The Ride to The Rink: How to Handle Hockey Nerves, Pressure, and Pregame Anxiety

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Hello, hockey skaters and goalies around the world, and welcome to a very important episode of the Ride to the Rink. It's Lee, Mike, and Christy here today. And kids, what we want to talk about on our big episode this week is with Spawn this. Uh, what to do if you're feeling a little nervous, or maybe you're feeling like you're not competing the way you want to compete, uh, or just there's some emotional response from you, maybe one you can't even put your finger on, that's keeping you from playing the way you want to play. There's a pressure there, there's a fear there that's keeping you from doing what you want to do. Now, and I gotta say this too before we get into this. No matter where you're at in your hockey journey, kids, you might be feeling great right now. At some point along the journey, you are going to experience this. Everyone does. You can call it a slump, you can call it being unconfident, but at some point in your hockey journey, you're gonna feel not okay or not right. So, what the three of us are gonna discuss today is just some tools you can use to A, recognize that this might be happening, and then B, if you recognize it, what can I do to get out of this? Right? Who wants to start here today? Because this is a I'll start.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

First, kids, I want to know your feelings are real, and everybody gets nervous at times, which makes a lot of sense if you feel nervous with new kids because that happens, a new situation, a new range. But you still can go out there and play your game. That doesn't change. If you love hockey, you're gonna adjust that confidence will come in time. And there are some things that you can do to kind of get those nerves under control, but acknowledge that it's okay to feel that way. We all do it times. And Lee've got some great tools to share with kids on how to handle that nervousness.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Yeah, look, I always say, and Christy, the the the you just alluded to it, kids, the most important tool by far is just saying what you're feeling. I'm angry, I'm nervous, I'm unconfident, I'm scared, right? And I don't mean going in front of the room and saying it, kids, I mean just kind of saying it to yourself, all right. Because once you say what you're feeling, kids, what kind of happens is you acknowledge it and then you get control because now you've identified it. When you don't acknowledge those feelings, those feelings can can take over your body, right? So, kids, you've all experienced this at some point. You get very angry to the point the anger hijacks your body, means it takes over, and you start screaming and stomping and yelling and going nuts. All right, kids. Again, this happens at every age, by the way. There's adults do this too. Let's just be perfectly honest about it. Kids, I'm talking to you, but adults do this too, okay. But as soon as I'm able to say, and it's hard, I'm really angry. That's usually what it sounds like. I start to be like, Oh, okay, I'm really angry. Okay, I've start to understand that. Okay, that can be you can also do this with positive emotions. Wow, I'm really excited, I'm really happy, right? Because positive emotions can do things to you too, they can make you make bad decisions because you're so excited. So that's my first tool is really identify what you're feeling, right? And then from there, it's different for everybody, you know. Let's talk. We talked about nervousness. I'm nervous now. You've acknowledged it. Okay, now you have to do something with that feeling. And usually the next thing is well, okay, be curious. Why am I nervous? Well, I'm nervous because I don't want to make a mistake. This is a big game today, and I want to play well. Well, you can turn that into a positive. Well, you're what I hear kids when I hear that is okay, so you care about the game. You care about your team, you care about winning, you care about the team today, you care about your performance. That's a good thing. That's a good thing that you want to play well today. I wouldn't want a kid who didn't care. Right now, now we're starting to step into confidence a little bit of oh wow, I'm nervous because I care. That's a very normal response. Again, I'm I'm I'm making this about youth hockey kids. This is true everywhere in life. Okay, you can learn to live with those feelings. And I gotta say this too, and Mike, I'll throw it to you right after this. The the thoughts in your head, first off, I've said this before, kids, you're not those thoughts. What you're thinking is not the whole being of who you are. I'm not gonna go deep into that, all right? But you experience emotions because you're a human being. Okay, those thoughts don't ever really go away. You will hear them forever. Okay, it's getting control over those thoughts that is really the skill set of acknowledging even when you're 40 years old, oh wow, I'm really angry, right? That that's the skill. All right.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

I'll stop there and I'll throw it to my well again, you it's okay to be nervous. It's it's actually a very, you know, common thing. And you go in and you're, you know, maybe you didn't have a lot of confidence. But I think one of the things you got to be aware of too, as a player, you know, don't over don't overcompensate being nervous and being you know afraid and and be and not having all that, you know, a little swagger when you're locked in the room to be over that, right? And that like don't you know, don't don't go out of your way to try to be somebody you're not to overcome you know that that reservation. Just just again, just Christy said it, Lee said it, you you know you're nervous. And just like us, like when I get on the air, if I'm nervous about a subject or I'm nervous about an interview, I go in my head and I kind of pump myself up and I put myself in a place of saying, I can do this, I'm good at it, and I'm I like doing it and I'm prepared. And then you walk in. And if you walk, and your body language and the way you come into that room and the way you step onto that ice is going to help you, you know, move yourself along the way. And and again, if you're you know, if you're controlling that, it's a much better feeling. And I think you know, then that that that nervousness and that trepidation, you know, it will will go away.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Yeah, I'll take it a step further for you, Mike. You know, kids, you can go online and search uh Olympic athlete, pro athletes doing positive affirmations, okay? And and you can see this especially in track and field. You'll see uh uh sprinters right before they run, you can see them mounting. I am a world-class sprinter, I am going to win this race, I am the fastest person alive, I I'm willing to do anything to win. All right. Now, when they're saying these things, I there there may be a voice in their head saying the opposite. That's why I'm trying to say, what if I told you, right? Maybe neither one of them is real, but you've got to combat the negative stuff with positive stuff. I I don't like to say fake it till you make it, um, but it's but it's on those lines, right? Of you can say positive things to yourself too, even if your body might feel like, I don't know if that's true. Say it. I want to be great. Be realistic. You can't go out there like I'm gonna score 47 goals today. That's not realistic, all right. But you can say, Man, I'm gonna give my full effort today, I'm gonna do the best that I can today. I'm a valuable person on this team. All right. I also want to say something too that Mike said, kids, that um the the the the the doing it the other way, right? Like the being someone you're not, the way that usually manifests is two ways. One is uh a player who's very quiet. That's one way. They're quiet, maybe they're not saying much, they're starting to bury all their feelings. That's not great. The other one, kids, this may surprise you. Uh you bully or you tease other kids and you go in the locker room and say, You're stupid, you suck, blah, blah, blah. I don't like you. When I see a kid doing that in the locker room, I'm I, as a coach, and you kids, you should know that. As a coach, I'm like, Oh, that kid's nervous. That that kid's emotionally compromised right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're throwing it on your teammates, right? And I've had conversations with you know with kids who get teased, and nobody likes to be teased. And I'll tell them, you're being teased. First off, you got to not let that bother you, right? I always talk about that first. I said, The kid's teasing you because he's nervous and he doesn't know how to how to deal with his emotions. It's all part of the human experience. You gotta say it again, right? It's not gonna stop in hockey.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

You can see it's like and what's always helped my kids too is develop a pre-game ritual. Um, so whatever works for you, like take a deep breath, take a sip of water, have that positive affirmation, you know, first shifts, gate hard. Say that to yourself. Have a ritual before you go out there and it'll help bundle up those nerves.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Yeah, you know, a great one, Christy. I'll say, and I I did this especially in my later years playing, is I had a gratitude uh kind of thing that I did. And kids, what I mean by that is I just before every game, I'd say what I was thankful for before I stepped on the ice.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Very nice.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

You know, I'm thankful for my family, I'm thankful to be able to play, I'm thankful for my opponent, I'm thankful for the referees most of the time. All right, like, like, but that put me in a really good place before the game, right? And and again, kids, I I always say this, kids, it didn't soften me because in my in my mindset, if I don't give my best for the people I care about, I'm letting them down. That made me compete really hard. Okay, so that that's another one. The other one, too, is and kids, I know your parents might be listening. Parents, so if you do this, just pay attention. Um, a phrase that I really dislike that I hear from adults. Um, and kids, I want you to be aware of this is when you might go, Man, I'm nervous, and they go, Well, don't feel that way. That is a really bad thing to say to anyone because you do feel that way. All right, and that's why we say acknowledge your feelings. It's totally normal to have feelings, but saying don't feel that way, that's not how our bodies work, right? All right, so instead of saying don't feel that way, ask better questions. Why are you feeling that way? All right, or say, oh wow, okay. Uh well, I don't want you to be nervous before the game, right? Or I don't want to be nervous before the game, and then explore the feeling, but don't bury it to the point you don't ever acknowledge it. I gotta say this too. Look, there are situations in life where you're gonna be feeling something and you do need to push them aside for a moment to achieve whatever it is you have to achieve, but you cannot just leave them there. You've got to find a way to acknowledge them because they build and build and build, and eventually you will pop. Okay, and that that you don't want that either. Okay, so getting deeply psychological kids. You can handle it. You're big kids. You can handle it.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

They can handle it.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Any final thoughts, guys? Mike, you look like you're on the verge of saying something.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

No, no, I'm just I'm just I'm just re- I'm re I'm replaying in my mind. If you're a parent too, and you're listening to this with your child, I mean just bring out your your inner, you know, Stuart Smalley. Like just figure out a way, you know, to find those real good positive affirmations. And it doesn't have to be serious and doesn't have to be like, you know, like depth of of of you know your life. It just has to be the fact that like even if my if my son says I'm really nervous about this, I'm not saying, well, you shouldn't be nervous, or you know, but it's more like you know, don't be nervous. It's more like you shouldn't be nervous, you're prepared. You got this, you got that. And and if you're a player, you know, Christy said it, write these things down. Think about it before. You all have your phone, put it in your phone and just reflect on it. Go read it. Oh, right, I remember. I am prepared for this, I can do this. And that that that that feeling that you can do it um is is so powerful. And and you can train yourself to continue to do it and get better and better and better just by what you put in your brain before you step out of the car and into the ring.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Christina and learning how to thrive in those situations where you might feel uncomfortable or nervous, that's gold. That is a skill way bigger than hockey, something that you're gonna have for the rest of your life. Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

And I'll I'll finish on this one, gang. I was just talking to an NHL athlete the other day, and I love asking NHL athletes, um, uh, what's the separator? Like, what do you think the separator is? Because skill skills are given. And he said something so profound. He said, belief. He goes, everyone I know that makes it believes fully that they belong there. They're not hoping to make it, they're not, they're not nervous to make it. They experience those emotions, but they have so much belief in themselves that that pushes them beyond the person next to them who doesn't believe. So, kids, it's apt. I say it after every ride to the ring. Remember, wherever you're at on your hockey journey, we believe in you. You should too. Take that one into the ring. All right, my friend. Kids, love you. Have a great time out there today. Enjoy your hockey, enjoy your time. We'll see you on the next ride to the ring. Take care, everybody.