Our Kids Play Goalie: Pete Fry on Building an Unshakable Goalie Mindset

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Hello, hockey friends and families around the world, and welcome to a new episode of Our Kids Play Goalie. I'm Leah Lias, joined by Christy Cash and Burns. A rare one. Mike Bonelli is on assignment tonight. Actually on the ice coaching right now. Really, the only acceptable reason for him not to be on a show is to be on the ice. So we're gonna let him go on that one. Now, listen, goalie might be in the title today, but this is a show for all hockey families because today's guest is one of the most respected coaches in hockey. Pete Fry, known across the hockey world as the goalie mindset guy, has worked with a long list of big name NHL goaltenders and elite athletes, excuse me, across the NHL, AHL, CHL, NCAA, and international competition, including other sports, something that we talk about and preach about. Even as a coach, he's working with other sports. But Pete himself is a former WHL all-star NHL draft pick and a professional goaltender himself. But it's his work developing confidence, composure, and resilience in goalies that has made him a pioneer in the mental performance space. In addition to all of that, he's also the host of the Goalie Mindset podcast. We're fans of that here. And many of you know Pete through his work with NHL Sense Arena, which we have highlighted across our networks. We're going to explore a lot of important topics today surrounding mindset, focus, and preparation. And we believe all players, every one of you listening, will benefit from it, especially the goaltenders. Let's get into it, Pete. Welcome to our kids play goalie. Lee, I'm excited to be here.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

Thanks both of you for having me on. And yeah, this is great. I love talking, hockey, mindset, goaltending, mindset, parents mindset. This is yeah, fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Pete, it is such an honor to have you here. I mean, what a resume. Uh, parents listening, Pete is the real deal. This is going to be a golden episode. So thank you for being here. Let's dive right in. So you spent years, as Lee mentioned, playing the position. Now you've spent decades working with NHL, AHL, NCAA, CHL, international goaltenders. So, at what point did you realize that technical skill really wasn't the ceiling, we'll say? And instead, mindset was let's get started with that.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

Christy, that that is a great question. Well, uh, as a goaltender, I was I was drafted to the National Hockey League, yet never played one game. And I played in the minors, played in Sweden. And after that, I after I didn't get re signed to go back and play, I basically became a manic depressant almost. Like I was like down, and I had this neighbor that would talk to me every day and was super nice. But I think she got a little tired of talking to someone that was depressed every day. And so she gave me this personal development program. And and I remember going through it and listening to it and going, Whoa. And I think I was like 25, 26 at the time, thinking, this is powerful stuff. How come they didn't teach us in school? Like there's stuff that I was learning. And so so from that point on, I dived in and then I started to connect the dots and thinking, okay, well, it's interesting because when I got drafted, there was lots of goalies that I played against that were probably not as good as me at the time, yet ended up playing in the National Hockey League. And and there's vice versa and stuff like that. You see that all the time. And I was like, what is a major difference? Was it skill? No, I had good skills. Was it being in good shape? Not at all. I was in good shape. The difference was the whole mental part. And so then I went through, well, what did I think when I was so when I was drafted by New Jersey, I was, I was, I was in what you what I call the fan mindset. I had studied every NHL team and the goalies that they had. And I thought if these this team drafts me, I can make it. If this team drafts me, I won't make it. And the team, one of the teams that I thought I wouldn't make it with was New Jersey. And because they they had six goalies under contract. I thought, what are the chances? So I um everything stopped. My training, everything basically stopped. And I went to training camp with the six goalies under contract, and they got rid of three of them. All I had to do was basically fog a mirror with my breath, and I would have made the team not even maybe not New Jersey that year, but at least the American Hockey League. But everything I did was to play myself out of position because that's where my that's where I saw myself. And yeah, so so since that time, I've been doing whatever it takes to master the mind. I've probably done a thousand firewalks in my life, uh, a whole bunch of different uh things to test the mind and then taking it and putting it in into goaltending and working with other athletes as well.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

And I would think it would take baby steps, right? You can't just leap into that.

SPEAKER_03 4:54

Exactly, exactly. It uh I didn't start doing this full time until 2016. Until 20. Well, I did some students early on, but I did a lot of technical training in my day, so I didn't start doing this full time until 2016.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

You know, Pete, I want to do this for our audience because our audience is pretty hockey savvy, and we do have a lot of New Jersey uh people that listen. What year were you drafted?

SPEAKER_03 5:19

1987. I think 87, maybe 86, 86, 87.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Yeah, I'm I'm bringing that up because New Jersey fans will know if it was from 95 to 2000, uh, we'll just say 10, tough time to get in the net in New Jersey because Martin Brodeur is there. So I just want to give that context for the audience. Yeah, I I I always joke with New Jersey fans. You only get the best goalie in the world once. We've got the best goalie mindset guy. Hopefully, not once. Hopefully, we'll have you on over and over again.

SPEAKER_03 5:47

You know, I'd love to come back on.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

I would love to have you too, but you know, uh a question for you. One of the things is as you get into coaching, uh, I think when when when you people first start coaching, and this is for the youth coaches out there, there's this feeling of, oh, I've got to do everything. I've got to do everything. Power plays, special teams, mental, office. And the truth is, the more you get into coaching, especially at the higher levels, you realize that there are specialized coaches, right? And you find your niche. I found my niche in the team building space. I realized early on that I was able to get the group to work together better than most other coaches. So I naturally went that way. You said you started doing this in 16. I would love to hear about that moment. You said, you know what? I'm doing this full time. This is going to become my life because it is what you do. You are the premier person now in this space. So talk to me about that process when that spark happened, and then you know, also the acceleration of how you got to where you're at today.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

Yeah, great, great questions. So in 2016, a a good friend of mine, a former student of mine, is uh Eli Wilson. Eli is a former goalie coach for the Ottawa Senators in the National Hockey League, has great camps, really, really great goalie coach. And I just saw him last night because he's a goalie coach for Klona. Uh and he said, Pete, you know, can you come speak at my camp? And so I went and spoke at his his camp that he didn't. He runs a really, really, really great camps. And after I had parents coming up to me saying, This was maybe the best part about this camp. Yeah, right. They say we love this and stuff. So I thought, whoa, okay, yeah, obviously, what I'm doing, what I'm saying is working. I got to get this out. More people need this.

unknown 7:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Why do you so well received? I mean, what what what kind of connection were you making that they weren't getting elsewhere?

SPEAKER_03 7:31

Great, great question, Christy. Because really, when when I played, there were sports psychologists around. And I probably needed them more than anyone. Yet they just didn't resonate with me. Like I remember, I remember uh a sports psychologist coming up to me when I was 20, 21 years old, and I was kind of down on my lock. Oh, I'm not going back to NHL training camp, dah dah dah dah da. And saying, you know, if you want to play in the NHL, you got to see yourself in an NHL jersey. And I was like, is this guy crazy? And and I don't know why it's just because it doesn't resonate. But but here's the thing. So uh and here's a neat story is Jeff Glass was a was a world junior championship goaltender. He was the best goalie and junior, he was the CHL goalie of the year, the very best goalie and junior. He reached out to me when he was 31, and I told him the exact same thing. I he reached out to me when he was 31, he had yet to play his first NHL game. I'm like, Jeff, what holds you back? He says, Well, I see myself as an almost NHL goalie. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Because one of the things I've learned about the power of the mind is it's the subconscious. We have to work with the subconscious mind. And the the subconscious mind is just a computer. That's all it is. But it has all the power. Imagine the where the where the Philadelphia Eagles play, the big football stadium. Yeah, that's the power of your subconscious mind. Tiny little golf balls, the power for our conscious mind, which can judge and things like that. So, but the subconscious is just a computer. And whatever information you put in, whatever pictures it forms, it'll move towards. And so I said, Jeff, you got it. What what NHL team do you want to play for? And he's like, Pete, I can't pick my team. And I'm like, doesn't matter, that's how your brain works. So I actually had Jeff to write a paragraph of himself playing for the for for the Calgary Flames at the time. It's a team he chose. Now, what happened was a year later he played his first NHL game with the Chicago Blackhawks. And after you know, toiling in the minors and over in Russia for 11 or 12 years, then and then this this really hit home for me, Stuart Skinner. I started working with him when he was 16 years old. Now, Stuart he didn't win world juniors, he didn't even make the world junior team, he didn't win CHL goalie of the year, uh, not even Western Hockey League goalie of the year. So if two two hockey analysts are to look at both of those goaltenders at 20 years old, they're gonna say Jeff Glass is a much better goaltender, most likely, right? Well, Stuart Skinner at 16, the first paragraph I had him wrote, believe it or not, you know who he wrote he was playing for? Oh the Pittsburgh Penguins, the Pittsburgh Penguins, and and he just said the first two or three sentences of his paragraph, he described it perfectly. What happened his first game with them? The rest they didn't win the game, so the rest didn't happen, but the first two or three sentences did. And then I sat down with Stuart a month after he was drafted. I was in at the draft with him in Chicago when he was drafted by the Oilers. I sat down with him a month later and we did a powerful mind map of his next season. Stuart, you're going to make the team, like you're going to training camp to make the team. The opposite of what I thought when I got drafted. So he wrote, like, to win all the trophies, Carrie Price won NHL All-Star, and all that stuff. And and you know, he's he's had no matter what people say, he's had a successful career so far. It's been up and down, but it's been a successful career. And to me, the difference there is the power of the brain, the whole what we put in the subconscious mind.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Huh. This is amazing. You can use this for all areas of life, I would think.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Well, everything. Yeah. For those of you who listen to this show regularly, especially our girls play hockey, Pete. I love that you're bringing this up because this was not prompted. And I always love examples on her show that multiple people say without knowing that the other people are saying it. So we talked before the show about our co-host Haley Skimora, Team USA, and the Montreal Victoire. One of the visualizations or manifestation things that she did last season was she had a whiteboard and she wrote, I am a gold medalist. Not I hope to be, not I want to be. And then that happened. Then then she changed it to I am a Walter Cup champion. That happened. Now, there's people out there who say, Well, yeah, you know, this happened. You know what? It happened. It doesn't matter what you think, it doesn't matter what your judgment thinks. So where I'm going with this is this is that uh I believe in this too. All right. Uh, and and I have gotten myself into the practice of saying I am the things that I am going, or I am. It's tough to explain to people who haven't done it. The first time you do this, it's very awkward and very weird, just like you said. When someone says to you, no, just tell me you're on an NHL team and tell me what's going to happen. Your brain, like you said, that judgment side of your brain, which we all have, will immediately go, No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't do that. I can't change that. Adults, kids, coaches, everybody. Give this a try.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Right. And I'm just curious because you know, positive affirmation, okay, we we tell that to our kids all the time. Right. But you mentioned mind map. That sounds a little more than just writing something down on a piece of paper and hoping it manifests. What's your mind map?

SPEAKER_03 12:39

So, with a mind map, what you do is you get a piece, and I can send you a copy after where you can show people if you want to get a piece of paper, you write a circle in the middle, you write your outcome. Like, for example, for Christian Kirsch, who just won the Moral Cup last night. He came over to our Airbnb in Kelowna a couple nights before the Moral Cup. And I did a live confidence anchoring session with him, did a powerful, what I call a rapid neural transformation, like a like a visualization on steroids. And he we did a mind map. And in the middle, he put my powerful Memorial Cup championship. And I said, Write what you want to see here in Field. So it draws a line off, says, I'm gonna see myself holding the the I want to see the trophy above my head when I hold it. I want to see the black puck clearly. I want to hear the fans cheering for me. I want to feel the power of the last, the three-second countdown when we win the Memorial Cup, right? So so he would so what I would do is I would get him to to write that out, and then I had him write a paragraph of it, like three or four sentences, and then do a drawing. The drawing is key. Back in the days, the cavemen, before they go on the big hunt, they would they would draw on the walls, like you know, them spearing a big boar or something like that, right? Planning out their hunt, because that was the best way they they could communicate. And it just it locks in the brain. And going back to the subconscious and why this does work. So so do explain because a lot of people look at this. Oh, this is it could be hairy fairy, you manifest, and da-da-da-da-da. But if you look at it like this, here's how the brain works. Let's let's talk. Here's here's how the brain is. Number one, your subconscious mind, we think in pictures. If I say car, what shows up in your head? Some a color of a car, a car, not car. And every word that is said forms a picture in our head. So if you're saying Lee, I am fill in the blank, that picture shows up in the head. Also, too, this is critical for coaches and parents. We are always like you're always you're always programming me, I'm always programming you, we're always being programmed. In fact, there's an article just came out in the Quebec uh newspaper saying the man who programmed Jacob Dobish's mind, right? It was like an article on on what the work that I do with Yaqob Dobish for the Montreal Canadians, and it doesn't understand the word don't. So, as a parent, if you say to your your goaltender, don't let in the first goal, guess what they picture. Exactly. And which means the next thing with your subconscious mind, it does not know what's real and what you imagine. For example, did you ever see the movie Jaws? Of course. My I had three older sisters, man. They they took me to Jaws when I was seven years old. To this day, I'll jump in a pool, I'll be thinking, is there a shark in here? Right. Subconscious mind, it doesn't know the difference what's real and what you have. The conscious mind knows when you're going to that movie, this is fake, this is actors. Sure. This just shows the power of the subconscious. And then the fifth most powerful thing is we walk into the picture we hold of ourselves. That subconscious mind will move us towards that. Now, here's why it does it, here's why it does it. Because our brain has about two million bits of information coming into it every single moment. But the the conscious mind can only accept like 134. And whatever we focus on, it activates what's called a reticular activating system. We're gonna see more of it. For example, could you go to a food court in a mall and pick out three people sitting together that are really happy if you're looking for it? You could. Could you pick out three people sitting together that are very unhappy if you look for it? You could. It's like so, whatever we look for, we're gonna get that. That's basically the law of attraction explained right there. Whatever we look for, we're gonna see more of, and we're gonna back it up.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

You know, one one follow-up for this, and I love that we're on this because we're giving really actionable stuff for the audience. And I'll tell the audience two things. What's funny about what we're talking about is I have more times this has worked than it hasn't. All right, and it's funny is that I'm gonna say this again to you. This practice has succeeded for me more than you think it has at home. All right, like the things that I say have come to pass. Now, that's part one of this. The second part of this is that it is not just you say it and it will happen. You must put in the work, right? All right, and and when we talk, especially to the kids out there, you know, I think I think one of the mistakes that was made 15 years ago was hey, all your dreams can come true. The trick, the trick was nobody said, but you have to put the work in. So if if for those of you listening, and look, this could be the adults listening too. If there's a dream in there, adopt this practice. The work will follow if you are honest about what you are saying. If you truly believe what you're saying, the work will follow. All right. But Pete, I want your thoughts on this because it's not as simple as saying it. The work must follow, but it's a paradox, right? Because one leads to the other. I want to try and capture that for the audience here.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Action is everything. Even Jim Carrey, do you guys remember watching? Do you ever watch? I don't really watch the Oprah Winfrey show, but I've seen some clips of Jim Carrey on there, right? Of Jim Carrey on there when she's talking about how he manifested, right? He wrote his check for 10 million, and then he would go to Mulholland Boulevard, visualize every day when he was just like tens of thousands of other comedians struggling.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Love to bring him up.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And and so after he said that, she she's like, So visualization works. He goes, Yeah, but you can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich. You got to put the work in, right? And and to me, it's all action. So if you have that clear picture, to me, the the other biggest thing that holds people back is fear of failure, fearing what other people are thinking of them. Right. Oh, I tried something once and and I don't want to look bad, so I don't want to do it again. We have to have this saying in our mind that it's none of our business what anyone thinks of us, right? Because once we go to what are people thinking of it, of us, we're done.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Well, your dreams are not for them, like that. The dreams are for you, right? And and we say this all the time. Christy knows, like, look, Christy manifested herself into a news anchor. I'm not you she she told that story. She was, you were young, you're like, This is what I'm gonna do, right? It it it's it's one of those things of look, the dreams have to be for you. And look, there will be some people that support you, but the truth is, majority of people won't. They'll call you crazy, but the crazy ones are the ones who do it. All right, that that's just that's that's the way it is at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

I think we could maybe uh we gotta move this to um the pressure that goalies feel because this is this is big. And we know, especially when you're a kid and you're you know, you're 12 years old, you're feeling the weight of the team on your shoulders, you have to feel it. So you've got this 12-year-old. The pressure can be amplified at such a young age. Why do they feel like so much heavier in the crease than other positions? Help parents explain, explain to parents why this happens and how you can help your young goaltender.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

Great question. Great, great, very good question. Very good question. A goaltender has a position, and let me know if if you can think of another one, but I think a goalie has a position that has more controllables than any other position on the planet. For example, I also work with a major league uh relief pitcher that comes in for relief, right? With the Arizona Dimebacks and another uh hitter as well, too, in the major leagues. And uh to me, it's it's easy to work with them compared to goaltenders because a goaltender has so so many, like I remember like Jakob Dobish last year. He's playing, he he goes across a crease, makes a save, goes across, pushes back, and loses an edge. That was a little bit of an uncontrollable right and didn't make the save, got got pulled from the game. And so a goalie, you think of it, you can do everything perfectly, like perfectly, still not make the save and still get blamed for it, right? Right, and still get blamed for it. And uh that's what makes it so challenging as a goal turner. Yet uh once we get into the mode, like the I've had like the the best goalies, like like Grant Fury won five Stanley Cups. He's like, I love that. I love the fact that I go out there and it wasn't certain that I was gonna win, but I'm betting on myself. I'm gonna make it Yakub Dobish. So when we when we talk about pressure, you could have 10 goalies facing the same game, facing the same team, the same things on the line for the game. They all feel a different amount of pressure. And and here's why. Here's why your perception is your only reality and only your reality. So that goalies perception of what's happening, the fans, all that stuff is their reality, but only the reality. And they're never responding to reality, they're responding to the movies and sounds in their head, they're creating their own reality. We're always creating our own reality. That's why Connor McGregor, after he won the MMA, he said it's 100% mental, life is an illusion. It really is, if you think about it, because our experience right now is totally different based on the movies and sounds in our head. Same thing for a goaltender. And so if we can learn to control those, like here's an example. I get a call last year, an initial goaltender, he's playing his first game of the season. He calls me, he's on his way to the game, and he's like, Pete, I've never felt this nervous. This goes perfectly with your question. I've never felt this nervous. I'm like, why? What happened? And and he's like, Well, last game I played, and he he was playing for Ottawa, Mad Sogard. I've I've told the story before, so I think it's so okay that I can tell it with Mads. Uh, anyways, he's like, His game before they played against Colorado. He didn't start, he went in halfway through, he was in for five minutes, didn't come up with three saves and got pulled. They were really good goals. Colorado was bing-bang boom and stuff like that. So now he's getting his first start, and they're playing against Vegas. Well, Vegas is a pretty good team this year. Pete, I've never felt this nervous. I go, Mads, how bad is it? Scale of one to ten. He goes, at 10. I go, whoa. So, what is creating this feeling? Is it a movie you see? And he goes, Yeah. I go, that movie. What is that movie of me maybe getting pulled, not making saves? I go, how close to you is that movie? He says, It's like right in front of me. I'm like, is it in color? He's like, Yeah. I go, is it big? He's like, Yeah. I go, Well, if it's right in front of you, what if you push it away about five feet? What happens? Does that that number 10 out of 10 in badness go down? He goes, goes down a little bit. What if you push it away 100 feet, shrink it down to the size of the postage stamp? He's like, Yeah, it goes down to about a three. So then we did one more exercise where when he had it, where he shrunk it down to it was about a one. Then I had him put his hand up near his ear, go go like breathe in, go and imagine swatting the rest of that negative image away and having it come bounce back like a boomerang of him the powerful wall. Well, he calls me after the game. He's like, Pete, I didn't get a shot until six or seven minutes into the game, and that can be challenging for a goalie. He goes, It was a penny shot. He goes, he goes, by Mitch Marner, right? And he goes, That feeling came back.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

I did that exercise on the ice in the head, and I shut him down.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Whoa.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

And I got first star of the game.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

I gotta adapt this. I need to do this.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

That's a great story.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

You you know, I gotta start doing this.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

We have to what I love about you know, it's it again. If you're hearing this kind of stuff for the first time, you might go, okay, that's a little that's a little awkward, but this stuff works. I'll tell you something, Pete, that I do that uh I'm a big believer in calling out your emotions, yeah. Uh especially if they're compromising you. Because, like anyone else, I get nerves, I get angry, I get overly excited, right? Like, like it's not always just the negative emotions. And I'm I'm very in tune when I'm feeling a certain way. And it's not uncommon for me, especially when I'm angry. I visualize me taking the anger, crumpling it up like a newspaper and or or or piece paper for those of you that are over under 40, and throwing it into a trash can. I visualize that. Um, or I'll say out loud, get away from me. Like, I will do that. And people have caught me doing that and say, You are right. Like, yeah, I'm just talking to myself. But but the visualization of capturing these things is so important. And we're not just talking ice hockey, even though that was an amazing story that where you're a thousand percent going to turn into a microclip, because it's not every day you get to talk about Mitch Marner coming in on a penalty shot. But I love that you're bringing this up because this is something young kids you can do as well, right? I want to talk about actually a very specific situation for young kids as well. The the post goal against 10-second reset time period. Which look, and I I can bring this in now. My son is a goaltender, he's 12 years old, believe it or not. Um, I love him very much. I'm so proud of how he's taken on this position, not just as an athlete, but emotionally. And watching him learn this, okay, the puck is in the net. What do I do now over this next 10 seconds to the puck drops? I would love to hear your thoughts on how that process can go.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

Great question. Great question. And that that's super important. Like every year I'll have NHL scouts call me, they'll ask me about my clients. They'll say, What do what do they think about when they don't make a save? Right. And no matter what, after the save isn't made, and I believe that here's here's what I go through with my clients is a really neat strategy that every every everyone can use. Every goal, goalie parents, you can tell the teacher goaltenders is number one is when when you're battling to make the save, it's like it's everything. You're doing whatever you want to create, that strong why. You know, you can imagine your family's in the net behind you, you're protecting them, whatever it is. But the moment that that save isn't made, you got to be a little bit schizophrenic.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:36

So the moment that save isn't made, then it's like you like you look at it, and this is what I this is what I do with Jacob Dobish. Right, you know, he just stole two playoff series for from until he did. Yeah, yeah. If you don't make that save, you look at it and go, that's strange. I didn't make the save. I normally stop the puck. Isn't this weird? This this just means I'm gonna make the next 30, 40, 50 saves. That's it. So so that's kind of the the the thought. Another thought could be good goal, bad goal, who cares? Because think of it, what do goalies do? They they go into judgment video replay mode. We gotta save that for after the game. And like uh, a good goal is worth one for the other team, a bad goal is worth one for the other team, it's not worth anymore, right? So, so then we need one once we have a different way to look at it, then we need some physical strategies because how we're feeling at any moment comes from the movies in our head, which can be how we frame it and how we move. Because if we're thinking, oh, it is it's not like me, but we're looking down on the ground like this. Well, we're not gonna feel very good, right? So we we we gotta look up, we gotta smile. A big thing is to smile that resets the brain, like turn it on and off. And then we can use water to our advantage. So with water, you can squirt it, watch a drop, go to the ground, or you can take a take a sip of it, feel the temperature change in your mouth. Josh Ravensbergen, one of my clients was drafted first round last year by San Jose Sharks, he sprays it on his face, and it's a signal that boom, everything's done, washed off. It's what you can use water, and then breath is a key thing, too, right? Do some box breathing like the Navy SEALs, teach to calm down four in, hold for four, four out, hold for four, or aversion, just four in, four out, something simple. So water, breath, and then move powerfully. That's the key. That the number one thing is to move powerfully. I like that one too.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

And P, what happens if the kids get pummeled in the net? You know?

SPEAKER_03 28:39

When you say four over or or oh 40 shots.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Oh boy, they can't save any of them. Yes, they're just they're there's this really losing the battle.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

Or they're on yeah, they're on a team. Yeah, they're on a team that say isn't very good, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:56

Exactly. And then we see this all the time in youth hockey. We get a lot of emails, Pete. We do.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

Number one is and and it's really neat. I'm gonna go back to Jakob Dilbert because there was so much they would they would flash to him after his team takes a penley, they show him smiling, right? Or after he doesn't make a save, they show him smiling. He's like, I you know, I I got this, like I got this. So, in situations like that, I think you got to look a little longer term out. So, this game may not be maybe it's not the most fun because we're we're not winning. I I haven't made seven or eight saves, and I've had 50 shots. Yet if you go back to the and once again, our perception is our only reality and only our reality. So, their perception that goalie, I think, should have in that moment is I am getting better. I'm stopping the next the only thing that matters is next shot, next save. And if you're watching an interview of Kerry Price after a game where he didn't make six or seven saves, they said, Carrie, do you want them to leave you in after four or five or pull you? He's like, No, I'd rather stay in and battle it out. Okay next shot, next save. And then they're like, Do you treat it any differently after six or seven? Nope, it's just like it's zero, zero, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Yeah, and a lot of coaches will quickly pull a goalie in Youthy if they if they if you have two goalies, and you're having a bad game, they'll pull them. Is that a good move, or should you let the kid just battle it out, as you said?

SPEAKER_03 30:23

You guys may have seen this as well, too. But there is a lot of I have to do a lot of cleanup work with coaches, a lot of because here's the thing that and if there's any coaches listening, I appreciate what what you are doing, you're you're putting in your time and stuff like that. Take some time to learn a little bit about the mind because that can change everything with your goaltenders. The best coaches I know with goaltenders, like Willie, Willie Deschardens, who coaches Medicine at Tigers, and he's coach of the National Hockey League, he's like, Pete, I'm not gonna say, and he'll say something to my goalie because I do not want to plant a negative seed. Remember, we walk in the picture we hold of ourselves. And if the pitcher comes, if someone else is saying something to us, that pitcher is gonna get enlarged in our mind. So if a coach says something like, and I've had clients that that have been having a great game, and there's one save they didn't make, they should have made, they're going out for the third period. The coach looks at them, gets a gnarly look on their face, whatever you do, no, then he swears goals. Or no, and yeah, and that enthusiasm, it's gonna be imprinted on their brain the whole period. So, coaches, just talk in terms of what you want for goaltenders. Another key thing, too, is is I had a goalie coach tell me, he's like the head coach pulled me aside and said, Why didn't you yell at the goalie for not making that save?

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Why didn't someone said that to you?

SPEAKER_03 31:49

Head coach said it to the goalie coach. And the coach is like, because I don't want that to be the thing going through his mind, he's got to forget about it right away. And if we bring it up, he's gonna remember it and we're gonna create more of that because that's gonna be what he's focusing on, right? He's gonna be focused on all the things he does wrong then. And I hey, I have some good friends that are NHL goalie coaches, they tell me their biggest job is to keep the goalie away from the head coach.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

Yeah, yeah, and I I gotta ask you a question about parents. Um, my my gosh, God bless them, their hearts are in the right place. But I've seen some goalie parents uh take on the role of being the statistic expert. You know, they've got the clipboard, they're seeing where the shots go in, which one they and they're logging every shot and then going over it with their young goalie of like, wow, you missed this, you need to do this, and look at these statistics that I've come. I'm thinking, time out parents, you probably shouldn't be doing that. Is that a good idea to be you know, being the statistic expert for for your goalie kid?

SPEAKER_03 32:57

Well, uh Carter Hart, yeah, Carter Hart was at one of my my seminars a few years ago, and when he won CHL goalie the year, when he won CHL goalie the year, yeah, he's coming off the ice for a game, and the announcer goes, you know, your your goals against average is like one point something. And he's like, I had no idea. No idea. I had no idea. That's the way it should be. Yes, yes. And so here's another key, I think, mindset for parents to keep in mind when they're talking to their goaltender, are they keeping them in the athlete mindset or are they pulling them in the fan mindset? So a fan is whatever a fan's gonna think. Oh, the referee was terrible. That was a bad call. Your D should you shouldn't take that call. They went off your D-man. He's terrible. Da-da-da-da-da. Well, the goalie's gonna go in that fan mindset and focus on all the uncontrollables, right? And so here's some things. If parents want to have some fun with with their with their goaltenders, tell them this say when your team has a puck and you're under the neutral zone. This is what I told Jakob Dobisch when they're playing game seven against Tampa Bay. When your team has a puck and you're in the neutral zone, crave that they turn it over. You're like what why why would we want them to do that? Here's why. Here's how it works scientifically. Because remember, you walk into the picture, you hold to yourself. And like when I played, I'd be like, get it out, get it out, get it out. Well, the pictures in my head were getting the puck out. So when the play's turned over, I'd be behind the play.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 34:21

Yet if you're turn it over, turn it over, turn it over, boom. When it's turned over, you're on top of that. Yes, yeah. So that would be number one. And number two is have them change this mentality with penalties. Love it when your team takes Carson Bjarneson. He's in the Philadelphia Flyers organization.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

Carson and uh, you know, I worked with Carson for for a few years, and these when he's playing in Brandon of the Western Hockey League, his team takes two penalties, the refs game by, and and Carson's like, that's awesome. Because he's uh we we'd work together. Thanks, ref. Yeah, and the ref looks at him like, Barney, are you messing with me? No, I I I I love it that we got the penalty, and and yeah, so so because think of it, uh, unless you just won the Vesina trophy, you probably want to move up a level, right?

SPEAKER_00 35:10

To move up even then, you want to get better, get better, right?

SPEAKER_03 35:15

Right. Yes, you know.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

I go ahead. I'm sorry, Pete.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Oh, I was just gonna say, uh, so so to move up, we need that resistance, and yeah, the resistance is when our team takes penalties, it's an opportunity for us.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

You know, I'm I've been taking notes here. I love this mindset. It it also plays into that maybe uh why goalies are crazy kind of uh mentality. Now, here's the thing I don't think goalies are crazy, I think everybody else is crazy, all right? Because the tools, yeah, yeah, the the tools that you're explaining, for some reason we've limited to goaltenders in our minds as coaches, as hockey fans. These tools are just as valuable for skaters as they are for goaltenders. And you're actually making me realize things from my own career, man. Like I had a very good face-off percentage. I'm not trying to brag. I I tell people when they ask me, Well, why do you think you were so good? It said, Because when I went into a face-off, I believed I was going to win every face-off that I took. I never went in with doubt. Or when I was on special teams on the penalty kill, I loved being on the PK, right? When a penalty would happen, I would get excited. Like you said, sounds a little crazy. All right, but that's the a growth mindset, that's a good mindset. I think when it comes, and we'll keep it to goaltenders for the nature of the show, but I'm gonna say it again, you can apply this with everybody. That growth mindset is not just important, it's invaluable. And I'm not just talking about in hockey, right? You said it before, don't let the first goal in, right? Man, that's that's tough advice. I remember my son um was having a little bit of uh an issue where the first shot was going in quite a bit. All right. This is this is when he was younger, and we talked about it, and I never once said, I'm again, I'm not trying to, it sounds like I'm patting myself on the back. I'm not. I just remember having the conversation with him. It wasn't, hey, don't let the first uh shot in. It was hey, this visualize making the first save. And he goes, Oh, I love it. Yeah, that's what coaches should say, right? Nailed it, Lee. He says, Well, what if it goes in? I said, Visualize the second save. There you go. You know, just visualize the save. Like, don't think about it going in. Um, and and all the power to my kid. Like, you know, he improved on that by by that. I I I always say this too with coaching, Pete, and this is a big part of it, uh, especially for the athletes listening. You know, I always thank my players uh during the season because it's a choice for them to listen to me, right? Uh, especially in the youth game. Again, the higher levels, there's a little bit of a different relationship, but I could say everything I want, right? You choose to listen as a player, right? So for the kids listening right now, maybe you know, choose to listen, right? That's one thing. Choose to listen to Pete here because he's giving you really actionable advice here. But you have to have this open mind. I don't know why we limit this just to goaltenders, it should be players as well.

SPEAKER_03 38:10

Stand that up and set and and have some fun with it. Like, like how like for example, I was on Zoom with Jakob Dobisch before game seven against Tampa, right? And remember that game, Montreal was outshot 30-something to nine, I think.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

Right.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

One of the things that I had Jacob do was to, you know, I get him to do his drawing before every game. So he does a drawing and he's having fun with it. So he'll draw his number and then Vasileski's number, and he'll draw a greater sign to himself. Right. And then he'll draw the numbers of their top three or four forwards, he'll put X's through them. Okay. And then I took him through a visualization where he'd visualize the handshake because he looks up to Vasileschi big time, right? So I had him visualize in the handshake line, Vasileski congratulating him, wishing him luck in the next round. So, so the reason I say that is have some fun with it. Yeah. Some things that you can imagine that's good, because once again, whatever pictures you put in your mind, your brain's going to lead you towards it. Right.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Right. I think that would kind of help take the pressure off, too. You have a little fun with it.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

Yeah. I I agree. If you put in the subconscious mind, you basically set it and forget it. You set it right, and then you just focus on what you need to do in the moment. Right.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Seems like we would love to hear the work that you're doing too with uh NHL Sense Arena. And Ali's a big fan.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

I've got a story for you after you talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_03 39:34

Yeah, yeah. I yeah, NHL Sensorina is fantastic. And so so they they approached me to do the mindset portion for them with NHL Sensorina. And and I'm big on once again, you walk into the picture, you hold yourself. So as they're making the saves, they'll hear like you're a wall, you're a brick wall, you're a brick wall that stops everything coming your way. Every time you get set for a save, you'll hear the word power and you'll feel like the powerful wall that you are. I'm basically hypnotizing them. I didn't want to say that word, you can sort of that, but no, it's not all all hypnotism is all it is, is it's setting aside the conscious mind for the subconscious mind to listen. That's all it is, right? And so it's it's a confidence builder. Yeah, it's yeah, it exactly. And we're always getting you know hypnotized for advertising and stuff like this. Why not have it in a positive way?

SPEAKER_00 40:25

Right. Well, I will tell you this. So I uh look, it's no secret here. NHL Sense Arena is our title sponsor. Uh, you know, we we searched you out, Pete. That that that was separate from this. Uh, but one of the things I love about NHL Sense Arena is that it's not just a game, right? They are really deep into finding any way to enhance the hockey training experience. That's why we say it's a tool. Now, here's the fun story for you. Uh, my son, again, 12 years old, all right, he hopped into Sense Arena into your into your mindset training. And we did the progression shooting where the the shots come a little faster each time. Uh, and and funny enough, as you said, hypnotizing, your voice is slow and speeds up, right? And he was doing one where you're saying, coming down from the right side, shot to the glove. I I just can hear you in my head. And he did this three times. And then the last one, the full speed one, you say, and and if you guys have seen the video, you've heard it, you're a wall in the net, right? Um, I just won't forget this. He had a game that night, and sure as sure as heck, guy comes down the right side, cuts across, shoots it right into his glove, exactly as it did in the simulation, right? And I'm watching him, and I hear him go, You're a wall in the net in the game, right? That's amazing. We're talking instantaneous transfer from this tool of Sensorena to the game. Now, again, Sensorina or not, this is just a great version of what you're talking about and how it applies. And I loved the process of it being slow. And here's the other thing, too. What was awkward about this at first, I think we should talk about that too, is you're insanely positive in this mode on in Sensorina, right? It to almost a jarring point of like, wow, this guy really believes in me. You know what I mean? Uh, but the other thing was you say, I want the audience to really hear this point. You say where the puck's gonna go. And I remember that there was some, I don't want to say confusion, but the question of, well, if I know where it's going, I'm gonna make the save. And like, yes, correct. That's the point. We're visualizing this save. And when it happened slow and then faster and then faster, you know, boy, did that stick in his mind to the point that he did it in a game. And his first thought was not, oh, I made this great save. His first thought was, I'm a wall in the net. And it was in your voice. He mim he mimicked you. It's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_03 42:54

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 42:54

He's gonna probably listen to this episode and and be smiling when we talk about this. But I wanted to bring that up because you've never met my son. This isn't this is where I'm going. You never met him. This is where this works, right? It's a powerful tool, whether it's done digitally, in person, at one of your workshops, on the ice, that everyone, regardless of whether you play our silly game or not, should be adapting into their life, correct?

SPEAKER_03 43:19

Yes, 100%, 100%. We walk into the picture we hold of ourselves. Our job as a parent should be to help create those powerful pictures for our centers.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

Right. And and parents, I'm gonna say it again. We get emails about this too a lot, Pete. That you know, uh, okay, my kid wants to play in the NHL, and that's a pretty big dream, and I don't want them to get hurt. Uh yeah, it's totally normal parental thing there. Okay. And I think the quote that I always like to say is look, you don't have to support their dream, but you have to support their right to have a dream. Don't don't take that from them, okay? Because what we're talking about, like you said, thinking about the goal, the puck going in the net or looking at their own things, if you don't let them Dare to dream, they won't dare to dream.

SPEAKER_03 44:02

Exactly. And it's it's it's beyond hockey. It's like and so parents ask me, and I'm like, they should shoot to play in the National Hockey League. Right. How come we want to teach them how to think big? You look at most the most successful entrepreneurs. If you ask them at the end of their life, what's one thing that you might you would have done differently? You know, of course, it's always spend more time with family, then it's like I would have thought bigger. I would have thought bigger. And when when I go back to the whole thing when I was drafted by New Jersey, all I had done is listen to the naysayers. The chances are slim and none, and da-da-da-da-da. And there's even that study that came out about how it's one in 4,000. And I always I tear that study apart in the sense of because they say it's one in 4,000, yet not everyone is the same because they they don't put in that study how many people were how many of those those 30,000 minor hockey players they surveyed were in great shape, right? Right? How many worked on their mental skills, how many worked on even their technical skills? So once you start to do that, the odds get better and better and better and better and better. And once again, I think you should shoot to play in the National Hockey League. And it's not about that, it's about thinking bigger for everything you're gonna do in your life.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

One of my favorite quotes that I tell everyone is how big would you dream if you knew you couldn't fail? Yeah, how big would you dream? And it's just an unlocking question of making you aware of okay, there are some limiting beliefs here, and then hey, have some fun with this. Adversely, coaches, I and I beg coaches not to do this. Do not say to those kids, you're never gonna make the NHL. You know the odds are against you. There's no point in thinking, none of you are making the NHL. Do not tell the kids that, and I will tell you why. There is a kid in every locker room where that's said that you just devastated, every one of them. All right. There's no value to you telling the kids they're not gonna make it. Okay, we all know the odds. Okay, do not take that from these kids. Allow them to dream big. All right. I I just that's one that hurts me, you know, because it was said to me, and I'll tell you that that I think the difference was I remember thinking, but someone's gotta make it.

SPEAKER_03 46:17

Yeah, it's good for you, right?

SPEAKER_00 46:19

Someone's gonna make it. And here's the thing, I'm living a life of hockey now, right? So, as are all of us here, Christy. You do that news thing on the side, but you know, all of us do that hockey stuff. All right, last question for you, Pete. You know, I want to ask this too is that uh the goalie mindset actually affects the entire team. Um, and I'm I'm talking to both the coaches and the players here that you know, when I I tell my my own kid, like, hey, if you fall apart, the team's gonna fall apart if you're in like when they see that it's over. Now, when they see you smiling or they see you dancing after after whatever, changes the whole thing. I've seen teams completely flip because the goaltender has the right idea. Can you talk to us for just a couple minutes about how we always say the goalie's the backbone? That's not just from the score, that's emotionally too.

SPEAKER_03 47:04

Yeah, for sure. And I think if you if you look at it like as a goaltender, we we want to remain in that athlete mindset yet realize this our players on our team are gonna go up and down like a yo-yo. I think if they score a goal, they're up here. Do we we we allow a goal, they're down here, right? Our body language is negative, they're gonna stay down there. We bring it back to positive, they're they're gonna feel better. And so everything we do affects them. And and a key thing too is you know, by making like the key saves of the key times, it's almost as good as our team scoring a goal. Yeah, because they get that boost, right? They get that boost, and so and so yeah, it's all about I'd say remain remaining in that athlete mindset. If you don't make a save, you're making the next save. Come on, guys, I got this. Smile, do something, stand powerfully, stand tall, because that is it's it's like yawning. If if if I was to yawn, the chances of you two yawning goes right up, wouldn't be good for the show if I was to yawn, but you're right, it does. It's because what we do is contagious out there, so yeah, keep that powerful body language, it affects the team big time, no matter what. Carrie Price. I had a client was going on the ice with Carrie Price. So, what's the biggest thing you notice about him? You can't tell if he made a save or not. That's true. He's so even killed. Yeah, you can never tell if he was tired, he would never look down, right? So, those are two key things. So, yeah, as a goaltender, work on those two things, keep that body language consistently, whether you're making a save or not making a save, whether it's the start of the game or it's a third period and you're feeling a little bit tired there.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

All right. Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate all this great advice. And once again, you're helping parents let their kids dream big and chase their dreams with all their heart and their minds. Key to success.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

Thanks for having me on. It's been it's been it's been an honor to be on here with you guys. Look forward to coming on again.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

Yeah, Pete, I was just gonna say this time kind of flew by a little faster than I'm used to. I just looked at the clock. I'm like, oh wow, we gotta we're at time here. Uh for the audience listening, uh Pete Fry.net net, excuse me, PeteFry.net apropos, right? Uh, and that's F R O Y. Please check out his stuff, his books, his speaking. Obviously, Sensorena has some really amazing stuff in there. Pete, is there anything else going on with you right now we want to shout out? I I one thing, maybe we did just launch a course for for parents, for goalie parents.

SPEAKER_03 49:26

Oh, I love that. Oh, sign them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and the first parent that did it called me after he said, Parents should not be allowed to buy goalie pads until they do this course, right? So it's it really could it'll help them, you know, watch the game more relaxed, enjoy it more, and of course communicate better with their with their goaltenders.

SPEAKER_01 49:44

Well, I was can you imagine that a goalie parent watching a game relaxly?

SPEAKER_00 49:49

People say I'm relaxed. People come up to me and say, How are you so relaxed? And we'll talk about that off the air. But yeah, like I'm actually I'm actually the calmest one out there. Wow. Um, listen, Pete, again, as as uh Christy said, fantastic episode. Thank you so much. We will absolutely have you back on again. And for the audience listening, Pete's gonna join us for a quick uh ride to the rink session that you're not gonna want to miss. But that is gonna do it for this edition of Our Kids Play Goalie. Remember, you can email us team at our kidsplayhockey.com or use the link accompanying this episode in the description. You can send us a text. I've been going back and forth with a lot of you lately. So I appreciate that. But for Pete, for Christy, I'm Lee. We'll see you on the next episode, everybody. Have a great day. We hope you enjoyed this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey. Make sure to like and subscribe right now if you found value wherever you're listening, whether it's a podcast network, a social media network, or our website, ourkidsplayhockey.com. Also, make sure to check out our children's book, When Hockey Stops, at when hockey stops.com. It's a book that helps children deal with adversity in the game and in life. We're very proud of it. Thanks so much for listening to this edition of Our Kids Play Hockey, and we'll see you on the next episode.