

not in the right mindset to be receiving text communication. It doesn't mean you

have to call them. It does might mean maybe take a break. or if you're in a

heated argument

trying to get a reaction out of them, that's not good communication because you're

not attacking whatever the issue is that you're trying to fix out, figure out.

So all I'm trying to say is this. This is your chosen mode of communication. I'm

not telling you, I'm not telling you you you're wrong. Okay. I think a lot of

adults will tell you that's horrible and that's wrong. We all text too. Don't let

us fool you. I am telling you, the one things the adults have on you is we all

grew up verbally communicating on the phone or in person. It would behoove you to

learn to do that as well. It's a skill set. Here's my last little tip for you.

Mike, you can add onto this too. Kids, if you learn how to talk to adults,

you'll probably get more of the stuff you want because you've learned how to talk

to adults. If my kid texts me, bet, you want to go out to dinner?

Bet. I'm not too excited to take you out to dinner now. If I say, do you want to

go out to dinner and I get a call? Hey, dad, I'd love to go out to dinner. I'd

love these three restaurants. I'd love to spend time with you. Man, let's go out to

dinner. I want to go out to dinner. Bet.

that's not getting me excited. Learn how to talk to your parents. Learn how to talk

to adults. It'll help you. Mike, final thoughts. Yeah, I mean, just, there's so many

more pitfalls of not communicating verbally than there are just the text. And then

again, there's a time and a place and I get it. It's easy. You're right there. But

if you have, if you have an opportunity to, you know, tag somebody on the shoulder

and say hello or you see somebody in the hallway, say hello. Talk to your parent

and don't wait to have a text message.

than an emoji. Yeah, we could take the transcript of the zip of them, text to you

if you want. It's going to be a long lead, though. Kids, listen, you're doing it

all great. Again, you got the stuff you got. Remember, we say this every episode.

We believe in you. You should, too. We're just trying to give you some tips to go

forward. But that's Mike. I'm Lee. This has been the ride to the rink. Wherever

you're playing hockey today, enjoy it. Have fun, skate hard, work on, and get

better. We'll see you soon. Take care. You know, You know,