What Every Goalie Parent Should Know: Confidence, Development, and Letting Goalies Learn

Being a goalie parent is different.

You know it the moment your child puts on the pads.

Every shot feels important.

Every goal is visible.

Every save can create excitement.

And every mistake seems to happen in front of the entire rink.

That can make supporting a young goalie complicated.

In this episode of Our Kids Play Goalie, Lee Elias and Mike Bonelli sit down with Dave “Hutch” Hutchison, co-founder of InGoal Magazine, goalie coach, lifelong goaltender, podcast host, and goalie parent.

Hutch has interviewed some of the best goalies and goaltending coaches in the world.

But many of his strongest lessons come back to something far more fundamental:

Support the person first.

The hockey development can grow from there.

Confidence Matters at the Position

Goaltending demands confidence.

That does not mean a goalie always believes they will stop every puck.

It means they believe they can handle whatever happens next.

A goal goes in.

Reset.

A game gets away from you.

Keep competing.

A mistake happens.

Learn.

Confidence allows goalies to move forward instead of becoming trapped by what already happened.

And parents and coaches have a major influence on whether that confidence grows or disappears.

Stop Turning Every Goal Into a Failure

One of Hutch’s concerns is the idea that goalies should always find something they did wrong on every goal.

There is value in technical accountability.

Maybe your depth was wrong.

Maybe your feet were late.

Maybe you lost the puck through traffic.

Those things matter.

But if every goal immediately turns into:

“What did I do wrong?”

a young goalie can begin viewing the entire position through failure.

Sometimes the shooter made a great play.

Sometimes the defense broke down.

Sometimes the puck deflected twice.

Sometimes a great shot simply beats you.

Development requires honesty.

It does not require blaming yourself for everything.

Do Not Blame Everyone Else Either

The opposite mindset is just as dangerous.

“My defense was terrible.”

“That forward missed his assignment.”

“That goal wasn't my fault.”

Goalies need to find a healthy middle ground.

Maybe a teammate made a mistake.

That can be acknowledged.

But the goalie can still ask:

What information did I have?

Was there anything I could have done?

What can I learn?

Then move forward.

Accountability and perspective can coexist.

Separate Performance From Outcome

This may be one of the most important skills a young goalie can develop.

A goalie can lose and play extremely well.

A goalie can win and not have their best game.

The final score does not tell you everything.

Hutch recommends helping young goalies identify specific moments they are proud of.

Not necessarily the flashy glove save.

Maybe it was:

• Getting across on the feet instead of sliding

• Tracking a play correctly

• Reading a pass early

• Staying patient

• Recovering after a difficult goal

• Maintaining strong positioning

Those details demonstrate actual development.

Ask a Better Question

Instead of immediately asking:

“How many did you let in?”

try:

“What did you like about your game today?”

That question changes the conversation.

Now the goalie has to evaluate themselves.

They begin developing awareness.

They start identifying progress.

Eventually, they may become capable of saying:

“We lost, and I’m disappointed—but I actually played really well.”

That is maturity.

Stats Do Not Tell the Whole Story

Parents naturally look for numbers.

Save percentage.

Goals against average.

Wins.

Shutouts.

But youth hockey statistics can be incredibly misleading.

First, goaltending is heavily influenced by the team.

A team that allows repeated backdoor passes and breakaways creates a very different environment than a team that limits opponents to perimeter shots.

Second, youth hockey shot counts are not always reliable.

Volunteer scorekeepers may interpret shots differently.

One goalie gets credited with 40.

Another gets 18.

Neither number may accurately represent what happened.

The numbers can be interesting.

They should not become your child’s identity.

Save Percentage Is a Team Stat Too

A goalie does not create every shot they face.

The skaters in front of them influence:

• Shot location

• Screens

• Rebounds

• Rush chances

• Odd-man situations

• Passing lanes

• Time and space

That means save percentage reflects more than goalie performance.

At the youth level especially, treating it as a pure individual grade can create a badly distorted picture.

Be Careful With Advanced Stats Too

More sophisticated numbers can provide valuable context.

But Hutch cautions against assuming they suddenly remove uncertainty.

A goal is binary.

It went in or it did not.

Over one game, the difference between a few goals and saves can dramatically change an evaluation.

Use statistics as information.

Do not treat them as absolute truth.

Goalie Parents Need Each Other

The relationship between goalie families is unique.

There are only two of you.

You both understand the pressure.

You both know what it feels like to watch your child stand alone in the crease.

That should create community.

Unfortunately, it can also create competition.

Hutch strongly encourages parents to resist that.

Do Not Tear Down the Other Goalie

A parent walks over.

“Your kid should really be playing tonight.”

“The other goalie can't handle these games.”

“She isn't as good as your daughter.”

It sounds like a compliment.

Do not engage.

Eventually the roles may reverse.

More importantly, that other goalie is your child’s teammate.

Parents help shape team culture too.

Support both kids.

Youth Hockey Should Not Be About Having a “Backup”

At the youth level, goalies are still developing.

One may be ahead now.

The other may improve dramatically in six months.

One goalie may have a terrible month and then suddenly get hot.

Development moves unpredictably.

Labeling one child “the starter” and another “the backup” too early can create unnecessary limits.

Both need meaningful opportunities.

Should Young Goalies Split Games?

One of the most thought-provoking parts of the episode is the discussion around rotating young goalies during games.

Some developmental models rotate them every few minutes.

Others switch by period.

Others split games.

Why?

Because sitting on the bench for an entire youth game does not create development.

It also gives coaches opportunities to talk with the goalie who has come off.

Think about the skaters.

They play a shift.

Come back.

Receive feedback.

Rest.

Return.

Why should a nine-year-old goalie necessarily need to play 45 consecutive minutes while their teammate watches?

It is worth reconsidering.

Communication Matters Before You Change the System

There is one major requirement.

Tell the goalies what is happening.

Lee shares an example of a team rotating goalies frequently without explaining the plan first.

The players understandably thought they were being pulled because they had done something wrong.

Development strategies only work when players understand them.

Communication removes unnecessary anxiety.

Give Goalies Coaching Too

Goalies can easily become an afterthought at practice.

The coach organizes:

Breakouts.

Forechecks.

Passing.

Battle drills.

Power play.

Then someone finally remembers:

“Oh yeah, we need a goalie.”

That is not development.

Lee makes a point of spending dedicated time with his goalies.

Sometimes he coaches directly.

Other times a goalie coach is there and he simply observes and supports.

That still matters.

The goalie sees:

My coach cares about my position.

Head Coaches Should Learn the Position

You do not have to become an elite goalie coach.

But you should understand enough to support the player.

Hutch recommends goalie education opportunities such as USA Hockey’s goalie coaching programs.

A little knowledge can dramatically improve:

• Drill design

• Communication

• Workload

• Feedback

• Expectations

The goal is not specialization.

The goal is awareness.

Design Better Practices for Everyone

A goalie-friendly practice does not require running completely separate drills all night.

Often, a small adjustment helps everyone.

Consider a simple shooting drill.

Player shoots.

Then skates into the corner.

Instead:

Player shoots.

Goes to the net.

Screens.

Looks for the rebound.

Now the skater practices game habits.

And the goalie practices dealing with traffic.

Everyone improves.

Ask: Does This Happen in a Game?

That question should guide practice planning.

Does a five-on-zero happen regularly?

Does a two-on-zero happen every shift?

Does a player normally skate around a cone and shoot from three feet away while nobody pressures them?

Some drills still serve technical purposes.

But the more realistic the environment becomes, the more useful the repetition becomes.

Do Not Turn Your Goalie Into a Shooting Target

Skill sessions can become dangerous for goalies when every skater finishes by skating straight toward the crease and ripping a shot from point-blank range.

That may be fun for the shooter.

It may not create anything useful for the goalie.

Think about:

Distance.

Traffic.

Movement.

Read.

Timing.

Whether the goalie has a realistic opportunity to make the save.

Goalies need difficult reps.

They do not need pointless ones.

Quality Reps Beat Endless Reps

This is especially important because goalie workload is enormous.

A goalie may see 20 or 30 shots in a game.

In practice, they can see hundreds.

That is a huge physical and mental workload.

Hutch notes that professional goalie coaches often prefer a handful of high-quality repetitions followed by rest.

Why?

Because exhaustion creates shortcuts.

Technique breaks down.

Goalies cheat.

Now they are practicing habits you do not actually want.

Goalies Need Permission to Rest

Young goalies often will not voluntarily leave the net.

They are competitive.

They do not want to appear tired.

They may worry the coach will interpret stepping out as quitting.

Tell them explicitly:

“You can take a rep off.”

“Get some water.”

“Reset.”

Then come back and execute correctly.

The skaters rest between reps.

Goalies should too.

Use Video Carefully

Technology makes game video incredibly accessible.

GoPros.

LiveBarn.

Phones.

Tablets.

Parents can replay almost anything.

That can be incredibly useful.

It can also become dangerous.

Do not turn every night into a three-hour frame-by-frame analysis of everything your goalie did incorrectly.

That teaches the player to constantly search for imperfections.

Look for the Good Stuff

Video can be used to reinforce progress.

Find the moment where the goalie:

Tracked properly.

Arrived square.

Read the play.

Recovered correctly.

Made the movement they had been practicing.

Those clips matter.

The goal is not to create a false picture that everything was perfect.

It is to help the player actually see growth.

Learning Should Feel Like Progress

Hutch uses a great comparison.

Watch a kid trying to learn a skateboard trick.

They may fail dozens of times.

Why do they keep going?

Because they can feel themselves getting closer.

“Almost.”

“Almost.”

“I nearly had it.”

Then they try again.

Goalie development needs more of that feeling.

Replace “Wrong” With “Closer”

Instead of:

“You did that wrong.”

try:

“That route was better.”

“You got there square.”

“You were closer that time.”

“You made the right read.”

Technical improvement still happens.

But the player also understands that progress occurred.

That encourages another attempt.

Coaches: What Are You Saying During Games?

Skaters get constant interaction.

They come off the ice.

Coach speaks.

They sit.

They process.

Goalies do not have that rhythm.

A goalie may play an entire period before having a real conversation with a coach.

So what you say matters.

Between periods is probably not the time to walk in and say:

“You should have had that first one.”

The goalie knows a goal went in.

The goalie already wants it back.

What does that comment accomplish?

Probably nothing useful.

Trying Harder Does Not Always Help a Goalie

Hutch makes a fascinating point:

Goaltending may be one of the few positions where simply “trying harder” during the game can make performance worse.

A goalie who tightens up may become slower.

Overaggressive.

Reactive.

Desperate.

The work happens beforehand.

Practice habits.

Sleep.

Nutrition.

Preparation.

Once the game begins, the goalie needs to trust that work.

That is why adding emotional pressure during the game can backfire.

Even NHL Goalies Struggle

Through InGoal Magazine and hundreds of podcast conversations, Hutch has spent time with many NHL goaltenders.

One lesson stands out.

They are people.

They doubt themselves.

They get frustrated.

They struggle.

They feel pressure.

Some experience major adversity for the first time only after reaching professional hockey because they were so dominant while developing.

That should be reassuring to young goalies.

Struggle does not mean you are not meant for the position.

It means you are learning something the position requires.

Development Is Not Linear

Kids walk at different ages.

Talk at different ages.

Read at different ages.

They develop hockey skills at different ages too.

One goalie may develop technically first.

Another develops mentally first.

Another grows later physically.

Another suddenly puts everything together at 16.

You cannot perfectly predict the outcome at 10.

That is why development needs patience.

The Message for Goalie Parents

Your child does not need you to become another goalie coach in the car.

They need a parent.

Support them.

Help them notice progress.

Celebrate their battle.

Allow them to process hard games.

Encourage responsibility without encouraging self-blame.

Help them support their goalie partner.

Keep statistics in perspective.

And remember that every game does not need a full technical autopsy.

Sometimes the most helpful words are simple:

“I loved watching you compete today.”

That confidence, perspective, and resilience may ultimately help them far more than obsessing over one goal ever could.

Keep listening to Our Kids Play Goalie for more conversations that help goalies, parents, coaches, and teammates better understand the most unique position in hockey—and the person inside the equipment.