Not Getting Enough Ice Time? Focus on What You Can Control

Few topics create more emotion in youth hockey than ice time.

A player feels overlooked. A parent watches the bench and starts counting shifts. A coach makes a decision based on something that may not be visible from the stands. Before long, frustration replaces curiosity, and the conversation becomes centered on fairness rather than development.

In this episode of Our Girls Play Hockey, Lee Elias and Olympic gold medalist and Walter Cup champion Hayley Scamurra explore how players, parents, and coaches can navigate ice-time concerns more productively.

Their message is not that every coaching decision is correct. Coaches can make mistakes. Communication can be poor. Some youth hockey environments do not provide players with the opportunities they deserve.

But in many situations, the most useful question is not:

“Why am I not playing more?”

It is:

“What can I do to become a player my coach trusts?”

That shift changes the conversation from frustration to growth.

Ice Time Is Often the Result, Not the Starting Point

Players frequently look at ice time as something they should receive before they can prove themselves.

They may think:

• I cannot show what I can do because I am not playing enough.
• I need more shifts before I can make an impact.
• The coach already made up their mind about me.
• The players who score are always going to play more.

Those feelings are understandable. It is difficult to remain patient when opportunities feel limited.

However, coaches often make decisions based on what a player does during the opportunities already available to them. That does not mean a player must score every shift. It means the player must demonstrate habits that make the coach comfortable sending them back onto the ice.

That could include:

• Competing hard for loose pucks
• Making a simple breakout play
• Getting the puck safely out of the defensive zone
• Backchecking with purpose
• Blocking a shot
• Protecting the front of the net
• Changing at the right time
• Communicating with teammates
• Remaining engaged on the bench

These actions may not appear on the scoresheet, but they build trust.

A player who consistently makes dependable decisions can become extremely valuable, especially late in close games or during special-teams situations.

Ask a Better Question

There is a meaningful difference between approaching a coach and saying:

“I am not getting enough ice time.”

and asking:

“What can I improve so that I am ready for my next opportunity?”

The first statement focuses on what the coach is doing wrong. The second demonstrates curiosity, accountability, and a willingness to develop.

That does not guarantee an immediate increase in playing time. It does, however, create the opportunity for an honest conversation.

Players should be prepared for that conversation to feel uncomfortable. Constructive feedback is not always easy to hear. A coach may point out problems with effort, decision-making, body language, positioning, puck management, or attitude.

The player does not have to enjoy the feedback. The goal is to understand it clearly enough to act on it.

After the conversation, a player can ask:

• What specific habits should I improve?
• What does success in my role look like?
• Which situations can I prepare for?
• What should I focus on during my next shift?

Specific questions produce more useful answers than general complaints.

Your Attitude on the Bench Still Affects the Game

A player does not stop contributing when a shift ends.

Hayley emphasizes that athletes can still influence the game from the bench by communicating, encouraging teammates, observing play, and staying emotionally engaged.

A player can:

• Let a teammate know when pressure is coming
• Call out an available passing option
• Encourage a player after a difficult shift
• Watch how the opponent is forechecking
• Recognize where space is opening
• Stay prepared for the next opportunity

Coaches notice these behaviors.

They also notice when a player is hunched over, disengaged, visibly sulking, or attempting to communicate frustration through negative body language.

A player has every right to feel disappointed. Emotional reactions are human. But displaying those emotions in a way that suggests the player is disconnected from the team can make it more difficult for a coach to trust that player in an important moment.

The question for players is simple:

Does my body language show that I am ready to help the team?

Flashy Plays Do Not Always Build Trust

Young players often believe that earning more ice time requires doing something spectacular.

They may try to beat multiple defenders, force an offensive play, attempt a risky toe drag near the blue line, or hold onto the puck too long because they want to create a scoring chance.

But high-risk decisions in dangerous areas can have the opposite effect.

Losing the puck at the defensive blue line can trap teammates in their own zone. Turning it over at the offensive blue line can send the opponent the other way with speed. Even when a risky move works, the coach may be thinking less about the highlight and more about what could have happened if it failed.

Dependable puck management matters.

At the blue line, players should consider safer and more effective options:

• Make the available pass
• Use the boards or glass when necessary
• Skate the puck across the line before attempting a move
• Delay and wait for support
• Put the puck toward the net
• Establish the forecheck
• Avoid forcing a play when no safe option exists

Creativity is an important part of hockey. Players should not become afraid to make plays. The lesson is to understand where and when risk makes sense.

Good hockey decisions earn trust.

A Player’s Value Is Bigger Than Goals and Points

One of the strongest lessons from the episode comes from Hayley’s experience in professional hockey.

During a difficult stretch, she became consumed with trying to produce points. The more she focused on the scoresheet, the more frustrated she became. Her game narrowed, and she stopped recognizing the many other ways she could help her team.

Eventually, she changed her approach.

Instead of chasing points, she focused on putting herself in good positions, executing the smaller details of her game, creating opportunities, and helping her team build momentum.

She began viewing success more broadly. A shift that set up the next line for a goal still mattered. Creating pressure mattered. Defending well mattered. Leadership mattered. The way she carried herself at the rink mattered.

As that pressure faded, her performance improved. She enjoyed the game more, contributed more effectively, and experienced significant team and individual success.

This is an important lesson for young players: production often improves when it stops becoming the only measure of success.

Players can contribute through:

• Defensive responsibility
• Puck retrievals
• Faceoff support
• Net-front presence
• Penalty killing
• Shot blocking
• Forechecking pressure
• Smart line changes
• Communication
• Leadership
• Energy
• Consistency

Not every important play earns a point.

Coaches and parents should intentionally recognize these contributions so players learn to value the complete game.

Coaches Must Communicate Clearly

Players are responsible for asking thoughtful questions and responding to feedback. Coaches are responsible for giving honest, useful answers.

A player should not have to spend an entire season guessing about their role.

A coach can clearly explain:

• Where the player currently fits in the lineup
• Which strengths the coaching staff values
• Which areas require improvement
• What the player’s responsibilities are
• Which situations may create additional opportunities
• What progress will look like

These conversations should take place privately and respectfully.

Honesty does not require cruelty. A coach can be direct while still focusing on growth.

For example:

“We value your defensive play and your energy. Right now, we need you to improve your puck decisions at the blue line. If you consistently make the simple play and stay engaged defensively, we can trust you in more situations.”

That message gives the player something specific to work on.

Coaches must also follow through. When a player makes the requested improvements, the coach should recognize that progress and provide opportunities when appropriate. Moving the target after a player has completed what was asked damages trust.

Youth Development Must Come Before Fear

The ice-time conversation changes depending on age and competitive level.

At younger ages, development should remain the priority. Players need meaningful opportunities to learn, make mistakes, and build confidence. Consistently limiting a young player’s participation during ordinary games can interfere with development and enjoyment.

As players move into levels where athletes are selected, cut, assigned specific roles, or competing in elite environments, ice time may become more situational.

Even then, development still matters.

Coaches should not avoid using a player simply because they fear the player may make a mistake. Instead, they can prepare the player for the situation by providing a clear assignment.

A coach might say:

“Protect the front of the net, keep your positioning inside, and make the simple first pass.”

Clear instructions reduce uncertainty. They also help players understand that success does not always mean scoring. Sometimes success means completing one specific responsibility during an important shift.

Parents Should Encourage Self-Advocacy

Watching a child struggle with ice time can be difficult. Parents naturally want to protect their children and correct situations that appear unfair.

But immediately confronting the coach may not help the player.

Parents are not on the bench. They may not know what instructions were given, how the player responded, what happened in practice, or what the coach observed during previous shifts.

Before escalating the situation, parents can encourage the player to speak directly with the coach.

Help the player prepare by asking:

• What do you want to understand?
• What feedback are you prepared to hear?
• How can you ask without sounding accusatory?
• What specific improvement can you commit to making?

A productive opening might be:

“Coach, I would like to understand what I can improve and how I can help the team more.”

Learning to have difficult conversations is valuable beyond hockey. It builds confidence, communication skills, resilience, and personal responsibility.

Parents still have an important role. There are situations—particularly with younger children or unhealthy coaching environments—where adult involvement is necessary. But whenever possible, helping players learn to advocate for themselves can be more powerful than speaking for them immediately.

Control the Controllables

Players cannot control every lineup decision.

They cannot control when a whistle ends a short shift. They cannot control whether another line gets stuck on the ice longer than expected. They cannot control every special-teams opportunity or matchup.

They can control:

• Effort
• Attitude
• Preparation
• Communication
• Body language
• Decision-making
• Response to feedback
• Support for teammates
• Commitment to improvement

Focusing on those areas does not eliminate disappointment. It gives the player a productive direction.

Keep the Team at the Center

Ice-time frustration becomes especially difficult when the focus shifts entirely toward the individual.

Hockey is a team sport. Every player, parent, and coach must remember that decisions, reactions, and conversations affect the larger group.

Players should want to contribute, not simply accumulate shifts. Parents should support their child while respecting the team environment. Coaches should make decisions honestly, communicate clearly, and prioritize development where appropriate.

The healthiest question is not only:

“How can I play more?”

It is:

“How can I help this team more?”

That mindset builds better hockey players, stronger teammates, and more confident young people.

Keep encouraging the girls in your hockey community to compete, communicate, stay curious, and recognize their value beyond the scoresheet. Share this episode with a player, parent, or coach who may need a healthier perspective on ice time—and continue the conversation with Our Girls Play Hockey.