Should Your Child Play Up in Hockey? A Real Guide for Parents of 9–10 Year Olds

🏒 Should Your Child Play Up in Hockey? Let’s Talk About What Really Matters

It’s one of the most common—and stressful—questions in youth hockey:

Should my child play up?

When opportunities arise—better teams, stronger competition, familiar coaches—it can feel like saying “no” might hold your child back.

But here’s the truth:

👉 At 9 or 10 years old, you’re not choosing their future—you’re choosing their experience.

And that changes everything.

💡 The Big Decision: What Are You Really Choosing?

In this episode of Our Girls Play Hockey, a parent faces a tough situation:

• Stay at 10U locally

• Play co-ed

• Or accept a 12U opportunity requiring hours of travel every week

On paper, the “play up” option sounds exciting.

But when you zoom out, the real question becomes:

👉 What kind of experience do you want your child to have right now?

❤️ At This Age, Fun Is the Foundation

Olympian Haley Scamurra puts it simply:

“At nine years old… where are they going to have the most fun?”

That might sound obvious—but it’s often overlooked.

At this stage, development isn’t just about skills. It’s about:

• Loving the game

• Building friendships

• Feeling confident

• Wanting to come back to the rink

Because if those things disappear… so does the long-term potential.

🚗 The Hidden Cost of “Better Opportunities”

Long travel commitments can seem like a necessary sacrifice—but they come with real trade-offs:

• Less sleep

• Increased stress

• Missed family time

• Limited social development

• Higher risk of burnout

Even Haley didn’t take on major travel until high school—and admits it was exhausting.

👉 If it’s hard at 16, imagine it at 9.

📈 Development Isn’t What You Think

There’s a common belief that:

Better competition = better development

But that’s not always true.

In fact, staying at the appropriate level can unlock new growth opportunities:

• Learning teamwork

• Becoming a leader

• Developing creativity

• Improving decision-making

As discussed in the episode, sometimes the best development comes from:

👉 Making others around you better—not just being challenged yourself

🧠 The Coaching Myth

Many parents worry about leaving a “great coach.”

But here’s the reality:

• No coach is perfect

• Every coach offers something different

• Growth comes from varied perspectives

Learning how to adapt to different coaching styles is a skill in itself—and one that pays off later.

🏒 There Is No Perfect Path

This might be the most important takeaway:

👉 There is no single “right” decision in youth hockey.

Only informed choices.

And most importantly:

• One decision won’t define your child’s career

• Development happens over years—not seasons

• Passion matters more than placement

🌟 What Should Parents Do?

If you’re facing a similar decision, start here:

• Ask your child what they want

• Consider your family’s lifestyle and bandwidth

• Prioritize joy, not pressure

• Remove fear of missing out (FOMO)

• Focus on long-term love of the game

Because the kids who succeed long-term?

👉 They’re the ones who can’t wait to get back to the rink.

🎯 Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, youth hockey isn’t about chasing the perfect path.

It’s about building a foundation:

• Love for the game

• Strong relationships

• Positive experiences

Because those are the things that last—and the things that matter most.

🎧 If this episode hit home, share it with another hockey parent who might need to hear it—and keep the conversation going.