Our Girls Play Hockey: Why Rest Can Make You a Better Hockey Player

SPEAKER_01 1:15

This episode is powered by NHL Sense Arena. Hello, hockey friends and families around the world, and welcome back to another edition of Our Girls Play Hockey. It's Lee Elias with Mike Benelli and Haley Skimora. Just like saying your name like that, Haley. It's too much. It was too much, but I made it one day. Guys, today's episode is going to be a good one. We're going to dive into something we've talked about before, but in a little bit of a different way. It's the best things we ever did away from the rink. Right. So in previous episodes, we've talked a lot about how it's important to play other sports, it's important to have other hobbies and other likes. But you know, we realize we never really dove into like what do we do? What are the things that we do away from the rink? When we were playing hockey or coaching hockey, winning gold medals in the Olympics, things like that. I mean, only one of us can say that, but that's fine. Um, but that's what we're gonna discuss today. Uh, you know, not quite a peek behind the curtain, but want to share, you know, the life beyond the hockey life. We are all hockey obsessed. If you're listening to this show, there's a good chance you or you know someone who is hockey obsessed. There's no hotline for that. You're you're you're at the hotline, that's what this show is, right? But let's talk about a little bit. So, Haley, I'm gonna start with you. Let's just go back to like the youth for all three of us, right? What's something or one thing you intentionally did outside of hockey that you believe made you better at hockey or better at at that world?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Outside of sports, like in general? Sure. Oh, I mean, that's a harder answer for me if I'm being honest. I think my like my family, like we just we connected through sports. Uh so honestly, it was usually just different sports. Like in the summer, we did a lot of tennis and soccer together. Um, and then the fall, I kind of started with soccer and then would go into hockey later. Uh, but some of my best friends came from my soccer team. Like that's I still have day ones from those from those days that I'm still friends with today. And um, you know, tennis we still play to this day. Like that's a sport that we all share together. Like my dad's what is he, 67, I think. Or no, is he 70 now? Oh my gosh. Anyway, but that's a sport we get to play together all the time. And so those are things that like those are the memories I really cherished. Um, another thing we did, my my mom had gotten the lake house. Uh, those are some of my favorite memories. So we it was in Lake Canandegua, for those that know, it's like upstate New York area. And we would just spend weeks out of the summer, just like we had like an inflatable like trampoline uh thing that went in the lake. And then uh we had little pontoon boats we'd bike out there. We would just play board games inside, and it was just some of the best times, and it had nothing to do with sports. And I think those are some of my favorite memories for sure.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Well, that's a really good answer. Like, let me ask you this. So, one of the things I remember when I was younger, it was very hard for me to turn the competitive engine off. And I think when I was younger, actually, I didn't realize that that was a skill of sorts, right? It was it was very uh primordial, if you will. Like, like I knew I was competitive, but I couldn't control it yet. And sometimes uh I know when I would uh it doesn't sound funny, but like go to have fun, go to the beach, go do something else. There was always a small part of me that would question like maybe I should be training or maybe I should be doing this. When I look back, um, you know, I'm happy I did some of those, and I'll get more into my things in a minute. But like you, the way you just lit up when you talked about that lake house, right? Yeah, listening to the episode, you you can see it's like a core memory, it's an important part of that upbringing. So, how were you able to disassociate? Let me ask you this way was it easy to disassociate, or did you kind of have to, you know, did it take time? And then you were able to, you know, I don't want to use the word relax, but yeah, you know, acclimate to not being on the ice or not being on the field on the pitch.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

It was an adjustment, I think. Um, you know, for our family, it was shortly after my parents got divorced. And so I think that was also a factor in all of it. And my dad was always very like sports-centric, like we always had to be doing some sort of sport or some sort of athletic activity, a workout, whatever it might be. Uh, but then like with my mom, I think it was important for her to just be like, you know what, we're gonna have this time away from sports and just to have fun with your friends, like nothing related to sports. Um, and I do think that was really important for me. It was a lesson that I think I take to this day. Like I still have had to work on it throughout my whole career to allow myself to take breaks, that it's okay to rest. Um, and it's okay to have fun outside of sports. And it's better for you, honestly. It helps kind of reset your mind, reset your body, all that fun stuff. So I think for us, it was a big um, it was a big healing thing for me, I think, at that age. Because I definitely was like, you know, and it makes you miss it too, which I think is a good thing, kind of going back into it. But um, it was really important for me to kind of see like, okay, there's other things to do outside of sports, and you can have fun with your friends and not have it be related to sports.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Yeah. Interesting you use the word healing, uh, because I agree with you. It's kind of what it feels like. It and this is why I want to do this episode, because I think someone who is not obsessed with a game would like, what do you mean, healing? Like, like, like you know what I mean? But like, like, but I I kind of get it now. Because if that's stuff you get to do all the time, uh, it takes on a different connotation in your head, right? Like, for for the the athlete, the game calls to you all the time. And I I if you either get that statement or you don't, all right, because it doesn't matter how long I I I could get away from the game for a time, it will call to me at some point. You can call me crazy or call me obsessed, but that's the truth. The game calls to you, but it is so important, as you said, hey, like you've you you've got to disassociate for a time, and then I think you brought up another good point of yeah, there's a period of time that it takes to kind of let go a little bit, and that I found that to be one of the hardest things to do as someone who's kind of always going, always moving, just to say, hey, listen, man, like just take a second, right? Uh, and and it takes sometimes it takes a day, or you know what? My favorite um vacation uh and Mike, I'm gonna throw it to you because you get to go to Norway every year. But one of my favorite things that somebody told me about vacation is it takes about a week for you to get ready for vacation, like one just in time for you to go back, right? That's why I always tell people if you can take a two-week vacation, it's gonna take you five days to get into vacation mode. And I don't think we spend enough time on that just in general, thinking, oh, I need a minute to come come down from wherever I'm at. But uh, Mike, I'm gonna throw it to you too, because like I live vicariously through both of you. Mike, Mike, you get to go to Norway every year. You're fishing, uh, you're eating exotic food. That's what I'll say. If you have anybody been in Norway, you know what I'm talking about. Mike, you can say that if you want. Um, you know, but but you seem to really understand how to do that. And uh and Mike, again, uh you've been in the game a little longer than me, right? Like, I'm always looking for the wisdom from these situations too.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

I mean, I certainly echo you know Haley in in the in the in this in the sense of you know, this is what we tell our athletes, and this is I live by this when I was an athlete, you know, back in the day when I was training and and and and and competing and wanting to play at the college level and at the higher levels than that, right? But you you're always you're you're training, but you have to you must get a chance to to to let your body reset, let your mind reset. It just means the different things outside of the game. It doesn't mean you gotta go, you know, bonbons and taco bell for eight weeks. It just means definitely not Taco Bell right now. Yeah, it's just yeah, right. It just it just it just means that you know that that resetting part. And I think, you know, Haley, you know, it's great that you had that um, you know, that that that that push and pull, uh, you know, you know, unfortunately your parents are divorced, but at the same time, you had voices of reason. Like my wife's the voice of reason. Like, like when like like you know, like when we first started going to Norway, uh, for me, it wasn't it's not a vacation, it was work. You know, I was going to do hockey schools and bringing players over there and bring you know 20 or 30 people over there. And then I'm like, wow, this is I'm just gonna stay here for another two weeks. Like, why would I leave? I'm here already, you know. And then, you know, my wife's family's from there. So it's always been very and my my kids love going there. So to me, it's always been like a great reset because I get to uh, you know, it's a different time zone, so you're not, you know, you can actually, you know, it's funny. I could work without anybody you know bothering me, and then and then I can and I can resume work later on, you know, because everybody else is sleeping. So it's it's just it's one of those weird uh you know it opportunities for me because I could go over, work, do some hockey, meet some great hockey people. Uh the worlds, I mean, I've been going there for 20 years. So like the worlds of where you know Europe and Scandinavia were to now, like it used to be when we went over there. I mean, it literally when I start first started going over there, it was the days of, oh my god, you have Levi T. I mean that's how crazy it was. I mean, it it sounds like like like you know centuries ago, but you know, now it's just you know, the worlds are smaller, you know, the whole world is smaller, right? So being in a different place and having a computer and getting online and working, it's you you I think today's athlete um you know can decompress quicker and still stay connected. I think today, you know, I think you're able to you know go to the beach house, go to the lake house, go away, and not be completely disconnected. Um, and but at the same time, uh knowing that disconnecting is so important.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

And I think you know, a lot of kids and a lot of parents, right? A lot of there's I mean, and I'll say I'll I'll be the same way. Like I'll watch the kids sitting around, and uh my younger guy is much better at it. But I'm like, well, we are you doing anything today? Like, what are you doing today? Dad, it's summer. Like, I'm gonna stay in my I'm literally gonna stay in my my uh bathing suit for 12 hours today. And I think it's and there's nothing wrong with that because you know when I think back when I was 19 and 20 years old and 25, and you know, I was that that's what you did. You know, you didn't there's nobody saying, Oh my god, you're on a training schedule, why aren't you out there working out? Um, but at the same time, real competitive, elite athletes, athletes that are um, you know, really conscious of where they want to go, know that there is a time limit to that, and they do know there's a window that they have to that's gonna close quickly, and and they gotta enjoy it while they can and then get back to work.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

It it's interesting. I wrote a few notes based on what you said, Mike. You know, you brought up your wife. I think we we gotta bring up our spouses here because one of the things I remember I hear a lot of spouses say, or you know, I hear this from my friends is like we don't always have to do hockey, we don't always have to do sports. And I'll tell you what, what my wife, my wife said it differently, one time, and um it really changed how I look at things. She said, uh, not that not that she's ever nagged, she's and I gotta say this both our wives, Mike, and Hala, you too, right? With with Nick, like very supportive of what we do, like extremely supportive of what we do. But I remember one time she said, you know, it's okay not to do hockey all the time. That's how she wanted it. And until she said that, I I never I never thought about it. Like she's right, and you know, you know what's funny, and I'm I'm gonna make this really real for all the parents listening because Halo, you're still in it, right? You're still very much in the game. Um, when you're done playing, you can almost get sucked back in even more because you got the kids playing, you got the teams you're coaching, and it's like, no, I gotta do this, it's it's my job, right? Uh, and you gotta remind yourself, hey, it's okay not to do this. It's so awesome to have the game surround you every single day. We are all so blessed that every day hockey is involved in our day. Like, I don't I don't want to uh not sugarcoat that for the audience. Like it's a blessing, but but even we need breaks, right? And it's like I had to start telling myself, hey man, it's okay. And I'll give you, I wrote down like an example here. I want to give the those those examples from my past. I used to live uh when my wife was in the air force, we lived in a place called Destin, Florida, Fort Walton Beach, Florida. Uh, it's near Pensacola. Anybody from that region knows Destin. If you don't know Destin, it's it's like Florida's best kept secret. That's kind of what they call themselves. The beaches are snow white. I'm not kidding. I was married down there. People think I'm standing in snow in my wedding pictures, right? And it's just some of the most beautiful beaches, type of water. You know, when you stand in the water, you can see your feet clearly in the water. Okay. And I remember I was probably in my late 20s, early 30s when I was there. And when I look back at that time now, it's not that I didn't enjoy my time there, but I remember I could not get to the beach and seem to calm down at the beach. I had days on pontoons because my mind was always trying to go someplace else. And what I wish I had done differently, and I'm blessed I could still go back there, right? Like it's not like we can't do this, but I probably would have slowed down a little bit and enjoyed that. Now, what played into that? Well, I'm a hockey guy and I'm in the Caribbean and then the Gulf, and it's like, oh, I'm a hockey guy down here, I gotta do hockey. It would have been okay for me to go sit in the Gulf for a day and relax. And I think the more time we were down there three years, by the third year, I figured I think I figured out how to do that, but then we were gone, right? And the next stop was England, which is the polar opposite of the Gulf. All right, but England has plenty of its own wonderful things too. Um, but I wish I had known how to relax there at that time, right? And now I want to go back there to kind of go sit on the beach because I get older, you kind of want to do that, right? Um, so I think about that. The other thing you brought up, Mike, and this is important, Haley. I'm gonna throw this back to you in a minute, too. Is you brought up your kids, like dad, it's summer. You know, it's such a paradox with kids because we ride them so hard during the school year. We've said this on episodes before. If you had to do full day of school, practice twice a week with games, right? Like if we had to do that as adults, adults, right? It's like, man, that's actually quite a lot. And then we get to the summer and we're kind of surprised they want to relax, right? And then, like, our brains will go, well, we gotta work, we got you don't know how hard you have it. And like, you know, I'm like, no, or how easy you have it. It's like, no, they don't, and that's the point, because there's not one adult that I know that wouldn't want to go back to being 15 sitting on the couch and relaxing. You might have done things differently, right? But it's like again, it's a paradox, right? So sometimes the kids can teach us, like, dad, I just want to hang out by the pool today.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

Well, it's just a you know, and and and I and I it's just a reminder, too. Like I said, you know, I think me and my wife, you know, it was funny, like she, you know, we were together before we had kids, right? So like she watched me work with thousands of athletes, like thousands of athletes, like the athletes that I pushed, I demanded, that I said, What do you mean you're taking the day off? Like, there is absolutely no way if you take the day off, you will fail. Yeah, and this is the kind of you know, this is the kind of like, and so she watched these thousands of young men and women go through these training pro and had the same dreams, same expectations, all wanted it. And you know, and she knows that 99% of them uh did not become hockey players, like it made no relevant uh you know, impact on their life from a from a professional point of view.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Yeah, right? No, it was a good life. We all know like Callie's story, right?

SPEAKER_03 16:37

We all know the one percenters, like that's just the people that make it. But I mean, thinking Callie, we talked about this, right? That there's hundreds of young ladies and men that that were at the same level as you at 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 years old. You're like, they didn't make it. So somebody's not gonna make it, right? And I think that's where like my perspective has been helped by people outside the hockey obsession group. You know, my wife loves hockey, obviously. But but there's a there's a point that says, well, is it really, really important? And we've had episodes, I think we've had multiple episodes actually, you know, talking about like, okay, you you miss that weekend tournament, it's not gonna change your life. Like it's not, you know, you miss that summer chowder cup, yeah, it's probably not gonna, you know, it's not gonna make the biggest impact on on your career. Um, but again, you know, it's it's the it's it's every like everything else, it's the balance. And if you were doing a different profession and it wasn't sport, uh you couldn't just like you're a computer programmer, you couldn't just unplug for you know four months and come back and because the whole world has been changed, right? So it's like it's just knowing knowing what your your threshold is and and then knowing you know what your body tells you needs to be done, and your brain needs to be done. And I love Haley's description about like I missed it. Like that's the that's the thing I want the most for everybody. Like I want them to be like, I miss this. Like, and then you see the person come back, like, hold my crap! Like, did this person work out all summer? No, he doesn't do anything all the time. He's just he's just he just he or she just wants to go, like they're so motivated to go, they're at another level of of intensity.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

You know, it's funny you bring that up, Mike. So um, I don't think I've told the audience this. So I was on a call yesterday uh with someone who had not seen me in in several months. Okay. So for the audience, again, I didn't publicly talk about this. I had my left shoulder totally replaced uh last March, right? So it's a pretty major operation. And prior to that surgery, uh, I was dealing with a lot of arthritis and a lot of different uh levels of pain. We'll just say it that way. And this is this is one of the only people I have talked to that I have not seen since before that surgery. And he came on the call, and first thing he said to me was, You look a lot different. And he couldn't figure it out. He's like, What is it? Like he's like, You look just way different, like you've been working out, you've been doing it. And I said, No, I said I had my my shoulder. He's like, It he said you look younger, you look, you look more awake, and he's probably right, right? And it's like you don't realize how much something is draining you again. This is a bit of an extreme example, but like I didn't realize how much it was draining me until after it was fixed, right? And it's like, yeah, I can sense now there's a lot going on, but no, no, I didn't hit the gym extra hard. That that operation forced me to for two weeks to do almost nothing, all right. And then I had to kind of rebuild myself. And what's cool is Mike, you're talking about in Haley about missing it. Well, now my brain's starting to discover all these things I can do again, and like, hey, I I to the point of I wasn't even thinking about doing these things when my shoulder was severely injured. Now it's like, hey, I can do this, I can do that. Uh, you know, playing hockey at a competitive level, not one of the things, don't worry. My surgeon or wife is listening. Um, but yeah, like I it forced me to take a break, and it reminds me of something that my my father said to me, which is if you if you go too far, your body will find a way to make you take a break. And that will either be you will get sick, you will get injured, or you will physically pass out. All right, but your body will stop you and let you know when it's too much. It's can you start to recognize the signs? And I think that what we find as we get older, um, and by older I mean like you know, even teens into 20s and the 30s, is you do kind of reach those breaking points and you start to understand, okay, hey, now I'm reaching my breaking point. You start to recognize that, okay. Again, I don't want to go off the rails with the episode, it just made me think about that. Um, Haley, going back to you, this here's a paradoxical question, right? Because like we can't go back and change things. You've achieved the pinnacle of hockey with the gold medal. Looking back at your entire youth experience, do you think that there were days that you pushed yourself, you know, to go to the gym, to get on the ice? And I'm not saying that wasn't the right decision, but do you think you could have given a few of those days back to maybe take a day off? And there's no right or wrong answer here. The answer to that might be no, right? Because it's it's you pushing yourself through is where you got to where you're at, right? So, like I'm I'm not saying could you have taken months off? I'm saying, do you think there were times where you had another thing on the table that you could have said, you know what, I can do that today. Um, and what were the fears associated with that?

SPEAKER_00 21:14

You know what? A funny story comes to mind. So I had a middle school dance, and I remember my dad really wanted me to practice on that day. And I'm like, is this necessary? Like, I really want to go to this dance. I went to the practice, my hands smelled so bad that when I did the like, okay, middle school dances, everyone, hands are on the shoulder. You know what I mean? Like, it's very, it's so silly, like it's so cute, right? But so dancing with this boy, I will never forget my hands go on his shoulder. He turns and he's like, Oh and I was so embarrassed, and then I never danced with anyone the rest of the night. And you know, when I look back on that, I'm like, Dad, I could have maybe not practiced that day. Like, I was really excited about that dance, you know what I mean? So it's just kind of funny to look back on, and then like as I got older, I didn't care about those dances as much, and I did choose myself to go to hockey things. Uh, but when you did mention that, that was my first story that came to mind.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

I hope he's listening.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

I also do.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

I mean, I hope he knows, like, I I danced with Haley Skimora in middle school.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

I I understand that now I understand this.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I understand. It's a great story, Haley, because it's like it's those little moments that I think about too of like, um, you know, it didn't sound like you know, well, well, maybe that was a choice, maybe it wasn't. You were you were getting asked to do it. Yeah, and again, I I say it's paradoxical because if you don't make those choices, you don't know what happens. I think the point I'm trying to make is once in a while.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

Yes, I I also I also think it's a as a as a parent, like and again, I I I I know we talk about this a lot, but it it's also but I also think it's worth you know can continuing to bring it up, right? Is that as a parent, you you only are seeing like today.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

Like you're you only see like, oh my God, okay, well, and then your mind starts going, well. If you miss today and then you go don't go Saturday, now what happens Sunday? And now Monday comes around and now you haven't worked out since Tuesday. Like, so it's all this, it's all this, you know. You know, I say this to kids all the time, like that in the summer when we're training, and and and the kids I work with, like I'm like, okay, well, what does your calendar look like? Because you're telling me if you're going to a tournament on Saturday, you're preparing you're just like to your point about vacation, right? Like you're going to a tournament on Saturday, so you're not working out on Friday, you have a game on Sunday, you come home on Monday, you're not working out. Tuesday, you're you're now you're kind of in a recovery day, and now you're now you're now you're working out Wednesday. So now by going to one tournament for six hours, yeah, you've blown a whole week of training. And so where where is your training going to pick up? Like, where are you? So I think you know, to Haley's point, your dad, you know, I mean, and I do this all the time. Like, I'm thinking, like, okay, yes, you're gonna go to this, but you're gonna miss this, and then it's gonna turn into this. And that's such a hard thing for parents, coaches, trainers. It's really difficult to really look at the bigger picture and then pick and choose, like, okay, what really is? And then, and then if you are gonna make the choice, right, Haley, how are you gonna make it up? Like, what are you gonna do? You're gonna enjoy this now, you're gonna have your candy bar, but how do you mix it up?

SPEAKER_01 24:30

I I'll tell you this. Um I I I'm actually gonna give an actionable item for the audience here. And and Haley, I'm gonna ask you to kind of reinforce this because I believe that you do this. I think this is so much about building great habits. All right. And I'll tell you right now, when I was training as a kid, I took 500 shots forehand and backhand every day that I was not on the ice. Okay, even some days when I was on the ice, I did it. Okay, and the reason I'm bringing that up, and I'm not parents, I'm not suggesting you do this to your kids. I'm saying I built a habit of doing this. I needed to do it. My accuracy was not great when I was 12, 13 years old. I had to work on it and I wanted to do it. But building that habit, built something of if if I did miss a day, I had to get back into the habit. All right, like I never missed enough time where it was like, you know what, I don't really feel like taking 500 shots. It was, no, I took off yesterday, I gotta get back to it today. I have so many habits like that in my life. Like, I got I'm a big again, this is me. This does not have to be anybody else. Where I'm at in my life, I'm big on taking 10,000 steps a day. Some people take a lot more, some people take a lot less, but that's my thing. And it's like I've gotten the habit of walking at certain times of the day. And when I don't get a walk-in, think about this, right? If it's raining outside, I'm not gonna go out in the pouring rain. I will go out in the freezing cold, but I won't go out in the pouring rain. And I might not walk 10,000 steps, but the habit is there the next day, and it's very easy to get back to it. What I've learned to do with where I'm at now is if it is raining, I don't have the fear anymore of, oh, if I don't do this, I'm gonna stop doing it completely. I think that's where most people lose their way of oh, I I do this thing and I stopped for a couple days and now I don't do it anymore. Well, it wasn't a habit then, all right? It was wishful thinking. So, Haley, at your level, uh habits are everything for training. Like you can't just stop training. I mean, it's your livelihood, right? Yeah, I'd be interested to hear now in the offseason, I'm sure you're training, but you're also traveling a ton. We just talked the other day. You were in New York and Vegas, you got to get back to Vegas at some point. Like, yeah, you probably have these habits built up, correct?

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Oh, for sure. And I think, you know, I I've been doing a good job like finding the balance of all of that. So sometimes like when I'm on a trip, I'm like, if I try to work out today, I'm going to set myself back in the future.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

And I'm able to kind of decipher the difference of like, hey, I can push through and have a workout today, or you know what? If I work out today, I ain't working out the rest of this trip. Like so that's kind of how it was for me. Cause like I, you know, when we got to the Espies, like it was the day of the Espies. I couldn't work out that day. And I'm like, you know what? That's okay. And then when we got to Vegas, um again, it was like two in the afternoon, exhausted from the night before. I was like, okay, just let myself rest today. I'll see how I feel tomorrow morning. And then that morning came and I was like, I'm excited to work out. I I can do it. Like, I'm good. And so I went in, did a workout that morning, felt great, and it set me up for the weekend. Like I just felt good for the whole weekend.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

Do you think it's also because of the people you're around? I'm I guarantee if you're in the in the hotel, there's another, you know, eight athletes working out, right? I mean, it's not, it's not just you by yourself. Everybody else is like, oh, I got to the pool out of margarita earlier.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Yeah. And we all, and what's cool too is like we all just did it on our own. Like none of us really scheduled it together. So we all kind of went in at different times. I just couldn't sleep in. So I was there pretty early. Um, but other girls kind of, or they went for a run, you know, down the strip and stuff like that. So people just did whatever they needed to do for themselves, but no one was like, hey, anyone want to come work out at this time? It's like, no, we all just went in, did our routine, and got out. And again, I think it set me up really well for the weekend. I was able to kind of just have fun the rest of that weekend. And then I got right back to it on that Monday. Uh, because my big thing is I usually just train Monday through Friday. Um, sometimes I'll do something light on a Saturday, depending on how I'm feeling. But overall, I usually leave weekends to like be with family, hang out with friends, uh, do something for me outside of sport. I think is super important. Um, just with our offseason. Exactly. Yes, I'll do tennis with my dad. Like if I if I am in Buffalo, like we'll play tennis together where he just runs me, basically, because he's so good at hit, he's so good at hitting the balls. Like that would be my conditioning. But honestly, it's so much fun. Like, I absolutely love it. So it's great.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Halo, you you said you said do something for you.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Can you can you I mean, what does that mean? Like what what do you do for you?

SPEAKER_00 28:54

For me, I mean, whether that's like I mean, it could be as simple as me just hanging out watching a show, like on my couch, like not doing anything. I think it can be, I love puzzling. That's another thing I like to do. So sit down with a nice puzzle, relax, um, maybe go out to eat, maybe go out to like a restaurant, go on a date, go, you know, something like that. Uh, go see family, I think is another big one. Uh, it's when more of us are free. So you have more free time to like kind of hang out and be together. Um just different things like that, or just being out in nature, going on a hike, that's another good one too. Cause I feel like that's a way to like kind of stay active, but also be enjoy your time in nature and not think of it as exercise. It's just more so um letting your mind rest and yeah, uh the power of nature too. So just different things like that.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

And you have a furry friend at home too, correct?

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Yes, yes. So we'll take Lexi on walks or go play with her outside. Her favorite thing is to play fetch, she just you know goes on sprints all the time. I heard a fun and I'm like, I might need this level of uh work.

SPEAKER_01 30:03

It's funny. I heard a funny quote about dogs that that is true, right? Which is every dog that plays fetch thinks you invented that game for them. Yes, right, and it's like it's funny because like, yeah, we all know fetch, but you know, the dog doesn't know that we all know fetch, the dog thinks that's your special game with them. I always thought that's a pretty pretty interesting thought, but you know, I'm gonna use the word here too that you know it it disassociates. This allows you to disassociate with where the obsessed mind is all the time and do something else. And I'm like you, I like to do active things and get out and and like I go for long walks. You know, one of the things that you know, I talk about you know, the audience knows like I'm an author, I'm a writer, it's one of my jobs. Um, and I find so much creativity comes from those walks or being active and just getting outside, or even just standing in the grass with my shoes off, like like I don't want to get into grounding with everybody about what that is, but like I find that to be very powerful, right? Uh it doesn't just have to be in the shower where your good ideas come. But you know, it's funny is on that point, the reason why you all of us have really great thoughts in the shower is because you're disassociated, right? Your senses are being activated with other things, you're not thinking about most of the time your your life outside of the shower. That's why you have this creativity. Um, but you know, I really love to write at this point in my life. That I would not have said that when I was 17. Well, maybe I would have, not not as much as I um, I'm also uh avid into reading now, right? You know, it's funny, Haley, just thinking about this. When I was a teenager, I if you asked me when I was 12, I probably would have told you I hate to read, I hate it. Um, but all I needed was to find the right book. And what's funny is this was very random. Uh, someone handed me a book called Magician, which has nothing to do with hockey, nothing. And for whatever reason, whatever age I was at, it was probably 14 years old. I fell in love with that series. It was a book by Raymond E. Feist. I'll throw it out, throw him in a shout out here. Uh, and it's like 20 books, and man, I just started reading like crazy. I just found the right book, had nothing to do with hockey, which I find funny. Now, I do read a lot of hockey books now, all right, but I have a joy of reading. I think it's important to bring this up because I think that that book allowed me to disassociate with the game at a time I didn't realize I even needed that, right? Because it's so easy to say, Well, I don't want to disassociate with the game, I don't want to get away. We you gotta do it, you gotta do it. Or as we said, you gotta miss the game sometimes to build into it. I wrote a couple um other things down here, quotes that I I see everywhere. Hey, no days off, no days off. There's no days off. Um, it depends how you look at it, okay? Because part of me does agree with the set sentiment of no days off, but you gotta look at it as the days off are part of no days off. All right. I hope that makes makes sense. Like your mental fitness is part of the no days off. No days off is gonna exhaust you if you do it literally, right? I again I got another quote I want to go into here, but but anybody have any thoughts on that? Like the no days off. Like reality is you should take some days off, but that's part of the process. Like, I think we're sending the wrong message if we tell every kid don't ever stop.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

Yeah, I I mean, just from my perspective, uh you know, especially now, I think no days off is just meaning that you've planned the day off. Yeah, I like it. Like I think I think it's just it's like you know you have no, you don't know no days off, but you can't like listen, uh the NCAA had to have a rule about that, right? Like that you have to give a day off. Like you can't just go, like, because all of us as coaches would go, we'll find a way to get him on, you know, we get him in the gym or get him in the classroom or get him on the ice. And I think that's where you know the ability to say, well, I I've scheduled in my this is my my my I I'm not taking off, but this is a recovery day for me. I like the way you're saying that. Recovery day is whatever it is, it could be anything, it could be reading a book, uh I uh it could be fishing, it could be playing golf, maybe it's tennis because it's not like a sports-centric, but it's just it it really is just scheduling it in so there's no gaps, right? Like so there's no like ambiguity about well, what are you doing? Uh I don't know. Like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Well, I know next Tuesday, like that's why it's you know, that's why we can schedule these with Haley, right? You can say like, I know next Tuesday at 11 o'clock, I have space. Like I can put this into my schedule. And I think that's when you're an athlete, whether you're a high school athlete, you know, uh uh, you know, whether you're 18, 19, a college athlete, a pro athlete, that's why it's so crucial to have the plan. Because that is that's that's your time, that's your time to make sure you aren't taking any days off, but you are taking time for recovery.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Yeah, have a plan, I think, Mike, is the key there to what you just said. And I agree with that 100% because you know, when I meet people or kids with no plan, that's when you're taking days off. Right? And it's like uh weeks off. I mean, no plan.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

Like I love, like I love listening to the kids saying, hey, I'm going away. Great, what are you doing when you're away? Oh, I'm doing this, we're doing that, we're doing this. Oh, and by the way, I'm figuring out a way, I'm gonna be hiking this mountain and I'm and I'm centering on a goal. I have a goal to get up there in an hour and a half or whatever. Like these are things that you can incorporate into your into your overall fitness plan, right? That that says to me as the coach and you as the athlete, I am committed to getting better. This is my plan to do it. It doesn't mean I have to be at the at the squat rack. I could be doing something else to accomplish the goal that you and I want for me.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

I I would say this I don't know too many high performers that don't have a plan, right? They plan their their rest, like you said, right? And again, look, the uh that's not a shot at non-high performers, I guess, but like if you want to be a high performer, that's the way I should have said it, you gotta have a plan. You gotta have a plan, right? And Haley, for you, how much of that plan is organic versus like USA hockey or your PWHL team saying, here's the plan?

SPEAKER_00 36:02

I mean, off season, it's all on you. So I think that's the that's the time where you really have to be very intentional with your schedule um and figure it out, and especially with all the traveling I've been doing, it's been being extra intentional. And honestly, I kind of have to make the plan like the Sunday before.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

Um, it's hard for me. I can have a rough outline of it prior, but like so many things just kind of come up or things just happen, and you have to be okay to be adaptable with your plans.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

Which is hard. It's hard to do.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

It is. I've had to get really good at it. Um, it has been a difficult journey because, like, especially like if my plan ever got altered like in years past or in summers past, I would be so stressed and so anxious about it. I would be a wreck. And then luckily, like with Nick, he's been so helpful with that journey because it's just like you're not like you're making this worse on yourself, like with all this worry and all this anxiety. Like, you're not gonna be able to train effectively if you're feeling this way about your training. Like you need to get into a better, a better mindset about it. You have to be adaptable and like also realize like a slight switch in the schedule or like one day off is not gonna like you're not gonna lose everything.

SPEAKER_02 37:07

Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Um, you're not gonna all of a sudden be completely out of shape that you like you're like you're set back. Like you are stronger than you realize, you are more ready than you realize at all times.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

I will say there's an under 40 and over 40 version of that. But that's that's fair. Go ahead, Mike.

SPEAKER_03 37:23

Helly, I'm wondering, like, you know, I I know from the men's side, and and certainly from your winter season, I think that's why so many athletes struggle after their after their careers, right? Because during your career, everything's done for you, like everything's measured, and your agent says, Oh, this is who you're working out with, and this is your time. And I have a trainer, and I have like all the people taking care of all this stuff, and I'm just following my schedule. Like, you know, like, oh, breakfast is here, my nap is here, the engineering is here, the bus is here, like all that kind of stuff's taken care of from a team perspective. And I think that's you know, I I actually love that part of it. Like when I was coaching, like I love the monotony of it. I love that I love the scheduling of it because it just made it to your point. Like, all of a sudden, I think that's why teams are unsuccessful sometimes when they go to uh the Super Bowl, right? Because they get out of routines and all of a sudden you start doing stuff that they're not normally doing, and they're entertaining in a lot of ways that they that they didn't do.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

There have been 30-minute shows about the 10 extra minute halftime, about how that throws teams off. Like there's there's been documentaries on that that extra 10 minutes is right.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

You get well, it's the same thing for goaltenders, right? All of a sudden, you know, there's a delay in the game, and now I'm a goaltender that was ready to go at seven, the game doesn't start at 8 15, and and all of a sudden it changes your mindset. So I think there is that there's there's there's definitely, and I think that's a great thing to think about as you're an at like the young athletes that are listening to this as they go in, like Haley's saying, like on Sunday, you're kind of laying out your schedule and laying out your plan and saying, okay, here's here's my here's where my obstacles are. How am I gonna get around them? How I'm gonna work around when you're done.

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Yeah, it it's great stuff, guys. And it like I'll say it too, that that when habits and planning come together, it's usually a pretty good mix. What Haley was saying about having to pivot when things go wrong, I you know, I this were probably a good thing my wife's not on the show. Like, I'm still working on getting better at that because it's hard. It's hard when you have something planned, you want to do it, and then something changes. But the actionable item, what I tend to do in those situations, and I have gotten a lot better at it, is I'll ask myself two questions. One is what do I have control of in the situation? Usually the answer is usually nothing, people, just so you know, okay. Um, but but there's a piece in knowing, like, okay, there's nothing I can do to make a change here. Um, and I think about okay, my effort, my diet, my mindset are the things I can control here. So I gotta change my mindset here. And I also think about am I being present? And I'm not gonna go into a deep talk with this, but 99% of your problems exist in the past or the future, they're not really happening in the moment, right? And when you think about when something diverts you uh and being present, like you're upset about something you were going to do in the future, right? It hasn't happened. Um, so I try and get a grip on that. I'm not saying you don't have the right to be frustrated, all right, but it's like you got to find a way past it and find an action. And usually you'll you'll be fine. Usually, I'm not saying this is in every situation, okay? Um, but yeah, I I I also love too, Haley. One of the things we were talking about is the standard, right? That both the off-season and on-season standard amongst professional athletes of no, you're going to keep yourself in shape, and then while you might have a buddy or someone you work out with or a team workout, um, it's it's the athlete does that on their own, right? And those standards are set when you're younger. And this is where I want to go with this. The standard, I wish I knew this when I was younger, is not limited to hockey. The standard is the standard, right? Like when you were a kid, while hockey might have been the primo sport, there was a standard with soccer. I'm sure there was a standard with other things that you were doing, right? And and that that also had to evolve, right? The standard of washing your hands before a middle school dance with uh Clorox bleach to get that smell out, you know, is is by the way, we've all been there, Haley. Don't worry.

SPEAKER_00 41:04

Oh, yeah. No, I know.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

But like I'm sure that the you as a young woman setting these standards evolved, and then you found yourself doing it in other things. This show is a great example, Haley. Like you bring it, you you have a standard for yourself of how you want to do this, how you want to prepare, and we do that, right? Like you could almost say that's borrowed from from hockey, right? But your standards, when did you start setting them? And when did you feel like they started applying to more than just the game?

SPEAKER_00 41:33

I it's hard to say. I feel like I've always had them. Um, I was always like that, even about school. Like I was very organized, always did my work on time, um set aside time for studying because you kind of had to with sports and just your schedule. Um, I think the time management of it all was something I learned, especially in high school, was a big one. I really had to make sure I got my stuff done during free period. Like most other kids got to goof off and just have fun with their friends. And I was like, nope, I this is my actual free time that is the only time I have to do my homework in. And I would make sure I did stuff ahead of time. Um, and I think I wish I was better at that. Yeah. I and I don't know why I was like that if I'm being honest. I just think it is something that's been ingrained in me since I was a kid. It was just like my dad was always like, all right, we gotta, we're exercising today. This is our time to do it. Like, let's focus. And like there was always just that standard set. I felt like even at a young age, like five years old, I was, you know, we're playing tennis and we're working on our form and like um being intentional and stuff like that. And so it was with every sport that we did, it was like we were always trying to get better. It wasn't just not that I didn't have fun, but like it there was intention with it. And I just feel like that carried through with school for me as well. And I love school, I loved learning. And I think that's where my coachability part also comes in. Like I enjoy the learning aspect of things and um challenging myself. And um, yeah, I've just always had that ingrained in me. And I think it comes from my parents for sure.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

You know, I'll say a couple things on that. One is I wish I was a little more astute in school, the way you're describing. I was not like you uh for a long time, right? Uh, didn't do bad in school necessarily, but I didn't have that organization you had. That I wish I had that. Um, you know, number two is yeah, your parents play a huge role in this. This is for for all of us, right? Like your parents, you're listening parents, right? We all play a massive role. And I know you know, we're all doing the best we can. If you're listening to the show, you're definitely doing the best you can. Not that we're the moral authority on parenting, but you're clearly looking for knowledge. Um, another thing I wish I knew as a kid, I tell my kids this now, uh, because I hear every once in a while, like, oh, school, oh, like, you know, and I tell them, you know, there'll be a time in your life you're gonna miss this and miss learning. And it miss learning, I said, yeah, you're gonna miss learning because when you learn, it's kind of exciting for your brain. And I said, you'll look for things to learn when you're older, most likely. And I said, the people that are lifelong learners are usually the happiest people. Um, one other thing you made me think about, Haley. So, on a recent episode, um, you had said you know very well about that while you don't necessarily mind the role model kind of moniker, that's not your job. Your professional job is not role model. I thought you put that really well. Um, and when I always tell people, because you just you just gave some pretty great role model behavior, right? You did, right? Like if the kids at home are wondering, like, what does it take? Well, Haley models that behavior. The key word here is behavior, right? And I always tell kids, focus on the behavior, right? And then there's a lot of applications for this. Like, if you want to be like Haley Skimora, look at her behavior, look what she did in school. She doesn't have to teach you to do this, she's already done it. That's role model behavior. That success leaves clues, all right. You can ignore the clues as long as you want, but success leaves clues. And Haley, and again, you're looking you're a very special athlete and a special person, but most professional athletes leave a trail of this is what I did, and I did take breaks and I did find ways to do this, right? I I have another quote, I teased this before. One of my favorite Philadelphia Eagles, sorry, Nealy, is Brian Dawkins. All right. Terrorized the league for years. He had this great quote that I he was like shouting it in a in a motivational video. And I it just never left me. And it goes, you know, they say that if you love what you do, you're not going to work a day in your life. And he goes, and I don't buy that. He goes, if you love what you do, you're going to work hard every day, more than anybody else. And like that's the truth. All right. But part of that hard work is what we're talking about on this episode. Knowing when to slow down, knowing when to disassociate, knowing when to spend time with the dog, go on hikes, go to Norway, you know, go fishing, go read books, go in the band, go do something else. We've already talked about ad nauseum, the benefits of your kids having other sports and other events. Right? I don't think we've talked enough about how to do that and how to help them dispersial. I've you know, parents come up to me all the time on YouTube, Mike, my kids hockey obsessed. They love all they do is hockey. Every day that's all they do is hockey. Guys, I'm not gonna lie to you, that's a little concerning to me if that's the truth. All right, it's a little concerning. Like, because my question is like, do they do anything else? Do they play in other sports? Do they like music? You know, here's here's one I'm gonna throw it back. Like, like I joked before about over 40 and under 40. Um, the truth is, over 40, Haley, if you don't stay in habits, you are gonna lose everything you've built. You know, when you're younger, there's a about a 10 age 10-year age gap between the three of us. And it's funny because like when one of the things that shocks me about like 10-year-olds is like they won't play hockey for three months and they'll get on the ice, and in 10 minutes they are back to where they were the year before. Like, like that's not gonna happen at my age, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

Right.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

So, but like use it or lose it. But but my point is I still have to take breaks. Sometimes they're forced breaks, right? So forth and so on. But here's the thing I was thinking about the other day, and and how our own experiences don't necessarily designate them for our kids. Um, I I love music, big into music, right? And when I was a kid, you know, I had a huge CD collection, and I had to pick my CD every day. I always had a music player on me, right? Um, because iPhones didn't exist, right? You had your you had a music player, cassette player when I was even younger. And I realized that unless your kid has a phone, my kids don't have phones. Man, they don't really have access to music unless we're at home and they're playing it on the Alexa or the record player. And it made me think, like, man, have I given them, and I feel like I have, but did I give them access to music? Right? There's a lot of things I wonder, do we give our kids access to? I've got a friend that says, Does anybody read anymore? And I go, Yeah, like a lot of people read. Like a lot, a lot of people, right? He didn't love to read, which is fine, but it's like our perception kind of can create a reality. I think, and this is me, my opinion, part of my role as a parent is to help expose my kids to some of these other things outside the game. I'm hockey obsessed, I'm doing them a disservice if that's the only world that I show them, right? So I think that that's also important to think about. I'm going a little more psychological here, but to think about your experience versus their experience and the things that you like to do. And it's funny is when I'm doing you gotta catch yourself. Sometimes you can be doing things away from the game and they come in up to you, and you go, no, get away, I'm doing my thing now. It's like, no, no, come look at what I'm doing, come see what I'm doing, right? Like my son and I like to build Legos together every once in a while. Great way to disassociate. There's no question of this, I'm just rambling now. But I want to talk about that. The the, you know, if you love what you do, you're actually gonna work hard, but you gotta plan, you know, you gotta build habits and things like that, right? So, Haley, let me ask you this, right? If you could give every 10-year-old hockey player an assignment that doesn't involve skates and a stick, right? What what would that be? Or maybe that's more advice than it is an actual thing. But like what would you suggest?

SPEAKER_00 49:15

I just think more kids need to just play outside together. I think so much of what people tend to do is like inside on video games or inside watching YouTube or little things like that. And I think it's like, where are the kids playing flag football outside or playing baseball outside, or um, you know, manhunt, whatever those games are, right? Like I just think being outside more, yes, wall ball, like being outside more with your friends, I think is so important to and be social, like have fun. Don't don't worry about what it's doing for you for your sport. Like, not everything you do has to be a step to be better in your sport. Um, I think it's all about having fun. You're you're a kid, like go out and enjoy life, find other experiences, find other things that you enjoy doing. And again, in the whatever that'll help you become maybe a better hockey player or maybe a better whatever. Who knows? Yeah, whatever you do eventually want to be in life. And so, yeah, I just think that's critical.

SPEAKER_01 50:17

Yeah, Mike, you have I wanted your thoughts on that too. Like, what would you know? Again, we're we're God bless you, hell yeah, we're a little bit more down the line, right?

SPEAKER_02 50:25

Just that's great advice.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

Um, I'm wondering, Mike, if you have anything too for that one, just away from the stick in the in the pock in the ice, like what would we say to our kids?

SPEAKER_03 50:35

Yeah, I mean, I love the listen, I love I love like I I've I've I've enjoyed watching even my guys, you know, enjoy other things like outside of the sport of hockey. Thank God. I mean, it's like you know, music is a big part of my guys' lives and and certainly other sports, and not even sport to be competitive, just other sports, like just you know, whether you learn how to go go out and learn how to water ski or learn how to ride a uh you know a geared bike. Like there are certain so so many things that kids miss out on. Um, and and and a lot of it's because of us, a lot of it's because of the parents. Like, like my when I grew up, I was like where I live in the town I live in, I would I would be able to take literally like my bike and ride to my friend's house, which is across like you know, three major roads, a couple of train tracks, yeah, and and and a lake.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

And I'm like This is not Stand By Me, the movie, correct?

SPEAKER_03 51:27

And I I basically that was my life, right? I mean like you would leave in the morning, and they just this is us, this is our society. Like, this is what we've created a lot of these inability to have like community play dates, like you know, or that's and that's like a term I even hate actually. Like we have to schedule the play, like why don't the kids just go play? And because but a lot of it's because of us. So all of us as parents know you will if you let them. You will if you let them, but the problem is like, even like it's almost like they put their toe outside the driveway, like you know, my my life 360 just told me, you know, life 360 just told me my kid just went outside the driveway. Like it's just this is weird, it's it's a juxtap, it's just weird because you want your kids to have the freedom and you want kids to go to the park and and just free play, and then at the same time, they don't know how to free play, like they all sit around the park going what do we do now?

SPEAKER_01 52:18

You know, my Mike, I'm reminded, I'm reminded you know, my parenting journey. I remember the first time my daughter really kind of like left to go play out on the street with her friends, and I remember like the anxiety, unexpected, by the way. Yeah, I'm like, well, what do you what do you mean? Well, there's there's there's levels to this. Like the first level is like, I want you to be safe, right? That's every parent's just instinct of okay, just be safe, don't go too far, don't go towards the highway, whatever. And then there was like another level of like, is this it? Is she leaving me? Is she going to find other people to hang out with and not like with me anymore? That was a dad thing that I had to deal with. All right, and then and then there's another level of, oh, she's actually like they're out there playing, they're out there playing, and like luckily, I I mean luckily, like I've got neighbors who go outside and their kids just go out there and play. You know what, you know what happens when other kids see other kids outside playing? They want to go play, right? And Haley, to your point, you'll laugh at this. So she and I, uh uh with with her permission, like with her saying yes, we're practicing hockey outside the other day. She wanted to work on some things. Um, and we were doing really great work. I was really enjoying the dad-daughter hockey time, right? Sounds familiar, right? And then one of her friends came over on a bike and and goes, Hey, can Alina play? And I was sitting there, my brain inside going, you know, we're working on this thing that I'm working on. So, you know, what I did because and then just kind of keeping to my word on standards, I said, Hey, Alina, listen, just finish this set that we're working on right now, and then you can go play with your friend, right? It wasn't like weightlifting or anything. We're just we're just working on something. I said, just do this thing, and then you can go, and you know, she was happy, she did it, and she says, Can I go play now? I said, Of course, you can go play, right? Like, like how I I just feel like I would have been wrong to be like, no, we're working on this right now. Like, do not be a kid.

SPEAKER_03 54:06

But I and I think the other problem is too, is like it that that you know, don't get too competitive. Like, I can't even imagine what Haley must have been like, right, with your dad. Like, if the neighbor kids are playing, all of a sudden there's like a scoreboard up, like, okay, who's gonna, you know, who's who's gonna get the most uh dodgeball uh hits here. But I'm and I was like that that's like to me, like listen, like it was the weirdest thing. Like I even I was even thinking about this in real time. Uh we're in Norway and we're playing and we're doing uh you know uh Viking axe throwing. And um, you know, you she got and and this is like not like a not a bar axe. This is like a like an axe, like double-edged, you know, you need to kill somebody with these things. So we're we're playing, we're playing we're axe throwing out in the hills of Norway, and and I'm in my mind, I'm like I'm keeping score. Like there was and there was no reason to keep score. Like it was no, like I'm like, okay, go ahead, Michael, you go. No, that's outside, you know, that doesn't count. And it becomes so competitive. Like I'm like, we're just I'm just like this is the first time I've ever thrown.

SPEAKER_01 55:04

Yeah. Number one question in my hockey is what? What's the score, coach? What's the I know you know the score.

SPEAKER_03 55:10

But it but it's it's hard not to like, and I think that's where like on on you know, it's it's so it's it's hard, it's hard to forget, like or hard to remember. Like, let's just go out and like you can have fun, you can just go play something that doesn't need to result in anything, and you don't have to have any anxiety about it, just go play, whether that's you know, juggling or or or or hacky sack or whatever you're gonna do, just go do something that doesn't turn into a competition.

SPEAKER_01 55:35

You're a competitive person, like I think that's okay too. Like, like that's one of the things I've had to do.

SPEAKER_03 55:39

Right, but not the point where the kids walk away, like oh.

SPEAKER_01 55:42

But my point is, like, like, look, I'm okay saying I'm a very competitive person. And like I am, I'm competitive with almost everything that I do in my head, all right. But me calling it out like that also allows me to disassociate of like you don't need to be competitive right now, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:00

Right?

SPEAKER_01 56:01

Uh, and that again, that's part of the skill set. Uh, but Mike, that's a great point. Like, yeah, like why am I keeping score? Well, it's because you're competitive, right? But you don't have to let that ruin.

SPEAKER_03 56:09

I only keep scoring things I'm good at, but I think it's more like you know, like I don't, I don't, I don't like if Arthur wants to play chess and he's really good at chess, I'm like, I can't play chess, so I'm not, I I just throw the chessboard, you know, like we're not really right. No, it's good.

SPEAKER_01 56:24

Uh yeah, by the way, almost at 600 episodes, no one's counting. Um I got the last question. Haley, I'm gonna start with you on this one, but this is actually one for the group. I'm a big believer in I I call them magic questions. Okay, these are questions that get you to really think outside the box. So this is not the question, but one of one of the best magic questions for the audience is when you're when you're really in a tough spot asking yourself, if I could wave a magic wand and change this, what would I change? Right? Sometimes just thinking that creates the thought process to get you out of the loop you're in to go beyond. So, Haley, this is an interesting one for you, but I do think it's a magic question, and it's one the audience should ask themselves too. Uh, you have you're nowhere done your career, but you you've hit a pinnacle of sorts with a gold medal and a Walter Cup in the same year. Again, not done, big massive hockey accomplishment. Um, you will always be remembered for that, whether you want to be or not. It's historical. So, my question to you is what do you hope people remember about you that has nothing to do with hockey?

SPEAKER_00 57:32

I I don't I just hope that they I don't know, that they've just felt loved and supported by me, that I was a kind teammate, that um just how I made them feel, I think, on a day-to-day basis. I think that's more important than any of the accolades. Like, I don't really care. Like, I'm very honored to have those, and I think it is incredibly cool and historical, and that's all amazing. But overall, like what I would want my teammates or people in my life to remember me is that I was kind, that maybe I helped them grow in a sense, maybe become more of who they are. Uh yeah, I I just want to be remembered as like a kind person for sure.

SPEAKER_01 58:13

It's a tremendous answer. Uh, I have a feeling when we go down the horn here, we're gonna hear similar answers to that. But Mike, Mike, again, Mike, Mr. Hockey, what is what what do you hope like take the hockey out of it? What do you hope people remember about you?

SPEAKER_03 58:24

Yeah, I just I I honestly I think about this all the time. Like, I just and I I hope that in my day-to-day life, you know, that they they that people view me as somebody that likes to help and be involved and be active and and watch other people succeed. Like I love being the steward of somebody else's success. And I think that, you know, because that makes me feel good. I mean, I I mean I'm like, oh, that's cool. I was part of that. So I think it's just a matter of uh whether it's hockey or or uh fly fishing or or or digging the right ditch in the yard. You know, it's just a matter of, you know, just uh just just being somebody that could be counted on and uh you know respected.

SPEAKER_01 58:59

Yeah, and look, I think for me too, again, I said it might be similar. Like I really would love for people to be like, you know, he really loved his kids and he loved his wife and he loved his family. Like he really loved those people. And uh, or from a you know, from a from a people standpoint, he really loved helping players, he really loved building groups. The reason I'm bringing this up is I think most people, it's not an easy question to think about, but I think it most people, when you strip away part this part of your identity and is part of who we are as hockey, it comes down to the other people, and it comes down to how we treat people and and again how you make people feel, Haley, is a great, great way of saying it, right? I think this is true for most people, and I don't think we as people spend enough time in that thought because that thought can guide you. All right, now anyone who says, Um, well, I hope I'm I'm remembered for this massive billion-dollar business that I created. I don't know how to say this like nicely. I'm gonna kind of say it like I'm not I'm not against those businesses. It's like, okay, well, you know, I don't know if people care, right? Because they're gonna remember, like, well, you know what they'll say? Well, that guy treated me horribly, or that person treated me horribly. Yeah, they made this huge business, but they were horrible to me. That's not the way you want to be remembered, right? So I think it's important, and that's why I said it's a magic question. Strip away maybe the the the main the main part of your identity for a minute. That thought can help guide how you're gonna plan and build habits and approach the next day. And I I I will implore the audience, kind of make my closing here. Careful. Let's quote Ferris Bueller. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you could miss it. That is one of the most prolific quotes, not just in movie history, but in history. So many of us are living our days, thinking about the next one, thinking about the next one, not living in this one, right? And if I think there's any takeaway from this episode, just building great standards, building great habits, and finding ways to do this, live in the moment for today, whether it's sport or not, is really valuable. So I hope we accomplish that today. Again, you got a little look behind the curtain with the three of us, right? Norway hikes, shoulder replacement, and other things. Uh Mike, Haley, any final thoughts before I close this completely?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:25

No, well said, and I think it's uh, like I said, it's always, it's always and that you know it's so funny about our show is that the show has allowed allowed a lot of this um other peripheral stuff to happen in my life, like to meet all these other people I would never normally meet, like on a day-to-day basis, and learn from all these people without you know feeling like I'm I'm um uh you know bothering them with their time. You know, it's it's it's it's it's great to be able to sit down and have somebody talk about their life and and what they do and how they conduct themselves every day. And you know, just like everything else, like stealing all those little nuggets of information and and hopefully being able to help like my inner circle and my inner community.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:09

That's really good. Haley, any final thoughts from you?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:12

No, I mean I think, yeah, I think we've said it all.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:15

Yeah. Well, I will say this, Haley, that you gave a fantastic answer to that question, but all Hayley are accolades and the gold medal. Those are pretty cool things to have in your reservoir. Uh, and for those of you listening, uh, we'll we'll get back to your regular scheduled hockey programming on the next edition of Our Girls Play Hockey. Hope you enjoyed this conversation today. Remember, if you have any thoughts, you want to share anything, team at our kidsplayhockey.com or use the link accompanying this episode in the description to send us a text. We will get back to you. We appreciate all of you. Have a wonderful day. We'll see you next time. Take care. We hope you enjoyed this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey. Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network, or our website, ourkidsplayhockey.com. Also, make sure to check out our children's book, When Hockey Stops, at When Hockey Stops.com. It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life. We're very proud of it. But thanks so much for listening to this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey, and we'll see you on the next episode.